


Uncensored

by KatrinaRice



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I guess it turned into porn with a lot of plot, M/M, Porn Star Levi, Porn With Plot, porn star Erwin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 19:17:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 110,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20569508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinaRice/pseuds/KatrinaRice
Summary: Erwin Smith is a legend in the adult movie world. That’s why Levi is nervous when he gets the chance to shoot with the blond gay porn star for the first time. It’s supposed to boost his career, his manager says. Only it doesn’t. At least not in the expected kind of way. And suddenly, Levi’s life gets flipped upside down – but so does Erwin’s.





	1. Rising star

**Author's Note:**

> I blame it on white wine or rather my white wine hangover. Follow me on Twitter for (hangover) updates, if you like this one - @SummoningIsis - Comments are always appreciated, enjoy this ride (hopefully). And maybe you should have some wine, too.

**Cover art made by Bucky, https://twitter.com/Buckarts**

Erwin Smith was particularly known for three things.

One: His stamina was incredible.

Being 35 years old he had starred in way over 200 adult movies. He was a legend to many – hot wanking material, first major crush, to some even a god. Furthermore, Erwin Smith was not only able to last extremely long and postpone his orgasm for hours, if he wanted to – he was also able to get it back up quickly after coming, which enabled him to climax multiple times during filming. That’s why directors loved to pair him up with various protagonists and also often used him for orgy scenarios, made him top man after man, until all of them were one enormous, exhausted heap of limp flesh.

Two: He aged gracefully.

He’d started his career when he’d been 19 years old and had looked like a wet dream come true: golden hair, shiny smooth skin, a chiselled athletic body, a certain youthful glint in his deep blue eyes, rosy mouth always pulled into a cheeky grin, his butt round and firm. And sure: Now, all those years later, one could see that the blond man wasn’t a teenager anymore, and that he also had left his glorious and lewd twenties behind. But the more time passed, the better Erwin Smith actually started to look – one could not argue about that. One could only be amazed at how a pretty boy like that could become even prettier. Age had sharpened and not shrivelled his face. It had transformed a handsome boy into a defined man, had shaped him into another category of a wet dream: Erwin Smith was now a well-built, mature adult, who knew what he wanted, and whose gaze was so intense, even the guys behind the cameras felt shivers running down their spines when he looked at another man like that right in front of them – while screwing his brains out with all his expertise collected throughout his life.

And three: Erwin Smith had a massive cock.

He had won several titles and awards for its sheer size and beauty. Its length wasn’t what was so extraordinary about it. It came up to seven and half inches in an erect state. Many men in the industry could beat that. But what made Erwin Smith’s cock into being such a treat to touch and to take was its circumference, at around five and a half inches, maybe even six. Bluntly said: it was thick, with a furious round, massive head so many men out there wanted to worship and lick and suck and kiss – or have Erwin rub it all over their bodies and stick into their love hole. Levi Ackerman was one of them. Though the man would have _never_ admitted that.

Levi, nine years Erwin’s junior, was a rising star. With just two years of experience in front of the camera he was a rookie compared to the blond legend. But his popularity was high. So high in fact, _Boner Mag_’s readers had proclaimed him as this year’s ‘most epic power bottom’ in the big online magazine’s annual gay porn ranking, famous in the industry and thus an important benchmark.

So when _W.D. productions_ – one of the biggest companies composing high quality gay porn – announced the first movie _ever_ to feature Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman together – the whole internet just _blew up_.

And so did Levi.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” he said when Hange, his best friend and manager, told him, barging into the room like the lunatic they were, tripping over a chair, nearly knocking over Levi’s aquarium, home to several black Angelfish.

“It’s happening!” they shrieked. “Erwin _fucking_ Smith! Do you have _any_ idea what this will actually do to your career?” Of course he knew. “The people will talk about nothing else! You _need_ to sign this deal!” And he agreed to, because Hange was right.

Already after the first production’s posting, confirming the shoot that was about to begin soon, fans of Erwin and Levi went nuts, liking, sharing and commenting like crazy. Only a few hours later Levi’s phone chimed again, informing him that he’d been tagged in another post on Twitter – and his throat went tight when he opened up his feed.

Erwin had uploaded a picture. He was naked, or nearly so. Only a very wet and very thin, white – well, almost _transparent_ – mini-towel covering his erection; it was a stark contrast to the rest of his tanned and muscled body, his moist skin glistening, water dripping down onto his broad shoulder from his tussled hair, lips pulled into a smug smirk, his head raised slightly, looking down at whoever was holding the camera, the angle highlighting the man’s strong dominance that cast an alluring spell on so many and made men’s knees go weak.

_‘Can’t wait to meet Levi Ackerman’_ – that’s all Erwin had written underneath the post, and Levi whistled in astonishment when he registered the number of likes. The (very hot) picture was on for what? Maybe five minutes? And it had already received almost 100 little hearts, while 20 people had retweeted it – and both numbers were growing.

“Filthy, horny brats,” he muttered, shaking his head while grinning – his eyes scanning the equally increasing number of comments, the majority of fans being _‘already hard’_, others expressing their joy about Smith’s confirmation by posting gifs of exploding hearts and brains and announcing they would _‘wank so hard to this’_.

Levi smirked, scrolling back up to look at Erwin’s (very hot, indeed) photo – and then he liked and retweeted it himself. And after thinking about it for a few minutes, he chose to respond. Also, because Hange shot him a text with a screenshot of Erwin’s posting, encouraging him to do just that with a characteristically frantic message. _‘RESPOND WITH HOT PIC ASAP! YOU NEED SOCIAL MEDIA! SOCIAL MEDIA NEEDS YOU! GET THAT DICK OUT NOW! GO GO GO!’ _

He shrugged off his shirt and pants and lay down on top of his bed, stroking himself to hardness (while staring at the very, _very_ hot picture of Erwin), and then used his left hand to barely cover his stiff cock, the wet glans looming over his fingers, completely visible to the lens, and took a couple of selfies, biting his bottom lip like he knew his fans loved it, body arching slightly off the mattress while he did so, and then let Hange chose the best one. His manager had already applied a filter and all Levi needed to do now was to post it, tagging Erwin, being as straightforward as he always was:

_‘I can’t wait to be fucked by you, Erwin Smith.’ _

It only took a second for his notifications to blow up. And even though a rush of adrenaline hit him and the reactions of his fans made him smile, he only truly cared about _one_ response right now. The corresponding notification plopped up a minute later: Erwin Smith had liked and retweeted Levi’s post. Another minute later, the man even commented on the caption, and Levi’s hands began to sweat when he read the man’s reply.

_‘It’s going to be pure pleasure – ravaging your cute little ass.’ _

And suddenly, Levi realised that he was… _nervous_.

Sure, he had already filmed with Mike Zacharias, a notorious top with a huge-ass fan base, who had been part of this business almost as long as Erwin, and who was even considered to be a close friend of the blond man in question. Levi had also starred in a movie with Reiner Braun, a top who had entered the business four years ago, already well-known for his nine inches of dick and his hard fucking – taking that huge thing had _almost_ hurt, and it was the roughest sex he’d ever had, but it had totally boosted his career and he had received many interesting offers after that.

The _most interesting_ being his upcoming shooting with Erwin Smith.

Levi had seen the man’s movies. _All_ of them. He had actually spent his whole youth wanking off to Erwin pounding different kinds of men in different kinds of settings. He had touched himself while imagining _being_ one of those men, having Erwin fuck him against a wall, into the mattress, the ground.

…and he had also purchased the very expensive dildo shaped after Erwin’s cock, and still owned the original packing with a (very hot) picture of the (very) naked man, his massive dick in his own massive hand, looking straight into the camera with that special, seductive look of his, saying: _I’ll fuck you so hard, you won’t even be able to get up tomorrow. _

Yes. Levi was a fan. Always had been.

And so when Erwin had followed him on Twitter and his other social media platforms Levi had kind of freaked out like all of those little and perverted fan boys out there. He had been following Smith for what felt like decades. And when the man started _liking_ his postings – especially his very lewd and naked snaps which Hange advised him to take in order to keep his followers horny and happy – _Levi_ was the one feeling horny and happy. And knowing now that Erwin Smith would actually really fuck him soon was kind of overwhelming. A long (very wet) dream coming finally true.

Ah, but with men like Erwin Smith there was always a catch…

Levi had heard some rumours about the blond being rather full of himself, cocky and condescending once the cameras were off. And Levi had experienced this sort of behaviour with some other VIP-porn actors, who had not even said _a word_ to Levi before and after shooting their load inside of his ass, treating him like some kind of naïve toy to use, or worse: like a nobody. Yet he hadn’t really given a shit about one of them. Until now.

Because the thought of Erwin turning out to be a massive prick… It would ruin all of his fantasies. It would be worse than finding out about Santa Clause being a myth. It scared Levi. Also: He was intimidated. Erwin Smith was his idol. And he wanted to impress the man. He wanted to perform well. To do good. Make the movie into a success.

So that’s why when it came to preparing for the shoot, Levi requested Hange to take the double amount of time he usually did – and they obliged. Because Hange was the only person on this planet who actually was aware of Levi having one big massive crush on Erwin Smith and thus they knew just how important this event was to the raven-haired.

Levi had the whole day to get pampered. Hange arranged for a whole body massage, and also for the usual whole body waxing. Levi got his hair done and undercut trimmed. His nails were taken care of, and he cut down on food again, deciding to detox on organic juices instead – as empty bowels were a benefit when it came to his final preparation just a few hours before the shoot in form of an enema and stretching. Erwin’s thing was thick – he would need to take extra care of his sphincter. Or Erwin would have to do that, depending on what the director had in mind for them, if he wanted to include the preparations in the film or not.

Levi knew the guy. Franz Behring had actually shot his debut, had in fact discovered him when Levi was still working as a cam boy part time, had made an offer he and Hange couldn’t refuse – and now here he was, taking another one of Levi’s ‘firsts’. And what Levi had learned over the years was that Behring did not just work with anybody.

Due to some very clever investments – and his husband running a couple of very successful eco supermarkets – he had enough money and thus worked for fun only. Behring was passionate, and a job wasn’t just a job to him. He named making good gay porno his calling, his fate, his biggest hobby, and he wanted them to be perfect. They were his babies. And thus he chose his protagonists well – and always made sure to include some sort of background story to any kind of sex scenes he shot. That’s why his actors had to be able to _act_ – not only to _fuck_. And focussing on this, Behring had indeed produces the finest and most successful of _W.D. productions’_ titles. Many of them including Erwin. According to rumours, the blond was Behring’s muse. And: Just as he had discovered Levi, all those years ago he had also discovered Erwin. And look where the man was now, sixteen years later.

Behring never really disclosed his ideas for the shoot beforehand, because sometimes those ideas only came on the day of the shoot itself, inspired by his dreams, what he had read in the newspaper or they sprang from something he had overheard in other people’s conversations, his brilliant mind filling out the gaps and creating something completely new. Behring went with the flow. So when Levi arrived at the five-star hotel the shooting was supposed to take place, he really had no clue what kind of things he would be doing in the bedroom later on. He only knew of one thing: Erwin Smith was going to fuck him – and it excited him way more than it should.

As the elevator was going up and Hange was rambling on about the incredible numbers of likes and shares all of the posting concerning today’s production had received, Levi scolded himself and tried to calm his nerves. He needed to be professional about this if he wanted to earn Erwin’s respect. And he did. And so he couldn’t allow his ‘fan boy’-self to act out. He needed to shush it, drown it, keep it cool. But when the doors opened at the first floor and two more people boarded the cabin going up to the rented penthouse – his heart started to pound so loudly in his chest, he was afraid everyone around could actually hear that wild and wicked beat. Because it was Erwin – IT WAS ERWIN! – who was standing right in front of him right now. And damn, that man was tall, Levi thought, craning his head to look up at the (very hot) giant towering over him, deep dark pilot sunglasses hiding his eyes, a white (way too tight) t-shirt stretching across his hard and chiselled chest, highlighting his delectable pecs, the pitch black (and way too tight) jeans, low around the waist, emphasizing his very special package between his legs.

Levi had to scream at himself internally, because he realised his mouth gaped open – but it was too late. Erwin had caught him staring, and the man froze for a second. Then, realisation seemed to hit him, and Levi’s knees buckled when the man lifted the sun glasses, pushing them into his golden hair, revealing the mesmerizing blue of his eyes, gaze locking with Levi’s. And he smiled. The man. _Smiled. _ He smiled at Levi and it was the most endearing, beautiful smile he had ever seen on another man’s face. It seemed… genuine. And then… And then _his voice_. His voice was… wow.

“Levi Ackerman!” Erwin (fucking) Smith exclaimed, the white of his exposed teeth making the noirette think of hundreds of toothpaste commercials, wondering why Erwin wasn’t the star of one of those. He could sell anything. Without even showing his monster cock. “Finally, we meet,” the blond man continued, and Levi needed a few seconds to grasp that Erwin was holding out his hand, waiting for him to grasp it, shake it, and Levi finally did. And Erwin’s fingers and palm felt… so warm, and so soft, and so nice. “It’s so good to finally be meeting you, Levi, I’ve seen a lot of your movies, and I’m honoured to be working with you today,” he said, his voice a smooth rumble going right under Levi’s skin, making goosebumps erupt all over his arms and his words making Levi’s brain overload.

He giggled. He fucking giggled because he was so nervous – and… when had he ever fucking giggled? Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Hange’s mouth gape open now. Because – WHEN HAD HE EVER FUCKING GIGGLED?! “Oh, th-the pleasure, I mean honour is… is… I’m the one who’s honoured to be working with _you_, I’m such a huge fan of yours, I’ve seen every single fucking movie you’ve ever made and…”

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

There went all of his professionalism. Flushed down the fucking toilet in one single fucking second.

And Levi was terrified when he realised he was still clutching on to Erwin’s big ass hand. “S-sorry,” he muttered, letting go of it, sure now Erwin would roll his eyes, sigh internally, smile politely and not take Levi seriously anymore, who was a stuttering mess, instead of the confident power bottom known to the public, known to Erwin.

Shit.

Yet… Erwin merely chuckled. “I’m very honoured to have someone like you be my fan,” he said. And even though it may have sounded like a standard line the blond recited whenever being confronted by one of his followers, it didn’t _feel_ like that to Levi. He couldn’t say why, but it felt as Erwin really _meant_ what he was saying. “I have to admit, I was really excited when my manager told me about the opportunity to be shooting with you. And that doesn’t happen very often anymore,” he added, grinning – and his words went straight to Levi’s groin.

Growing hard today would definitely be not a problem.

“Hey Levi, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Moblit Berner,” said manager introduced himself, shaking Levi’s and then Hange’s hand as well.

“I am so glad this is taking place,” said Hange, also intruding themselves to Erwin, earning sounds of agreement from everyone stuffed into the elevator which seemed way too small although it wasn’t – and was this Erwin’s cologne that smelled so wonderfully, Levi wondered, gaping at the man’s exposed collarbone and his beautifully tanned skin – and the blond caught him staring yet again.

When their eyes locked, Erwin smiled once more. “I wonder what Behring has planned for us today,” he said to Levi, who felt as if he had never taken part in an adult conversation, his mind blank and his nervousness increasing.

“Yeah,” is all he managed to mutter, so glad that Hange took over for him.

“I talked to him briefly on the phone this morning,” they said. “His mind was already busy as fuck. He wants to speak with us the second we arrive on set.”

“Yeah,” Moblit responded, “he called me just an hour ago, stressing the importance of being on time because he wants to use most of the natural light coming into the penthouse or something like that...”

“It’s very beautiful indeed and has a lot of windows,” said Erwin, his blue eyes still resting on Levi’s form, still smiling at his way smaller co-actor and Levi was praying to whatever god or goddess or any other sort of supernatural being was listening to him that he wouldn’t blush. But he was sure he was already doing that. Because this was Erwin. This was _Erwin_ and the man actually talked to him like a normal human being and didn’t act cocky or arrogantly. He seemed… relaxed. He seemed friendly. He seemed… genuinely interested. “I have to say,” Erwin suddenly murmured, Hange and Moblit already deeply involved in a conversation about the most interesting scenarios Behring had come up with in the past, and leaned forward, his hand suddenly reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind Levi’s ear – and the latter froze, shivers running down his spine as Erwin’s face came closer to his, his eyes focussing on Erwin’s beautiful lips. “You are even cuter in person than you are on screen and on photos, Levi.” The younger man’s eyes widened and Erwin retracted his hand, his look turning more serious instantly. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “sometimes I just can’t control my mouth or body. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable…”

Levi’s heart started beating faster once more, and his skin felt so utterly hot where Erwin had just touched him – and he wanted more. Already. “Don’t worry, I’m good, old man,” he teased, forcing himself to grin the way he usually did, hot and cheeky and charming as fuck. “I would tell you that you’re even more handsome in person than on screen, but you’ve probably heard that like a thousand times, so I’m not gonna bore you with that,” he added.

There. That nice and gorgeous smile returned to Erwin’s face. “What a shame,” he suddenly said, evidently amused, “I would have liked to hear that out of your mouth, Levi. For a change, it would’ve actually _meant_ something to me.”

…and Levi’s heart fluttered once more. He opened his mouth, not sure of what to say – but the elevator chimed, informing the passengers of the journey’s end and the doors opened, revealing a stunning sight of luxurious living and busy crew members greeting them with polite smiles and nods, Donatella, Behring’s assistant, ushering them to follow her immediately, her Louboutins clacking on the polished floor as she gracefully hurried down the corridor.

“Seems that Behring’s mind has conjured up something very special for today,” Erwin mumbled to Levi, offering a grin when the smaller man looked up to him, “whenever Franz has a brilliant idea, he can’t suppress holding it in and wants to share it with his protagonists as soon as possible to start working as fast as possible.”

“Yeah, he’s passionate, all right…” Levi answered, reciprocating the grin – and he was pretty sure that he was pretty good at that moment at concealing his nervousness that just wouldn’t subside.

“That’s what I really admire about him,” said Erwin, smiling at Levi once more. And Levi shuddered. Because Erwin was right next to him, in the flesh, and he was nice, and polite and charming. And hot.

And Levi was losing it.  
And he needed to be professional.  
And he tried to kick himself in his cute little ass so hard to finally start acting accordingly.

Behring was waiting for them in the office of the penthouse, waltzing up and down along the long lines of big windows overlooking the city. As soon as he spotted them entering through the opened door, he practically ran over to the group. “Ah, so wonderful to see you all! Erwin, my darling, you look fantastic today!”

“Franz, lovely to be meeting with you today,” Erwin greeted his long-term companion.

“Hange, Moblit,” the man in his early fifties, dressed in a black suit, addressed the managers after exchanging greetings with everyone present, “I want to speak with you first. Erwin, Levi, would you be so kind and wait in front of the door until I call you back in?”

Erwin’s brows furrowed in slight confusion and Levi swore that suddenly the room was filled with a very particular form of tension. One that made the little hairs on the back of his head stand up. “Of course, Franz,” the blond said, looking over at Levi, as if waiting for the younger man to follow him outside – and Levi did. His body moving on its own volition.

Levi closed the door behind them, and Erwin leaned against the wall. “That’s odd,” he commented, his head turning to Levi, who had even less of an idea what was going on.

“Maybe he needs to talk about money?” Levi supplied and Erwin shook his head.

“No, Franz never talks about money, at least not at the day of the shooting, and he wouldn’t change his mind about what he offers to pay, he’s fair. Always has been,” the blond answered and Levi nodded.

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“Anyway,” Erwin said, offering his smaller co-actor another one of those beautiful smiles, “Behring filmed your debut. I really liked that.”

“Oh yeah?” Levi heard himself reply, his voice raspy, thoughts wandering back in time to the first moments in front of the camera, being topped by a guy who looked similar to Erwin – big, blond, beautiful. Similar, yes, but nothing compared to the real deal now standing right in front of him, hands buried casually in the pockets of his jeans.

“Yeah, you’re a natural. I love all of your expressions and the way you move. It’s… sexy…”

There was a lump forming in Levi’s throat and his mind started to pull up random images from all of Erwin’s films, putting himself in place of his partners, imagining what it would feel like having Erwin pin him down, push his cock into his ass, pound him senseless and...

“Thank you…” was all he managed to mumble in response. “I also like the way you move…”

“Thank you,” Erwin responded and both men fell quiet afterwards, “I really believe that… we’ll be compatible,” the blond then suddenly added – and another rush of heat spread across Levi's cheeks, the images in his mind only intensifying.

“I’ll give it my very best,” he stated, looking into Erwin’s eyes, educing another one of the man’s charming smiles.

And then suddenly the door burst open and Hange burst outside, completely excited. Before they could open their mouth, Franz called for Erwin to enter the room. And before the blond pushed himself off the wall and went inside, he winked at Levi – and the latter’s heart fluttered, and he managed to smile at the man who was about to fuck his brains out in front of at least twenty other people and three cameras.

A second after the door to the office closed again, Hange jumped Levi, grabbing the man’s shoulders, their extremely excited face right I front of Levi’s, eyes wide, mouth twisted into a maniacal smile. “What the fuck, Hange?” Levi hissed, trying to free himself out of his manager’s weird grasp.

And then Hange blurted it out.

“You’re going to _top_ Erwin Smith!”

Levi blinked.

“…what?”

And the world stood still.


	2. Setting sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was and still am completely overwhelmed by all the responses I have received on the first chapter of this fic and I wanted to thank everyone (!) who commented on it here as well as on Twitter - I have read your reviews at least like ten times already and I will try to respond to them as soon as I can. You really made my day and painted a smile onto my face - you guys are freaking awesome. THANK YOU! Also: I am officially giving up on trying to write short chapters. Enjoy the upcoming 8.300 (teasing) words. And tell me what you think, if you feel like it - your words are always appreciated!

It was true.

Erwin Smith was well-known for his fantastic stamina, his beauty enhanced by his age as well as his delectable, thick cock. But there was one more thing defining the man, so evident, so undeniable, that it didn’t even have to be mentioned anymore – because everybody knew.

Everybody knew that Erwin Smith was a top.  
Everybody knew that he had always _been_ one.  
That Erwin Smith would always _be_ a top.

Or at least, that's what Levi had firmly believed in.

Until now.

His head was swimming, his manager’s voice still ringing in his ears as if he’d just witnessed an explosion right next to him, the cells of his brain trying to analyse and break down the true meaning behind Hange’s words.

_ ‘You’re going to_ top _Erwin Smith!’ _

“What?” he repeated, after the brunette, their hands still placed firmly around his shoulders, had just nodded enthusiastically, grinning like a madman planning to take over the world or commit mass murder for an alleged greater cause. “I’m going to _what_?!” Levi snapped, still not fully comprehending what was going on.

Hange giggled, now literally shaking Levi, their voice shrill and high-pitched but breathless, too, because at the same time it was also somewhat hushed, probably in order to not to draw too much attention to their conversation, as the manager repeated their words in a crazy and hauntingly off-key murmured sing-song. “_You_ are going to _fuuuuck_ Erwin Smith _in the ass_...! You, my friend, are going to be the _first man_ to _ever_ top the guy in front of a camera... DO. YOU. KNOW. HOW. FUCKING. HUGE. THIS. IS. LEVI?!”

Hange finally let go off him, their hands raking into their own hair instead, pulling at the strands as if in distress, suppressing an enthusiastic outcry, while arching their back, their voice now coming out as a weird mixture between a groan and hiss through their clenched teeth. “Sweet lord!” Hange’s eyes were wide and their mouth twisted into a psychotic grin. “This is fucking epic, Levi! It’s your first role as a top – and you get to fuck Erwin Smith. This is the _best day_ of my life! This should be the best day of YOUR life!” 

And maybe Hange was right. Maybe Levi should have freaked out like Hange had. Maybe he should have rejoiced, jumping up and down or running around the broad and light hallway like a dog in heat, unable to contain his bubbling emotions.

But he was too stunned to do any of that. Too shocked to feel anything resembling any kind of happiness. Levi was dumfounded. Because he simply didn’t get it.

“But why?” he finally asked, his thin, dark brows furrowing, the small head shaking automatically in what one could call disbelief. And that’s the moment Hange sobered up, straightening their back and taking a step closer to Levi, their right hand finding its way back to Levi’s shoulder, mouth coming closer to Levi’s ear, their eyes scanning the corridor for unwanted company before they explained in a quiet voice:

“Because Behring is bored of Erwin.”

“WHAT?!” Levi now full on screamed, his composure totally slipping, and Hange quickly covered his mouth with their hand, shushing him successfully. “...what?!” Levi repeated in a harsh whisper when his manager let go of him. “How the fuck can you be _bored_ of Erwin Smith?!”

Hange grimaced. “Maybe _bored_ is the wrong word here,” they admitted.

“No shit!” hissed Levi, his heart beating treacherously in his chest. “So spill it, shitty glasses: what the fuck just happened in there? And what the fuck is happening in that room _right now_? Why am I suddenly supposed to be the top here? What the fuck is going on?”

“_Nawww_, you were really looking forward to Erwin ploughing your ass, and now you’re pissed it ain’t gonna happen, huh?” Hange teased him and he punched their fucking shoulder. Hard. “Ow! What—“

“Spill it!” he cut them off, voice sterner and darker than intended. But he was losing patience, wanting to finally know what the hell was going on and _why_.

“All right, all right, calm down, honey,” Hange tried talking to him soothingly, but he just glared at them and the brunette raised their hands in the air in a defensive way. “Okay, okay,” they mumbled, giving in, “so, you know that Erwin has been in this industry for sixteen years…”

“Who the fuck doesn’t?”

“Yeah, well, true. But you also know that sixteen years is a long-ass time and with 35, well… He’s not the youngest anymore.”

“Don’t try to fucking tell me Behring thinks he’s too old for this shit,” Levi protested folding his hands in front of his chest, “there are guys _way_ older than him still acting, fucking granddads screwing each other, or fucking dorky twinks with their shrivelled dicks who keep calling them daddy. And what the fuck has this got to do with us suddenly switching positions anyway? You’re not making any sense, shit goggles!”

“…and you are way too impatient. If you would just _listen_ to me and let me carry on explaining, then it would all _start_ making sense to you…” Hange remarked, giving Levi one of their colder and lecturing smiles, and the raven sighed.

“Okay. Fine. Go on. I’m listening.”

“Okay. So: you’re right, there are guys way older than Erwin still active and successful. _But_,” Hange stressed, raising their finger way too high in the air for emphasis which made Levi roll his eyes – but he didn’t comment on that. Instead, he kept his promise and listened, letting his friend and manager get on with their elaboration. “Those guys changed some major elements during their career. Look at Nile Dok for example. He started off playing those roles of that typical ridiculous straight guy who suddenly discovers his taste for ass and lets himself be seduced in those horribly unrealistic, but very hot, scenarios to fuck all those men coming onto him and persuading him to let go because in the end a hole is a hole. Anyways,” Hange waved their hand dismissively, “after that he started mixing this up by bottoming in a lot of threesome movies totally popular at that time, and a few years after _that_ he got involved in the BDSM scene, appearing as a slave for nearly a decade, going extremely bizarre with dog costumes and other crazy shit in the end, and look at him now: At 48 he’s your typical muscled Dom type fucking up old, middle-aged as well as very young cocks and asses with paddles, whips and his own fucking dick. Do you see how versatile his roles and thus his career is? What different kinds of audiences he’s pleased during all his 27 years in this field and is still pleasing right now?”

Levi felt himself nodding. “Yeah…”

“And now tell me,” Hange made a pause, looking Levi straight in the eyes, “do you know who Flagon Mueller is?”

“Who?”

“Exactly!” Hange clapped their hands at that. “Big fucking player in the 80s. Was fucking guys real hardcore when you were still shitting your diapers, kiddo.”

“Fuck, I told you not to call me that!” Levi protested, the image of his uncle Kenny flashing across his mind.

“Oops, sorry, my bad,” Hange apologized and smiled in the same fashion. Levi sighed. 

“So what about this Flagon guy?”

“Right,” Hange got right back into it, “Flagon was a real superstar, kinda like Erwin is now. Considered extremely hot at that time, big dick, great body and shit. He was good in shape, could fuck like a beast. And that went well for a very long period of time, true. Until people just… I don’t know. Forgot about him. Because new stars, younger men, were appearing on the horizon, other practices started being popular and were requested by the horny audiences and Flagon just simply didn’t adapt. He lost his followers, or rather they lost interest in him and his, well, old-fashioned and unchanged ways. He’s still shooting movies, amateur crap – just nobody really knows about them except for a few of his hardcore fans, who are probably just too old to switch to something new. Cause major production companies won’t work with him anymore. He’s too boring, won’t try out new things,” Hange said and made another pause, after which they looked Levi once more straight in the eyes. “And now tell me,” they continued in a low voice. “Does Erwin seem more of a Nile Dok to you – or is he more of a Flagon Mueller?”

“Don’t fucking compare Erwin to that shitbeard Nile, he’s disgusting and Erwin’s fucking hot and you know it!” he hissed, but Hange just smirked.

“But this isn’t about looks, Levi, and _you_ know _that_,” they stated calmly, and Levi bit his lips. Because, yes: Hange was right. And he kinda knew where his manager was going with this. “Erwin’s been doing the same thing for sixteen years: simply fucking guys. Yeah, he films orgies and all that harem crap – but that’s the only change of scenery he’s ever done. And maybe it’s still working now, but—”

“He has a fucking huge-ass fanbase,” Levi interjected resolutely, somewhat astonished at how protective he was acting. But then again: This was Erwin Smith, his idol, his first crush, his only crush and – shit. “I mean,” he continued, in order not to dwell on this thought any longer than necessary, “you’ve seen how people went crazy about the news of our shoot, the likes, and comments and whatnot. He’s the big deal. You said so yourself. He’s a legend. You went nuts yourself when I was given the chance to film with him.”

“I know,” Hange agreed, “and as I was saying: it is still working now. But in five or six years? Maybe it won’t work _at all_ anymore. Erwin doesn’t do BDSM, he doesn’t do _any_ kind of fetishes, he doesn’t do bisexual shootings, and the most important thing is: he doesn’t bottom. He doesn’t even suck dick that often. He is not versatile. Being a good top might have worked all those years but, as Behring put it himself: Erwin has reached his limit, because he doesn’t use _all_ of his potential. It’s wasted. And people will get bored at some point, especially the new and younger generation of viewers.”

“Behring said _that_? To his _muse_? To the man he discovered and whose participation allowed that fucker to make such great, award-winning movies?” Levi snapped, incredulously. And Hange nodded slowly, grimacing.

“Yes. He said _just that_,” they confirmed, and the two of them grew quiet, Levi’s brain working at full speed, contradicting emotions dwelling in his chest.

“And what did Erwin’s manager, that Moblit guy, say to that?”

“He agreed.”

“What?!”

“Listen, dude,” Hange said, sounding even more serious, albeit also extremely emotional right now, “if you were in Erwin’s position, I would also agree with Behring. Because Behring is right. And also, that guy really cares about Erwin and doesn’t want his career to come to a Flagon-end. That’s why he said that. He’s really just being honest. And that’s why he decided to have Erwin bottom today. To save him, get him a new audience and win people back who have already started losing interest or who would soon do just that.”

“And what if Erwin doesn’t agree to this? I mean,” Levi snorted, “we both came here not knowing shit about this. Big motherfucking surprise, that one…”

“Oh, he _will_ agree,” Hange answered, sounding sure, but also a bit wistful.

“And how do you know that, since the guy only went inside just now to speak with Behring…?!”

Hange sighed at that. “Because Behring told me and Moblit that he’ll give him an ultimatum.”

“An ultimatum?” Levi echoed dryly.

“Yes. Either, he bottoms today – or Behring isn’t going to shoot with him anymore. And you know that would practically mean the end of his career. Because if Behring fires him, the other directors of _W.D. productions_ and the other major companies won’t want to work with him either.”

Levi’s brained needed a few second to digest this new piece of information that, unfortunately, sounded just about legit. And when it did, a deep kind of rage engulfed him which he hadn’t felt for years. “That fucking piece of white gay trash is basically blackmailing him! I thought Behring was Erwin’s long-term companion and friend! What a fucking dick!”

Hange sighed again, their smile somewhat sad. “For one: Behring’s intentions are good, and to me it seems that Moblit had tried to persuade Erwin of this step before, unsuccessfully, and that guy only wants the best for his actor. And for two: This business isn’t about cute unicorns and rainbows and you know it. We’ve had this discussion like a thousand times before you started shooting pornos. Remember? I wanted you to be aware of the harsh conditions of this industry before you chose a career leading down this path. That’s why I’m with you in this, to protect you, but also to ensure you’re successful – which is somewhat of a protection as well. And, as I said, that’s exactly what Moblit’s doing, too. By now persuading Erwin not do pull some dumb shit and end it all just because he doesn’t want a cock to be shoved up his ass. You do it all the time and you _love_ it.”

“Yeah, whatever…” Levi mumbled, his mind still occupied with everything he had just gotten to know.

“You know,” Hange continued, “after this shoot I was actually going to talk to you about starting to top, anyway.”

Levi looked at his manager. “For real?” he asked.

Hange nodded. “Yeah. Because of those Flagon reasons. I mean, you’re a great bottom and you should continue to spread your ass for all those wet cocks and get it filled up with steaming cum. But I also thought it would be clever to boost your career by expanding your fields of activities and making you… well, fuck other people’s assholes, too.”

“You are so fucking eloquent,” Levi taunted and Hange rolled their eyes.

“We are working in the bloody _porn_ industry, Levi, there is nothing to be eloquent about,” they reminded him, grinning, and Levi reciprocated with a slight smirk.

“I guess you’re right about that…”

“I wanted to wait with this proposition after this shoot because of the fame after filming with Erwin Smith. And also because I was sure Behring wouldn’t agree with letting _you_ top Erwin. I was sure that if that _ever_ happened, Erwin bottoming, Behring or any other of the directors would’ve chosen somebody else, someone bigger, and who’s better-known than you.”

“Now you’re just hurting my feelings,” Levi scoffed and Hange nearly jumped up in surprise.

“Really?” they asked, bewildered, and Levi rolled his eyes.

“I’m only fucking with you,” he assured, smirking, and Hange relaxed.

“…and in a few hours you’ll be fucking Erwin Smith,” they then deadpanned and Levi bit his lips.

“Yeah…” he said. “Shit. Fuck. You think…”

Levi couldn’t finish his trail of thought, because the door in front of them opened, and out looked Franz Behring. He was smiling politely at the two of them. “Please come in,” he told them, stepping aside and making room for Hange and Levi to slip back into the office, “I want to discuss the details about today’s shooting and I want to get those cameras rolling as soon as possible, all right?” he stated.

And that meant that Erwin had indeed agreed to bottom. 

And as this realisation started to sink in, Levi’s knees grew weak and he suddenly felt as if they consisted of sweet jelly. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he tried to manoeuvre his body over to the empty two chairs they were supposed to take a seat in. And fuck, he was so tense and nervous, his hands started trembling as he braced himself for this new confrontation with Erwin in this new reality.

He needed a few seconds, only dared to turn his head and raise his gaze when he was safely seated – and he immediately froze and tensed up even more. For Erwin wasn’t looking at him at all. He wasn’t looking at anybody, in fact, his gaze strictly stuck to the floor, his broad arms crossed tightly over his broad chest, body as hard as stone, his face expressionless. And when Erwin stayed in that posture and didn’t even raise his eyes when Behring addressed him, only muttered monosyllabic responses, and grunted when Moblit spoke to him, Levi understood what was happening – and a very dark and very heavy feeling of dread overcame him and made unpleasant shivers chase down his spine.

Erwin might have agreed to bottom – but he wasn’t happy about it.

No. Screw that.

Erwin was _forced_ to agree to bottom. _And_ he wasn’t happy about it.

_At all. _

And the hairs on the back of Levi’s neck started standing up like plants reaching out for the morning sun, as a feeling of terror started to spread through all the veins in his body, brought along by another very dark and very uncomfortable realisation seeping into the crevices of his brain, eating its way to Levi’s heart and soul.

Erwin hated this. 

And thus, he would hate _Levi_. 

Because ultimately, he was the one who had to fuck Erwin. He was the one who had to push his dick into Erwin’s ass. He was the one who ultimately had to claim Erwin’s body in a way which the blond man did not desire it to be claimed in front of the cameras.

Suddenly, fragments of all those interviews with Erwin that Levi had read over the years started coming back to him. The way the man had always bypassed the matter of bottoming – and Levi recalled one particular statement made by the blond in which he had even said that he could think of no co-actor at all whom he would like to have sex with in _that_ way, even though he highly respected his colleagues and was a fan of their work.

And now he was stuck with Levi. A newbie. Nine years his junior. And they’d only just met.

_Fucking perfect. _

Levi wanted to scream out all of his frustrations which were starting to suffocate him. He had been looking forward to this shoot for weeks now. And now it was ruined. And it didn’t matter that at the back of his mind the thought of fucking Erwin somehow aroused him. For the bitter reality was: Erwin didn’t _want_ this and wouldn’t have _fun_. And… 

And he’d fucking hate Levi afterwards and never talk to him again.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

“Are you okay, Levi?” Behring suddenly asked and the raven only then realised that he had squeezed his eyes tightly and his hands were forming fists. He instantly told his body to relax.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m just… extremely nervous,” he answered, smiling politely.

Behring chuckled, as did Hange and Moblit. Only Erwin didn’t react at all, didn’t even lift his head, didn’t even flinch, continued to stare at the floor or his feet, maybe even the feet of the wood of the desk in front of them, Moblit taking up the chair between him and Levi. And somehow Levi was very glad because of that. Because of that forced distance. Because sitting right next to Erwin in this kind of situation would have made it even more awkward than it already was. “You don’t have to be nervous at all, Levi,” the direction spoke to him in a calm voice. “You’ve come a long way since I shot the first movie with you. And I’m very happy I will also be the first to film you top.”

“We’re also very happy about that!” Hange answered instead of Levi – and the young porn star was also glad because of that, now merely nodding; and not daring to look into Erwin’s direction. The tension in the room was… nearly unbearable.

“Okay, so the scenario is clear to everyone?” Behring asked, wanting to make sure everybody understood what he had just explained to them. The main plot being that Erwin and Levi were pilot and co-pilot just coming in from a big tour from overseas, having a few nights to themselves before jetting off again to some nice destination on the planet. And that little time they had to rest between flights, they would spend fucking each other’s brains out. The most important part of the story consisting of Erwin having lost a bet; a fateful gamble that would now lead to the man handing his ass over to his co-pilot Levi, who, in turn, would take advantage of that to the max and somewhat take revenge on his co-worker. Doing lots of the dirty and perverted stuff the blond pilot had allegedly done to him during previous encounters, which Levi was to comment on during the performances and thus bring the back story across to the viewers.

“All right,” Behring closed after everyone had voiced their affirmative, Erwin’s ‘yeah’ sounding somewhat broken and weak. “Erwin darling, I’ll let Donatella bring you the enema and lube kit in a bit, you can use the last room on the right to prepare yourself, it has an adjacent bathroom where you’ll have your privacy, all right?”

“Yeah,” Erwin now grunted, arms still firmly folded over his chest, eyes locked onto the floor.

“Fine,” Behring closed their little meeting, “than let’s get this started, everyone.”

As soon as those words had left his mouth, Erwin stood up, his chair scraping loudly across the floor, nearly tumbling over, turned on his heel and practically stomped out of the room.

“Excuse me,” Moblit mumbled offering the others an apologetic smile, before storming off as well, following the blond man who had already marched down the hall.

Hange and Levi exchanged an intense set of looks (with the subtext of _‘oh crap, this is bad’_) before they followed Behring out of the room, the man already giving Donatella and the others precise instructions.

“That was fucking awkward. I did not expect that,” Hange whispered once they had positioned themselves at the back of the spacious open kitchen, the massive cooking island covered by fresh fruit, sandwiches and other snacks as well as non-alcoholic beverages and they had exchanged their hellos with the crew members.

Levi scoffed. “You’re really surprised?!” he hissed. “Erwin’s being _forced_ to do this. He fucking hates it. And I don’t even blame him. Behring put a fucking knife to his throat. Fucking hell of a friend that is.”

“As I said: this business is hard, and Erwin knows this, or should know after being a part of it for sixteen bloody years. He’ll fucking have to get over it, that little diva,” Hange commented somewhat sharply – and both of them nearly jumped up in surprise when someone suddenly started laughing lightly and somewhat uncomfortably right next to them. Moblit had appeared from out of freaking nowhere – and Levi would have laughed at Hange’s ‘frozen bunny’-expression, if it wasn’t so awkward and uncomfortable being caught by Erwin’s manager in the middle of practically gossiping about the actor.

“You're right,” Moblit said, smiling lightly embarrassed while scratching the back of his head, “Erwin’s indeed acting like a diva right now, and I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about it. He always does when things don’t go his way.”

“Oh, no, no, no – it’s totally all right, Moblit,” Hange started rumbling and laughing nervously, obviously feeling very ashamed at being caught calling Erwin a diva, all those rumours Levi had heard about the blond confirming themselves in a way now.

“I totally understand he's pissed,” assured Levi nonetheless, scoffing, because it was the truth, and Moblit’s smile grew even softer when the man looked at him after that.

“Levi,” he addressed him, tone extremely polite, “may I speak with you in private for a few minutes? Would that be okay?” he asked, his gaze wandering shortly over to Hange, who exchanged another round of looks with Levi and then shrugged.

“Levi is a grown man,” they answered, “he can do whatever he wants.”

“That's very kind of you,” Moblit replied, turning back to Levi. “Would you mind following me?”

“Sure, no problem.”

Moblit led him away from the main room, and Levi’s throat went tight when his gaze grazed over the enormous bed, the size of two double beds, where he was sure an orgy had already been filmed, thinking of how he was going to fuck Erwin on those satin sheets in just a short period of time. 

The blond porn star’s manager finally brought him to the second balcony of the penthouse at the other side of the building, where not a single crew member was around. They were alone, and Levi was wondering what Moblit wanted to tell him – obviously in secret. Nervousness crept around the corner as the man, probably Erwin’s age, maybe even a bit older than the blond, faced him and offered another one of those gentle smiles. “Levi, thank you for speaking with me,” he started.

“Uh, sure…” Levi mumbled leaning against the balustrade. “What’s on your mind?”

Moblit sighed and also leaned against the balustrade, taking a long look at the city’s panorama. “I’m sure Erwin wouldn’t want you to know this, and I feel bad going behind his back. But. I would feel even worse, if I _didn’t_ tell you.”

Levi swallowed dryly, not really comprehending why he was feeling dizzy. “…tell me what?” he heard himself asking, his mind so blank, he couldn’t even come up with possible scenarios.

“It’s his first time,” Moblit stated – and Levi blinked.

“Um, _yeah_…?” he then mumbled, irritated and scoffing. “I know that it’s the first time he’s gonna bottom, everybody fucking knows that. We’ve all seen his movies, we all know of his career, all right.”

“No, you don’t seem to understand,” Moblit pressed, coming even closer, looking briefly towards the door leading onto the balcony, before locking eyes with Levi again. “He’s never bottomed.”

“Jesus, I fucking know that! You just told me. What the hell is wrong with you?” Levi hissed, even more irritated at the dumbness of this man – and his reaction somehow made Moblit lose his angelic patience as well as façade. 

“You fucking brat!” he spat. “What I’m trying to tell you is that Erwin has _never_ bottomed _before_. Not _only_ in front of the camera. Like… He’s a fucking ass-virgin, all right?”

One second passed. Levi blinked.  
Two seconds passed. Levi blinked again.  
Three more seconds passed. Levi blinked _again. _

“…oh…” it then escaped his mouth as he finally understood “Oh…” he repeated as Moblit’s words _really_ started to sink in. “Oh…!” he huffed out once more, his knees going weak again – and he was so glad that there was a comfortable, padded chair right next to him on which he could just let himself fall down, Moblit mimicking his actions and also taking a seat in a similar piece of furniture opposite of Levi. “Shit…” the raven-haired mumbled, now totally overwhelmed by all those thoughts and feelings clouding his mind and filling up his chest and tummy.

Levi was not only going to be the first guy to top Erwin Smith wile filming.

He was the first guy to _ever_ top Erwin Smith.

And that sort of experience was something – so Levi firmly believed – that should not be happening in front of cameras, thinking of his own first time, how disastrous it had been, how shameful, despite only two people (who had known each other well!) being involved, and how much time he had actually needed to get to know his own body in the right way which enabled him to communicate his wants and needs to his partners to actually finally _enjoy_ the experience of anal sex at the receiving end.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

And then a wave of anger rolled over him and he glared at Moblit. “Then why the fuck are you letting Erwin do this?!” he hissed and Moblit sighed, his face stern, when he leaned forward and answered in a low voice.

“Because he doesn’t have a choice right now and you know it. Because I am sure Hange told you all about our little talk with Behring. And I am going to tell you one more thing: I have tried so many times to get him to bottom, to try it out in private first and then take it to the screen, but that idiot wouldn’t listen, and now here we fucking are,” he disclosed, and all Levi could think of was the fact that _Hange had been right_. “And it’s either spreading his ass for you today, or basically throwing all of his work down the gutter,” Moblit continued, “so this isn’t about me letting Erwin do this or not. He chose wisely, he chose his career. And I support this.”

“Then what _is_ this about? Why are you fucking telling me all of this?!” Levi’s mind was spinning once again.

Moblit didn’t answer straightaway. Instead, he sighed, long and wholeheartedly, and the whole of his aura changed back into that sweet, innocent man he had been before losing his patience in the middle of this awkward conversation. “Because I care about Erwin and as much as I am cross with him for not taking my advice, I don’t want him to get hurt,” he disclosed, sounding honest, sounding worried, “and I believe that now, that you know of his _status_, you will treat him differently. Being more… careful… And slow… Right?”

Levi opened his mouth to reiterate. But no sound came out. Because… Because his chest was aching really badly, and there were so many confusing thoughts haunting his mind, and his skin was tingling, and all he could see was Erwin’s gentle and gorgeous smile the man had given him a glimpse of during the elevator ride. And it… And it hurt. And it angered him. And it made him go nuts.

“We can’t do this,” he finally said. “We can’t do this!” he repeated, this time more firmly, getting up.

Moblit also sprang back to his feet, a look of terror on his face. “You can’t cancel this, Levi! You would screw up your own career – _and_ Erwin’s! I know you probably mean well. But… You can’t.”

Levi froze.

Even though he was fuming, there was a rational voice at the back of his mind telling him that Erwin’s manager was right. Levi knew. Moblit had spoken the truth. He couldn’t cancel this shoot. And so his mind raced. And he found a solution. A somewhat risky one, but what had Hange said? This business wasn’t about unicorns and other fluffy sweet candy shit, right? So he might as well push his luck.

“I know,” he thus told Moblit, “I need to speak to Behring anyhow.”

“And what the hell are you gonna tell him? You have to keep what I told you a secret, Levi. Erwin’s gonna kill me otherwise – and Behring doesn’t know about this. Don’t you fucking dare tell him. Or Hange. I trusted you here. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I know!” he hissed, looking Moblit deep in the eyes. “I’m not gonna spill the beans. And knowing that Behring doesn’t know about this little dirty secret of Erwin’s actually calms me down a little. At least he isn’t _that_ big of an asshole. Because if he knew and still forced Erwin to go through with this, he would be a major dick. And now please excuse me, I need to find that piece of fuck-director.”

“…but what do you want to achieve?”

“We’ll see,” Levi mumbled, leaving a baffled and Moblit behind, marching straight through the penthouse, nearly grabbing Behring who was talking to one of his camera guys in the main bedroom to drag him back into that office, Hange staring at him with an open mouth, but knowing Levi well enough to see that this was not the time for them to intervene. And so they stayed behind, their face pulled into a worried expression similar to Moblit’s.

“What is it, Levi?” Behring said, as the two men sat down – and Levi started to lie.

He lied like a fucking bastard.  
He made up utter pathetic crap that made his ears burn.  
He even managed to tear up a little, knowing that Behring had a soft spot for young men like him looking for acceptance and guidance.  
Behring listened to him.

Behring _gave in_.

And when he even pulled out a bottle of whisky – Erwin’s favourite, as the man told him – and filled two glasses with the beverage, Levi was almost dumbfounded at how easy this shit had been.

“Okay, you go tell Erwin, I’ll get everything ready. And Levi, take your time,” Behring told him, squeezing his shoulder a little too long, making Levi remember all the rumours about this guy – how he liked sleeping with rising stars, surrounded himself with younger sex slaves and fucked some of the staff after shooting his famous films, only to return to his loving husbands afterwards playing house. 

As much as he enjoyed making porn: this industry was fucked. Pun intended.

He needed a moment after he’d left the office, balancing the two glasses of whisky in one hand, filling his lungs with fresh air and trying to steady his body at least a little bit, which had started trembling again the closer he got to Erwin. Until there was only the door left separating them.

The dark-haired closed his eyes for a few seconds, mumbling low and unintelligible words of encouragement to himself, before he cursed under his breath and knocked, destroying any possible path of escape from this situation – because the thought of just downing the two glasses of whiskey by himself and running off had indeed crossed his mind briefly.

For a few seconds, nothing happened, and Levi wondered whether Erwin had already locked himself in the bathroom, preparing his enema and—

“Come in,” the blond star’s voice suddenly called from the other side of the thick wood, and Levi took another deep breath before pushing down the handle and the door open, merely sticking his head in, looking inside without really entering yet.

Erwin was sitting at the edge of the queen sized bed, bent forward, forearms resting on his massive thighs. Levi was sure the man had been staring expressionlessly at the floor until just now, like he had done in the office after receiving the news of having to bottom from Behring himself. Now, as Levi’s voice was carried through the room, the blond man lifted his head instinctively, following the sound – and they finally locked eyes again.

Levi didn’t know whether he could call Erwin’s facial expression surprised or anxious, or maybe even none of that. He could only say that it made him afraid that Erwin would sent him away again – so he held out his hand holding onto the beverages. “I brought you a glass of your favourite whisky,” he quickly blurted out and watched Erwin’s gaze shift to the alcohol, Levi’s heart beating a little quicker in his chest, as he saw something flicker across his co-star’s face that made his massive brow unfurrow.

But then Erwin huffed out what sounded like a short and indignant laugh, lowering his head a little and thus averting his gaze again, and a cold shiver crept up Levi’s spine. He was sure Erwin would now insult him and tell him to fuck off.

But Levi was wrong.

Only after a second, Erwin looked at him again – and smiled. It wasn’t that gorgeous radiant smile the man had offered him before. It was lacking its original energy and one could’ve described it as having a little bit of a sad twist to it. But it was a smile nonetheless. And: Erwin was looking him straight in the eyes, as he finally spoke to him again.

“Come in, Levi.”

And Levi did, closing the door behind himself, crossing the room, walking right towards Erwin – and as he passed him one of the glasses, their fingers touched and Levi swore he felt electric sparkles travelling up his whole arm, unloading in the middle of his chest.

Erwin shifted on the bed, now leaning against the broad and padded headboard. And the man’s sudden very calm and very soft words took Levi, still standing unsurely at the edge of it, by surprise.

“I'm sorry,” Erwin said, once more looking deep into Levi’s eyes, smiling faintly. Apologetically. “I was acting very rude just now. Unprofessional. And I really feel bad about it. I’m... I think if things don’t go the way I expect them to, I turn into a jerk and starting acting like a moody teenager,” Erwin continued, confirming Moblit’s explanation, though the man didn’t use the term diva like his manager had. It made Levi smile a little. “Please accept my apology,” Erwin added, sounding sincere, smiling in the same fashion at Levi, and his handsome face was so soft at that moment that Levi had to suppress the urge to grab his phone and take a picture of the man.

“Don’t worry about it,” he replied, reciprocating Erwin’s smile, sure that he was blushing again, despising himself for it, but he couldn’t help it, could he? “Um,” Levi then mumbled, feeling stupid about standing uselessly in the room, pointing to the bed, “m-may I sit down?” he pushed his luck. And he was glad he did.

“Of course,” the blond replied, “no need to be shy. I mean... we’re gonna have sex in just a bit. Probably for a few hours. In various positions. So... might as well share a bed this innocently,” he added, lips twisting into his usual somewhat cheeky grin, and Levi’s heart fluttered, relief flooding his chest at Erwin’s sudden relaxed joking. “Cheers, Levi,” the blond man said, holding out his glass, clinking it with Levi’s, who couldn’t help but observe Erwin take a huge sip of the alcohol, his beautiful blue eyes closing for just a few seconds, a pleased, deep groan leaving his throat, that made Levi shudder. “This is so good,” the blond mumbled, which caused Levi to finally taste the beverage as well.

“True,” he agreed, the whisky warming up his belly from the inside.

Erwin was looking at him again and the raven-haired reciprocated his gaze. “Thank you for this,” Erwin said gently, lifting his glass slightly for emphasis, “got it from Franz?”

Slight nervousness overcame Levi again as he had to break some more news to Erwin. And even if he knew that he meant well with all of this and they were, per se, good, they were still not great; because for one, Levi now knew of a very intimate secret of Erwin and two, he had basically meddled in his affairs – and he was scared that Erwin would find out and focus on those two points. 

Levi bit his slips before finding the courage to open his mouth.

“Yeah,” Levi answered, “I just had an, um, longer conversation with him.”

“About what?” Erwin asked curiously.

Levi took another sip of whisky to calm his nerves. “Behring just changed the scenario,” he then finally blurted out, and cringed as he witnessed Erwin’s brows raise, giving the man a very sceptical and somewhat grim look.

“What now?” he enquired, sounding bugged or tired – or both.

“Um, I’m still supposed to be the top, but, um... we’re not doing that pilot thing anymore.”

“…oh?” it came interested from Erwin, who was waiting for Levi to elaborate. And the raven did. Even though he needed to kick himself in the butt to bring out the following words, the actual news.

“Yeah, we’re gonna be… newlyweds.”

Erwin froze, staring at Levi, whose little hairs on his skin started to stand up erect. “Newlyweds?” the blond repeated the word.

“Yes...” Levi said, failing in smiling gently at Erwin. “Behring decided that this would be more... intimate. So... um, the story is this: We just got married and we’re starting our honeymoon in this wonderful penthouse. Behring wants it slow and sensual... A lot of kissing, true romance, gentle sex, um – you get the point.”

Levi took another sip of his whisky. A big one. Praying that Erwin would not freak out because of that, because this was way better than that stupid kinky pilot shit – considering he was to take Erwin’s anal virginity…

“Newlyweds…” Erwin echoed, tilting his head – and then the man chuckled. “How odd…” he commented, his eyes locking with Levi’s again, and the latter tried smiling again, which worked out a _little_ better than it had done before.

“Yeah, um… Also, to make it even more, um, intimate and to get us into the right mood, Behring is sending like half the staff home, so… Um, it’s only going to be him, one guy for the lighting and just one camera guy, Jimmy. You know him well, right?”

“Behring’s favourite, yeah,” Erwin responded, looking at the whisky in his hand. “Newlyweds…” he repeated, shaking his head. “This is getting even more bizarre.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Levi said – not disclosing his true reasons for feeling this way. But it didn’t matter, because when they looked at each other again, Erwin smiled this wonderful, nice, gentle and soft and handsome smile again, and this certain kind of warmth spread inside of his chest and he knew, Levi just knew that he had done the right thing.

“Well, then I guess your _husband_ should get himself ready now, huh?” Erwin murmured, finishing his whisky and sighing while getting up, looking over to the open door of the bathroom. Levi’s eyes followed his gaze – and he was telling himself to keep his expressions cool, even though he wanted to scream, because Erwin Smith had just referred to himself as _Levi’s husband_ and, fuck, the raven fucking liked the sound of that and he was so pathetic and—

He spotted the enema kit and the big tube of lube as well as the different kinds of dildos laid out. And he remembered that Erwin had never done this before. And he doubted he had watched his co-actors prepare in this way. Sure, he had stretched them with his fingers and fucked them with dildos and vibrators, technically he knew how that functioned – but all of this stuff had been done _after_ the actual preparation. 

Levi, once more, decided to be bold today. “I have a very vital advice for you,” he said, getting up and entering the bathroom first. He picked up the enema kit. It was one of those from the pharmacy, with a certain kind of fluid. Levi screwed open the lid – and poured it out. “Trust me,” he said, turning to Erwin who was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed around his chest, eyebrows raised, “you do _not_ want to use whatever they put inside here – because if you do, you’ll be shitting on this toilet until tomorrow night. I know what the hell I’m talking about…” he added, grinning slightly, and he saw Erwin’s lips twitch up as well, even though there was a glint of uncertainty in the man’s eyes. “Just fill this up with lukewarm water and follow the rest of the instructions on the package and you’ll be just fine,” Levi said, putting the kit back onto the lavish sink.

He picked up the smallest dildo Donatella had prepared for Erwin to use next. “Don’t start with this one,” he said, not looking Erwin into the eyes in order not to unsettle the blond any further, “start with your fingers. They are more flexible and the danger of hurting yourself down there is less when you start the stretching with your own digits. And, um, you know – preparing yourself is not the same as, um, when you do it with the help of somebody else in private, so, um, you gotta be extra careful when you do it alone. Ah, you know what I’m talking about,” he added, waving his hand dismissively, to kind of highlight the fact that he believed that Erwin _had_ had anal sex before – even though that was a lie. But he had to keep up a front, hadn’t he?

“Well, I guess, um, I’m gonna leave you alone now and…” Levi’s voice trailed off, as he wasn’t sure whether he really wanted to say those words occupying his mind out loudly. But then he did anyway, because the urge to do so was bigger than what his brain told him. “I’m sorry you have to bottom,” it poured out of his mouth, “I mean… I am also feeling sorry for myself. Because I was really looking forward to get my ass stuffed with your monster cock.”

In the first second, Erwin didn’t react at all, and Levi rolled his eyes internally and wanted to bang his head against the wall for blurting out something _this_ stupid – but then the man started to laugh. “Did you now?” he teased, still laughing – and that sound of his amused and earnest voice. It was… It was so beautiful. So wonderful in fact, that Levi didn’t care that his cheeks were on fire.

“Yeah,” he admitted, somewhat shamelessly. It was out in the open already anyway, right? “I told you I’m a fan, and all of your fans fantasize about being pounded by you.”

Erwin snickered – and then Levi froze. Because the man just simply took off his t-shirt in one swift motion, revealing his naked and oh so very well trained chest dusted with feather light golden hair. “Is that so?” Erwin questioned, his voice a low rumble of seduction – and Levi merely nodded, screaming at himself internally to stop staring at Erwin’s glorious pectorals. “Well, what a shame it is then that this won’t be happening today…” he added, walking past Levi to fold up his shirt and put it onto the edge of the tub – and Levi couldn’t stop staring at Erwin’s firm ass.

And because blood was drained from his brain, rushing south, and because he was a dumb mess in general, he blurted out the next obscenity. “But I am still _so_ going to gag on your monster cock, despite being the top today.”

Levi froze, as soon as those lewd words left his mouth, and when Erwin turned around, Levi was also caught by him staring at his lower region.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He was acting so unprofessional.  
He was behaving like a fucking brat.  
He was… so _not_ cool.

And Erwin Smith was so not… impressed.

But the man was… laughing again. Sincerely. His voice full of amusement. And then he started walking towards Levi, until he was right in front of him, their bodies nearly touching, Levi once more forced to crane his head in order to look Erwin in the eyes – those big, blue and fucking dreamy eyes. The blond man’s lips were curled into a hybrid of a gentle smile and cheeky grin. “I really like your enthusiasm, Levi,” he breathed, voice low and tantalising, and a million of erotic thoughts raced through Levi’s mind, spurred on by all those memories of Erwin Smith’s porno sequences, “one could start to think you have crush on me…” the blond man added cheekily.

And. Levi. Froze.  
His. Mouth. Gaped. Open.

It was as if someone had pushed the PAUSE button in his head. Or poured water over the electronic command centre in the middle of his brain, causing power outage and pure destruction inside of his mind.

“I-I-I’m… n-n— wh-wha-ha-ha-ha? No, I-I, um, huh? N-n, wh-wha—“ he stammered, not able to form _any_ coherent word, laughing nervously, while starting to walk back, terrified (simply terrified) by the look that had started to show on Erwin’s face, the massive blond brows going up, Erwin’s eyes widening, his beautiful lips twisting upwards into an intense amused grin, smile, smirk, whatever…!

Levi’s back hit the shower door, causing him to jump up in surprise, nearly tripping on the thick bath mat he had stepped onto – and then he nearly choked on his spit as Erwin, closing the distance between them again slowly like a predator, outright asked him: “…do you have a crush on me, Levi?”

Levi thanked the fucking gods (all of them. ALL OF THEM!) that right at this very moment, Hange (bless them, BLESS THEM!) decided to knock on the door, requesting with that nerve-wracking lunatic voice of theirs, if he was in there.

“_Ineedtogo!_” he nearly screamed at Erwin, who was looking at him as if… as if he was fascinated, or maybe just totally astounded by Levi’s embarrassing ways of (not) handling shit. “_Goodluckseeyouinabit!_” he added hurriedly – and then fucking ran out of the room, nearly tripping again, as if he was part of a fucking slapstick movie out of the 1920s. 

He crashed into Hange in the hallway and they nearly lost their balance, shouting out in distress, clinging on to Levi in the very last second who steadied them both and saved them from a fall. “Jesus!” Hange proclaimed loudly. “You nearly killed me… And… _you’re hard, Levi_…” they added, and Levi immediately let go of them, literally jumping back, growling at Hange who had started to giggle. And just as he was to spit vile curses at his manager to shut the hell up, fucking Behring walked by with Donatella at his side, took a short look at Levi and said, pointing to the younger man’s crotch: “Careful with that, boy. We need that boner later” – and then simply walked off talking intensively with his assistant about some accessories he still needed. 

And while Hange cackled, not at all able to contain themselves anymore, Levi wished he could just disappear.

_‘Could this get any worse?’_ he asked himself, rolling his eyes.

He didn’t like the answer to this.

Because it could.

And it did. 

Because of Erwin Smith and his fucking dick.

_…and the man’s ass._


	3. Full moon

“You sure you’re all right?” Hange asked for what felt like the tenth time, maybe even the hundredth, and Levi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Yes,” he answered grimly, like he had done all those times before.

They were sitting out on the balcony – the very one Moblit had shared Erwin’s surprising secret with Levi – while Behring was disclosing to his crew why some of them had to leave the set.

Upon hearing those news, the staff wasn’t as surprised as some might have expected them to be. After all, they had all worked with Behring many times before and the man was known for changing his mind on just as many things right before or even _during_ a shoot. Also, the reasons for cutting down on the number of people present due to the new and very intimate scenario he had come up with for Erwin and Levi were sound. It all made sense. So one after the other the crew members packed up and left. Until there were only the requested few ones left, and the penthouse had suddenly turned almost eerily silent.

“Are you sure—“ Hange started, and Levi snapped.

“I swear to fucking god: If you ask me _one more time_ if I’m okay, I’m going to fucking punch you in the face and break your shitty glasses once and for all!”

Hange closed their mouth. But the quiet only lasted for a few seconds. “Did Erwin upset you?” the manager enquired and something stirred inside of Levi. Something he couldn’t quite pinpoint, but that made him feel the need to protect the blond yet again.

“No,” he thus answered calmly, “Erwin and I are cool.”

“...really?” Hange enquired carefully.

“Yes,” Levi assured, “he even apologized for acting out of order before.”

“Oh. That’s good,” Hange said, more enthusiastically this time, and they actually smiled. “He is a professional after all.”

“Yeah,” Levi agreed, his thoughts immediately wandering back to the most important matter of today’s shoot that he could not, under any circumstances, share with Hange. The fact that this was literally going to be Erwin’s _first time_.

And he felt bad, Levi felt so bad about the fact that somehow, even though he was still angry and appalled about today’s exact circumstances and felt truly sorry for Erwin, somewhere deep inside of him he was actually _looking forward_ to sleeping with him, to being the blond’s _first_ in the backdoor area.

No.  
Levi didn't feel _bad. _  
He actually _hated_ himself for thinking that, for feeling this way. And that’s what Hange saw written all over his face: that self-loathing, expressing itself in a deep scowl.

Levi swore to himself that he would do anything to make this experience as pleasurable as possible for his co-star and idol – and the newlyweds-scenario gave him many possibilities to accomplish just that. Thank fuck Behring had agreed to it. And Levi truly did not care that this despicable man was selling this as his own splendid idea. It didn’t matter.

What mattered was making feel Erwin comfortable.

“You think he’ll be ready soon?” Hange’s voice interrupted Levi’s thoughts.

“Who?”

“Erwin,” the manager specified, “he’s been locked in that bathroom for quite some time now.”

Levi clicked his tongue in an irritated fashion. “Those things take time and you fucking know it.”

“...maybe you should go check on him,” they suggested with impish amusement in their tone, “you know... give Erwin a hand, or rather a _finger_ or two...”

“You are so fucking full of shit,” Levi scoffed getting up and wanting to flee his manager’s dirty sense of humour.

“Erwin definitely _isn’t_ anymore...” Hange replied to that, giggling and Levi rolled his eyes at that very distasteful enema-joke his friend had just made, leaving the balcony.

...though he had to admit that _usually_ he would have at least smirked at this remark. Because he, too, had a rather filthy and wicked sense of humour.

But today was everything _but_ ordinary. There was nothing _usual_ about the shoot. There was nothing normal about taking someone’s virginity in front of the camera – even if that very special someone had spent almost half of his life fucking other people while being filmed.

Lost deep in these thoughts Levi didn’t see Erwin as he turned around the corner to walk back into the huge kitchen, wanting to fetch himself a glass of water – and crashed right into the big piece of a fucking man, Levi’s face collided with those hard pecs he had jerked off to for too many times in his life already, his hands instinctively rising to shield himself from the impact and now coming to rest on Erwin’s equally hard six pack.

“Oh,” the surprised gasp escaped the giant’s mouth, “I’m sorry,” he added and Erwin’s voice sounded gentle, and so was the look on his face as the man took a step back and lowered his head slightly to gaze down at Levi. “You okay?”

“Sure,” Levi answered, telling his stupid heart to stop beating so fucking fast, offering Erwin a reassuring smirk. “My bad,” he added, “I didn’t see you there.”

Erwin chuckled. “I’m usually hard to miss...” he remarked, voice low, and Levi swallowed dryly, his gaze involuntarily scanning the man’s, indeed, _very_ hard to miss big, trained, athletic body, now clad in a pair of black slacks and a tight, elegant white dress shirt, the top three buttons undone, revealing some of his contrasting tanned skin. He looked refined, and Levi shuddered – Erwin Smith was so his type, so hot, so sexy, so irresistible, Levi’s personal wet dream come alive. As if he himself had moulded him from clay and brought the man to life by sheer magic.

And while thinking all of this, Levi was also frantically looking for something funny to retort, something sharp and cheeky, something flirty because… Because what Erwin had just said to him was... it had been uttered… in a _flirtatious way_, right? Or at least in a _sort of _flirtatious way. Right?

RIGHT?

“Oh, yeah,” Erwin suddenly muttered, reaching into the pockets of his slacks, “I, uh, got something for you. That’s why I was actually looking for you. Um, gimme your hand, will you?”

Levi couldn’t react because once again this very weird nervousness had transformed him into a lifeless statue. But he didn’t have to anyway, because Erwin didn’t actually wait for him to respond, to actually hold out his hand as requested – the man reached out and grabbed it himself. 

And then everything happened in slow motion, and Levi still couldn’t move a muscle. 

He was only able to stare at the events unfolding involving his body. He watched, breathless, as Erwin slipped a golden wedding band onto his ring finger – and he swore that, again, the spots where Erwin’s fingers brushed his skin tingled and felt as if they were on fire.

And the ring… The ring fit… 

It fit perfectly, and Levi gasped lightly, realising his hand was trembling, his whole body actually shaking slightly, and his heart, this oh so treacherous muscle inside of his chest, was beating wildly, as if wanting to pound its way outside of his body to simply throw itself at Erwin Smith.

“…are you okay, Levi?” he heard Erwin asking, the blond’s tone a bit hesitant now, albeit low and somewhat husky. Erwin, who was still holding onto his hand at which Levi was gaping, dumbfounded, eyes wide, lips slightly parted, desperately searching for any kind of energy to fucking say something witty, or crass, to loosen up this very particular tension that he felt, or at least _thought_ to feel evolving between them. “C’mon…” Erwin suddenly murmured letting go of Levi’s hand, and only then the latter dared to look back into his co-star’s eyes, realising that Erwin was smiling at him. But that smile, even though it was gentle, had something insecure about it, and Levi understood why as soon as Erwin finished his very lightly teasing remark, that was uttered to actually _mask_ this insecurity. “It’s not like you _really_ have to marry me, Levi…” he commented.

And this is where another power outage took place inside of Levi’s mind. Or was it his heart? Actually, it didn’t really matter, because a disaster was a disaster and the factual cause was merely of secondary importance. What mattered was what Levi said, his response, the words that suddenly poured from his mouth without having really been previously considered by the young man. It was more of a… natural reaction; his emotions transforming into actual sentences spoken out aloud before passing any filters connected to reality, coming out completely uncensored:

“I actually wouldn’t mind that at all.”

And. The. World. Stood. Still.

Erwin blinked.  
Levi blinked.

…and he wanted to just fucking die right there, right then. Struck by lightning, hit by a fucking piano on the head or ripped to shreds by an escaped tiger or polar bear. Really: the cause of fictitious death really didn’t play a role, he just wanted to disappear, transform into thin air, just fucking _be gone_ this very instant.

But the world was cruel, especially when you were a porn star, and he was stuck standing right in front of Erwin, the man’s ocean blue eyes focussing on his, the blond’s face overcome with astonishment. Or was it amusement? Worry? Confusion? _Disgust? _ Was Erwin creeped out?!

Then, Erwin chuckled – and it was so fucking charming that Levi’s stupid head began to swim again.

And then, something even more horrific happened.

“You really are fucking cute, Levi,” Erwin replied, and it didn’t actually sound mocking, like the man was taking a piss. It sounded… Erwin’s words sounded genuine, and the blond was smiling that gorgeous smile of his that made the ground shake underneath Levi’s feet, and the younger man’s throat went tight, as if a boa constrictor had wound itself around his neck and tried squeezing the living daylights out of the raven.

“Erwin?” Moblit’s voice suddenly sounded from behind the blond and the older man excused himself from Levi, who merely lifted his hand, signalling a ‘don’t worry about it just go’-message – and just before Erwin turned around to walk up to his manager, Levi lowered his gaze and caught a look of Erwin’s hand, a similar golden wedding band placed around his finger, the matching piece to Levi’s; and weird warmth spread inside of the raven-haired’s abdomen, and he couldn’t help but stare back at his own hand, his own finger, the nearly glowing golden ring adorning it. A classical ornament that still meant so much in this world, connecting two people, a piece of jewellery he thought he’d never wear. And here he fucking was.

“I know I’m not supposed to ask you anymore…” Hange’s voice coming from the right side pulled him back into reality, making him flinch a little, “but… are you sure you’re all right?” they asked, tilting their head, staring at Levi as if the latter was a mad man. 

And maybe he was. Surely his brain still hadn’t begun to function properly again, the error still caused by the prior power outage, because he deadpanned: “I think I just told Erwin that I wouldn’t mind being married to him for real.”

Hange blinked.  
Levi blinked.

“Wait,” Hange then mumbled, standing completely still – and then burst into a fit of shrieking laughter. “you fucking did _what_?!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Levi hissed, shouting at his body to get the fuck out of there, storming off into the kitchen – only there stood Moblit and Erwin, right next to the cooking island, discussing something in hushed voices, both of the men’s eyes focussing on him as he entered the room with Hange right behind him, giggling ecstatically; and so Levi decided to skip the fucking water and continued to march through the penthouse, fleeing from _everybody_ locking himself in the main and very spacious, shiny marble bathroom, splashing his face with ice cold water. But when he looked into this big ass fucking mirror taking up the big ass fucking wall, his gaze involuntarily shifted to his fucking occupied ring finger, landing right on the golden symbol for eternal love and marriage – and he groaned.

He had just completely embarrassed himself, continuing to do exactly what he had planned on not doing: acting like a freaking fanboy. 

“Fucking shit,” he mumbled, splashing some more cold water into his face. 

This was bad. This was… _so bad_.

They’d just met a few hours ago for the very first time and Levi told the guy _he wouldn’t mind being married to him_. Yeah, sure thing, this whole newlywed-scenario had been his idea for obvious reasons, but Erwin didn’t know that, and how could Levi possibly be saying crap like this to his colleague – _whom he had only just met? _

Because to Levi it didn’t feel as if they’d only just met.

To Levi it felt as if he’d known the man all of his life. He’d discovered his movies when he had been just a stupid dorky emo teenager – and he had instantly fallen in love with Erwin Smith. Looking back at all those years that had passed, all those films he had devoured with Erwin and his cock being the main stars, all the pictures he had seen of the man, the interviews he had read and watched and listened to, all those dreams he’d had – at night as well as during the day, where he imagined being fucked and kissed and hugged by Erwin – it truly felt as if Erwin had… As if he had always _been_ there. With Levi. Right by his side. Which was bullshit, Levi knew, but… But he couldn’t shake off this feeling.

It was pathetic, he knew.  
Unprofessional, yeah.  
And he had to fucking do something about it. Quick.

But he had no idea how to proceed.

“Levi, honey, I’m leaving and I want to talk over some last things with you!” Hange’s voice reached him from the other side of the door.

“Coming,” Levi answered – and asked himself how often he would do that _later_ actually: _coming_. Buried in Erwin’s ass. 

He blushed, groaning, because… After shooting pornos for two fucking years he wasn’t _supposed_ to blush because of things like these anymore. And he usually _didn’t_. Usually. But… “Aw, fuck this!” he cursed at his reflection in the mirror, pushed himself off the sink and marched out onto the battlefield, ready to face his own downfall, ready to give it his heart. “So, what you got, shitty glasses?” he asked, as soon as he was standing back in the hallway facing his manager, who was grinning at him.

“Nothing,” they blurted out, way too excited, their grin deepening – and Levi regretted having left the bathroom instantly, “I just wanted to laugh at you one final time before I leave, and also to congratulate you.”

“…god, on what?” he asked – and instantly regretted that, too.

“On your wedding,” Hange barely managed to huff out, cracking up on the fit laughter, tears filling their eyes as they continued to cackle, holding their tummy. “You are such an adorable mess!” they added, totally breathless, while Levi stared grimly at the opposite wall.

“…I think I’m gonna fire you,” he mumbled dryly which made Hange laugh even more and shake their head.

“No, baby,” they managed to press out between their maniac huffs of laughter, “you love me way too much. And I’m the only one who can actually stand you and endure your moods, and you incessant swearing, and your bluntness, and your obsession with hygiene and—“

“I fucking get it, get the fuck out of here and leave me alone,” Levi cut his friend off, and Hange laughed again.

“Gimme a call when you’re done and I’ll come pick you up, okay? I’m just gonna talk to Moblit for a bit and then be on my way. Good luck, Levi, and don’t be nervous – you’re good. You can do this. It’s going to be great. But stop telling Erwin embarrassing stuff, kay?”

“Fuck off!”

Hange giggled and practically jumped down the corridor, leaving a sighing Levi behind, who decided to just go back to the balcony he had previously occupied to catch some fresh air after he changed into the clothes Donatella had prepared for him – an outfit similar to Erwin’s, a grey dress shirt paired with dark slacks – but as he entered it, having passed Hange and Mobilt talking, he nearly froze on the spot.

Erwin was there, smoking a cigarette, his lower arms resting on the balustrade, gaze wondering over the rooftops of all the shiny buildings underneath them. 

The calmness that had surrounded him before, making the man act as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened when he had slipped the wedding ring onto Levi's finger, and that had actually astonished the raven-haired, was now gone. Which didn’t mean that the blond man was back to behaving like he had done in the office, being grumpy and pissed off, a furious diva. Instead, Erwin was tapping his right foot quickly against the dark flooring, but stopped immediately as he registered Levi stepping outside into the open space. The blond man then turned his head, and his lips, still pressed tightly together from before, quickly pulled up into a faint smile.

“Hey,” he welcomed his co-star, his voice steady and full and simply charming.

…but now Levi knew that this was all just an act and under all those layers of professionalism and alleged security lay a very self-aware core. Levi knew now that Erwin truly was _nervous_. Maybe just as nervous as Levi, who was asking himself now, how Erwin’s anal preparation had gone – and if the man would comment on the raven’s very embarrassing remark about not minding being married to him.

Jesus, Levi really come across like an obsessed stalker fanboy, he realised once again. If Erwin found out now that the newlyweds had all been his idea, he’d surely get a restraining order. And those horrible thoughts bore the sudden urge to flee. But Levi fought it.

Because for one, Erwin truly hadn’t seem too bothered by Levi’s blurted out words – hell, the guy had told him he was really _cute_ – and for two... _Erwin was nervous_. About being topped by Levi. About having the younger man take his anal virginity in front of other people. And leaving him in this state, just fucking _off_, considering Levi’d have to be fucking _him_ in just a few minutes, was the wrong thing to do. Levi knew. He knew that instead of running away he had to use this opportunity to talk to Erwin about the whole matter, give him some advice like he had been given by all his experienced shooting partners and which had _really_ helped him to calm his nerves during the first few rounds of filming.

He just had to do all that without being _too obvious_ about it. Without spilling the beans, without letting Erwin know that Moblit _had told him_.

He swallowed and then closed the distance between them, coming to a stop right next to Erwin. “Can I have one, too?” he asked him, pointing to the cigarette. “Since we'll be kissing each other a lot today, it would be better if we _both_ tasted of tobacco.”

“Shit,” Erwin breathed out, reaching for the pack immediately and holding it out to Levi to take one out, “I’m sorry, I haven’t thought this through,” the blond closed gently after lighting Levi’s fag, and then confessed something else Levi was already well aware of. “I only smoke when I’m nervous. And then I also don’t _think_.”

“Well, I start blurting out really improper and embarrassing shit when I’m nervous because I also don’t think... so I guess you’re still better off than me with just the smoking,” Levi countered, his remark making his own heart flutter a bit. Yet the warm chuckle he earned from Erwin in response was totally worth it. And then the raven just went for it. Straight in, without any preparation. “What’s your favourite sex position?” Levi asked, with his particular plan in mind.

“Huh,” Erwin made, evidently having to think about this for a short moment, maybe even slightly surprised Levi was asking this sort of out of the blue, “I guess I like fucking guys from behind. It’s simple, but effective. You can go in really deep, steady yourself by grabbing their hips. And it allows you to slam into them hard without the danger of slipping out or falling off the bed and things like that,” he finally answered honestly and without any shame in his voice. This was about work after all. Kind of.

“Yeah,” Levi breathed out, staring at a glass building at the far horizon reflecting the bright sunlight, a few sequences of Erwin fucking other men doggy style flashing across his mind, causing this dangerous heat to spread in his abdomen, “I get that. From a bottom’s perspective it’s also great, actually for the same reasons, I’d say.”

“...I guess…” Erwin mumbled.

“Uh-huh…” Levi murmured, and while their exchange came to a pause both men smoked their cigarettes and enjoyed the quiet out here under the blue sky. “You know,” Levi then eventually picked up their talk again, taking a long drag of the menthol fag that tasted like shit, but he wouldn’t complain about that, “Originally, thinking I’d be the bottom today, I had planned to ride you. It’s _my_ favourite position. Wanna know why?”

Erwin exhaled audibly, a long line of smoke leaving his mouth. “Shoot,” he then told Levi. And Levi did.

“Because even though you’re bottoming – you’re _in control_ in this position. You’re _on top_. You define the pace of the fucking and how deep you let your partner slide inside of you. And most importantly: you control _the angle_ in which the dick is ramming into you, and that’s the key to good anal sex. Having the cock strike your prostrate. Because only _then_ it _really_ feels good, you know… At least for me. That’s why riding guys is just… _the shit_, you know?”

“Huh…” it came from Erwin, and Levi risked a short glance at the blond. He could see that Erwin was digesting this information, his brows slightly furrowed, the man chewing lightly on his bottom lip, and Levi decided to push his luck once more today.

“I like different positions as well, but if I have the choice, I always start with riding my partners. It’s a good warm up, a good round one, so to speak. After that I’m like… thoroughly stretched and relaxed, especially when I climax, and then the guy can basically take me anyway he wants without really hurting me or it being uncomfortable. And, you know, being ridden is cool as well for the top. Less work, nice view...”

Levi saw Erwin’s lips move into a slight grin at that. “Yeah… you’re right about that,” the man then mumbled, finishing his cigarette, just in time as Behring entered the balcony.

“Ah, here are my newlyweds, how are you celebrating your big wedding, huh?” he teased them, and Erwin smiled politely.

“By deciding to have infamous ‘cigarette after’ before the actual consummation of marriage,” he joked badly and Behring laughed anyway, Levi wanting to roll his eyes, but finding it oddly charming; and thus, he did nothing.

“Okay,” the director said, clapping his hands. “Let’s go inside.”

Levi crushed out his half-finished cigarette in the black big ash tray and followed them into the kitchen where Behring wanted to discuss the last details with his stars as well the two remaining crew members. The guy responsible for lighting, Jacob, also helping out with audio, smiled fondly at Levi. The raven had worked with him before. 

Just like Jimmy, Jacob was in his early 40s and looked like your boring next door neighbour whom you’d probably picture working a boring office job or selling TVs and phone chargers at the mall – and not place him at a set for hardcore gay porn. It was absurd. Like so many things about this industry. Like so many things about _today. _

“All right,” Behring started, showing off his famous, passionate character, eyes nearly glittering, his stare awake, the corners of his mouth pulled into a faint smile. “I want to give you two as much creative freedom as possible,” he addressed both Erwin and Levi. “Do whatever pleases you and I will give you instructions only if I deem it necessary during the scenes you guys compose on your own,” he made a pause, making sure his actors were following him. And they were, both nodding. “I only have two requests for you, Erwin,” the man made clear – and the blond flinched very lightly at those words. But Levi was sure he was the only one who actually realised this – because he was watching the man maybe a little _too_ closely…

“I want you to suck Levi off at some point. No cum shot, you’re going to swallow,” Behring continued – and Levi, so very unprofessionally, almost gasped when he heard the director say this, his mind recreating all of his wanking fantasies focussed on this very act that would become reality today.

“All right,” Erwin answered and when their eyes locked, that man, obviously again able to push all of his nervousness aside, fucking winked at Levi in a very dirty way – and the younger man almost lost _it_.

Erwin Smith was going to blow him.  
And Erwin Smith was going to swallow his cum.  
For real.

_Holy motherfucking shit. _

“There’s a huge size difference we need to take into consideration, so I guess some positions are simply off the table for you guys,” Behring continued, grinning faintly while letting his gaze wander between Levi and Erwin, who was, indeed, so much taller and bigger than his shooting partner. 

“Yeah,” Levi agreed, not able to shut his mouth on this one, “I think I need a ladder to climb to that ass,” he deadpanned, and it made the men around him laugh a little. Even Erwin smirked.

“Just find out what works best for you,” Behring stated, “but I _do_ want to see you ride Levi, Erwin.”

…at that Levi swallowed dryly, the world once more seeming to stop turning for a few seconds.

“Yeah,” Erwin answered, “we’re actually gonna start with this, won’t we, Levi?”

…and the dark-haired rising porn star called upon every cell of his body to keep his face straight, being also way too excited about this scenario also becoming reality on the inside; but also extremely relieved Erwin had taken his non-direct advice about this sex position. This would allow Erwin to steer their first round, give him some confidence, provide him with what he was used to doing in front of the camera: being in charge.

Behring continued to explain that they would start shooting the very _innocent_ introductory pictures in the beginning because he was sure, or rather he hoped, that both of his stars would be too exhausted after several rounds of fucking to get back into their clothes and act all fresh and full of energy after the sex scenes to get this over with – and Levi’s cheeks glowed in heat once more, because he, too, hoped that Behring was right and he would be drooling mess at the end of the shooting not able to move a muscle anymore.

While they all made their way downstairs in the elevator, Behring continued to elaborate on what was on his mind, how he wanted to take a sequence of Erwin and Levi entering the lobby of the hotel, checking in, the camera focussed on their joined hands decorated with their wedding rings, and how the two of them were to board the elevator – and stumble out into the penthouse kissing.

…and Levi swore that for the first time he felt what one referred to as butterflies in his belly. And he hated himself for it. Because, for Christ’s sake, this was the shooting of a freaking porno movie and he was just an actor, and there shouldn’t be any of those feelings involved. He wasn’t _supposed_ to turn nervous, to blush. His heart _wasn’t_ supposed to start beating like a jungle drum in a techno song. He wasn’t supposed to experience _heat_ flooding his abdomen. He was just supposed to get an erection and fuck the shit out of his co-star in any angle and way his director desired, then go home, eat pizza and play video games for the rest of the night and forget about it all, until he had to fuck somebody else or be fucked by somebody else during his next shoot. And yet here he fucking was. All flustered and feeling giddy like a teenager facing his first ever alone time with someone he liked as the elevator cabin was approaching the ground floor. 

And Behring’s words weren’t making it any better.

“I want you to be cheerful, easy-going, chilled – and all over each other. Remember: you just got married and you are utterly in love,” the man was saying as they walked across the lobby and Jimmy went over to Donatella waiting at the reception and negotiating the very last details for the filming permit in the lobby. “Be subtle at the beginning, especially when you’re in this semi-public place. But then when you enter your honeymoon penthouse, I want you to constantly touch each other. Look each other deep the eyes, exchange endearing smiles. Hug each other, pat each other, stroke each other – and I wanna see _a lot_ of groping and penetration, okay?” Behring explained to them passionately and Levi felt himself nodding, the tips of his ears _burning_, the director’s words evoking weird and somewhat scary emotions inside of him, that made him unable to even _look_ at Erwin, the pictures his mind was creating as he was listening being way too powerful, making his knees goes weak and his skin tingle, making him nearly go crazy.

And that was… That was just utterly _pathetic_.

He was a porn actor, for fuck’s sake.  
This was _work_.  
This was merely sex.  
Sex _was_ work.  
_So get your shit together_, he scolded himself.

And just as he managed to finally calm his nerves, cool his head, make his body relax and get of all those strange perceptions, filling his lungs with fresh air, taking a breather, concentrating on being a composed pro – Erwin grabbed his hand.

Erwin. Grabbed. His. Hand.

The blond reached for his hand, lacing their fingers, pulling Levi gently against his body, and when Levi, nearly stumbling over his own two feet (asking himself whether he truly was a porn star or rather a Charlie Chaplin re-enactor), looked up into Erwin’s face and spotted that very gentle smile on those kissable lips – _it all fucking went to shit. _

He felt as if in this moment his soul had just simply left his body and he was looking down at his deserted body, a heap of willing flesh, guided by his ever-present lust for this blond man who could have led him to hell without the raven even flinching, without the young man even doubting Erwin Smith for even _a fucking second_.

The first few scenes went by as if he was in a trance, floating on a fucking cloud, his mind woozy as if he’d ingested a cocktail of exotic, semi-illegal plants mixed with the world’s finest alcohols. Levi placed his hand on top of the dark wood of the receptionist’s counter and Erwin covered it with his, the camera focussing on their rings, the places where their skin joined, and that burned like the purgatorial fire. 

Erwin was standing behind Levi, so close – _way too close_ – his big, broad upper body pressing against Levi’s back as they were pretending to be checking in, the hotel’s worker merely appearing as a blurry form in the background, the blond man’s breath – _way too hot_ – brushing over Levi’s nape and making all of the little hairs there rise and reach out towards the sky.

Jimmy and Behring, operating the second camera himself, filmed Erwin and Levi strolling hand in hand through the less frequented parts of gigantic lobby, the bigger man pulling their trolley allegedly containing their luggage for their honeymoon behind them, the two men looking at each other, smiling – and fuck, was Levi feeling light-headed while doing that. 

The two cameramen finally made a close up of Erwin pushing the button to call the elevator down – using his hand where the wedding ring was on his finger, of course – some curious guests stopping to watch what was happening and leaving quickly, once they got an idea of it. Because Behring also filmed Erwin pushing his hand slowly into Levi’s hair, cradling his alleged spouse’s head in a tender way – and god, Levi shuddered at this impact, this way too gentle touch by this way too massive hand, Erwin’s body so close to his, their sides pressed together, the man’s shiny blues eyes boring into his, the blond murmuring bullshit about how soft Levi’s dark strands felt between his fingers and that he hadn’t anticipated that, and that Levi could play a part in any hair commercial because of it, Levi responding by chuckling and saying something along the lines of Erwin being a fucking sleaze bag while maintaining an innocent smile on his face, which in turn made Erwin chuckle. And all of that because Behring wanted them talking in hushed voices, desired some lovey-dovey interaction that wouldn’t be really heard in the final production but which he needed to make it seem more real.

“All right,” the director said, as the elevator came down, “you guys stay here and wait until it comes back down,” he instructed Erwin and Levi, whose arms were still brushing because they were still standing so close to each other. “Jimmy, Jacob and I will go up, get ready quickly and wait for you upstairs in the penthouse. Remember: I want you snogging when the elevator doors open, and I want you stumbling out of it hands all over each other. You can do this for me, right?”

“Of course, Franz,” Erwin answered, sounding like prince charming. Well, like a lewd and perverted version of prince charming with a big fat cock underneath his garments.

And then, Erwin and Levi were suddenly left alone – and only then Levi realised, how fucking tense he was. How fucking pathetic, how embarrassing this circumstance actually proved to be. But when he looked at Erwin, he realised that the man’s perky smirk had also vanished from his face, and when the man looked down at the raven, a tiny bit surprised about Levi staring at him, Erwin tried cracking a smile, which came across way too strained and ended up being a grimace instead.

“…what a fucking pair we are, huh?” Levi blurted out – and Erwin’s lips finally managed to glide into a proper smile.

“Yeah…” he agreed, snorting, “newly_fucking_weds…”

“I’m definitely nervous like one before his freaking _fuckey_moon…” Levi confessed jokingly.

“_Fuckey_moon?” Erwin picked up incredulously and started laughing. And to Levi’s ears this was a fucking symphony composed by a freaking classical master. 

“Oh, come on,” he started explaining, teasing, while also trying to mask his embarrassment with some cocky attitude, “everybody knows that a honeymoon is all about fucking. All day, all night.”

“Well,” Erwin said, still grinning, “that’s probably why Behring decided for this theme in the end.”

“Yeah…” Levi agreed way too quickly, trying so hard not to recall his serious crap-talk with the director, convincing him that this was the best scenario for their movie because…

The raven-haired nearly jumped up when the elevator chimed and the doors opened right in front of them revealing the empty cabin that was to bring them back to penthouse. 

“So…” Erwin said, gesturing to Levi like a freaking gentleman to board it before him, “shall we, Mr. Smith?”

“Mr. Smith?” Levi now echoed, faintly amused (and shaken as fuck) – and nearly melted when he saw that cheeky grin reappear on Erwin’s handsome face.

“Franz said we should decide on a which surname we would use for this movie, didn’t he?” Erwin countered – and Franz had indeed done that. Suggesting to use one of their actual surnames because all the viewers knew who they were anyway and would go totally crazy (according to Behring) if they used a piece of reality for this fictitious scenario. “…and since I am older and have been in this industry longer than you, I thought that mine would be fitting,” Erwin continued his explanation, looking Levi deep into the eyes, “…and since you’ve been a fan of mine for at least a decade, I thought you’d _like_ the idea of taking on my surname. At least for today…” he added – and on the one hand Levi wanted to punch this cocky bastard right into his (very manly and exquisitely beautiful) face, because he was sure the man was taking a piss about his earlier marriage-comment, while on the other hand he wanted to instantly change all of his legal documents into Levi Smith and brag about it to the world. And that’s why he wasn’t able to say anything coherent. That’s why he just stared at Erwin, who started laughing very nervously. “I mean,” the man then stammered. “Ackerman is fine, too…”

“No,” Levi heard himself say then, averting his gaze because he just couldn’t take to look Erwin in the eyes when he finally did retort, “Smith is good. For the movie,” and with this he entered the elevator and leaned against the wall, with Erwin, smiling like a triumphant idiot, following and punching in the combination for the straight ride to the penthouse. 

When the doors closed at the lobby’s sound ceased and there were only the two of them left, Levi let out the air out of his lungs and realised he had started shaking again, cursing at himself to fucking stop already. In vain. This is when he heard Erwin sigh, somewhat relieved. “You know,” the man then suddenly started speaking, as the elevator began moving up and Levi’s nervousness took on a whole new level – no, a new _dimension_ in fact – because he knew that from now on it would start to be _way more_ than just innocent touches between them; and _those_ already had fucked with his head. 

So how was he going to survive today’s shoot when Erwin and him got naked and down to the actual business? 

And Erwin… Erwin Smith and his wonderful mouth and velvety, low voice just added to the torture. “For what it’s worth,” the man continued saying, putting his arm around Levi’s shoulder and pulling the man back against his body, making Levi’s heart jump while the blond looked him deep into the eyes for what felt like the hundredth and simultaneously like the first time ever, “I wasn’t exactly _ecstatic_ when Franz told me I’ll be bottoming today…” Erwin made a slight pause and Levi was, yet again, fascinated by the man’s gentle and brilliant smile on his rosy lips – and then the blond said _this_: “But I’m actually glad my first time is going to be with _you_, Levi.”

…and Levi knew that this meant so much more than it actually did, because he knew that it was a _real_ first time, not just a performance in front of the cameras, and… and it made his head spin, and his mouth twist, and he didn’t know whether he had actually managed to smile or whether he was merely grimacing, because he was in such emotional turmoil that he couldn’t really control his body anymore.

“Hey…” Erwin mumbled and pulled Levi even closer against his body, making the smaller man shudder, “we’re almost at the penthouse and… we better start kissing now, cause Franz will freak out if we’re not full-on snogging when those doors open,” he added, and before Levi could react in any way – good or bad or simply embarrassing – the man’s other hand wound itself around his waist, and the one resting on his shoulder slid gracefully into his neck, and Erwin bent down and pressed his lips against Levi’s, and the younger man’s eyes closed automatically and then… and then…

And then Levi’s brains malfunctioned, starting to solely run on (horny) autopilot.

Because this kiss… This kiss was… It was _overwhelming_.

Because it was a dream coming true.

A fantasy cultivated for so many years now.

And Erwin’s mouth was so beautifully soft, and the man’s big hands on Levi’s body felt so hot. They were so good, so calming and at the same time so arousing, and Levi’s body reacted; his arms mirroring Erwin’s posture, one of his hands shifting to rest on Erwin’s hot nape, his filigree fingers brushing over the short hairs of the man’s undercut, while the other snaked around his waist, bringing their bodies now impossibly close together.

And then, in the middle of the process, it suddenly really hit him, his mind spinning as this very clear thought, the realisation, crashing through him like a fucking tsunami:

_He was kissing Erwin Smith. _

HE. WAS. KISSING. ERWIN. SMITH.

Or rather: Erwin Smith was kissing _him_…!

And when the man suddenly demanded more, Levi was oh so willing to comply: His lips yielded and parted, and Erwin pushed the tip of his tongue between them, making it collide with Levi’s. And Levi couldn’t stop it, couldn’t hold back the deep groan arising from the pit of his stomach, passing into Erwin’s mouth – who fucking responded with the same type of sound, his hand at the same time wandering down to cup Levi’s right butt cheek, and a very harsh wave of arousal hurtled through Levi’s body at that touch, unloading in his groin, which he, absent-mindedly, pressed against Erwin’s thigh, making the bigger man groan into his mouth yet again.

Levi’s mind was, once again, swimming, and he struggled to bring it into focus.

Erwin’s lips… They felt just like they had done in all of his dreams, his dirty fantasies. Soft and pliable, moulding perfectly against his, so wet, so sweet, so wonderful, so demanding, yearning, the man’s thick fingers digging into flesh, pushing Levi further against his body, as if the blond enjoyed feeling Levi’s growing cock pressed against his leg and then… And then, _fuck. _

Levi felt it, too. The bulge between Erwin’s legs nudging his stomach, the man’s impending erection, and his heart raced with rampant teenage arousal.

He didn’t even fully register the elevator doors opening, didn’t pay attention to the two cameras directed at them, rolling, only felt Erwin’s hands on his body dig into his flesh and muscles more forcefully, their heads tilting to further deepen the kiss, as the blond man moved them out of the elevator and somehow even managed to pull the luggage out with them into the spacious hallway before the elevator-cabin closed again. 

And when it did, and Erwin let go of that fucking useless trolley, sparks of desire jolted Levi’s limbs, because that fucking man grabbed his thighs without any warning, pushing Levi up and with his back against the closed metal doors, the raven’s legs winding themselves automatically around Erwin’s waist, his arms looping themselves around Erwin’s neck – and there was just one single, simple, very short moment in which their lips parted and air was able to flood their lungs again, both men locking eyes for this very brief moment that maybe contained a bit of clarity, maybe not. It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Fuck clarity, Levi thought, a shiver working its way up the young man’s spine in the very second Erwin chose to attack his mouth again, sealing Levi’s lips with his own, pressing his tongue back inside as if Levi’s mouth belonged to him, their tongues tangling together – and Levi’s cock twitched. And when he could feel Erwin’s awakening monster press against his butt, he briefly, just ever so shortly, wished that this hunk of a man would fuck him right here, right now against the elevator doors.

A deep moan escaped him at that instant, and Behring, that stupid fucker, mumbled excitedly “that’s it, that’s just it! Make them believe that Erwin’s the top here and Levi’s going to get fucked, only to surprise them at the very last minute – brilliant!”

In all his dizziness caused by those extreme emotions Erwin’s lips and his radiating body heat brought on, Levi had almost forgotten about the other men present, looking at them, filming them, and he quickly reminded himself to discard this thought again – because that was the key to performing in porn. Either forgetting about all the people on set, or just ignoring them, focussing on your partner or very dirty thoughts. Because sometimes the person you got paired up with was… not really your type, not your piece of cake, and Levi had – many times – needed to close his eyes, touch himself, and fantasise about someone else to actually get it up at all and to endure a pounding given by someone he would have never even talked to when going out for instance.

…and during those times, his mind had always called upon the image of Erwin Smith.

Erwin Smith had been the guy to get Levi’s dick _hard_, get him through the whole shoot at times.

And now the man was kissing him, and his fingers were digging into Levi’s thighs, and it was Erwin Smith who was grinding against him, groaning lowly into Levi’s mouth. It was Erwin Smith’s tongue that was rummaging through Levi’s cavity. It was his hair that Levi’s own digits were mercilessly clawing into as he kissed back harshly – and, boy, _those_ rumours were sure fucking true: Erwin Smith was a ruthless and good kisser.

“Okay guys,” Behring almost whispered, sounding giddy like child on Christmas morning, “gimme some dialogue…!”

Erwin immediately complied, breaking the kiss, shortly licking over Levi’s bottom lip, the camera now very close to them, and Levi could feel Erwin’s breath on his moist lips, when the man started speaking to him in a sultry tone, his lips pulled into a ballsy smile. “You’re so freaking hot, baby.”

Levi smirked, calling upon every fibre of his body to remember his position as an actor, pushing aside all those feelings clouding his mind and heart, and following Behring’s direction. “That’s why you married my ass…” he breathed in response, smirking – and Erwin kissed him again, pushing in his tongue briefly, making Levi’s abdomen clench, before once more ending this wet and intimate contact, to murmur some more stuff against Levi’s mouth, while his hands moved further up his body, now both cupping his ass.

“That’s right, _Mr. Smith_,” Erwin purred – and, fuck. Levi couldn’t stop himself from claiming the blond’s mouth again at that particular way of being addressed. And their kiss was intense. It was deep. It was anything but chaste. It was a full-on, lewd snog, just as Behring had requested, and Erwin’s big tongue sliding skilfully over Levi’s was as hot as liquid lava. 

Their lips fit perfectly together and it actually felt as if they had kissed many times before. Because it hadn’t been and it _wasn’t_ awkward, there was no ‘test phase’, no experimenting, no moment in which they needed to adjust to the other – they were in sync from the very beginning. Knowing how and where and how much to tilt their heads in order to kiss deeper, more thorough, as if they both anticipated the next move of the other. And Levi couldn’t remember when kissing had felt _this good_. And he didn’t harbour the desire to search his memory for an answer. Because everything he wanted to do was to focus on this moment, on _Erwin Smith devouring his mouth_, pushing his tongue against Levi’s, the man’s big hands kneading his ass hungrily, making arousal pool at the base of Levi’s belly, causing the raven to rub himself against Erwin’s hard body even more.

“Haaah!” it suddenly escaped Levi’s mouth as Erwin ended the kiss with a little surprise, sinking his teeth playfully into his partner’s puffy bottom lip. “Ugh!” the next sound fell from Levi's mouth as Erwin sank his canines into his throat and a very intense shudder took over the whole of Levi’s body.

And then, out of fucking nowhere, Erwin, his hands still pressing into Levi’s ass cheeks, lifted him up, throwing him easily over his shoulder like he was a small sack of rice or a fucking fluffy towel, and another wave a strange wooziness passed over him as the man carried him down the hallway.

He couldn’t contain a fit of happy laughter pouring from his lips, fisting Erwin’s shirt at the man’s broad and muscled back for support. For one, because he truly was feeling giddy, and for two, because he was supposed _to act_ as if he was feeling giddy. “Hey,” he thus also fake-protested with a light voice, still full of amusement, “let me go! Where do you think you are taking me, Mr. Smith?”

“To the bedroom...,” Erwin responded, “..._Mr. Smith_,” the blond man’s voice low and somewhat dark, evoking pleasant shivers rippling down Levi’s skin – and he had no idea how to retort, his groin stirring. And when Erwin entered the big room and closed the distance between the door and the bed in record time (darn long legs!), Levi’s breath hitched. Especially, when his co-star’s hand closed down on his body and Erwin easily threw him onto the mattress, his back meeting the soft surface, his body softly bouncing back.

Just a second later, or maybe it even only had been a millisecond, Erwin climbed on top of him, his hands closing around Levi’s wrists, pinning the younger man’s hands above his head into the deep blue sheets matching the porn legend’s stunning eyes – and Levi swallowed thickly, Erwin’s manly face hovering right above his.

The man was staring deep into the raven’s eyes as his knee suddenly moved between Levi’s legs and pushed against his hardening crotch, making the dark-haired squirm, his mouth releasing a low groan at this teasing stimulation. And that’s when Erwin’s face came even closer to his, the older man letting his whole body collide gently with Levi’s, as he brought their lips and teeth and tongues back together for another wonderful series of hungry, vulgar kisses that made Levi’s ears ring and his body do wondrous things.

They were still fully clothed – and yet what was happening between them already felt... Levi felt as if fireworks were going off all around him, and he felt intimidated and drunk, embarrassed and drugged – and he was rock hard. His cock was solid, full of blood, just because Erwin was kissing and grinding against him lightly; and Levi was grinding back, his body starved as if he hadn’t had sex for a month when his last shoot had only taken place a few days ago. But he didn’t want to dwell on this memory, the man whom he had sex with being simply too unimportant to think about. Because _everyone_ seemed that way when compared to Erwin Smith.

“Ugh!” Levi groaned once more, as the blond increased the pressure of his thigh rubbing against Levi’s dick, and the man chuckled, waiting for Jimmy to come closer with the camera, pointed at their faces, before he spoke to his younger co-actor in a husky, lightly amused voice.

“You’re hard and I haven’t even touched you yet...” the blond made fun of him and chuckled once more.

“Well, then maybe you _should_ finally touch me, darling...” Levi murmured seductively, subtly biting his lip and taking advantage of Erwin seeming quite fond of the raven’s doings, pausing in his movement, blue eyes focussed on Levi’s lewd, moist mouth and the tip of the raven’s tongue darting out – and that’s the moment Levi managed to slip out of Erwin’s weakened grasp, grabbed the bigger man’s shoulders, slid his leg underneath Erwin’s and used all of his strength and muscles to flip the bigger man over.

The blond blinked in surprise when he suddenly found himself lying on his back and Levi, yet again, utilized the blond’s state of mind to grip Erwin’s wrist next and finish the complete turnaround of their positions, now pinning Erwin’s hands above the stoic head into the sheets, straddling the guy, hovering over him like a feline predator, ready to strike, bite his throat, smirking at the man, and… 

And then Levi froze.

Because in the deep blue ocean of Erwin’s eyes he spotted something that hadn’t been there before.

Fear.

It wasn’t strong and Erwin’s expression could not be described as one of terror or anxiety. Because Erwin obviously was pretty good at masking his emotions, pushing them to the back of his mind. He succeeded on putting up an act, which he had already proven to Levi today. But every man had his limits. And so it was there, the fear. Subtle, lurking in the shadows, creeping round the corner, but Levi could see it. He could feel it, how this beautiful body beneath him tensed up – and it was overwhelming. It almost physically hurt Levi, the brutal reality of this shoot crashing back into his mind, and Erwin’s words kept replaying in his head.

_ ‘I’m actually glad my first time is going to be with you, Levi.’ _

Immediately, Levi let go of Erwin’s wrists, his hands gliding upwards, palms sliding over Erwin’s palms, his fingers locking gently with Erwin’s digits. And the man complied, squeezing back lightly, as Levi bent forward to push his lips against Erwin’s again, chastely this time. Without the usage of tongue. Simply pressing his mouth against Erwin’s shortly, to pepper light kisses down the man’s cheek and jaw next, until his lips reached his ear.

“…relax…” Levi whispered into it, and he heard Erwin swallow thickly. “Relax…” he repeated, kissing the man’s lobe, wandering down his throat next – and he felt Erwin turn his head lightly to expose his sensitive skin to Levi and his ministrations; and this felt wonderful, making Levi feel confident once again, another plan forming in his mind.

And thus, he slowly let go of Erwin, gliding off this big and beautiful body while he maintained eye contact, Erwin’s gaze, partly curious, partly insecure, partly gentle, following every single one of raven’s movements; as did the other men with their cameras. But about those Levi really didn’t care at that moment. He was fully concentrated on this beautiful man before him, lying on the large bed, his lips still moist from Levi’s saliva, his face slightly flushed. And Levi did not hesitate. He began unbuttoning his shirt. 

Not too fast, not too slowly either. Steady, determined, yet not rushed. The piece of clothing fell to the floor and Levi immediately got working on his belt, while staring into Erwin’s eyes. Erwin, who had sat up now, gaze transfixed on Levi and his hands that were unzipping the fly of his slacks, one of the camera’s filming every step of his way to nakedness, eventually achieved when Levi pushed his thumbs under the waistband of his tight boxer briefs and swiftly pushed them down, standing completely bare right in front of Erwin, his cock erect, Behring whispering enthusiastically something like ‘there we go’ somewhere next to Levi. 

But Levi didn’t care.

“Like what you see?” he mumbled, gaze still locked on Erwin, and the man nodded, nostrils flaring slightly as his blue eyes wandered shamelessly across every centimetre of Levi’s exposed and well-built body, taking in the sight of the very naked and aroused man. And the raven smirked, now completely immersed in his role. “It’s all yours now, _husband_…” he continued temptingly, suddenly holding out his hand towards Erwin in an inviting way. “Come,” he breathed, “I feel dirty after our journey… I want to take _a bath_… Will you give me a hand…?”

And once more he witnessed Erwin Smith swallow thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing visibly. In the next second, Erwin got up, elegantly but hasty at the same time, aiming straight for Levi. And before the latter could form another coherent thought, Erwin’s hands were back on his body, and the man was picking him up from the floor in a bridal carry, words of protest dying on Levi’s lips as he was once again allured and enticed by the closeness of Erwin’s burning body pressed against his, making him feel all those forbidden emotions that confused him and at the same time somehow fulfilled him, made him feel content while at the same time agitated.

And then Levi’s heart nearly stopped.

Because as Erwin carried him through the room towards the adjacent main bathroom with the huge whirlpool, the cameras following them from behind, the man breathed a quick kiss onto Levi’s temple, whispering a very low, and very quiet and _very_ gentle ‘thank you’ against his skin – and the goosebumps that erupted all over Levi’s skin were extreme.

“All right, cut!” Behring’s order ended the filming of this particular scene, and the director was already barking his next orders as they all filled the bathroom, Erwin setting Levi down to his feet calmly. “Jacob, get the whirlpool filled and started, Jimmy, get some champagne and two glasses from the kitchen. Erwin, don’t strip – Levi’s gonna take off your clothes. Levi, keep that cock hard.”

“…aye,” Levi answered, and Erwin grinned slightly – and as Behring’s two staff members got to work and Behring was setting up his own camera, Levi suddenly noticed Erwin looking shamelessly between his legs.

The raven scoffed, though he was sure his strange nervousness was making him blush yet again, when he repeated his words from before. “Like what you see?”

Ah, and there was that very confident, smug actor speaking again. “I have always found your cock to be of exquisite beauty,” Erwin replied. 

The raven scoffed again – though on the inside he was screaming. Because Erwin (fucking) Smith had just complimented his dick. This was huge. Fucking _huge_!

…and Levi was so pathetic.

“Thanks…” he finally muttered, watching as Jimmy brought in the bottle of cold champagne and filled two glasses with the fizzing substance, “yours is really nice as well…”

Erwin chuckled. “I’m flattered…” he then mumbled, eyes, just like Levi’s, settling on the whirlpool that was shortly filled with bubbling water, an inviting wet scenery Behring was especially very fond of. Levi knew of that preference, that’s how he’s known the director wouldn’t object to them going into the water. Behring liked his protagonists wet. And Levi liked _Erwin_ wet.

“You ready to carry on, guys?” the director’s voice pulled Levi from his lewd thought, and he felt himself nodding. Shooting Erwin a quick glance, he saw the blond also confirming, smiling at both Levi and the director, and something agreeable stirred inside of his tummy. “Okay, Levi, get your cock a little bit harder and then start taking off Erwin’s clothes,” Behring instructed, and Levi stroked his dick a couple of times until the wanted level of hardness was achieved – which happened fairly quickly as for one, he hadn’t really grown that soft, and for two, Erwin had been watching him pump himself, and those deep blue eyes focussing on his body were just utterly arousing.

“You ready?” he asked Erwin, and the man nodded, still smiling. “Okay.”

“Go!” Behring gave his signal – and the scene began anew, both Erwin and Levi falling back into their roles as Mr. and Mr. Smith. 

And Levi would’ve been lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy this. Walking up to Erwin, looping his arms around the giant’s neck while standing up on his toes, bringing their mouths back together, Erwin’s big hands wandering back to rest on his naked ass cheeks, squeezing lightly, while their tongues danced around each other. And while Levi was kissing Erwin, his hands moved to the front of his upper body. 

“Hold on,” Jimmy whispered, moving around them to get a better view, and both Erwin and Levi, the professionals they were, turned their bodies slightly and effortlessly toward the camera to enable a good shot of Levi unbuttoning Erwin’s shirt. “All right…” Jimmy whispered again, and then Levi proceeded, releasing small button after small button, until the shirt was completely opened. Then, Levi broke their kiss and slowly pulled the piece of white garment from Erwin’s lean body, letting his gaze wander all over the man’s naked chest, his heart beating in his throat. Because even if he actually knew his co-star’s body off by heart, had seen it without any clothes for so many times – he had never _really_ seen it. He had never touched it, and now he was, without even realising it. His hands had moved on their own, gliding up Erwin’s hard abdominals, brushing his ribcage, travelling over the men’s hard nipples, and fuck – this touch, as expected, made the blond take a sharp inhale of air; and when Levi started circling the buds with both of his index fingers, a deep groan left Erwin’s mouth, and his big hand cupped Levi’s cheek, tilting his head upwards so that he could kiss him again.

This meeting of their tongues was more desperate. He could practically taste Erwin’s growing arousal from his lips, mixed with the aroma of the minty tobacco. And it did something to Levi. The feel of Erwin’s wet muscle back in his mouth, the warmth of Erwin’s hands on his skin, the sound of the man’s low groans as Levi continued to play with his nipples framed by that wonderful, manly chest hair – it was intoxicating.

That’s why he stopped it quicker than he had actually planned, moving his hands down Erwin’s torso, to unbuckle his belt. And when he did, he broke the kiss and took a step back. For one, to enable a good shot of Erwin’s slightly flushed face and the act of getting rid of the man’s pants. For two, because he wanted to enjoy this view himself. For three, because he needed to move anyway. Because as soon as the slacks were unzipped, Levi pulled them down with the briefs – and followed the movement of the clothes, sinking down with them onto the floor on his knees. And the moment Erwin’s semi-hard cock came into his view, in front of his face, Levi took a sharp inhale of air, taking in Erwin’s scent, musky and manly while also laced with something fruity from a shower gel the man must have used, and nearly fucking drooled.

Just like the rest of this exquisite body he had seen this thick thing like a thousand times, had daydreamed about it non-stop. But having Erwin Smith’s dick – in the flesh – right in front of his eyes was… mesmerising. And kind of overwhelming. It was fantastic and just freaking fucking hot. 

And this is where yet another power outage happened within his brain. His hand grabbed Erwin’s dick, and the man gasped. Then, Levi looked up into the man’s face, and shuddered, realising Erwin was watching him closely. And then – he licked it from root to tip. And when that pulled an enticing moan from Erwin’s lips, Levi didn’t hold back anymore, taking the whole thing into his mouth and _sucking_.

“Fuck…” Erwin groaned, his hands raking into Levi’s hair, feeling the movement of the younger man’s bobbing head. “Fuck…!” Erwin huffed out again – and hearing this sultry, sexy deep voice (Erwin’s voice!) and having the man’s wet cock growing stiff quickly inside of his mouth… it made Levi’s own dick twitch.

His fingers moved to Erwin’s balls, fondling gently with them while he continued to suck and lick and slurp and the man’s thick length – and boy, it really was thick…!

“Deep throat him,” he heard Behring’s voice from behind – and he complied. Because he was a porn actor and needed to listen to listen to his director’s voice.

…but also because he really, really, really wanted to deep throat Erwin.

“Oh my fucking god…” it poured from Erwin’s mouth in a desperate tone, and the exclamation was followed by a deep moan, the man throwing his head back, fingers fisting into Levi’s hair, his scalp – and the raven shuddered, swallowing around Erwin’s cock, making the sensitive, round, fat head brush against his wet and tight throat; and Erwin groaned, his body jerking. 

“Don’t make him come yet,” Behring added, and Levi let Erwin’s wet cock slide out of his mouth completely, looking up into his alleged spouses flushed face. Erwin’s lips were parted and his breathing was harder – and there were those butterflies again in Levi’s stomach. And his cock was tingling, because looking up at Erwin, holding his thick cock in his hand, the wet tip resting on his lips, and seeing the evident arousal in those deep, dark blue eyes – Jesus fucking Christ, this was _beyond_ hot. 

Levi darted his tongue out and licked over Erwin’s cockhead, lapping up the precome that had gathered at the slit – and Erwin groaned.  
Levi let his wet muscle circle the tip, focussing on the frenulum – and Erwin’s cock fucking throbbed, the man biting his lower lip alluringly.  
Levi took the mushroom shaped head into his mouth and gave it a thorough suck – and Erwin fucking moaned shamelessly.

And that’s when Levi decided to get the man, beautifully aroused and thus relaxed, into the water.

He stood up, holding out his hand, nodding towards the water. “Shall we?”

Erwin didn’t respond, just took Levi’s hand, smiled, and got his body into motion.

Together, they climbed into the water and Jacob, Jimmy and Behring positioned themselves around the whirlpool. “Okay, do whatever you want,” Behring said once they were done and the cameras were rolling again.

The bubbling liquid all around them was warm and soothing, and Levi decided to get Erwin even more relaxed by making him drink the champagne. But first, he straddled the man again, his hands coming to rest on Erwin’s big shoulders, his thighs touching Erwin’s, and when their stiff cocks brushed each other, both of the men gasped, their eyes locking, and their lips pulling into a satisfied smirk.

Yes, Erwin seemed relaxed and confident. And that was great. It spurred Levi on. It aroused him.

He reached for one of the glasses of the champagne and took a sip. But he didn’t swallow. Instead, he grabbed Erwin’s head, holding it in place, and pressed his lips against the man’s – who instantly got what Levi was trying to achieve by opening op his mouth slightly and letting the fizzy substance flow into his own mouth and then his belly. Levi kissed him shortly, letting his tongue circle Erwin’s – while his hips were mimicking this motion, leading to their dicks rubbing against each other and Erwin’s fingers squeezing Levi’s butt, as if saying ‘keep doing that’. And Levi did. Both things. Transferring the champagne into Erwin’s mouth by kissing him and grinding against this big man underneath him. Until the glass was fully empty, Erwin’s cheeks flushed, and the man’s cock as hard as the marble all around them.

Then, Levi kissed him thoroughly, his hands pulling on the golden hair, his body pushing even more ferociously against Erwin’s – and Erwin responded by grinding against Levi harder, by pulling him with full force against his moist body, by rummaging his mouth with his big tongue, moaning slightly into Levi’s mouth, whose head had, yet again, began to spin.

That’s the moment Levi had been waiting for, his lips leaving Erwin’s with a loud smack. And when he looked into the man’s eyes, his pupils dilated, a shock wave of nervousness hit him and he had to swallow thickly, take a breather, call upon the energy he had just been feeling, bring it back – because he couldn’t lose this moment. Because he had to carry on. And he did.

He left a trail of kisses along Erwin’s jaw, bringing his mouth back to Erwin’s ear, whispering so softly the camera’s would not be able to pick up on his gentle words. “I’m going to push a finger into you now… okay?”

A moment of silence passed, Erwin’s fingers, that had been rubbing soothing circles onto the raven’s lower back, stopping.

And then…

And then they picked up on their little movements again, and Erwin… Erwin nodded. “Okay…” he whispered back – and Levi wanted to fucking scream, while also he wanted to slap himself, because his freaking knees were buckling, as he slid off of Erwin’s lap, coming to rest on the underwater seating place right next to him, feeling how Erwin spread his legs lightly.

He swallowed – and kissed Erwin again, his body pressing against Erwin’s side, who had put his arm around him now, pulling him against his form. And while they were kissing, Levi let his arm ever so slowly wander down Erwin’s upper body, grazing his pectorals, his stomach, brushing over his abdomen, stroking that beautiful cock for a couple of times, and thus making Erwin squirm a little, moving further down the man’s enormous balls… until he, still very slowly, reached Erwin’s ass, let his index finger wander up and down his crack, brushing his untouched hole a few times, until he stopped his digit right above it.

Languidly, he started massaging the ring of muscle, imitating the rotating movements of the kiss. Until he broke their mouth-to-mouth contact, looking Erwin right in the eyes, the man panting as he slowly pushed his finger inside of this… tight and hot and wet and enticing hole, and Erwin closed his eyes, threw his head back and gasped.

Or was it a moan?

_Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10.000 words that could be summarized as "they are getting ready to fuck"... 😅 I promise you, the next chapter will have no teasing - but only the real deal. I hope you enjoyed this update anyways. And once more: THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your feedback! This is so amazing. You make my day!


	4. Milky way

Levi’s heart was a bitch.

It was beating so hard and so fast, he wasn’t actually sure anymore whether it was still located in his chest or had untangled itself and moved up his throat, making it almost dry out, sending its wicked rhythm into every single part of his body, the drumming so loud, his ears had started to ring. 

He had his arm wrapped around Erwin’s waist, fingers pushing into the taunt flesh of the naked man’s hip, holding the giant porn star in place, their bodies touching under the water as well as above its unruly surface – and the gay icon’s hot and wet inner walls were clenching around the finger of his other hand, that Levi was ever so slowly, ever so carefully pushing into Erwin’s canal; still not sure whether the sound that had left the blond man’s mouth had been one of pleasure, one of agony or one of surprise. 

Maybe it had been a noise combining all three.  
Maybe it had been one purely stemming from pain and fear.

Because, yes, it was true: Erwin’s asshole _was_ stretched and Levi could feel the high amount of lube still inside of the man’s hole, now slowly mingling with the water. But it wasn’t stretched _enough_ yet. Not enough to take a cock. Not even enough to take three fingers, Levi reckoned. Because even if Erwin was relaxed, he was not relaxed _enough_ yet. And when the blond’s fingers suddenly gripped Levi’s shoulder _tight_, the raven-haired stopped his movement all together, now fully convinced Erwin wasn’t feeling _anything_ that could be described as enjoyable yet. At least concerning his ass.

For the man’s cock was still rock hard.  
And that was a good sign. 

_Right?_

Levi searched Erwin’s face for any type of signal, not wanting to continue without it. 

The man’s massive eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his eyes still closed, lips parted, low pants escaping his mouth, his broad and chiselled chest heaving visibly. But Erwin didn’t say anything. Didn’t do anything. And Levi was starting to get an idea why – all those memories of his own first time bottoming flooding his mind for a second time, now even more tangible than before. How he had been unsure of everything, how he had been embarrassed to communicate his needs to his partner, because he really hadn’t been able to understand them himself, not able to categorise the feelings being evoked within him when somebody else suddenly pushed a part of their body inside of his freaking _asshole_.

…and he was sure that Erwin was going through the same emotional rollercoaster right now. Only it was so much worse for him. Because unlike Levi, the blond man was not mentally prepared enough for this sexual act. He was forced to go through with it today, it hadn’t even been his own decision. And he wasn’t experiencing this with someone whom he had a long-term bond with. And even if the blond had confessed he felt okay doing it with Levi, they weren’t _alone_: There were _three_ other men standing _right next to them_, all of them _watching_. And what they were seeing, soon an audience of thousands of horny men and women would be looking at _on a screen_. Over and over again.

Fuck.

Levi carefully bent forward, pressing a soft kiss onto Erwin’s throat, kissing his way up gently, his lips touching Erwin’s lobe next, biting into it slightly. “Relax…” he whispered his repetition, and he was sure he felt Erwin shudder a bit as his breath brushed over the man’s shell. “Touch your dick, Erwin,” Levi added, licking his partner’s ear afterwards slowly, adding words he had heard the blond man say to so many other of his sexual partners on film already – “I promise, I’ll make you feel good…” – making the former top shudder once again and his inner walls clench slightly around Levi’s still inserted finger. And then something else left Levi’s nervous and uncontrolled mind and mouth. “I swear, I’m really good with assholes: I keep stuffing mine with dildos as thick as water bottles all the time and I have mind-blowing orgasms because of that – so if there’s _anybody_ who knows how to fucking stimulate _ass_, it’s _me_.”

…and that…

And that made Erwin actually laugh and open his eyes, turn his head to face Levi, their noses brushing slightly, before Erwin arched forward and pressed his lips against Levi’s, the hand that had been squeezing Levi’s shoulder raking into the raven-coloured hair now, scratching across Levi’s scalp; and the younger man’s eyes closed again, as Erwin’s tongue poked against his mouth and made him open it, to let their wet muscles touch yet again. 

And then he felt it. 

The movement of Erwin’s body. The man’s hand. Knew that Erwin had started stroking himself. He could feel it now, how the blond man’s ass moved lightly against his fingers in that slow but obvious rhythm – and Levi took that as the signal he’d been waiting for, beginning to move again, pushing his digits further inside, deeper, while rummaging Erwin’s mouth at the same time with his tongue.

_There… There…!_, he thought, his digit now fully buried in Erwin’s hole.

But he didn’t want to rush things. To overwhelm the blond. They had time. Behring had told him he should take things as slowly as he desired, that he wouldn’t push them to hurry up. The director had told Levi to go slowly, enjoy this, make it as sensual and intimate as possible. Hell, the man had even reminded him of not making Erwin come too fast – as if that was even possible with the man’s dedication and training, his famous stamina…

And so taking things slowly and carefully and delaying any kind of high was exactly what he, what _they_ were going to do.

So instead of starting to fuck Erwin with his finger, Levi started to circle it inside of the man, turning his hand slowly to the left in a 180-degree-angle, and then back to his original position, palm facing upwards. Over and over again. Smearing the lube still left from Erwin’s preparation all around his walls in this way, giving the man time to adjust to something foreign being inside of his ass. And all this while Erwin was stroking his hard dick and kissing Levi – until the latter slowly broke this intense exchange of saliva. But his intention was not one of taking a gush air. His intention was to intensify things for Erwin – in a way the man knew and liked.

Because Levi was not only an expert if it came to anal play. 

He was also an expert when it came to _Erwin Smith_.

As his (self-proclaimed) number one fan he was pretty confident in his visual expertise: From watching over 200 movies of Erwin Smith having sex, he knew all of the man’s pleasure points. And so he wasn’t surprised that when his mouth travelled along Erwin’s jawline to lock itself onto a – previously intentionally neglected – spot just where it ended, directly below Erwin’s right ear, the blond took a sharp inhale of air, and moaned seductively, when Levi chose to sink his teeth into the sensitive skin right there and then. Levi felt a shiver rippling through Erwin’s body, as well as his own, and licked the particular spot next, making Erwin squirm lightly under those ministrations – and another low sound of pleasure (yes, _pleasure_) escape those beautiful lips. And when Erwin’s fingers started caressing his scalp gently, Levi took that as a very obvious sign for him to carry on.

And so he did.

Licking, kissing, biting and sucking the delicate patch of skin, sometimes biting into Erwin’s lobe, just to come back to it immediately after; sometimes travelling a bit further down to the place where the man’s neck and shoulder joined, only to return to his most sensitive erogenous zone as quickly as possible. And all this while Erwin jerked himself off slowly – and Levi stirred his finger inside of the man, carefully starting to introduce new elements of motion, trying to combine them with the actions of his mouth.

While his tongue glided slowly over the special spot under Erwin’s ear, he slowly pulled out his finger, until only the tip of it remained pushed into the man’s sphincter. When he kissed the skin he had just moistened with his saliva, he moved his middle finger to join the other digit pressing into Erwin, and then pushed _both_ of them in at the same time as he bit into Erwin’s nice spot harshly – trying to get the man to focus on _that_ impact, instead of the digits pushing into his ass; and Levi shuddered when another enticing groan left Erwin’s mouth and he arched his body when both of Levi’s fingers were fully inserted.

Levi waited, nibbling on Erwin’s pleasure point, before he murmured a question into Erwin’s ear, louder this time, so that the men around them could hear, so that the cameras or rather their microphones could pick up on his words. Because even if Behring had told them to do whatever they wanted, he still expected some kind of dialogue to pass between them that was supposed to be accessible to the audience, part of the movie in the making. 

“Are you all right, my love…? Do you like my fingers inside your ass?” he purred, biting into that special spot he had been fondling with the whole time – and Erwin’s body moved, his ass inevitably pressing against Levi’s hand, his fingers thus pushing further against those hot walls; and the blond groaned, causing a cascade of shivers to crawl down Levi’s spine.

“Mmm, yeah…” Erwin groaned, aware of what Levi was doing; acting as his husband inside the film’s scenario. 

Then, Erwin’s fingers suddenly fisted into Levi’s hair and he pulled his head back rather harshly, excerpting his typical kind of dominance, which made Levi’s cock twitch against the giant’s massive thigh under water and something like a surprised moan leave his own mouth, onto which the blond pressed his lips in the next second, invading Levi’s cavern yet again with his tongue, snogging Levi once more like there was no freaking tomorrow – and that’s when Levi decided to move _another_ step forward, pushing his fingers further against the hot and soft walls of Erwin’s insides toward the front. 

Slowly, his tips searched for the most important participant of today’s shooting, finding it fairly quickly with his expertise on the anal subject, curling them and pressing against the walnut-shaped gland – and Levi knew he was lucky, the second a deep and surprised moan rattled Erwin’s throat and the man broke the kiss midway to let that sound escape into the open space.

…and what Levi saw in this moment, as his own eyes opened and he took in the facial expression of his co-star, would stay with him forever. Because… Because Erwin’s sapphires… Erwin’s wide open eyes were of such an intense shade at this moment that Levi felt as if he had sailed over an extremely dark spot on a wild and wicked ocean that he wanted to plunge himself into in order to discover the secrets of the deep sea world, laying bare all its mysteries. And Erwin’s mouth… It was twisted into a beautiful shape of lust, forming a very slight ‘o’, and his manly high cheek bones were dusted in a fairly rosy colour – and this completed view of magnificence almost blew Levi’s mind.

Because Erwin was feeling it.  
Because Erwin was liking it.

Right?

To test his theories, Levi used a little bit more strength to push his fingertips further against the blond man’s special bundle of nerves, giving his prostate the feel of a little message – and electrical sparks shot into every crevice of his body as he proved to be right; for Erwin moaned once again, his body jerking at the impact, head lolling back, eyes closing once more, his hot muscles practically clamping down on Levi’s fingers, sucking them in.

“Holy shit…” it escaped Levi’s mouth and Erwin snapped his head back, alerted, eyes reopened, searching for Levi’s gaze – but there was nothing wrong. Levi was merely enthralled. And excited. Agitated. He was already addicted. And he couldn’t stop himself from pushing against Erwin’s prostate _again_, making the blond squirm repeatedly. And when Erwin bit his lip, stifling yet another sound of lust, looking wanton as fuck, Levi lunged forward and sealed his mouth again with his own, eating up all those grunts and groans falling from the man’s loose lips as Levi dared to continue to fondle with his p-spot.

Yes.

Erwin felt it.

Yes.

Erwin _liked_ it.

…and Levi was so utterly fucking glad about it. Because _all_ gay men enjoying anal penetration at the receiving end was a myth, and he had to confess to himself that at the back of his mind he had feared that Erwin could be one of those guys who _didn’t_ like it at all; and that the blond would either abort the shoot and thus damage his career, or _fake_ liking it while suffering throughout the whole act – and if Levi had to be honest, the second option would have been the _real_ disaster for him.

But Erwin wasn’t faking it. Couldn’t be faking it. It felt too real. It looked too real. It sounded _too marvellous. _

“Fuck…!” Erwin mumbled against Levi’s mouth as the latter circled his prostate gland particularly thoroughly with his fingertips. “…fuck…!”

Levi groaned, pushing his own stiff cock further against the man’s thigh, kissing him once again, before pulling his lips a tiny bit away. “Is it good, baby? Or does it hurt?” he asked. 

Those lines were supposed to be sexy. But they were also uttered in order to make sure Erwin was really doing okay.

The man groaned again before answering, his voice low and… just simply _fucking hot_. “…it burns a little…” he confessed, lips pulling into a smirk, his big hand caressing Levi’s scalp, while he continued to pump himself with the other extremely slowly, “but it’s _good_…”

Levi licked over his own lips, his throat going tight yet again, thoughts mingling in his mind, starting to produce a very exotic cocktail. “…do you want a third finger, darling?” he then dared to ask. For one, to make sure that Erwin was also okay with this next step. For two, to kind of explain to the audience what was going on – because of the slightly bubbling water the camera wasn’t able to portray Erwin’s hole being fucked by his fingers, could only focus on their facial expressions and the general movement of their bodies, indicating just that.

And Levi shuddered, oh he shuddered, the inside of his belly raging in a vile turmoil, when Erwin breathed an affirmative against his wet mouth.

“…yes…!”

“…all right…” Levi whispered after a second of needing to digest this beautiful sight coupled with this beautiful sound, once more locking his mouth with Erwin’s while slowly pulling out his digits; and at the moment he pushed his tongue into Erwin’s cavity, he also pushed his fingers back into Erwin’s ass, the third one added as announced, making sure to aim straight for his partner’s special spot – and the instant his fingertips touched it, Erwin’s body trembled and a strangled sound escaped his lips, muffled by Levi’s mouth still locked tightly onto Erwin’s; it made crass shivers run down Levi’s spine, made his dick respond, still rock-hard and pressing feverishly against Erwin’s skin, Levi’s mind now running completely wild.

And then it hit him.  
Or rather: The realisation crashed through his brain like a fucking jumbo jet out of control.

He was finger-fucking _Erwin Smith_.  
And Erwin Smith was _writhing_ underneath his touches.  
_Erwin Smith’s_ fingers were twisted in his hair.  
The one and only Erwin Smith was _kissing him passionately_ while Levi played with his _prostate_.  
And it were _Erwin Smith’s_ hot and soft walls clenching around his digits, pulling him in.  
It was Erwin Smith who started _moaning shamelessly_ into their deep snogging as Levi increased the pace and the intensity of his fingers now moving in and out of the blond man’s hole underneath the bubbling warm water engulfing their naked bodies.

And Levi didn’t want to stop.

He increased the intensity once more, the speed, sharpened his aim at Erwin’s prostate – and made the man moan beautifully into his younger co-actor’s mouth. 

Until the man suddenly ended that kiss. “Haaa…!” it escaped his freed mouth, and it was a sound of desperation, a sound of wantonness, stemming from somewhere deep within the beautiful man, yet it was laced with alertness. And at the same time the hand that the man had been using to stroke himself during the whole time, left his hard dick and grabbed Levi’s arm almost harshly, stopping the man’s movements, pulling his fingers out of his hole – and it made Levi freeze, ask himself whether he had accidentally hurt Erwin, despite his nails having been trimmed the day before, if it had been too rough, if he had misinterpreted Erwin’s signals, his sounds, and if—

“_Too much_…” Erwin breathed against Levi’s lips, sealing them in the next second with his own, quickly, chastely, but firmly. “….too much…!” he repeated in a breathless, husky whisper, his fingers still wound around Levi’s arm now caressing his skin, his wet lips twisting into a slight and maybe even lightly surprised smirk – and Levi shuddered like he had never fucking shuddered before, realising that he hadn’t _hurt_ Erwin, but provoked quite the opposite.

He had made Erwin Smith almost _come…_

HOLY SHIT!

When this thought manifested itself in his brain, his mind started to swim again and his heart began to pound ferociously in his chest, blood rushing in his ears, and he couldn’t control his body anymore, both of his hands reaching up to cup Erwin’s face, forcing their lips back together, breaching them with his tongue, the wet muscle slipping back inside, where it fit so well, where it belonged, where it was meant to be. And Erwin kissed back, smiling and laughing lightly against Levi’s parted mouth, as if they were lovers in real life, as if they had truly just been happily married and were enjoying each other’s closeness, his own tongue darting out to meet Levi’s, embracing the smaller man tightly, pulling him back on top of his body, making Levi straddle him again; and the raven groaned hungrily, when his hard dick pushed against Erwin’s abdomen and he felt the famous porn star’s own length push back against his, making Erwin produce a similar sound, swallowed up by his younger partner. 

Levi hadn’t realised that he had started to grind against Erwin again – and Erwin had started grinding back. The man’s hands back on his ass, big fingers digging into Levi’s round cheeks. “Fuck…” Erwin whispered against Levi’s mouth, licking over his lips, to plunge his tongue back into Levi’s mouth. 

…and then a chuckle reached both of the men, coming from their right side. “All right, my two pretty, horny love birds,” Behring mumbled and pulled them back into the reality of filming a porno movie, ending their kiss and making both Levi and Erwin turn their heads slightly to look at the director, who was nodding slowly in a contented fashion, adjusting something on his camera, only to raise his gaze back to meet his stars’ eyes in the next second. “I want you on the bed now. We need to see a little bit more of Levi playing with Erwin’s ass,” the man explained calmly.

“O-okay…” Levi mumbled in response, his gaze shifting back to Erwin, who was pressing his lips together, seemingly a little bit distraught, but nodding nonetheless, confirming Behring’s direction, before turning his head back to face Levi. The raven-haired forced himself to smile then, wanting to reassure his partner, make Erwin know that it was going to be all right, still kind of overwhelmed with… _everything_. And Erwin’s flustered face, his dishevelled, wet hair and the faint smile retaking his lips and his stiff manhood still pressed against Levi’s cock didn’t make it any better. Any easier.

Levi was as excited as… he hadn’t been in a very long time. And it was so hard to keep his mouth shut, to prohibit himself from letting all those words of adoration pour out of his soul he had stored in there for Erwin. But he knew that he had to last, that he had to win this battle, if he didn’t want Erwin to see him as the creepy stalker fan-guy that Levi kind of… was. Not after he had gained somewhat of Erwin’s trust. Not after how well things had started to develop. Not after he had made the man almost _come_… In record time.

Behring and his two crew men started to gather their equipment in order to move into the bedroom. “We’ll set up everything. You can take your time drying off, and you can finish the champagne, if you like,” the porno movie director told them, smiling politely, and then turned right back to fix and gather up his equipment as did his two remaining staff members.

Erwin swallowed audibly. “So…” he mumbled, his hands leaving Levi’s ass, moving down to his thighs, to probably push his co-star gently off his lap. 

And something inside of Levi snapped.

He wasn’t having this.  
Couldn’t be having this.  
Didn’t _want_ to be having this.

Not yet.

And he had to accept that _this_, he could not prohibit from happening. It was too late. The creepy stalker fan-guy within him already activated and running on autopilot.

“W-wait,” he almost spat out, making Erwin pause his movement and look up into the raven’s face, who reached for the second glass of champagne still full, “drink this. Th-the guys need to set up first a-anyway. We have a… little bit of time, might as well… e-enjoy it,” he explained and relief washed through him as Erwin, reciprocating Levi’s (very nervous) smile, took hold of the glass.

“All right…” he mumbled, “but what about you? I don’t like drinking alone, you know…”

_There_. There was that fantastic smirk again that Levi knew so well from all the movies he’d seen, all the postings he had looked at for thousands of times, and all the freaking posters of Erwin Smith he had plastered all over the walls of his bedroom. The one that made his groin throb and spikes of arousal run through his veins like a blaze of raging flames.

“Oh, th-there’s s-still some left…! I-I’ll have some, too, sure thing,” Levi stammered, asking himself how it was fucking possible to turn from a confident and rather skilled lover into this pathetic, stuttering mess within just a fucking minute; and he couldn’t stop his dick from twitching and thus rubbing slightly against Erwin’s thick cock, making the blond man’s body jerk ever so slightly at the touch; and then the raven leaned back, wanting to grab the bottle with the fizzy alcoholic drink to fill the empty glass – but he was, just as Hange had truthfully stated before, such an (adorable) mess, his brain already thoroughly fucked by all the things that had happened between (a naked) Erwin Smith and him, that he fucking lost his balance, almost sliding off of Erwin’s body backwards, his arms flying up in the air as if he was a cartoon character while trying to save himself from plunging into the water – when Erwin’s big arm caught him, snaking around his waist, stabilizing him, pulling him back, pushing him against his chest, eliciting a gasp from the raven, as he practically crashed against the naked man rendering him almost completely brain- and thus useless. 

Erwin grinned. “I got this,” he then told Levi, pushing his glass into the raven’s hand, while he reached for the bottle. “Hold it,” he instructed and Levi complied, watching as Erwin leaned forward again, his other big hand still resting on his lower back, their dicks still pressed together, and grabbed the second and empty glass, which he then made Levi fill with champagne. It was a team effort, basically. “Thanks,” Erwin mumbled smirking in that very handsome way of his and made their glasses clink – and Levi was sure that he was blushing yet again, as he put the bottle aside.

The champagne warmed him up, just like the whiskey had done, and he wondered whether that would have been the appropriate moment to elegantly slide off his co-star’s body. He had prolonged their bodies touching, he could finally end it now, couldn’t he? He _should_ end it. Because they weren’t filming right now. They weren’t acting. They didn’t _have_ to be this close. They didn’t have to rub their pricks together. But… But he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. Because… Because this was Erwin fucking Smith, naked, right underneath him. It was Erwin Smith’s _cock_ touching him. And his moist and warm skin pressed against his. And he… Levi… Levi _liked_ it. He liked sitting in the man’s lap. 

He had straddled Erwin in this way at least a thousand times in his deepest fantasies. And he still wasn’t ready to end it. Even though he knew he should and he feared the moment Erwin would push him off to do just that, which would make things even more awkward.

But…

But that didn’t happen.

And it astonished the raven. Just as much as it made him happy.

Instead of ending their body contact, Erwin’s hand started to… The man started to stroke Levi’s back, his fingers travelling up and down the smaller man’s spine while both of them sipped on their champagne. And when Jacob, the last of the crew men, left the bathroom, Levi dared to speak up, in a hushed voice, because he just couldn’t contain himself anymore. Also, he didn’t want strange silence to engulf them.

“…are you all right?” he asked Erwin.

And Erwin smiled. “Yeah…” he replied, voice soft, lips pulled into a smile, “you really are fucking cute…” he repeated his compliment from before, and Levi gasped a little – and freaking choked on his champagne, coughing so hard, his body was rocking and he was making horrific sounds. “Y-you okay? …you want me to slap you on the back?” an ever so alerted Erwin asked, and Levi shook his head, tormented by his embarrassment, but thankfully slowly able to calm himself down, ending the disgusting gurgling sounds leaving his shameful mouth slowly.

“I-I’m f-fine…” he managed to say, his voice raspy – and there was that big hand again, rubbing soothing circles onto his lower back. And Erwin… Erwin was smiling. Gently, and softly, and just so beautifully. “Sorry…” Levi mumbled weakly. Feeling… ashamed, once again having managed to make a fool out of himself in front of his idol.

“Don’t worry about it,” Erwin reassured him, taking another big sip of champagne.

“It’s tasty…” Levi said, motioning towards the drink in his hand, and Erwin nodded. 

“Yeah…”

“Um…” Levi stammered, still focussed on wanting to keep their conversation running fluidly. But all his blood was drained from his brain, still pooling in the south, making him blurt out stupid stuff yet again, only adding to his prevalent embarrassment, his self-assigned self-prohibition obviously all forgotten. “Your cock _also_ tastes pretty good…”

…

The words had left his mouth, and Levi froze.  
And he frowned internally.  
He cursed himself.

For: Could he _be_ any more obvious?!  
He was indeed a _creepy stalker fan-guy_. 

Fucking great.

But Erwin… 

He…

Once again Erwin only chuckled, his hand not stopping its movement. “I’m honestly looking forward to have a taste of _your_ cock, Levi…” the blond then responded. And that just made Levi’s heart flutter wickedly and his hands shake, and he searched his mind for an appropriate answer, and hell: was there even one? What the hell was he supposed to say to that?! 

What…

And…

Like…

_Holy fucking crap! _

Erwin Smith had just told him he was looking forward to _blowing him_…!

ERWIN. SMITH. WANTED. TO. BLOW. HIM.

JESUS! FUCK!

And then, Levi’s mind still spinning out of control, the raven opened his mouth, and… And he… And then… And then their little one-on-one time ended, with Behring re-entering the spacious luxury bathroom, passing on an important information. “We’re ready for you guys. All right?”

“Okay,” Erwin responded – because Levi was just too dumbfounded to react in any other way, blinking, still trying to digest what Erwin Smith had just said to him, and what was about to happen on that bed over there in the adjacent room, and what horrific thing he was just about seriously to blurt out and… “You all right, Levi?” this soothing, deep, masculine voice reached him and when his eyes refocused, he was staring into the most beautiful blue orbs he had ever seen in his whole entire fucking life and actually needed a few good seconds to realise that his co-star was looking at him with a slightly concerned expression.

“Yeah,” he quickly answered, clearing his throat and screaming at all of his limbs to fucking finally move and enable himself as well as Erwin to get up and out of the water, “sorry,” he added, trying to grin, which probably ended up in yet another one of his pathetic grimaces, “I spaced out,” he said, sliding off Erwin (mourning the loss of body contact instantly) and climbed out of the tub, Erwin following him – he could hear the distinct splashes of water this huge body produced as the blond man rose to his feet and stepped out.

And Levi tried.

He really, really _tried_ not to stare at the man’s naked body when Erwin was drying himself off.

But he failed.

He failed so, so badly and Erwin caught him gawking again, snickering repeatedly, making Levi almost jump, meeting the blond man’s intense gaze with wide open eyes. Like a deer caught in the headlights. And for a moment it seemed as if Erwin wanted to say something, his mouth opening – but then he paused; just as his gaze shifted and those blue sapphires were focussing on Levi’s still extremely hard dick. Because the raven-haired simply could _not_ calm down, the mere presence of (a very naked) Erwin Smith making him aroused as fuck. Just as much as stupid as fuck. And for a short moment he even wished Hange was here to stop him babbling all this fucking bullshit, that his manager would interject, interrupt, cut him off and save him from embarrassment.

And as his thoughts were wrestling with each other in Levi’s brain, silence developed between him and Erwin, and it felt awkward, making the black-haired swallowed dryly, choosing to push forward yet again, mumbling an apology. 

And, once again, his stupid state of nervousness muting his brain (and without Hange here), it made him blurt out something extremely… terrifying. “I’m sorry about constantly staring at you,” he said. Which should have been enough. But Levi added: “I just can’t believe I’m actually really shooting with you today,” which would probably still have made his statement count as sort of desperate but _okay_, if it wasn’t for the _last_ words he added with heated cheeks, “I’ve fantasized about this practically all my life...”

And here he was again: _Creepy stalker fan-guy_. At his best.

It would’ve been hilarious – if it wasn’t so horrific.

“Um…” Levi mumbled quickly, as Erwin squinted, putting his towel away, and took a step forward with nothing covering his trained, exposed body, his cock semi-hard, nipples erect, fuck! Levi just couldn’t stop _staring_ and… And what the hell was Erwin Smith doing to him and his poor brain anyway? He had never behaved like this. Never. Not with anybody else. Not at any other shooting. Not in any private situation.

Erwin Smith was fucking it.  
This guy was _totally_ screwing with his brain.

“You dreamed your whole life of _fucking_ me?” Erwin suddenly enquired, somehow alerted – or… or was it… Was it subtle anger ringing in his tone? Was he… Was Erwin annoyed that…

Oh.

Oh!

Suddenly Levi realised what Erwin meant. “No!” he nearly snapped. “N-n-n-no!” he assured lifting his hands up in a defensive stance. “I-I didn’t mean th-that I was dreaming about _topping_ you, I never would have dared! A-and I wouldn’t even _try_ to do it, if I d-didn’t _h-have_ to, I swear, Mr. Smith! I-I a-a-always wanted to be fucked _by_ you, cause I’m usually a b-bottom, and I really like bottoming and—“

It was Erwin’s laughter that made him stop.

And it wasn’t a bitter sound. Or an evil one. It wasn’t sarcastic.

It was sincere, and refreshing, and the man’s face was totally relaxed, and it was gentle and... “Mr. Smith…” he repeated the way Levi had subconsciously addressed him, probably a result of the huge respect he harboured for the porn star, shaking his head and chuckling – and then Erwin closed the distance between them, just like he had done in the other bathroom just before his preparation, leaving almost no room between their bodies that were missing the clothes this time around, which made the whole thing even more intense. Plus: Now Levi knew how this naked body felt under his fingers, around them, how Erwin’s tongue and cock tasted, how… 

Levi fell silent as Erwin towered over him, looking down at him, their eyes locking, both of the men just staring at each other. And it tore at his heart, so fiercely, so badly, it almost hurt to keep all of his emotions in check, in a cage, forcing himself to throw the key into a deep fictitious ocean, nearly biting his tongue now in order not to say some more embarrassing stuff, fearfully asking himself whether Erwin would repeat the question from before, asking Levi if he had a crush on him…

Because he did.  
And it was _massive_.  
And he could _never_ tell Erwin about this.

And now wasn’t even the time to think about it.

He had to focus, he reminded himself. He had to focus on making Erwin feel good. Comfortable. Secure.

_Focus!_

Levi startled as the blond man’s hand reached out to touch his face, repeating what the man had done in the elevator, pushing a single strand of black hair behind Levi’s ear, smiling in a way that could definitely be called tender. And just as the blond opened his mouth once again to say something, Behring’s voice disturbed their semi-private time again.

“You coming?” the director enquired, somewhat impatiently, and Levi, despite wanting to call the guy a wanker and shout at him to fuck off and stuff a dick in his mouth, knew they had to go now. And so did Erwin. 

“We’re coming,” the man announced turning around.

And as Levi saw Erwin’s back turning towards him and his brain registered that the man was indeed leaving the confines of the bathroom to enter the main shooting space, something inside of him snapped again. In a good and professional way this time, bringing him back into this reality, back to what he had just tried reminding himself of.

“Erwin,” he said his co-star’s name in a serious manner, making the man stop dead in his tracks and look back at him over his shoulder. “I’m going to open you up some more before I enter you, and I’ll be using an extra big amount of lube, okay? A-all you need to do is relax, and… It’s gonna feel better and better, I-I promise…” it all came pouring out of him. But this time… This time Levi wasn’t embarrassed by his words. Because these were things that needed to be told. “Just close your eyes and forget about the cameras.”

Erwin didn’t respond. He just kept staring at Levi. 

And the latter suddenly started to panic. Because…

Maybe he had said _too_ much?  
Had it sounded as if he _knew_ this was Erwin’s first time?  
Was he too concerned?  
Did he treat Erwin like a virgin?

Fuck.

He did.

Didn’t he?

DIDN’T HE?!

Erwin’s repeated low chuckling gave him a glimmer of hope. And when the man smiled, another wave of relief washed over the raven. “See,” the man mumbled, “this is why I am glad that today’s shoot is with _you_, Levi.” Erwin paused shortly, and then continued. “I heard some of your former co-stars tell tales of you being blunt, gloomy and distanced, some even said ill-mannered. But I never listen to opinions given by others. I like to see and find out for myself. And what I can say is that you’re not just a very confident young man: you are also very kind and considerate. Cute from the outside _and_ the inside. I realised this as soon as I met you in the elevator, and you just keep validating my assumption. It makes me glad, and you very different than a lot of your rookie colleagues. And probably that’s also the reason they’re gossiping about you, because their envious,” Erwin finished, smiling.

And the world… It stood still for a repeated time for Levi this day, his cheeks glowing, heart restarting to beat fast and heavy in his chest, or wherever it had ventured now, and he couldn’t believe the words he was hearing, couldn’t believe the warmth that had started to spread inside of his chest. And his throat was so tight, he couldn’t respond. However, he didn’t have to say anything, for Erwin wasn’t finished yet, now completely turning back to face Levi again.

“To be quite honest with you,” the blond added, his smile turning into his signature cheeky grin, that Levi adored so much, “you have already _made_ me feel good. I have _no_ doubt that you will continue to do so. You’re a magnificent bottom, what I can tell from having seen your movies and talked to some of the men that have fucked you. But… I think you’ll also be a magnificent top…” Erwin made another small pause, and Levi’s lips moved into a shaky smile on their own volition, the raven hoping he wasn’t making a strange face, but that Erwin could see, could really, really see, how much his words actually meant to him. “Now, c’mon...” the blond man picked up again, a bit more cheerful, cheeky, “_let’s have sex_.” At this, Erwin smirked at Levi and held out his hand for the noirette to grab – and Erwin’s palms and fingers welcoming him, intertwining with his digits, they felt so… They felt so good, so wonderful, so… 

It all just felt so _perfect_.

It felt so wholesome, Levi almost forgot about the cameras awaiting them in the penthouse’s main, splendid bedroom. Erwin’s touch felt so perfect, that it almost felt natural when the man suddenly embraced him and kissed him deeply. It felt so nice, that Levi didn’t think of how to react and just followed his natural instinct, wrapping his arms around this huge and naked body and pressing his equally uncovered form against it, pushing his tongue into Erwin’s mouth while pushing his dick against the muscled thigh, groaning against those thick and moist lips.

And then… 

Suddenly… 

Erwin’s words still echoing in his mind, the man’s body feeling warm against his skin, his wet tongue wrestling with his, Erwin’s long fingers pushing into his flesh – a mind-blowing, strong desire overwhelmed Levi, almost making him burst on the inside, almost making his vision go white as if he was already experiencing a bone-shattering orgasm.

It was a powerful desire coupled with today’s scripted task.

It mingled like intoxicating liquids in a metal shaker, blending together into a concoction that was dangerous and hot and _heavy_, wiping out any other feeling occupying Levi’s chest.

He grabbed Erwin’s shoulders and started to push him back, but not in order to break up their kisses. No. He started walking Erwin backwards, towards the big bed, his own body pushing the giant in that direction, while their lips and tongues stayed connected with only little pauses to adjust the angle of their heads or take little breaths to keep going – and Erwin obliged, didn’t protest, didn’t even flinch. He understood what Levi was doing the second the raven had started it. It was just as if… As if they had always done this. 

Just like with their kisses it felt as if they were able to read other blindly. There was… a growing _connection_. At least Levi felt this way. And he knew that even if this was just another one of his fantasies, he would gladly swallow this placebo when it gave him this much happiness and arousal as it was doing right now.

They collapsed onto the bed, Levi climbing on top of Erwin who had moved up a little to place them in the middle of the mattress, kissing the man intensively until their lips parted with a loud plopping noise – and that’s when Levi send his mouth onto an in-depth tour all around Erwin’s naked body. 

He started with peppering kisses onto Erwin’s jaw, reaching his ear, licking the shell and the lobe – only to move back down onto that special spot of the blond, grazing it with his teeth, making Erwin gasp and the man’s big fingers dig into his upper arms, encouraging, enticing, as Levi sucked on that patch of sensitive skin; so hard, he was sure he was leaving a bruise.

And the thought of _marking_ Erwin Smith, even if it would last only for a few days, aroused him even further, making the inside of his abdomen nearly boil and his groin nearly ache.

Erwin shuddered as Levi’s wet tongue drew lines down his throat and when his teeth sank down onto the junction of his neck and shoulders. His small but skilful mouth then moved along his collarbone to finally feast on Erwin’s glorious pectorals – over which he had come like at least a dozen hundred times in his dirty fantasies while jerking off in his bedroom or under the shower, just as often as the imaginary Erwin had climaxed onto his chest, his face, his mouth, his ass, fuck, the whole of Levi’s body.

Levi’s (very real) lips brushed through Erwin’s (very real) fine chest hair, the golden tiny locks tickling him, carrying a faint scent of musk and that fruity gel the man must have used on his body when showering; and the sound that escaped the blond man’s mouth when Levi’s mouth reached his right nipple and experimentally flicked his tongue over the hard bud was… _mesmerizing_. Levi wanted to hear it again. _And again and again and again. _

And so he provoked just that, locking onto the man’s sensitive nub, circling it with his tongue, grazing it with his teeth, kissing it, sucking it in, biting down on it, making Erwin gasp then and his body arch, the man’s fingers digging into his skin even further – but not to push him off, not to warn Levi. It was a movement born of and thriving on lust. A gesture of further encouragement, that send Levi’s mouth off to the other side, repeating his slow and sensual ministrations on the left nipple, making Erwin involuntarily squirm underneath him when he intensified the play by pinching and fondling the man’s other bud with his fingers, doubling the sensations Erwin was experiencing; and truly _liking_.

Levi wasn’t surprised by these reactions, by Erwin’s contented moans, and his low ‘oh yeahs’ falling from his lips – after all, he knew the man liked his partners to play with his chest. But he had not expected the intensity of feelings _he_ would be getting out of this, being the one to _make_ Erwin Smith behave like this, groan like this, wriggle this like, sigh like this.

Was it the champagne or was it the arousal, were it maybe his feelings for Erwin, that made him feel so light-headed, so giddy, so hungry that he didn’t care about anything anymore and completely forgot about the cameras all around him, focussing on the man’s mouth, his genitals, Erwin’s nipples?

Levi didn’t care. And quite frankly, he had stopped thinking a long time ago. He only acted, driven by instinct, drunk on Erwin Smith’s pheromones.

He kissed, nibbled, tasted with his mouth as he moved down the blond man’s body and stroked, pinched and scratched with his fingers, leaving small marks all around Erwin’s torso, his stomach, his hard abdomen, his sides, until his tongue, following the fine trail of golden hairs down south, finally collided with the man’s exposed wet cock head – and the guttural moan that left Erwin’s mouth when Levi gave his moist tip a thorough suck made Levi’s ears ring yet again. 

Urgency surged through him, setting Levi on fire from the inside, and he took the whole of Erwin’s cock into his mouth, the man’s fingers raking into his hair, fisting it, scratching over his scalp, and another deep “oh, fuck, yeah…!” tumbled out of Erwin’s lewd mouth, his lips swollen from all the deep and intimate kisses they had already shared during the shoot, making Levi’s skin tingle and lust stir inside of his abdomen, shooting right into his cock.

“Mmm… oh god… just like that…” Erwin groaned as Levi took all of the blond porn star’s thick length into his mouth all at once, fighting his gag reflex like the pro that he was, swallowing, making his throat constrict itself all around the very sensitive tip, making Erwin’s whole body arch up and a desperate sound escape his lips – and that’s the exact moment Levi decided to step up his game, letting Erwin’s cock slide out of his mouth, both staying connected by a frail stripe of saliva for a few seconds.

He turned to Behring who had been filming a close-up of the blow job. “I need lube,” he told him, and the man immediately sprang to action, snatching it from one of the big nightstands and throwing it over to Levi, who caught it effortlessly.

“Go crazy,” he added and Levi smirked – surprised that he was able to, considering the amount of nervousness he had started to feel the closer he got to actually _having sex_ with Erwin, intercourse, anal penetration, topping him; fuck, there were so many lewd ways to describe what was about to happen. But it was his lust that was dominating in this moment, his desire to please Erwin Smith, and probably that’s why he was able to contain himself a little bit better than before, to smirk, and to stop his hands from shaking too much, pushing his loose nerves to the back.

He searched for Erwin’s gaze as he opened the tube and started to coat the fingers of his right hand with the translucent gel.

Erwin was watching him intently, but his eyes were dreamy nonetheless. As if clouded by a very faint veil. His cheeks were reddish – as were the enticing marks Levi had left using his mouth and teeth on his upper body. The man’s hands were resting on the bed sheets now, his manly chest heaving visibly as he breathed in and out. And Erwin’s cock… it was completely wet from Levi’s spit and as hard as metal, lying on the man’s beautiful flat abdomen, twitching slightly, as if waving at Levi, calling out to him to touch it again.

“Wait,” Jimmy’s voice reached him, and as Levi’s gaze shifted he watched the man take a languid shot of Erwin spread out like that on the mattress, the camera moving from his face slowly down his body until the lens was focussing on his twitching cock – and Levi’s, that was practically facing it, the younger man now kneeling between these massive, spread thighs of his co-actor. “All right,” Jimmy whispered and retreated into the background, as far as that was possible, considering he was filming them and their actions non-stop. 

But Levi didn’t care, was quick to forget about it again, focussing on the naked body laid out in front of him instead, and the lube on his fingers. “You ready, baby?” he purred – both as Levi Ackerman _and_ Levi _Smith_, asking Erwin this for real as well as in the frame of the newlyweds-scenario.

A few seconds of silence passed. And then Erwin, breathed: “…yeah…” And it was the most seductive sound Levi had ever fucking heard in his life – and he had heard Erwin breathe out hundreds of ‘yeahs’ in his life; but hearing it on a loudspeaker while watching the man on screen was no comparison to having him moan this right in front of him, addressing him, with their bodies touching. Another surge of arousal travelled through the noirette’s body and he shuddered, before sinking down onto that cock again with his mouth, while pushing his fingers into Erwin’s ass the same time. 

…and he had to correct himself immediately. For the deep and lustful sound, a hybrid of a groan and a gasp, that Erwin let out… _that_ was the most seductive sound Levi had ever fucking heard in his whole entire bloody life.

He didn’t play around this time, knowing that Erwin was now truly stretched as well as relaxed and aroused enough – he went straight for the man’s prostate, making Erwin’s fingers dig back into his hair, scratch his scalp, the big body flinch, the thick cock throb in his mouth as Levi sucked, licked and slurped on it and fucked Erwin’s ass with three of his fingers, circling them, massaging the man’s prostrate, expanding them to further widen the blond man’s anal canal; so that his walls would fit his cock without any major discomfort.

He shuddered at the thought of fucking this man, giving Erwin’s tip a particularly hard suck at that, eliciting a particularly loud moan from the man, while he pushed his fingers particularly strongly against his sweet spot. 

…and then fucking Behring interrupted them again, and even though Levi knew the man was right, he wanted to punch him and repeatedly tell him to shut the hell up and just fuck off with all the rest of his crew and leave them alone so that they could screw each other’s brains out for the remainder of the day whatever way they wanted. “Stop sucking him off and let me get a good shot of you fingering him,” Behring demanded in a calm tone, and Levi reluctantly complied.

Because, yes, this was still _porn_. And people wanted to see this, _all_ of it. 

They wanted to get a good look at Erwin’s ass being stuffed, his prostate being fondled with. They wanted to see the ring of muscles of his most private parts clenching and unclenching, sucking in Levi’s digits – and later his cock. And Levi had to somewhat shamefully admit that he wasn’t any better than the anonymous audience he was thinking about. Because when watching porn himself… he also wanted to see it. And he particularly enjoyed the shots of Erwin’s big fingers sinking into the holes of his shooting partners, or the man’s tongue when he was rimming them, which didn’t happen very often, but when it did, then, _boy_… was he getting off on it, re-watching the scenes like five times in a row, and…

Yeah.

So as a porn actor he had to deliver just _that_.

And considering that people would be seeing Erwin bottom for the very first time, Behring _had_ to include those shots. They were of utter importance. Levi knew.

That’s why he let Erwin’s wet cock slide out of his mouth yet again, moving slightly to the side, and carefully grabbed Erwin’s left thigh, lifting it up, spreading him further open, enabling the cameraman a better look at his ass and his stretched hole – and what Levi was doing to it. And Erwin didn’t protest. After all, even if this was his first time of receiving anal play, he was an experienced actor, and so he, too, knew that this is the way it had to be done. And so he endured it, didn’t even furrow his brows or tense up.

And when Levi looked deep into his eyes, he reciprocated his gaze, his mouth slightly opened, releasing more of those enthralling sounds of pleasure as Levi slowed his movements down, languidly pulling out his fingers, to push them back in the same snail-like pace, circling them within Erwin’s walls, and, after a time in which he had given Behring a very long show of finger-fucking Erwin Smith and making the blond moan and touch his cock in the same painfully slow speed, he kept his fingers buried deep in his partner’s ass and focused on his prostate only. Massaging it with circular, strong movement of his fingertips, making Erwin hiss and gasp and pump his dick harder, free hand fisting into the sheets, eyes closing shut, head jerking back, body off the bed – until Behring moved away, mumbling in a very content and maybe even aroused way “yeah… that’s good… that’s fucking good…”

And when Erwin re-opened his eyes – the gaze Levi was met with was something otherworldly. Something so deep, so exotic and so powerful, it made Levi’s breath hitch.

And then he was attacked.

There was no other word for it.

He didn’t even see it coming.

Just felt Erwin grab his shoulders, hauling him off onto his side, moving him swiftly onto his back, mounting him, his massive knees pushing into the mattress on either side of Levi’s waist, and Levi blinked, dumbfounded and fascinated and just completely overwhelmed with _everything_ again.

“Lube,” Erwin requested, whispering harshly, and Behring jumped up even quicker than he had done when Levi had asked for it, almost tripping over his own feet like Levi had done in his office, the whole day actually.

“…_ofcourse_!” the old man mumbled and the tube nearly slipped out of his hands as he tried to hand it over to the blond.

“Thanks,” Erwin muttered, eyes locked with Levi’s, who couldn’t move, not even an inch, he couldn’t even blink anymore, shivers crawling up and down his body as he watched Erwin smear his own hand with a good amount of the liquid made for fucking – and then he gasped and heat swamped him and took his breath away as Erwin reached behind himself, touching Levi’s cock with his lubed-up hand, spreading the thick gel all around it, while he pumped him slowly and carefully.

“…ffffffuck…!” Levi moaned, as the intensity of the touch started to sink in, something heavy stirring in his abdomen, in his balls, while his mind was yet again running a crazy marathon of thoughts.

_Erwin Smith_ was touching his dick.

_Erwin Smith_ was coating _his cock_ with lube.

Because _Erwin Smith_ would _fuck himself_ on his prick in just a few seconds…!

“…oh god…” Levi’s hands moved on their own, touching the man’s big, muscled thighs, almost bruising them because he couldn’t control his own strength anymore, heightened by his arousal that seemed to have reached a newly found peak, making him almost feel dizzy. Breathing erratically, he stared Erwin, towering over his body, drinking in the sight of this beautiful, naked and aroused man fondling with his cock, staring back at him. And the expression on Erwin’s face, _Jesus_… 

Swollen lips parted, big brows slightly furrowed, cheeks practically glowing. This was the most erotic expression Levi had _ever_ seen.

And then it began.

The descent.

Steadying Levi’s cock with his fingers wrapped around his girth, Erwin started to lower himself down onto his dick and…

“Stop,” Behring mumbled – and this time Levi couldn’t stop the frustrated groan leaving his mouth. Making Erwin’s lips twitch up into a slight smirk. “Levi, grab Erwin’s ass cheeks and spread them for me, will you, darling?” Behring continued to mumble, while positioning himself and the camera behind Erwin, between Levi’s spread legs.

Because of course he wanted to get a good and close shot of Levi’s dick breaching Erwin’s asshole. Hell, Levi couldn’t even blame the guy. Those scenes were gold, he knew.

He just hoped Erwin was okay with this, searching for the man’s gaze, his consent, before even starting to follow direction and move his hands to the desired destination. And when their eyes met again, Erwin gave him a small smile, nodding faintly, almost unnoticeably; but Levi got it, responded with an equally soft nod – and only _then_ let his fingers travel round Erwin’s big form hovering above him, touching his round and firm and hot and glorious ass, fingers digging into the taunt and at the same time wonderfully soft flesh of his butt cheeks, spreading them to each side, just as Behring expected, exposing Erwin’s stretched and slickened hole to the lens. “…perfect…” the director mumbled, “…aaaand… _action_…”

Levi almost rolled his eyes at this command so out of place on the set of a porno movie, but then his attention was somewhere completely else, eyes focussing on Erwin’s tall body setting itself into motion, his hands feeling the movement as well, his dick twitching with the man’s fingers still wrapped around it, holding his prick up – and the moment his bared cockhead touched the loose ring of muscles, Levi’s eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth opened and he released a bone-rattling moan; because this wet and hot contact on his sensitive spot was so intense, and coupled with the knowledge of what was happening, heightening his nervousness as well as his thorough arousal. “…fuck…!” he groaned, forcing his eyes to re-open.

Because he wanted to see everything.  
Because he wanted to look at Erwin impale himself on his cock.  
Levi wanted to watch every second of it, store it in his mind forever, replay those scenes over and over again whenever he would feel like it.

And also… He wanted to be alert, wanted to watch out for Erwin, to be able to pick up on any warning sign to act accordingly. And…

_Fuck_… he thought, taking in all of the man’s beauty once again, forcing himself to look into Erwin’s face, and not at his nether region, watching his own cock slowly disappear inside of the blond’s ass. Biting his lip and stifling another deep moan that made him want to close his eyes once again, he remained strong, focussing on Erwin’s eyes and lips, as millimetre after millimetre of his length was inserted into Erwin’s ass. 

And when Levi’s tip completely breached the sphincter – and the raven groaned between clenched teeth, his toes curling and his abdomen tensing up due to this profound sensation – the blond man let go of Levi’s cock and placed one of his large and hot hands onto Levi’s rip cage, while wrapping the fingers of his other hand around his own dick, stroking himself back to full hardness slowly; and Levi couldn’t stop himself from taking a short peak at the stiff flesh in Erwin’s hand, as well as at his own dick disappearing in this hot and tight and moist space, wrapping itself around him, pushing down on him, squeezing his length all around.

“Shit…!” he breathed out harshly, fingers unconsciously digging deeper into Erwin’s butt cheeks, making the man gasp. But maybe that sound escaped Erwin’s mouth rather because of the penetration, because of Levi’s extremely hard dick pushing into his asshole. The first dick ever exploring this lewd and private part of the blond porn star’s body.

“Ugh…” Erwin was panting audibly now, blue orbs closed and head tilted slightly back as he sank further down on Levi’s cock. And the latter watched the blond man’s face working through the initial discomfort and adjustment to his girth, starting to gently rub small soothing circles onto his co-stars globes, whispering words of encouragement.

“…slowly… you’re doing so good… you _feel_ so good… breathe, Erwin… Breathe… There… _There you go_…”

…until Erwin had taken his cock, which was of an impressive size considering Levi’s height, wholly inside of him, a strangled sound escaping Levi’s lips. Because nothing, _nothing_, could have prepared Levi for what this felt like, being buried in Erwin Smith’s ass completely. Absolutely fucking _nothing_. 

Even though this wasn’t his first time to top another man, he would have never imagined how tight Erwin’s ass would be, despite having been stretched so thoroughly, how searing hot, how absolutely freaking arousing; how it was almost too much already, even though it had only just started. The feeling of the man’s internal, strong, big muscles clutching around his cock made him afraid he would come as fast as a fucking teenager, not able to please Erwin at all in any kind of way, not able to last through the first thrust, an overwhelming thought moving into the centre of his mental attention.

He was as deep inside of Erwin as he could be, the slickened up walls around as hot flames of a churning fire. And that knowledge fuelled him, drove him towards the edge, and Levi knew that he was already losing control, calling upon every fibre of his being in order to stop himself from senselessly thrusting upwards, sure his length was already pulsating desperately.

Erwin opened his eyes and looked down on him. And Levi’s breath hitched. 

The man’s gaze was intense, the blue almost black, and Levi squeezed his butt cheek’s, as a means of telling him… telling him what? That he wanted him. That he needed Erwin to move. That this was fucking magnificent and that he desired more. But that Erwin should take his time. For _he_ was the one in control. He was in charge. And god… he felt _so good_ around Levi’s cock.

Slowly, not breaking their eye-contact and not stopping his hand from stroking himself languidly, Jimmy’s camera focussed on this action, Erwin began to move – and Levi couldn’t help himself. Let go of Erwin’s butt cheeks and grabbed the man’s hips instead, wanting to feel the building power and rhythm as Erwin started to fuck himself on his prick.

Still slowly. Still carefully. Still somewhat insecurely.

But the man was feeling it.

At least, the sounds of pleasure – loud gasps, elongated moans and deep groans – where indicating this. And they made Levi’s blood boil, his toes curl, his abdominals clench. They were making him bite his bottom lip, reply to Erwin’s noises with the same song of desire. Because the tight, hot walls all around his cock were making him just simply go crazy.

Suddenly, Erwin let go of his cock, his upper body leaning backwards, arms reaching in the same direction, both of his hands wrapping around Levi’s lower legs, steadying himself why he planted the bottoms of his feet firmly on either side of Levi’s body. Then, Erwin lifted himself up. So much, until the only thing remaining pushed into his asshole was Levi’s fat cockhead. And then, the man slowly lowered himself back down on the whole length, pulling one deep, long, hoarse moan from Levi’s throat, until the younger man was fully buried in his blond idol’s ass again.

“…holy shit…” Levi gasped, his hands now resting on the man’s thighs, rubbing them, squeezing them uncontrollably, so aware of the wedding band around his finger again, making his head spin, “you feel so fucking good… baby…” he moaned, and Erwin smirked, but only shortly, because his lips parted just a second later, as he swivelled his hips, making Levi’s cock stir inside of him, push against his walls, his special spot, Levi could tell, could feel it, see, hear it – for Erwin’s head tilted backwards, his fingers wrapped themselves harder around Levi’s legs, and a guttural and somewhat surprised sound left his throat, ringing in Levi’s ear, making his heart flutter, arousal shoot through the lanes of his internal, erotic centre, making it almost impossible to bear, impossible to remain his hips still. “Oh, fuck – that’s it…!” Levi rasped uncontrolled, fingernails now digging into Erwin’s flesh, making his co-actor hiss – and then moan again, as Erwin started to finally, freaking, really move up and down on his cock, gaining speed, and intensity, and power.

Until he was literally pounding his ass up and down Levi’s cock. To the fucking hilt. Levi’s balls slapping against Erwin’s crack, Erwin’s own prick and testicles slamming against his muscled abdomen. And it was… It was… _This was pure fucking magic_. Everything.

Erwin clamped down on Levi, his inner muscles tightened and caressed Levi’s hard and leaking prick. The heat that had surrounded him all this time suddenly intensifying, almost growing unbearable, too hot, moving through him and making him feel as if every cell of his body was being set on fire, one by one. And Levi’s breath hiccupped in his chest as instinct took over – and the last of his control crumbled. 

He grabbed Erwin’s hips once more, sure he was leaving bruises, and as he did so, Erwin’s head snapped back up and the man looked at him, his mouth still hanging open, releasing those kinky sound of manly pleasure Levi’s cock was causing inside of his ass – and Levi feels almost drunk on pleasure, high. It was ecstasy. Pure ecstasy.

And then it became even more, as Levi started to jerk and rotate his hips upwards, meeting Erwin thrust for thrust, his hands on Erwin’s hips pulling him down at the same time, intensifying each meeting, making him venture and push even deeper into the man’s ass, each movement charming a very desperate and very lewd sound from the older man’s mouth, mingling with Levi’s low curses and breathy moans, as he started to fuck into Erwin harder and Erwin started to slam himself down onto his cock even more ferociously, his right hand travelling back towards his genitals, starting to pump his cock in the same rhythm. Until it was almost messy.

Because it was hot. It was wild. Untamed, uncivilized even. Both men following their most primordial needs, totally giving into their carnal desires severed from any other human requirements. And Levi’s head was spinning as much as never before. For Erwin’s hot tight heat was sucking Levi in, the whole room filled with laboured breathing and skin slapping harshly against skin – until it all became too much, too fast, too hard to bear, and a shock of pleasure suddenly ricocheted to all Levi’s nerve endings, indicating his one and only primitive goal: _release_.

He felt the first tremor shake him to the core, and he nearly wailed as his cock throbbed, his body shuddering into spams, as Erwin’s walls suddenly clenched around him so harshly, he though his cock was going to become one with them, and as he opened his eyes – when had he closed them? – he understood why, watching Erwin’s scrunched up face, hearing him curse vile things, while his cock spurted thick white cum all over the man’s abdomen, some of the thick juice covering Levi’s body. 

…and that was just it. That was just fucking _it_. Levi’s cock practically burst, his body giving up, not able to take any more of this vivid and violent pleasure, releasing all of the built-up pleasure into Erwin’s tight and hot channel, filling the man’s ass with copious amounts of his bitter cum, the tension draining out of his body, out of every single cell, every bone, with every pump, with every spurt, every squirt – until his balls were nearly painfully empty, and a last, elongated moan left his throat, before his body went limp, and his vision black for a few seconds, his hands falling down and onto his sides as strength completely left him.

“…fuck…” he heard himself breathe out, eyes closed, nearly drifting off, experiencing what was happening around him as if through black, thick curtains.

He felt Erwin lift himself off of his flaccid cock slowly, felt his dick slipping out of this hot wonderland, making his body involuntarily flinch. Behring’s muffled voice reached him, murmuring something to Erwin about spreading his ass cheeks once again for him, and he felt the mattress give in slightly, Erwin’s knees touching his hands slightly, as the man bent forward to comply. Levi’s eyes opened slightly then, confirming his assumption, looking at this beautiful, cum-covered body, Erwin’s head tilted back, looking at the camera over his shoulder, while he was obviously pushing Levi’s white semen out of his ass; some of it dribbling down onto the raven’s balls.

And when Erwin turned his head to look down at Levi, after Behring’s enthusiastic, mumbled words of approval, indicating that he had taken the shot he wanted, Levi, his mind still clouded and as if lost in another dimension, did something he only barely noticed himself doing. He reached out with both of his arms, looping them around Erwin’s neck, and pulled the man down – and Erwin lost his balance, because this came out of nowhere, it surprised him and he fell forward, downward, only managing to catch himself with both of his hands pushing into the mattress on either side of Levi’s body in the last second, before bumping their heads painfully together; and then Levi kissed him passionately, desperately. With a strong sense of romantic longing.

And while doing so, Levi heard chuckling coming from a few directions, but those sounds were still muffled, as if coming from a TV turned to low volume standing in another room. He was sure he was hearing Behring whisper something about taking a longer a break and wanting to start to cut the beginning already while they were still here, he heard shuffling – but foremost he _felt_; he felt Erwin’s soft and big lips moving against his, he felt the taller man’s hot and sticky body press against his, his whole weight coming down on him, Erwin settling himself between Levi’s spread legs, the man’s tongue welcoming him in his mouth into which Levi had evidently pushed it and…

And then Levi froze, the glow of his orgasm fading, lifting the curtains, veils and whatever shit had been hanging before his mind, shielding him from reality which came crashing over him like an ice cold avalanche now – and only then he realised what the fuck he was doing. 

The cameras were off, gone in fact, and he was snogging his co-star, his fingers buried in Erwin’s golden hair.

_Fuck. _

This was not what he was meant to be doing.

This wasn’t _normal_.

This was… _creepy stalker fan-guy shit! _

Usually, when he and his co-star finished and Behring or any other director called for a break in order for his actors to wash up and get it back up for a second or third round, they would just…. Untangle themselves, the guys pulling out of Levi, and maybe they were giving each other a playful slap on the shoulder, nodding, verifying they had just pulled off some good work, and then go their fucking way to separate showers.

And here he fucking was: Snogging Erwin Smith as if… as if this man his lover.

Because that is what Levi wished so hard for. That was what he had always wished for. And with his climax-clouded mind, overwhelmed by the fact he had just had sex with Erwin Smith, of course his body reacted, setting itself into motion, acting on his bizarrely tender and romantic post-sex fantasies.

Shit.

He pulled back, ending their kiss, retreating his hands out of Erwin’s hair, making the blond raise his head up in order to look into Levi’s eyes, who wanted to mumble and desperate apology – but Erwin’s tender, soft and content smile just forced the air out of his lungs, rendering the raven unable to speak.

“…we should wash up…” Erwin mumbled, and Levi felt himself nodding. “…okay…” Erwin added and slowly moved off of Levi’s body. “Damn, I’m full of come,” the man cursed, but didn’t sound appalled or angry, and when Levi’s eyes followed him, he saw why: the man was still smiling playfully, now holding out his hand. “C’mon, Mr. Smith,” he teased him, – making Levi’s throat go tight for the hundredth time today at being addressed like that – “get up or you’ll fall asleep and Behring will not be happy with that. And neither will I. We still have some things to do today…” he added, his smile still soft, despite this cheeky wink the man gave him.

And Levi…

Levi grabbed the offered hand, the big and warm and soft offered hand, and let himself be pulled to his feet, still unable to speak, to say anything, letting himself be wordlessly lead into the adjacent bathroom.

“You can use the main shower,” Erwin told him, letting go of him, “I’ll go use the other bathroom, I left my phone there anyway,” he added, smiling – and then he left. 

And Levi blinked, completely dumfounded. Because how could Erwin be so relaxed and confident after the raven-haired had just taken his, as Moblit had phrased it, anal virginity in front of the camera? Didn’t he feel any pain, any discomfort, any shame, any… anything? “Damn…” Levi whispered, reminding himself how good Erwin was at playing roles. In front of the camera, as well as in front of people. He was a professional. Had been for sixteen years. And Levi stifled his desire to run after the man, ask him whether he was fine, whether it had been okay, whether he wasn’t angry at him – also because of this pathetic kiss after they were done shooting their first sex scene. Because… Obviously Erwin wanted to be alone now.

Which was, Levi reminded himself of as well, freaking normal – to part ways after a scene was filmed and to get cleaned up on your own…

“Damn…” he whispered again, starting the shower, letting the water wash away his as well as Erwin’s cum, almost mourning the loss of semen of his body, feeling ridiculous about it just a second after.

Seriously: What was Erwin Smith doing to him?

Images of what had just happened between them flashed across him mind as he started drying his body and slipped into the fluffy white bathrobe hung out for him. “Shit…” he whispered, completely overwhelmed with everything that had happened, questions raging inside of his mind which he tried to ignore.

He went into the kitchen to fetch himself a glass of water, gulping it down as if he had wandered a week in a desert. He found Behring and his two staff members munching on sandwiches in the living area of the penthouse, three computers set up, all cameras connected – and he could hear his own and Erwin’s moaning coming from the loudspeakers; Behring was already going through the material, obviously selecting his favourite shots.

Their eyes met, and the older man smiled. “Great job so far, Levi,” he praised him, and Jimmy and Jacob nodded their heads, muttering words of agreement, “I knew you’d be the perfect candidate to top Erwin,” the director stated – and Levi did not know how to feel about that, heat spreading all over his cheeks again. “If you’re looking for him – he’s out on the balcony,” Behring added, still smiling, before his attentions returned to the screen in front of him and he said something about a certain perspective he favoured on the blow job.

Levi wasn’t sure if Erwin wanted company right – but his legs were already moving and steering his body in the direction of the balcony. As if he was a freaking puppy dog, driven by his instinct to search for his owner. “Damn…” he whispered yet again, but didn’t stop himself. If Erwin wanted to be alone, the man would definitely tell him that and send him away. And Levi would be fine with it.

No.

That was a lie.

He wouldn’t be fine with it, but he’d accept it and leave.

On wobbly knees he stepped out, finding Erwin – also dressed in a fluffy white bathrobe – smoking, his lower arms resting against the balustrade. He made himself known immediately, clearing his throat, because he really didn’t want to interrupt or sneak up on the man, who turned his head when he heard Levi and… smiled repeatedly, a cigarette between lips.

“…nervous again?” Levi commented on his smoking, trying to tease, but his voice turned out rather shaky than amused.

Erwin took the fag into his hand, and exhaled a cloud of white smoke. “Naw,” he then said, grinning at Levi, “this time it’s for pleasure. You want one, too?” Obviously this was a half-lie, but Levi didn’t care. He swallowed, not wanting to grin like a happy child. Because Erwin offering him a cigarette meant that the man didn’t want him to leave. Right? And that made him feel glad. And embarrassed because he was feeling this way. But, fuck it, he thought, agreeing, taking the chance to smoke, enjoying Erwin light his cigarette, enjoying his presence. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“You’re welcome, Levi,” Erwin answered, smiling once more, before his gaze returned to wander over the panorama of the city.

The silence that developed between them after didn’t feel awkward. At least not _that_ awkward.

Okay.

That was a _total_ lie again.

It _did_ feel awkward, and Levi was searching his mind so hard for something to say to Erwin, that would not stem from his disturbing fan-boy personality – but the re-emerging nervousness made it impossible for him to say something that _wasn’t_ embarrassing. So in the end, it was Erwin again, who broke the stillness and spoke up. 

“So…” he started, elongated and his tone somehow unsure, verifying Levi’s assumption that Erwin was, indeed, still nervous, “um… how was it? For you?”

Yet Levi had not expected _this_ question. However, he had many answers to it. Immediately.

_Magnificent. Glorious. Overwhelming. Utterly fantastic. Mind-blowing. Bone-shattering. Intense. The hottest thing ever. Something to be never forgotten again. Wonderful. Super hot. Extremely arousing. Amazing. Stunning. Brilliant. Spectacular. Sensational. First-class. Heavenly. _

Yet in the end he forced himself to reply with: “Ummm… okay.” Being extremely proud of himself that he had indeed somehow managed to contain his fan-boy-excitement this time, looking over at Erwin and realising… that it had probably been the wrong situation to contain his embarrassing and excited personality.

Because Erwin didn’t look happy.

_And was Levi even surprised?! _

‘Okay’ … what kind of bum was he? _OKAY?!_ That’s not how you describe someone’s skills in bed, for fuck’s sake! Especially not when that someone was _Erwin fucking Smith_!

“Oh…” the blond mumbled, taking another drag on his cigarette, and then stared at some building in the distance, pressing his lips together after exhaling – and Levi’s heart raced. Because he had just basically insulted Erwin, or rather he had hurt him, he had made him feel insecure about his (truly marvellous) skills as a bottom. 

Suddenly, as Erwin realised that Levi was staring at him (he just couldn’t control himself when it came to looking at this man), he laughed nervously, scratching his neck with his free hand. “Well, I, apologise if it wasn’t what you’d expected, I’m… not that skilled in this department, I guess… Maybe you can… help me out here, give me some tips and advice and…”

Levi couldn’t take this. 

He couldn’t take Erwin talking himself down, having doubts about his performance when he was thrown into such a harsh situation, forced to do what he had done so blissfully – so he interrupted him, not caring if the blond man would finally realize what kind of creepy stalker Levi truly was and how big his crush was on this guy; because all he cared about right now was making Erwin feel good. He had obviously achieved that on a physical level, but the mental one was so much more important. 

“Erwin,” he said, turning fully towards the man, making the blond almost jump up and shut his mouth instantly, “you…” Levi started, sighing, his voice shaking, “you were _fantastic_, okay? I’m not just saying this to make you feel good, like… I’ve topped before, okay? But, shit… Like… Hell, it has _never_ felt this way. The moment I entered you, I fucking thought, like: that’s it. I-I-I’m gonna blow it, right there, right then…” The words pouring out of his mouth started to have an impact on Erwin, his concerned facial expression yielding, lips moving slowly into a soft smile. And so Levi continued, didn’t hold back. “And please don’t think that I’m saying this because I’m your biggest fan. Actually that’s one of the reasons why I would never lie to you. I thoroughly enjoyed having sex with you this way, shit, I was so into it, I even forgot about the cameras. And basically…” Levi sighed again, averting his gaze at that moment, staring at the floor instead, because he was so nervous he couldn’t endure Erwin’s gaze at that moment, “basically I just said ‘okay’ now because I didn’t want you to think that I’m… obsessed with you. You know, you got lots of those crazy fans out there sending you their used underwear, following you around town and into restaurants, secretly taking picture of you and shit, trying to find out where you live. I know about that, I’ve read all about it, and… I just don’t want you to see me this way… I’m just… I’m just…”

_Totally in love with you_ – that would have been the honest answer, but even if he was kind of pouring his soul out to Erwin, some sensible voice inside of his head screamed at him to skip that part right now. And so Levi told him something different, which wasn’t a lie though. “I’m just, I guess… I’m just still totally excited to be shooting with you and finally meeting you and talking with you… And it’s kind of making me say and do stupid stuff, and it’s confusing me, and I don’t really know how to behave around you, because… I don’t want you to dislike me. You know…?”

He dared to look back up and into Erwin’s face – and he fucking froze, because the man had leaned forward, and his face was so close that it was almost touching Levi’s, and in the next moment Erwin pressed a soft kiss onto his cheek, making Levi scream internally.

The blond was smiling at him when he took a step back, his blue eyes crystal clear, his beautiful mouth forming one of those gorgeous smiles Levi was so in love with, with that very big amount of softness that was totally getting to him, making his knees shake and his heart now pound viciously in his chest. “Thank you, Levi,” Erwin murmured, voice as thick as honey. And then that horrible, sweet, adorable man did it again, for a fucking third time, reaching out with his big-ass hand, tucking a thread of dark hair behind Levi’s ear, repeating what he had already said out loud a couple of times to Levi. “You’re really cute, you know that?”

“…s-so you k-keep telling m-me…” Levi tried to retort in a nonchalant way – which turned out to be completely useless and he sounded as shy as a freaking embarrassed, loved-up school girl in a clichéd manga. The only thing that was missing was his fucking school uniform.

Erwin chuckled, putting the small rest of his cigarette out in the ashtray. And then, the blond man took a step forward, leaning down so that his mouth was right next to Levi’s ear, and he murmured something… unbelievable into it. 

“You know what, Levi?” Levi swallowed, shivers running down his spine, and Erwin finished: “…I think _I’m_ starting to develop a crush on _you_…”

…and then the blond man just walked off, leaving the balcony.

And Levi blinked, ash falling down onto the floor from his neglected cigarette, burning his naked foot, as he was staring out into the open space, his mind completely… _blank_. 

Until it wasn’t blank anymore.

Until it was filled with red alarm lights flashing and the subsequent warning sounds blaring off, shutting out anything else, and there was just one single tangible question that was ricocheting inside of his brain:

_WHAT. THE. FUCK. JUST. HAPPENED?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted porn? You got the porn. You want some more? You'll have some more - cause we're not done with the shoot yet. Phew...! Guys, I hope you enjoyed this (very filthy) update. If you have made it so far, I don't need to welcome you to my depraved world, cause you are already a part of it.
> 
> I wanted to thank all of you for leaving kudos, bookmarking and especially for commenting - you have no idea how happy your feedback makes me! I just went throught the third surgery on my ovaries and the time really (!) sucked. But everything is fine (more than fine actually, cause I found out I still MIGHT be able to have children) and your words on this story have helped me A LOT. So really: THANK YOU!!!
> 
> If you want (filthy) updates on this and my other fics, follow me on Twitter: @SummoningIsis
> 
> And I think I will have to take a short break from "Uncensored" soon because my "Chains" readers also deserve an update. If you are into BDSM, you might want to check it out, too. And since I will be home for the whole of next week due to recovering from surgery, I have a lot of time to write, so you also won't have to wait toooo long for chapter 5 anyways ;-)


	5. Meteor shower

Levi felt drunk. But it was a different kind of drunkenness than the one he had experienced during the mind-blowing sex with Erwin. This sensation was even… worse. More intense. And if he thought his heart had been pounding heavily before, then he had no idea how to describe the rhythm of it right now; was it trying to break his fucking ribcage, shatter all of his bones, rip through his flesh and muscles? 

The blond man’s words kept replaying in his mind, had his insides swirling, and his knees were so weak, the world around him spinning so much, that he had to place his hand onto the balustrade of the balcony and then on the wall in the luxurious hallway to steady himself and not finally trip over his own two useless feet and fall face-flat onto the fucking ground like the pathetic mess that he had been rendered into by Erwin fucking Smith.

“_I think_ I’m _starting to develop a crush on_ you…”

Was this…

Was this a joke?  
Was this some kind of banter?  
Was Erwin teasing him?  
OR DID HE MEAN IT?

Or…

The interactions between them _had_ felt kind of flirtatious from the beginning, Levi had to admit that to himself, as he stood there alone, leaning against the wall and trying to get his nerves as well as his body to calm down before meeting Erwin or any of the film crew members again. And maybe Erwin really _did_ find him cute – though Levi had never heard any of his shooting partners call him _that_. Hot, good-looking, sharp: those were the things the men said about him, _if_ they said anything positive at all, most of them, as Erwin had obviously experienced for himself, just finding him rude and cold and whatever – Levi just wasn’t your clichéd twink, and many fuckers just couldn’t deal with that. The majority was probably just happy he could take cock so well, making the whole process of fucking and making movies about fucking easier… 

But _cute_… 

No, that was a first. A beautiful first. But…

Maybe Erwin always acted this way, when he found his co-star likeable?

Using flirting to kind of… ease the mood?

And taking into account that Levi was nine years younger than Erwin and still what you could truly call a rookie in the industry compared to men like Erwin Smith, one could say that the blond wanting to take away his nervousness by flirting a little bit with him was… a realistic assumption. One that made Erwin even more likeable. Because when such a good-looking, well-known man flirted with you, it boosted your ego, it made you feel good, it made _Levi_ feel good – even though his nervousness didn’t abate _all_ the way. 

However, he _had_ been able to put his emotional agitation aside during the most important times of the shoot, had been able to drown his fucking crush that was making him act like an immature chaotic being when necessary: when he was supposed to make things easier for _Erwin_. And judging the man’s reactions, the way Erwin had moaned, the way he had kissed Levi and had mounted him in the end, as if he had run out of patience and finally wanted Levi’s dick inside of him, the raven was sure he had succeeded in not only making things easier and comfortable for Erwin, but first and foremost _pleasurable_. Which wasn’t always the case when you were having anal sex for the first time, bottoming...

The very fresh memory of the man climaxing, and Erwin’s tight walls squeezing all around his cock during this blissful event, made his groin throb, though Levi knew he would need a little bit more time before he could grow fully hard again… And the thought of having sex with Erwin again… it did so many things to him, making his mind replay all the events that had just taken place now and…

They _had_ been acting rather out of the ordinary, hadn’t they, Levi thought, going over the moment he had stayed in Erwin’s lap in the whirlpool, when the cameras had stopped rolling, and how the man hadn’t pulled away when Levi had basically forced his lips onto his after their first round of fucking, the camera’s turned off yet again. Erwin had kissed back, just like he had caressed Levi’s back when they had stayed in the water, drinking the champagne. And he had just given him a kiss onto his cheek, with just the two of them present out there on the balcony.

Was this all just a _part_ of the flirting Erwin used to influence the mood?

Or was he flirting this way because… Because the man had told the truth, and he had really started to develop a crush on Levi?

Erwin _had_ confessed seeing and liking Levi’s debut and other movies. He had been following him on social media for almost a year now and Erwin was liking and retweeting his stuff on a regular basis. So… maybe Erwin really _had_ started to get interested in Levi and now, meeting him for the first time in person, realising the things some co-star rookies had blabbered about him were nothing but rumours, this said interested grew? …_into a crush?_

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous,” Levi snorted, scolding himself. 

Because Erwin using his flirtations to ease the mood, take away Levi’s nervousness, maybe even his own, just seemed so much more realistic. And Erwin was good at masking his emotions. He was a good _actor_. 

Right?

RIGHT?

And then this whole newlyweds-scenario had probably just totally fucked with Levi’s head, and maybe a bit with Erwin’s too, all this lovey-dovey shit they had to deliver at the beginning and throughout the whole filming actually, it was totally getting under Levi’s skin. And maybe it made him interpret too much into everything Erwin was doing…

…but then again…

“Fucking shit!” Levi spat out, pounding his fist against the stone wall, gritting his teeth. 

He wasn’t getting anywhere with his analyses. He was caught in a vicious circle. And the more he thought about it, the harder it became for him to break out of it. He was spinning, round after round, miscellaneous explanations for Erwin’s flirty behaviour, his words, being twirled around in his mind, like laundry in the washing machine – and Levi knew that he had to stop dwelling on this, that he needed to focus once again; because this shoot wasn’t over yet, and he still had to deliver and somehow endure being in Erwin’s presence without internally combusting.

He had to fuck Erwin once again.

…and the man was supposed to blow him in the end.

Fuck…

_He needed to call Hange. _

And that’s exactly what he did, carefully making his way to the room he left his things in, fishing out his phone – and he froze, when he spotted the notification, alerting him that he had been tagged in a posting by Erwin Smith just a few minutes ago. 

Immediately, his hands started shaking as he opened up the photo and saw Erwin had taken a selfie under the shower, smirking into the camera, his blue eyes stunningly dreamy, revealing his wet, naked body, depicting just the beginning of his cock, that wasn’t supposed to be the focus of this shot. No, what Erwin was showing in this picture was something completely different: Levi could see them clearly now, all the bite marks he had left along Erwin’s torso, across his throat, chest, stomach and abdomen, his sides, the light bruises, the reddish marks where he had sucked on this salty skin, the swollen nipples of the man that he had grazed and nibbled on, bitten; and then he read Erwin’s caption:

_ “I’m starting to believe Levi Ackerman is a vampire… a very cute one, though ;-) Great shooting so far, guys. Stay tuned!” _

Levi’s breath hitched.

There was that word again.

_Cute._

_Great shooting so far._

Aaaaand he was back, right in the middle of his vicious circle, as if he had boarded a carrousel that he couldn’t leave anymore, because his ass was stuck to his seat or the operator didn’t want to stop or couldn’t stop it because it was broken. Things like these happened: Rollercoasters freezing in the middle of a looping, rides going out of control, making their passengers vomit, important components suddenly breaking and catapulting people through the air – and Levi was surely hoping for the last thing to happen; because then he would be finally able to break out of this hellish circulation of thoughts and feelings in his brain and chest. 

He literally jumped up as his phone chimed and vibrated in his hand – Hange had sent him a screenshot of Erwin’s posting. “PERFECT!” they wrote. “You go, little vampire! People are going to freak out when they find out YOU are the top – I hope you’re doing okay and that Erwin’s ass is nice and tight! I am so excited! You will need to tell me EVERYTHING!!!!!!”

Erwin’s ass was so much more than just nice and tight and…

Levi was calling Hange before he even realized it.

“What? Is it already over?!” they almost screamed into the phone.

“Tsk, no, are trying to make me go deaf?” he spat.

“…sorry…” Hange whispered almost too quietly now, demonstratively, chuckling afterwards, and Levi rolled his eyes. “…then… what is it?” they asked a little bit louder this time, but at a fairly normal volume for a human being. At least in the beginning. “Are you okay? Is something wrong???!!! You need me to come and get you??!! You need me to kill someone?! Behring, Erwin?!” 

“No…!” Levi immediately reassured. “No…” he added a little quieter and calmer, “you... We’re just taking a break before the next scenes…” he explained and his friend was able to pick up on his tone instantly.

“But something happened,” Hange stated. “Spill it, shorty.”

Levi scoffed, yet choosing not to chastise his manager for addressing him this way. They would never stop anyway and if Levi was being honest, he had already gotten used to Hange making fun of his size. Besides: He was making fun of their hair, glasses, choices of clothing, voice and… everything. Levi was making fun of everything about Hange and Hange had the right to make fun of everything concerning him. After all: This is what best friends did, wasn’t it? And ridiculing each other in an endearing or sometimes maybe a little bit nasty way – those were best friend privileges, and Levi actually _enjoyed_ them.

“Well…” he started, his mind refocussing on why he had actually called Hange, “I think I haven’t stopped telling Erwin embarrassing stuff…”

There was a moment of silence, before Hange started snickering. “Something even _more_ embarrassing than wanting to _marry_ him?”

“I haven’t said I _wanted_ to marry him, I said that I wouldn’t _mind_ marrying him…” Levi protested weakly, making Hange snicker even louder.

“Yeah,” they countered smugly, “that’s a _toooootally_ different thing, sweety… So. What else have you told him?”

Levi sighed. “Practically, that I have been fantasizing about having sex with him all my life, that I like the taste of his cock, that I’m totally excited about being able to shoot with him for real, that I’m nervous as fuck because of that the whole time, and that that’s the reason I don’t know how to properly act around him, and that I’m his biggest fan,” he summarized, “…and that even though I’ve topped before, sex has never felt this good in this position...”

“…uh, _that_ good?” Hange breathed, voice strained due to their unequivocal excitement.

“That’s not the point…” Levi answered sharply.

“…but it _was_ good…?” Hange insisted.

Levi rolled his eyes, but… But then… 

But then he couldn’t stop the desperate words pouring out of his mouth because all of the sensations of having Erwin ride him flooded his mind and heart and his dick. “Fucking hell: It was the _best_ sex I have _ever_ had in my whole entire life…” he admitted and the manager squealed at that, and Levi was sure they would soon be starting to jump up and down – no matter where they were right now. “He rode me, Hange…”

“_Ohsweeetfuckinglord_, really?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you come in that position? Did _he_?”

“…oh yeah… we both did.”

“HOLY GUACAMOLE! THIS MOVIE’S GONNA BE SO FUCKING HOT!”

“…yeah…” Levi added, his enthusiasm fading quickly though, as his mind started spinning again, those confusing thoughts and analyses ricocheting inside of his brain.

“But…?” Hange enquired, sensing the shift of their friend’s emotions, and Levi sighed.

“Well… Honestly, I’m wondering whether Erwin thinks I’m a creepy stalker fan-guy. Like: You know what kind of psychos went after him already, right?”

“Uh-huh…”

“…and because I blurted out all of this shit, I’m afraid he’s gonna place me in this category of people. And… I really want him to… _like_ me.”

Hange clicked their tongue. “I don’t think you have to be afraid of anything, I mean: the post just now. If he was really considering you this way, he would not be uploading this pic, tagging you, and writing about you. Cause that would just be encouragement in such a situation obviously – and that’s not what you do with stalker fans: give them attention and thus encourage their behaviour. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“…yeah,” Levi mumbled, as his manager’s explanation was solid, it was true. And Erwin, Levi had to confess, hadn’t given him any reaction that could make one think he actually truly considered Levi this way so far. “But there’s also something else,” he added.

“What?”

“There’s something he said to me just now that is fucking with my brain…”

Hange remained silent for a few seconds before enquiring in a sterner tone: “So you _do_ need me to kill him?”

Levi smiled at that. Hange had always been protective of him, and even if he could look after himself well, he really appreciated his friend’s feelings. “No. At least not yet,” he answered.

“What the hell did he say?” Hange enquired impatiently.

“Well, after confronting _me_ about possibly having a crush on _him_ before the start of the shoot, he just told me that… that he thinks that he is starting to develop a crush on _me_.”

“…I need all the details. Walk me through it. Step by step. Start at the very beginning. I wanna hear everything. Go,” Hange demanded, tone all serious and focussed, and Levi obliged, telling his friend about the confrontation in the bathroom, a little bit of their exchanged and behaviour during the shooting, then reciting their whole conversation on the balcony just now, while also making sure to summarize his thoughts on this, his dilemma.

“What do you think?” he finally asked them and Hange sighed.

“Hmmmmm...” they made, and Levi was sure they were rubbing their chin while doing so. They always did it when they were pondering important matters. And this was one _hell_ of an important matter! “Hmmmmmm…” Hange repeated, and then Levi heard his friend take in air loudly, bracing himself for their analysis. “I think… I mean: I believe you two are somehow flirting. _But_,” they stressed, making a pause, “considering that before his statement you basically buttered him up, making all those compliments about his… bed skills, your intercourse, how much of a fan you are of his and how nervous you truly are and shit… I think he just told you that to, well, make you feel appreciated? Like: It was a _flirtatious joke_? I mean, I totally believe that he finds you attractive and cute – hell, you are the cutest of them all when you aren’t scowling all the time or telling people to shove a cactus up their ass or go fuck off and take a huge dump and—“

“I get it,” Levi interrupted, groaning and Hange chuckled, “so you’re saying: he’s fucking with me. And please: Don’t make any pun about me topping him or us having sex in any other way right now, okay?”

Hange’s chuckling grew louder. “All right, all right…” they said and Levi sighed. “I wouldn’t call it… _fucking_ with you. Because that could imply bad intentions. And I don’t believe that Erwin _has_ bad intentions – I’m on the same page as you, actually. That thing about wanting to ease the mood by flirting: it sounds plausible to me. And I think you are right to assume that Erwin telling you he’s starting to have a crush on you… is a part of just that.”

“….huh…” Levi made – realising that… That he was disappointed. Because once more the explanation his friend had given him sounded solid. He had thought about this himself, after all, and it really made sense… Levi just didn’t _wish_ for it to make sense. He wished for Erwin to truly crush on him, to fall in love with him, to fucking marry him, yeah, all right… but… 

But he was just a creepy stalker fan-guy, and not more than Erwin’s co-star who happened to be obliged to pose as Erwin Smith’s husband for today (it had been his own idea…), and to have sex with him. Sure, they had some chemistry going on – but chemistry could be also platonic, despite them fucking; because sex in front of the camera was, after all, their _job_.

Hange sighed. “Look,” they started, “I could be wrong, you know…”

“Yeah, but it’s more likely that you’re right.”

“Just focus on the shoot and enjoy the fact Erwin’s not an asshole, cause that would be way worse than experiencing an unrequited crush with someone who actually likes you as a person and colleague. Oh! Focus on the fact that Erwin _has_ a nice asshole, instead!” they said, and Hange was sure beaming right now. And as much as Levi rolled his eyes, it also made him smile a little.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you are impossibly cute,” Hange retorted and Levi sighed. “Look: All I’m saying is that you might as well enjoy the flirting with Erwin. Even if it _doesn’t_ lead to the romantic Hollywood love story you desire, don’t you think? Take what you can get, make nice memories, make him your friend, and make a great movie together. You said yourself that sex with him is amazing – don’t ruin it with letting your mind run wild and overthink stuff. It might be your only chance to have sex with Erwin. And as you pointed out yourself: You’ve been dreaming about this all your life. Don’t fuck it up for yourself. Don’t destroy this moment.”

Levi sighed again, and he had to admit that… Hange was right. “Yeah, I’ll focus and cherish and enjoy the ride,” he thus obliged.

“There you go!” went Hange nearly euphorically.

“Thanks,” Levi muttered.

“Any time. Call me when you’re done. Okay?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll make pizza. The dough is already done and rising beautifully. Wine?”

“Lots of it.”

“Got it, babe.”

They ended the call and Levi… A part of him felt better, somehow relieved; having been able to let it all out had helped him, talking to Hange always did. They were the person Levi was actually able to talk to this way, openly, honestly and he cherished his friend’s opinion. Hange was sharp, clever – and probably right about everything they had just said. Levi knew it, felt it, and he wanted to follow their advice. 

For he truly didn’t want to ruin this maybe once in a lifetime chance he had been given today. Even if it somehow hurt. But then again: it’s not like he had been hoping for Erwin to fall for him anyway at the beginning of the day, or at any other time, so what was he even being upset about?

Hange was right: Erwin was a nice guy, they were compatible, their flirting was nice – and the sex was phenomenal. And that wasn’t something to be complaining about, right? Besides… He was the one who had taken the man’s anal virginity. No one could take _this_ away from _him_. And thus, he would always have a special place in Erwin’s history, even if only the two of them knew about it. Well, and Moblit. 

And that was huge enough, wasn’t it?

Focussing on this, repeating it like a mantra in his own mind, Levi eventually mustered up the courage to leave the room. He found Erwin in the kitchen, having another glass of whisky with Behring, discussing something – and the blond man immediately smiled when he spotted the raven-haired, and Levi told his stupid heart to fucking shut up, because it was sending out rather disturbing messages to his brain, translating as: “…but maybe he really _does_ have a crush on you…?”

“Do you want a refill as well?” Erwin asked pointing to the bottle of alcohol, and Levi nodded, even though that wasn’t such a great idea, considering his mental status. Yet it was too late to change his mind anyways, as Behring had already filled his glass with the amber liquid and placed it in front of the raven on the kitchen island, and so Levi took it, standing next to Erwin now, both of them facing the director, whose eyes settled on the younger star of his movie. 

“I was just talking with Erwin about the next possible sex position for you guys,” he explained to him, “and I think spooning would be perfect for the newlyweds-scenario – after all, it’s one of the most intimate sex positions _and_ manageable with your size difference,” the old man explained, and Levi took a fucking huge sip of his whisky, trying to drown his re-awakening nervousness, because Behring was right: this position _was_ fucking intimate. “I mean, obviously you won’t be able to kiss Erwin while fucking him, cause you won’t probably be able to reach his lips with your own,” the director added, laughing a little in a dirty old-man fashion, “but we’ll be able to get some really good shots on the penetration and it’s gonna be pretty easy and comfortable for you guys as well. So. What do you say?”

Levi took another sip of his whisky, so beautifully warming up in his belly. “I’m fine with everything. Erwin should decide,” Levi then said, glimpsing quickly at his co-star, who was offering him yet another smile.

…and that damned heart of his wouldn’t shut up.

“I think it’s a great idea, Franz,” Erwin closed the discussion, and Levi started to feel a little bit queasy, his mind beginning to paint a certain picture of the events soon to be unfolding on the bed Erwin had already ridden him on – and it was making him feel hot, and something stirred between his legs; and he knew he was almost ready to go again.

Fuck.

Alcohol was fuelling his libido.

And so was Erwin Smith.

The man not only fucked with his brain, he also made Levi’s body go crazy.

“You think you can go again soon?” Behring asked them both.

“I’m almost hard,” Levi burst out, thinking out loud – wanting to slap himself in the very next second when he heard Erwin chuckle next to him.

“I guess I should be flattered,” the blond mumbled, and Levi felt the tips of his ears burning, quickly taking another sip of the beverage in his hand, just to have something to do. “I think I can also continue very soon, we just need, um… a… refill of, um, we just need more lube. I mean, I just took a shower and…”

“Don’t worry, we’ll have Levi stretch and fill you up again, all right?” Behring said.

“…yeah…” Erwin and Levi responded almost at the same time, and Levi wasn’t able to look his co-star in the eyes, because he was embarrassed yet again. By what, he couldn’t exactly tell.

But Erwin’s somewhat unsure stammering about lube had made him also kind of snap back into reality, like he had done before, and slight worry overtake his mental system. As soon as Behring left the room to go back to Jimmy and Jacob to discuss the following filming events with his crew, Levi turned to Erwin and asked him in a hushed voice: “You okay? …down there?”

Erwin smiled – but this smile wasn’t as glorious as its predecessors. It was a bit nervous. “Yeah,” the man answered nonetheless. “I’m good… It… It still burns a little, though… And I actually feel as if… your cock was still inside me, I have to confess…”

“Y-yeah, it always feels this way, especially when you’re… _out of practise_,” the raven phrased, returning Erwin’s smile. “I’ll use a fair amount of lubricant again, then y-you should be fine. Just, um… Just g-give me a signal when you think that you’re ready to go when I-I’ll be stretching you out… um, okay?”

The blond man’s smile turned softer, and this view made Levi’s heart flutter. “I will,” he said, “thank you again, Levi.” And those tenderly uttered words made a damned shiver run down his back – that irritating voice coming from his stupid heart starting to whisper: 

_ “…but maybe he really_ does _have a crush on you…?”_

_Nonsense_, Levi thought, emptying his glass, setting it down onto the surface of the kitchen island.

“You like it?” Erwin enquired.

“What?”

“The whiskey,” the man specified, pointing to Levi’s empty container.

“Um… yeah… It’s nice. Your favourite… right?”

Erwin nodded, finishing his glass as well. “I’ve been drinking this since I was twenty.”

“Always been a man of refined tastes, huh?” Levi countered, making Erwin snicker.

“I think I’ve just always had high standards.”

“Huh…”

“Considering alcohol… and men,” Erwin added – and Levi throat went tight, making him bite his lip and swallow dryly.

And he couldn’t stop the flat remark from leaving his mouth. “And then you find _me_ cute? That doesn’t add up,” he said, scoffing – wishing he still had some of that whisky left to sip on, instead he just stood there awkwardly, trying to avoid Erwin’s gaze.

The man didn’t beat around the bush. “You _are_ cute, Levi,” he responded immediately, and Levi wished, he wished so hard he could focus on Hange’s words, on the facts, and not hold on to the hope of this remark holding some more meaning and intention than just being flirty banter between actors who got along rather well.

“Tsk, yeah right,” Levi responded nonetheless, knowing how naïve he was behaving, how obvious – because he wanted to hear Erwin say that he was cute again and again and again. Because just like with the sex: maybe today was his one and only chance to hear Erwin Smith utter those phrases, and he wanted the man’s voice forming them to be burned into his mind.

“Okay, you’re _hot_ and _sexy_, too,” Erwin added, voice a little husky, leaning with one arm against the kitchen counter, facing Levi, making the younger man’s skin tingle, “and interesting.”

Levi could feel Erwin’s intense gaze resting on him, the man waiting for the dark-haired to look back into his face, but Levi couldn’t move, stared at the half-eaten plate of fruit instead, scoffing lightly, not knowing what to fucking respond.

Erwin found him cute, hot, sexy, and interesting – what _else_ could he have wished for?

For the man to fall in love with him…

_God fucking damn it_, he scolded himself internally, remembering the phone conversation with Hange, trying to focus on not ruining the shoot for himself, instead of clinging on to silly love hopes.

Enjoy the flirting – this is what he said to himself, finally turning his head to face Erwin again, saying, as calmly as possible: “You’re quite hot yourself. But you know that.”

Erwin chuckled. “It still feels nice to hear someone _say_ it…” the man responded.

And this nearly took Levi’s breath away. “Yeah… I know what you mean,” he eventually replied, smiling lightly, somehow happy about the fact that Erwin was feeling the same way about receiving compliments today.

“What’s _your_ favourite drink anyways?” Erwin suddenly enquired.

“Alcoholic?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess I’d have to go with wine.”

“Red or white?”

“Red in autumn and winter, white in spring and summer.”

Erwin grinned. “Same with me. Do you have a favourite type?”

“Um, I’m quite fond of Barolo when it comes to red wine, and white… Well, I almost like any type, as long as it isn’t sweet.”

“Sweet wine is the worst, I totally agree with you.”

Levi hated himself for feeling giddy about having some things in common with Erwin, his cheeks starting to glow with subtle warmth again. And he was totally enjoying this simple conversation – enjoying the fact that somehow he was getting to know more about Erwin, and he was happy about the man being interested in him. Even if it was just all about drink preferences.

“Wh-what about you?” Levi asked the blond.

“I like Barolo, too. I’m also a fan of Cabernet Sauvignon and Shiraz,” he answered, sighing. “Ah, to hell with it: I think I don’t really care what kind of wine I am drinking as long as it is to my liking.”

“And your standards are _high_…” Levi repeated Erwin’s words, making the man smirk.

“Yes, they are.”

“Only concerning alcohol and men… or also food?” the raven probed – and Erwin laughed, somehow nervously.

“Ah, well,” he then said, “I’m not a picky eater. I don’t think there is anything that I don’t like stuffing into my belly. Though pizza is one of my favourites. But so is pasta with any type of sauce, though I also never say no to a good hamburger with fries...”

“Fast food lover, huh?”

Erwin laughed again. “I _do_ have salads from time to time…”

“As a side dish, I bet…”

“Damn, you can see right through me,” Erwin remarked, grinning – and Levi couldn’t help but smile. “What about you?”

“I’m also a fan of the Italian cuisine…”

“Of course,” Erwin remarked, nodding, “the red wine…”

“Yes, original Italian pizza with red wine is a glorious combination. But so is French cheese with a big glass of Bordeaux.”

“Damn, I think I’m starting to get hungry…”

Levi chuckled. And he… And he was surprised how easy conversation with Erwin was suddenly flowing, how relaxed he suddenly was around the blond. Maybe, because he had blurted out so much shit already he had nothing _left_ to let out and thus to be _afraid_ of – and maybe, because Erwin had taken all of that shit and still wasn’t treating him any differently. And maybe, because he had finally understood that he should just enjoy the moment; and so that was exactly what he was trying to do.

“I’m having self-made pizza tonight,” Levi sort of bragged, “Hange is preparing it for me. And they’re buying lots of wine to go with it.”

“So your manager can cook?”

Now Levi was the one who was laughing. “Self-made pizza is the _only_ thing Hange can make without setting the kitchen on fire. I taught them. Only took me a whole fucking year...”

Erwin chuckled. “So _you_ can cook then?” the men enquired and Levi nodded.

“I, um, love cooking,” he explained, “it helps me relax. My… My mother taught me. She was the best cook in the family. And I inherited her beloved cook book with all the family’s recipes. There’s a lot of Eastern European stuff in there.”

“…does that mean your family is from Eastern Europe?”

Levi nodded. “Yeah, my mother is from Poland, my father is supposed to come from the Ukraine. I, um, I actually never met him, he left my mum when I was born, just before she came here with her brother and cousin. And then when she died, when I was 15, there was just no chance of finding out his identity. Not that I really wanted to anyway…”

“Oh, that’s tough. I’m sorry about that,” Erwin said, sounding sincere, and Levi definitely didn’t want to ruin their nice and easy food and drink talk with his gloomy family history, so he focussed on the positive stuff instead.

“I bet you’d love my mum’s special pierogi – Hange is a fast food junkie just like you and she’s fucking addicted to them.”

“…pierogi are these half-moon-shaped types of dumplings, right?”

“Yeah. My mum always made them with meat and vegetables she previously used for cooking a broth, with her personal set of spices. She would cook the pierogi, then fry them in lard, and then serve them with fried pork rind or bacon – and butter as well as fresh herbs.”

“…fuck!” Erwin cursed. “Now I really _am_ hungry. I love pierogi, but so far I have only eaten them with minced meat or with a potato filling. This version sounds _delicious_! My mouth actually started to water right now…”

“Then I should definitely cook them for you some day,” Levi said – because obviously he had been _wrong_ and he still _had_ some embarrassing shit to blurt out and—

“I’d love that,” replied Erwin, voice tender, and when Levi looked at the man, somehow dumbfounded, the blond was smiling at him gorgeously, and that voice stemming from Levi’s heart fucking _screamed_ at him:

“…BUT MAYBE HE _DOES_ HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU…?!”

Levi couldn’t respond. Not only because he didn’t know what to say, but foremost because Behring – that stupid old fart – interrupted their one-on-one time yet again, floating into the kitchen with his charming businessman smile, asking: “Are my lovebirds ready for some action?”

“Of course, Franz,” answered Erwin, taking a sip of water now, before offering Levi another smile – and starting to follow Behring out of the kitchen. 

Sighing internally, cursing and rolling his eyes, Levi also set his body into motion, trotting after the men into the bedroom and calling on his alleged professionalism to bloody concentrate on the task at hand.

_On fucking Erwin one more time._

Something stirred in his abdomen and he had to roll his eyes again. He was turning into a schizophrenic. On the one hand he was acting like this shy and awkward and utterly nervous teenager, his mind occupied with all this emotional shit, while on the other hand he was instantly ready to fuck, focussing on how to stick it into Erwin to make him feel good and deliver the shots his director desired to make.

Seriously: Erwin Smith was completely destroying his brain with that thick cock of his and his searing hot asshole and—

_And Levi was hard._ Rolling his eyes on the inside about the impossible impact this man had on his body and mind.

“Ah, youth is something truly wonderful,” Behring commented, as Levi slipped out of his robe and the man’s eyes spotted his hard-on. And of course that remark make Erwin turn his head around to look at Levi – and his hard prick – and just as Levi was about to avert his gaze, the man winked at him yet again, and opened up his own bathrobe, revealing his thick cock that had also come back to life. It wasn’t _fully_ solid yet, but it wasn’t soft either; caught somewhere in between, indicating sexual arousal but just needing a little bit of help to thoroughly ignite it. And that was something Levi could and would definitely provide him with, his mouth already watering, while at the back of his mind Erwin’s youngest, confusing words suddenly resonated.

_“I’d love that.” _

Did he mean that?  
Or did he not?

_DID HE MEAN IT?_  
_OR DID HE NOT? _

“Fuck,” Levi mumbled quietly, scolding himself for the thousandth time, eyes focussing on the bed and the tube of lubricant already placed onto the mattress, while Jacob put their bathrobes away. “So, how do you want us, _Franz_?” he asked the director, making sure not to be looking at (a very naked) Erwin Smith with that developing boner of his.

“Gimme a bit of that intense kissing once again before you fuck, the rest is up to you,” the man responded in an unruffled tone, waving his hand in a sort of dismissive gesture. “Cameras are rolling.”

“Okay…” Levi responded, now forced to look back at Erwin, who—

…who fucking _ambushed_ him again.

His big hand grabbing Levi’s scalp suddenly, pulling at his hair, forcing his head to tilt back and upwards, slight pain overcoming the raven’s senses, while a wave of arousal washed through him at this rather rough treatment, as Erwin brought, or rather _forced_, their lips together, infiltrating Levi’s mouth with his wet tongue dancing around Levi’s, the tall man’s arms banding around his torso, pushing their naked bodies together, making a strangled sound escape the raven-haired’s mouth, passing right into Erwin’s cavity.

Levi’s hands rested on the man’s heated chest, having arrived there rather by accident than strategy, the young man having been simply surprised like that, trying automatically to brace himself. He wasn’t complaining, though; his fingers digging further into this tanned, beautiful skin as their heads tilted and they further deepened the kiss – for kissing Erwin… that had developed into Levi’s newest, favourite activity. And this lewd and wild contact of their tongues and lips, while Levi’s hard manhood was slightly rubbing against the man’s thigh, and he felt Erwin’s growing arousal press against his belly button, nearly obliterated all his reason; thus, helping him on focussing on the here and now, forgetting about all of his raging questions.

This time, _Erwin_ walked him backwards towards the bed and pushed him onto it quite forcefully, and Levi’s dick throbbed – another quick image of the blond man disregarding Behring’s instructions and pounding Levi into the mattress instead brushing his feverish mind, the slight disappointment of this not happening vanishing as soon as Erwin grabbed his dick and gave it a languid but firm stroke, making Levi moan.

Erwin caught the sound with his mouth again, pushing his tongue back inside, tasting of the minty tobacco and whisky; an intoxicating mixture. “I want you again, _Mr. Smith_,” he practically growled against Levi’s moist lips as he broke their kiss, and the latter shuddered. Not only because Erwin’s voice was full of desire – fake or not – and the man pressed their groins together at this moment, but also because of being addresses _this_ way again.

_Mr. Smith. _

But Levi couldn’t get distracted, not now, appealing to his inner self to let the professional porn actor take the stage; and he did. “You want me… or my _cock_, darling?” he responded, huskily, biting into Erwin’s bottom lip, pulling at it, making the man groan – and Erwin’s eyes were truly beautiful at that moment.

“I want your cock,” Erwin purred, as Levi’s hand raked through his soft, blond hair, wishing that he could touch it every day.

_Focus! _

“And where do you want it, _husband_?” he teased as Erwin started grinding against him, making both men moan lowly.

And then Erwin, his eyes locking with Levi’s, smirked lightly. “…I need it in my _ass_…” he responded, and kissed Levi again, who…

Who was asking himself repeatedly whether Erwin had meant it. 

Did this guy have a crush on him?  
Did he really want Levi to cook for him?  
Or was he truly just…

_Focus!_  
_Don’t ruin this for yourself! _

“Then you shall get it…” Levi replied with his sensuous voice, gripping Erwin’s shoulders and twisting both of them around, like he had done the first time, suddenly hovering over Erwin. But this time… This time there was no fear, no alertness in Erwin’s eyes. This time, his pupils were blown wide and the blue was of a fascinating shade, the man’s lips pulled into a soft smirk. 

Levi claimed them, bringing their bodies back together as well, grinding against Erwin, making both of them elicit low, erotic groans as their tongues swept slowly over one another – and Levi wanted to memorise every millimetre of this mouth, fingers fisting in Erwin’s hair, enjoying what the man’s big digits placed on his ass felt like, exerting light pressure, indicating increasing need.

And so did Erwin’s cock – fully stiff and thick now.

“Fuck me again…” Erwin suddenly breathed against Levi’s lips, messily ending their kiss – and the latter really wasn’t sure if the cameras had picked up on that; and if they were even _supposed_ to pick up on that at all…

Heat started spreading in his abdomen and he quickly backed away from Erwin – yet only to help the man turn onto his side. Then, Levi grabbed the lube, his hands beginning to shake a little even though he had already done this before; fingering Erwin, pushing his digits into his asshole, fucking the man. Yet, he reminded himself quickly of, this was still kind of a part of the blond’s deflowering. And he still had to be careful. 

The second time, even though Erwin’s asshole was probably still stretched from his fingers and cock, could still hurt, maybe even more due its previous first use, if he was careless; and he definitely didn’t want _that_ to happen.

And even if the man _didn’t_ have a crush on him… Levi was still in love with _him_, and he still was upset about Erwin being _forced_ to bottom, and he still wanted the man to feel… simply _good_.

Positioning himself behind Erwin’s big and broad body, he pressed a chaste kiss onto the back of the man’s neck, realising that Behring was right and he would never reach Erwin’s lips with his mouth once he started fucking into him – because even right now, with his mouth where it was, his cock was _nowhere_ close to the man’s ass; god damn it, Erwin was _so much_ freaking taller than him…!

So Levi moved further down, leaving a trail of kisses along Erwin’s spine as he travelled south, the fingers of his free hand drawing invisible lines down Erwin’s chest during that slow journey, making sure to rub the man’s nipples – rejoicing silently at the gasps he received as he pinched and squeezed them lightly, his other hand holding on to the tube of lubricant. 

And then, finally, he was able to press his groin against Erwin’s butt cheeks, placing his mouth way underneath where Erwin’s shoulder blades ended, which made Levi almost laugh out bitterly, cursing at how ridiculous their height difference was – even if it _did_ turn him on in a weird way.

Because as he pressed his cock against those firm globes, his cock sliding slightly into Erwin’s hot crack, and his free hand wrapped itself around Erwin’s thick genital, a realisation swamped his mind and made his own length ache with desire: The thought about topping such a hunk of a man, who was so much bigger, taller, broader, older – it had something extremely tantalizing about it. Something that he hadn’t noticed the first time around because he had been way too caught with making Erwin’s first experience endurable. It was something about power, or rather: a power shift. And it made Levi feel fairly dizzy.

He pressed a kiss onto Erwin’s middle back, mumbling against the warm and once more fruity smelling skin: “I want to push my fingers into you, love… may I?” Once more speaking as himself _and_ his movie personality.

He propped himself up on his elbow, making sure not to squeeze the still sealed tube in his hand, while his other one gave Erwin’s swollen cock a hard stroke, making the blond grunt. Levi looked at Erwin’s face pressed sideways into the pillow, and the man’s gaze shifted, making their eyes lock – and then Erwin nodded. And Levi wondered if the man didn’t say anything because he just chose not to do it – or whether another fit of nervousness had befallen Erwin just before the beginning of his second penetration and thus made speaking for him simply difficult. “I’ll be gentle again,” Levi whispered, not caring if the cameras would pick that up or not; and he saw Erwin’s lips curl into a soft smile, the man’s voice resonating in his mind. 

_“You’re really cute, you know that?” _  
_“I think_ I’m _starting to develop a crush on you.” _  
_ “I’d love that.” _

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

He _wasn’t_ supposed to think about _that_.

So instead, he set himself right into action, coating his fingers with lube, prompting Erwin to lift his bent leg for better access and to enable Behring to catch everything on camera, before he placed them on his hole. And just like Levi had suspected, Erwin’s entrance was still stretched, gaping open a little. Still, he proceeded with caution, propping himself back up on his elbow of this free arm, in order to be able to look into his partner’s face the whole time and spot any discomfort immediately. Only then, Levi pushed his index and middle finger back in – and gasped as Erwin’s inner muscles started to clamp down on him as he sank them further inside, making the blond groan.

“…you good?” Levi asked, studying Erwin’s face while beginning to circle his fingers to spread the lube onto Erwin’s walls, and he saw the man, his eyes now closed, squint a little, pressing his lips together. And even though Erwin wasn’t saying anything, Levi could totally read his facial expressions: his co-star wasn’t quite sure, as he was probably feeling slight discomfort. “Wait a second, love…” Levi thus murmured, leaning forward, placing another kiss onto Erwin’s manly back, while pulling his fingers out of the man. Erwin’s eyes opened then and his head shifted slightly to look back at Levi, the curiosity and need of wanting to find out what was going on overtaking him obviously.

The younger man grabbed the tube of lubricant and inserted its tip into the beginning of Erwin’s channel, pressing a good amount of its contents into it, making the blond flinch – presumably because the liquid felt cold in that searing heat inside of the man’s body. “Shhhh…” Levi soothed, as he was finished, “it’s done… I’m putting my fingers back inside you… are you ready?”

Erwin held Levi’s gaze, his mouth parted, his breathing somewhat laboured – but he nodded, and it made a jolt of heat shoot through Levi’s dick. Another, when he pushed his fingers back into this slick and hot hole, silken and moist walls meeting the pads of his fingers, and he started exerting a little bit more pressure so that both of his digits slid inside completely – and after twirling them around for a bit, watching Erwin’s face soften, his cheeks take on a reddish shimmer and hearing pleased grunting come from him, Levi made sure to twist his fingers into the perfect angle to push forward and rub against Erwin’s prostate.

“Ugh… fuck, _yeah_…” came the husky and wanton response as his digits pressed into that special bundle of nerves and he felt Erwin’s body shudder and that familiar hot, tight heat beginning to suck him in as he continued to fondle with Erwin’s special spot. And he couldn’t stop that content grin from slipping onto his face as he watched and felt the blond grab his own thick cock and stroke it, Jimmy’s camera now fully oriented to this action while Behring was filming what Levi’s fingers were doing with Erwin’s asshole; now slowly sliding in and out, always aiming at the man’s prostate, pulling throaty moans from those beautiful lips, sounds that were growing in number as well as volume. Until Erwin, his voice erotically deep and hoarse, demanded for it to stop with a command that made Levi’s whole dick throb with deep pleasure. “Enough,” the man ordered, and Levi automatically froze, meeting the man’s mesmerizing, dark blue eyes. Their gaze held for a few seconds in which the world repeatedly seemed to stand still for Levi. And then Erwin reiterated his alluring words from before: “Fuck me.”

And that was so much more than just a signal…

Lust took control of Levi’s whole being at that moment, mind completely blank apart from the desire to be buried deep in Erwin’s asshole, his fingers slipping out of the man’s canal, grabbing the lubricant once more, coating his hard prick with the gel, placing his tip at the stretched and slicked up entrance welcoming him.

“…can I…?” he enquired nonetheless, just to make absolutely sure that his partner was ready, and Erwin closed his eyes, nodding. Levi swallowed thickly, and then, he slowly pressed his cockhead in, sliding his still somewhat moist and dirty hand up under Erwin’s knee to keep the man’s leg up in the air. “Okay…?” he made sure again, breathless, stifling a vile, lust-filled curse, looking up into Erwin’s face, searching for an answer, waiting. The man’s eyes remained closed, lips pressed together. One of his arms was clutching the pillow placed underneath his head, the other gripping into the sheets. Erwin was breathing heavily, and Levi did everything in order to remain still. 

Eventually, after a few seconds, the blond nodded slowly. “Yeah…” he moaned, “…go on…”

And Levi did.

Pushing his hips slowly forward, breaching Erwin’s sphincter with his length, pushing himself in, eliciting deep groans from Erwin, mingling with his own, as well as excessive panting from the man that was making him go crazy – until all of his cock was back inside Erwin’s ass, and the blond released a deep moan in which pleasure and relief seemed to be mixing.

Levi remained seated like that, didn’t move his hips, needed a bit to calm himself down, his dick throbbing inside of Erwin. He bent slightly forward with his upper body placing a kiss onto Erwin’s shoulder blade, his side, but that made Erwin squirm, as if he was being tickled, and _that_ movement made his lower body jerk, and his hot walls clench around Levi’s cock, making both men release a moan at the very same time.

“Fuck!” Levi gasped, stilling, his fingers digging into Erwin’s legs. A few more seconds passed in which both of them remained still. Until Levi breathed “…can I move, darling…?”, his cock pulsating inside of Erwin’s tight and moist channel, his eyes still focussed on his _husband’s_ face; Erwin bit his lower lip, stifling a groan, as Levi, ever so slowly, ever so carefully circled his hips, making his cock swirl all around the blond man’s asshole, pressing into his prostate – and pushing that deep and loud groan finally out of Erwin’s mouth.

“…uuuugh…. Yeah…!” came the low answer, and Erwin’s big fingers dug further into the pillow and bed sheets.

And only then Levi began to pump his hips, move his cock slowly in and out of Erwin’s hole, his hand of the arm he was steadying himself on the mattress, gliding under and around the blond man’s body, gripping into his hip for support, puling Erwin further against his body, as he continued to fuck him in what could even be described as a slow-motion pace. It was perfect though for the camera, Behring taking close-ups of Levi’s wet cock disappearing into Erwin’s heated asshole that was pulling his length in, of the blond man’s equally stiff throbbing cock, knocking lightly against his hard abdominals.

Erwin groaned, as Levi adjusted his hips and pushed his cock into his canal in a slightly different angle – obviously striking his sweet spot. “…there…?” Levi nearly purred, and he felt Erwin nod almost frantically, desperately, mumbling “…yeah…!” – and pleasure sizzled and bounced across Levi’s body at this lewd and needy sound, at the feel of Erwin’s tightness all around his girth, pushing down on it, embracing his dick; and so he did it again. Aiming for his co-actor’s prostate – and another deep moan, forcing Erwin to open his mouth completely, the sound breaking out of his body with full force, told Levi he had hit his target dead-on. 

And that’s where the last of Levi’s control was destroyed by a tidal wave of lust, his forehead pushing into the damp skin of Erwin’s back, both of his arms snaking around this big and muscled man, his idol, his crush, his co-star, and he started ploughing into him, over and over again, his body moving sharply and forcefully without his distinct permission, needing to fuck, grunting whenever his hard cock slid in and out of Erwin’s loose ass – the man’s throaty and husky moans increasing in their intensity.

“Oh fuck, fuck… fuck…!” Erwin was panting, his hand back around his own cock – while the other had wrapped itself around one of Levi’s wrist, holding him tight, the gesture and grasp somewhat encouraging, even if probably placed there to undermine the newlyweds-scenario, their alleged spousal closeness. Levi didn’t care. Not in this moment. He also didn’t give a fuck about the cameras, acting only according to his instincts. Feelings and morals a concept unknown to the beast inside of him that had been unleashed and that had taken control over his body.

The sensations were amazing, an intense orgasm building itself up in his balls, indications of the peak flowing into his dick in the form of small, electrical shocks, with every thrust made, his abdominals clenching, his mouth producing obscure sounds, combinations of grunts, groans and wanton moans as he continued to slam into Erwin and he felt the man rock back, meeting every single of his thrust, making his cock push deeper inside of the blond man’s ass; Erwin’s deep masculine voice resonating all around him, weaving together with his own melody of deep, feral desire.

“Yeah… yeah… yeah…!” Erwin was moaning, almost sounding as if he was the one slamming his dick into someone; only he didn’t. He was the one taking it, making the raven’s electrical circuits of his mind nearly overload again, lewd realisations flooding it: Erwin Smith was taking Levi Ackerman’s cock – and he was moaning like a kinky motherfucker.

“Fuck!” Levi hissed – the pressure in his abdomen, his balls, his dick building, increasing, building up, making goosebumps erupt all over his heated and damp skin, his muscles clenched as did Erwin’s all around his cock and— “_Fuck_!” Levi now really shouted, pulling out at the very last moment, another agonizing sound of frustration leaving his lips as he prevented himself from climaxing inside of Erwin, turning onto his back, covering his face with both of his hands, inner voices murmuring disgusting things as to calm down, stop himself from rubbing his dick against Erwin’s skin to finish what he had started.

“…nice…” he heard someone whisper, but he couldn’t tell whether that had been Jacob, Jimmy or Behring himself.

He felt the mattress shift, and when he finally dared to lower his hands and open his eyes, Erwin was sitting next to him, looking down at him, his mouth still slightly parted, breathing still somewhat heavy and his cock – as Levi couldn’t stop his gaze from shifting down there shortly – still hard. The man grinned faintly.

…and it was such a beautiful and erotic sight that Levi was sure he would never forget this moment again.

“All right,” Behring said, clapping his hands, “Levi, get your dick clean and then shove it into this beautiful man’s mouth, okay?” he directed shamelessly and Levi merely nodded, his throat too dry to retort in any way, his traitor of a dick stirring at the pictures his director’s words were creating in his mind.

He hurried, washing off the lube and any invisible traces of Erwin’s asshole off his length, and then went back – and froze. Erwin was waiting for him on his knees, Jimmy adjusting the lighting, while Behring was saying something to the blond, who nodded, his cock semi-hard between the muscled, spread thighs; and then those blue eyes focussed on Levi, and Erwin gave him a light smirk. That’s the moment Behring turned his head to also look at Levi.

“All right, gentlemen,” he said, picking up his camera. “I’ll be filming the ending scene on my own,” he announced and Jimmy and Jacob left the room, talking about some videogame and the sandwiches left in the kitchen that they would eat now.

Levi swallowed. With only one other person present, this was even _more_ intimate than the whole thing had already been – and he grew nervous. But his dick – yes, that traitor that it fucking was – throbbed, and he felt himself walking towards Erwin.

They didn’t exchange any kind of dialogue this time.

When Levi came to a stop right in front of the blond man, knees all wobbly and weak, his dick on the other hand solid and hard, Erwin immediately grabbed it at the base, blue mesmerizing eyes moving to lay their focus onto Levi’s grey orbs, and while the man looked at him in this intense and deep way, Levi’s gaze went back and forth between his sapphires and mouth and he observed – fascinated, _utterly fascinated_ – how Erwin’s big and wet tongue darted out; and the moment this wet and obscene and hot muscle touched his cock for the very time, an equally obscene and degenerated sound left Levi’s mouth, a moan so deep, one could have thought it came directly out of hell where a fucking orgy of sinners was unfolding, directed by none other than Satan himself.

Erwin’s tongue moved almost languidly from base to root, licking thoroughly over the pulled-back foreskin, tracing a particularly thick vein up to Levi’s fat, round, moist head, lapping up the pre-come welling at the slit without any sort of hesitation; and the sight of Erwin swallowing it, as his tongue slid back inside of his cavity to slick itself up with some more saliva was… magical, making Levi moan again. Louder, when Erwin’s tongue was repeating what it had just done: gliding over his whole length to then circle his sensitive head slowly.

Levi had no idea how long this beautiful torture lasted, Erwin watching his face intently, as he was giving Levi’s hard dick a thorough licking, coating the whole length with his saliva, swirling enticingly slow over his moist cockhead, making desire stir deep in Levi’s belly, his balls, which Erwin was now caressing with right hand – while his left hand wandered between his own legs, the man beginning to stroke himself in the same agonizingly lethargic pace.

…and as much as his fingers were tingling and dark voices kept telling him to grab Erwin’s strands and force his cock down this man’s throat, his lust taking on an unknown strong form that was making him almost scared, Levi resisted; his fingers merely threading softly through the blond, dishevelled strands, tousling them even more, while remaining gentle, as he continued to look down on the man licking his shaft and tip.

Because…

Because this was still Erwin Smith.

And even if Levi had sensed some kind of power shift between them, he would never – never – dare to face fuck Erwin Smith. 

This was a line he wouldn’t cross, couldn’t breach, didn’t _want_ to break.

Yeah, okay – so Erwin Smith was blowing him. But: Levi wanted the man to be in control of this situation. He wanted Erwin to determine the pace, the angle, to choose how much of Levi he would take into his mouth in the end. That he would come either way, Levi was more than sure of, actually already now almost at the edge of blowing his load… Because watching Erwin’s skilful tongue glide up and down his cock was arousing enough; another one of his deepest fantasies turning into reality.

“Fuck…” it slipped out of his mouth, his tone deep, voice husky and kind of broken, hoarse, “…fuck…!”

And then… And then…

And then Erwin suddenly wrapped his lips around Levi’s tip, giving it a single hard suck, making the younger man’s moan turn into a primal cry, his head lolling back, and Levi’s fingers fist in Erwin’s hair shortly, before he shouted at himself to relax his digits again. And when he did, lowering his head down again to look back at Erwin, the blond went down on his fucking shaft, ingesting it inch by inch – till his aquiline nose pressed against Levi’s pubic region, and the raven’s tip was pushed against the back of Erwin’s utterly hot throat; and when the man swallowed and it constricted around his cockhead, Levi saw fucking stars, his head falling back with massive force, a deep and desperate, a broken sound of desire leaving Levi’s lips.

“_Ohmyfuckinggod_…!” he moaned as Erwin started to bob his head, as Levi’s dick started to slide in and out of this… fucking greedy mouth. Erwin’s tongue flicking over his mega sensitive underside, just underneath the head, each time the blond slid it back between his swollen lips. And when Erwin raised his head, he tightened those lips around Levi’s dick, using more pressure to suck on his glans, making the younger man’s head almost explode, over and over again, and when Erwin started to moan all around his dick, causing alluring vibrations to heighten Levi’s arousal…. It was… It was too much…

Fingers digging into Erwin’s scalp involuntarily, Levi came.

And when he did, his whole body went stiff, a volt of electricity erupting from his balls, racing through his dick, his whole body, making the muscles in his abdomen and thighs clench – making him let his hot and thick semen squirt into Erwin’s mouth, down his throat, who didn’t pull away. On the contrary: Erwin swallowed his length, swallowed his load, pressing his nose firmly into Levi’s abdomen, his hand grabbing Levi’s ass and pushing his hips further against his face; as if he didn’t want any droplet to be spilled, moaning at the same time and shuddering lightly – because Erwin was coming, too…

“_Holymotherfuckinghell_…” Levi breathed out as the last spurts of his seed passed into his alleged husband’s mouth and the feeling of Erwin’s hot tongue, his soft throat muscles, his lips around his manhood became… too much. “Ha…. Fuck…!”

Levi pulled out, taking a step back and letting himself fall onto the edge of the bed, his breath still uneven, heart pounding loudly. 

And then…

Then…

And then it was over.

Just like that.

“Wonderful!” cheered Behring. “We got it! That’s a wrap!”

And Levi couldn’t move, watching Erwin wipe his mouth with the back of his hand and get back on his feet. 

That was it.

That was seriously it.

And he couldn’t believe it – that they had seriously reached the end of the shoot. Because to Levi… To Levi it felt as if all of it had just begun, even though he was aware they had already spent hours in the pent house…

It was over.

They would part ways in just a few minutes.

And…

And Levi wondered what Erwin’s last words would be to him today, and if he would still be nice and flirty, now that the job was done – and he froze. Thinking about those rumours that had been unnerving him before the shoot. That Erwin was rather full of himself, cocky and condescending.

But…

Once again, the man surprised Levi in a nice way, holding out his hand, those rosy lips pulled into that gorgeous smile Levi wouldn’t be able to forget. “C’mon,” Erwin murmured, “I bet you want to take another shower.”

Levi felt himself nodding warily, and he gladly took the man’s offered big and warm and wonderfully soft hand, pulling him onto his feet. “Thanks,” he mumbled, and Erwin… freaking winked at him repeatedly.

And that’s when Behring started talking to them again. “Why don’t you make use of the Jacuzzi out on the main terrace?” he suddenly suggested and both Erwin and Levi looked at him kind of confused – because hadn’t the man just announced they were done filming? The explanation came with Behring’s following sentence. “I have this place rented out for almost two more hours, might as well use it till the very end. And: you deserve it. You two did a fantastic job! Take some time to calm down before taking off, what do you say?”

Ah, there it was again, that stupid, stupid heart of his, coupled with those despicable voices of hope, shouting at Erwin: _say yes, say yes, say yes!_ Because that would give them the opportunity to talk – about possible pierogi plans… and Erwin’s possibly developing crush on him… right?

“I’ll have to check with Moblit,” the man said, turning to Levi, “what about you?” he asked. “Do you actually have some time left or do you be somewhere else?”

He didn’t.

Well, Hange wanted to make pizza and get him wine, but that could wait. Hange would understand. _They had to. _

“I-I don’t have any, um, appointments or shit like that… I m-mean: I could stay a little longer, yeah… sure, totally…” he muttered, his mind still kind of floating after his second, extremely intense orgasm. _In Erwin’s mouth. _

“All right,” Erwin said, somewhat energetic, “then let me just call Moblit real quick, all right?” The man left before Levi could retort anything, and Levi had to take a deep breath to calm himself down again, pulling on the white bathrobe again. Behring was grinning at him and then approached Levi, leaning closer to the younger man.

“That’s you chance, Levi,” he whispered, somewhat conspiratorially – and the raven could have freaked out then, if it wasn’t for the fact that he had _told_ Behring about his super-duper mega-crush on Erwin during his long talk. That was actually one of the reasons the man had agreed on the newlyweds-thing…

“Y-yeah… right…” Levi mumbled, trying to smile, which, once again, turned into a grimace. Because having Behring root for him this way was… kind of creepy. 

It took Erwin a few minutes to sort things out and when he came back into the room… he was fully dressed, and Levi’s heart ached. Because that could only mean that…

“I have to go,” the man unceremoniously announced, “something’s come up,” he stated, looking at Levi, walking towards him. And it happened so quickly the latter wasn’t really able to register it fully: Erwin bending down, pressing another quick kiss onto his cheek. 

It was a matter of only a few seconds and Levi hated himself for not having payed enough attention to it unfolding. “Thank you for the great shoot,” Erwin said to him, already turning to Behring, shaking hands with the director.

“I’ll call you,” said Franz and Erwin nodded – and then, as Levi realised with his heart starting to hammer in his chest, that the blond man was already turning around in order to just fucking walk off, yet again, something snapped inside of Levi, made him act before thinking about his next steps, once again following instinct.

“C-can I have your number?” he asked, making Erwin stop.

The blond turned around, and something inside of Levi broke a little; for the man was… the man was frowning slightly, wasn’t he?

“Um,” Erwin said, and Levi held his breath, “sure…” he then quickly mumbled, looking around the room, eyes settling on Behring’s notebook. “Franz, can I borrow a piece of paper from your book?” he asked the man, who immediately jumped up and ripped it out himself, pushing a pen into Erwin’s hand as well, smiling briefly at Levi as he quickly returned to packing up his equipment; and Levi… Levi watched Erwin scribble something down on the piece of paper which he then handed over to him, their hands brushing once more, making Levi’s heart flutter, as he spotted the numbers that meant so much to him and…

“Th-thank you…” he muttered, looking up at Erwin, who… thankfully was back to smiling at him, in a way that made his knees go weak again, the frown wiped from his face.

_Seriously, how could one man have such an impact on him?! _

“I’m sorry, I really need to go now,” Erwin apologized again, raised his hand as a means of goodbye, wishing everyone a nice evening – and then he turned around and left, and Levi remained plastered to the ground staring at Erwin’s phone number, his emotions in utter turmoil.

Hours later, he still wasn’t able to calm down, the pizza lying heavy in his stomach, the dubious amounts of wine he’d consume making his mind fuzzy – as had the detailed retellings of his sex and other interactions with Erwin done, because Hange had insisted of wanting to know _everything_.

Even though he tried, he couldn’t let this go, couldn’t get out of his rollercoaster ride. His mind kept on spinning.

Levi couldn’t sleep well for three days, staring at the pic Erwin had posted at the day of his shooting, scrolling through the comments of fans freaking out, counting down the days to the premiere of the movie which was to launch in two weeks, expressing their anticipation and excitement, elaborating on the fact they thought Erwin and Levi would look so good together, emphasizing how Erwin probably “broke” the “small Levi” while pounding his ass and whipping his co-star around…

God, Levi thought.

_If they only knew…_

Behring had instructed all of the involved people to keep their mouth shut. He wanted the audience to find out Levi topped while watching the movie for the first time. Hange called it a clever PR-manoeuvre, and Levi had to agree. The highly anticipated release would go up like a bomb once people realised what they were watching. Everyone was sure about that.

And Levi wished he could also be as sure about the things between Erwin and him – if there truly were any things between them.

He kept staring at his phone, Erwin’s contact information, the man’s number. He had started typing a message to the blond approximately ten times, always deleting it at the end without having sent it, always finding it to sound way too dramatic, way too creepy, way too… ‘stalkerish’. Until Hange couldn’t take it anymore.

“I swear to fucking god, if you don’t contact him tonight, I fucking will, and then I will write truly embarrassing stuff to make you want to go into hiding forever, all right?” they nearly snapped at him – and Levi finally obliged, somewhat happy to have been given this little push that he’d obviously needed, his fingers trembling slightly as he typed in the words Hange and him had agreed on after an hour of discussing.

“Hey Erwin, it’s Levi. How are you?”

…sure, this wasn’t spectacular or clever or witty or flirty. But that, as Hange said, was the point. Levi didn’t want to come across as desperate, clingy – the creepy stalker fan-guy – so he needed something casual, something normal; and asking someone how they were doing was just that, and a kind of door opener; enabling a conversation to ensure once Erwin answered, automatically asking Levi how he was.

Only… 

Only that didn’t happen.

The three little dots informed Hange and Levi that Erwin started to reply immediately. But his answer was nothing the two friends would have expected it to be.

_“Sorry. I’m not Erwin. Wrong number.” _ It’s all the message said. And Levi… Levi couldn’t think straight for a minute.

“…what?” uttered Hange, practically ripping out the phone of Levi’s hands, beginning to type again. And this made Levi snap out of it.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” he hissed, trying to get his phone back but Hange just stood up and walked away, busy with writing.

“Shut up, Levi, I’m trying to find out what’s going on.” And Hange did. Holding the screen out to Levi so that he could see.

It was a selfie Not-Erwin had taken after Hange had asked if this was a joke or truly someone else’s phone. It was a blond, all right, but a girl. Probably in the beginning of her twenties, smiling apologetically into the camera while shrugging. “I’m so sorry, he must have given you the wrong number,” the girl, Sophia, wrote. “I wish you all the best.”

“…what…” Levi mumbled – and his mind started spinning again.

Erwin _had_ seemed rather distracted at the end, when he suddenly had needed to basically flee the set, hadn’t he?”

“Maybe he messed up one digit,” he mumbled, thinking out loud.

“Yeah, maybe…” Hange muttered, not sounding convinced. Their eyes locked.

“You don’t think so?” Levi asked, sharper than intended and Hange sighed.

“I hope it was an accident,” they stated, “but maybe… maybe he intentionally gave you a wrong number.”

“Bullshit,” Levi spat, shaking his head. 

…but, if he had to be honest, he wasn’t all too sure about that.

And what happened the next day, as well as a few days after, unfortunately made him convinced that Erwin had, indeed, intentionally given him a fake combinations of numbers.

Because, as it turned out, Erwin Smith was… _a fucking bastard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...because would it even be an eruri fic without some heartache and angst...?
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH for all your feedback on the previous chapter. You positively kicked me in the ass with your words and made me compose this speedy update. I am starting with typing chapter 6 RIGHT NOW, by the way...
> 
> And I will take some time to get back to each and everyone of you - your comments make my day and I read all of them multiple times, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.
> 
> And big THANKS to the lovely nyatche for providing me with the idea of having Levi spoon Erwin 😍


	6. Lunar storm, part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers, once more I wanted to THANK YOU for all your wonderful comments and reactions that made me laugh and scream and grin and sigh - I enjoy each and every one of your words and I am so sorry I haven't gotten to answer to your comments yet. I am so obsessed with this story, it's basically all I do if I am not sleeping or eating. And because I am so obsessed this chapter was getting out of hand. That's why I decided to split it into two parts. I am already working on the second part of which a lot has already been written, so you will not have to wait long for the update. Gimme like... one or two more days. Told ya: obsessed... ;) And if you want to know how the chapters are coming along, follow me on Twitter! @SummoningIsis Once again I cannot wait to read your thoughts on this! I loved all those theories on why Erwin did what he did so far, thank you so much for that!

“Why don’t you just message Erwin on Twitter?” Hange enquired a day after the unwanted communication with Sophia while the two of them were having dinner at Levi’s place, and after Levi hadn’t said _  
a word_ throughout half an hour, his mind still occupied with the wrong number, going over it again and again, asking himself a thousand questions to which he had no answer, not even a clue. 

He was as fucking confused as he had been on the day of shooting the movie with Erwin.

Of course: Writing him a direct message on Twitter _was_ an option, one that Levi had already considered, yet one he didn’t _like_. “It’s not personal enough,” he answered. Because even if this was deemed to be a private way of communicating on said platform, Levi was absolutely convinced that Erwin wasn’t the only one with the login data. Because any kind of ‘celebrity’ had their people monitoring and feeding their social media accounts. Hell, Hange was logged into _his_ Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouPorn and whatnot, and it was them who was managing all the messages coming in. Levi just used it to upload pics, to like and retweet stuff he was into – though even _that_ Hange did more often than enough for him when he lacked the time or simply didn’t _feel_ like doing it. And considering this was Erwin fucking Smith they were talking about, the man probably had a whole _PR-team_ managing his accounts. 

Levi thought of the photo the man had posted just as it was announced that they’d be shooting together, the one he had answered to with a very lewd pic of himself; and one thing was for sure concerning said posting: Erwin hadn’t taken that picture himself. It had been clearly shot by another person. Moblit or any other member of the said social media team. 

“If I write Erwin on Twitter, probably ten other people will read my message,” Levi complained, digging his fork into the neglected piece of meat he’d cooked for them, “that’s making me feel fucking uncomfortable.”

“But it’s your only option…” Hange remarked quietly, almost in a creepy sing-song, “and if you are right and Erwin just fucked up because he was distracted or something: then what’s the fucking problem?”

“You know I hate talking to people, especially a _group_ of people.”

“You wouldn’t be really _talking_ to them,” his friend protested, laughing, “so they’d read your message, tell Erwin about it – and he would get back to you. With the right number. I don’t see anything _uncomfortable_ in that.” Levi sighed, stirring his piece of meat in the sauce without any intention of eating it. He was so stressed and somewhat depressed, that he didn’t feel any real hunger. “Unless…” Hange continued, their voice trailing off until Levi decided to look them in the eyes. Only then his manager picked up again, “unless you are actually thinking that Erwin really gave you a wrong number _intentionally_.”

Ah, there it was. The _truly_ uncomfortable thing about all of this, that had been nagging at the back of Levi’s mind. A wound Hange stuck their fingers in without any hesitation. Sleep hadn’t helped Levi. The doubts had been born the day before and they were still growing. He scowled. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Yeah, cause conversation between us is flowing really nicely today,” Hange commented in a sarcastic way, making Levi feel bad.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry, babe,” they replied, “I need to go now anyway, run some errands. And I strongly advice to think about that direct message so you can move on either way. Unless you want me to contact Moblit and just _ask_ him for Erwin’s number…?”

For a second, Levi considered _this_ option. But with those doubts in his mind, he came to one conclusion: That being denied the number by Moblit directly would even be more uncomfortable than his DM simply being _ignored_… That that would _hurt_ even more. And that’s why he shook his head, nerves fluttering, lips pressed together. “No, you don’t have to,” he stressed and Hange nodded.

“Fine. If you change your mind, call me. I’ll see you tomorrow morning to discuss the propositions and appointments you have for next week?”

“All right.”

And when Hange was gone, Levi tried to distract himself with chores, with cleaning, which usually worked pretty well. This time, however, it didn’t do shit to him. Especially not, when he was tidying up the bedroom and Erwin Smith was staring at him from almost every angle; and Levi tried so hard not to look at any of the posters covering his walls and making his private room look like a teenage cave. “Fucking hell,” he cursed, finally giving up and practically throwing the vacuum cleaner into the corner. And after two hours passed in which he couldn’t calm himself down, he decided to push his luck, just like he had done on the day of their shooting.

Because that had worked out rather well, hadn’t it? With Behring agreeing to what Levi proposed.  
Why shouldn’t it work out again?

So he would just write that god damn message on Twitter.  
Because: Might as well take that chance…

_Right?_

Plopping down on the sofa, he grabbed his phone. But his nerves got the better of him… And so instead of composing the message, Levi started scanning his feed first, liking and retweeting some of the stuff that caught his attention, made him laugh, or that was simply hot, like that new pic of Mike Zacharias with his fat cock out, some drops of semen still moistening his exposed tip. 

This is also how he came across a just freshly posted article on _Boner Mag_’s official website, covering another interesting shooting that had actually taken place this morning. “Oh,” Levi mumbled – because he hadn’t actually known that Mike had been paired up with Eren Jaeger, another rookie just like him. The kid had started half a year before Levi – though he’d never reached the raven’s popularity. Eren just didn’t have the looks, the stamina, nor the ability to take cock so well like Levi did; or two cocks at once, if desired, the raven-haired thought, smirking.

But as he started reading the article, his blood began to run cold and wiped that smirk off his face rather quickly.

The piece not only dealt with some of the details about the movie – according to the writing the shooting had taken place at a private home with a huge pool and was to include some lewd water sex – but also brought up Levi’s shooting with Erwin, and talked about older and well-known stars interacting with younger newbies like him and Eren in front of the camera in general, dealing with the question of which side would possibly profit more from those movies and the attention around them.

Focussing on the latest shooting at the beginning, Mike Zacharias had been quoted quite a lot. And Levi did not like what the man was saying: Because the way the porn star was describing Eren was the way he was afraid that Erwin saw… _him_; because he had a feeling he had acted just like that Jaeger kid when shooting with the blond…

“Shooting with partners who turn out to be your fans can be a great experience – however, it can also be a larger hassle,” is what Mike said. And also stuff about having to calm Eren down, take away his nervousness stemming from the kid somehow idolising his older co-star, which had delayed some of their shooting time. Zacharias also talked about the gap of experience becoming evident while interacting and shit like that, while at the same time emphasizing that the kid had done well nonetheless and was truly talented; probably because he didn’t want people to think this movie would be shit in the end and he didn’t want bad blood between him and his younger co-star…

And then came the part about his shoot with Erwin, to which no details had been leaked yet, the author reminding his readers of Behring’s preference to keep things secret and wanting to surprise his audience. 

And obviously the journalist had talked to Erwin. 

And what Levi read…  
The words that appeared on his screen as he read the article…

_They broke his heart. _

They messed with his brain.  
They confused him even more.  
They made him angry.

They _hurt_ him.

…_Erwin_ hurt him.

The man, who had previously called him cute and who had told him the rumours he had heard about him weren’t true in his opinion, suddenly described him as being “a little bit too energetic at times, boarding on creepy” concerning Levi’s “infatuation” for Erwin, “that had obviously started in his young teenage, tragic years, where he was probably desperately looking for love.” Erwin was quoted saying that “Levi, despite being a natural in front of the camera, was a bit much at times,” even though the “fantastic scenario” Franz Behring had required them to be specifically close. “But there were lines a professional with long-term experience would not have crossed”, and that the raven “still had a lot to learn.” 

But what hurt the most was the line about Erwin regarding Levi as a sort of confused little brother, also due to their age gap and the natural immaturity that the raven’s age allegedly brought with it. Erwin Smith hoped that shooting with him would help boost Levi’s career “and bring him the experience needed in this industry, where personal life and business should never be mixed together.”

Levi did not finish the article.

His heart was hammering so loudly in his chest. But this time… this time this wicked rhythm had not been prompted by positive feelings, by warmth, by happiness or nervousness due to being in love. This time _burning rage_ and _shock_ were the cause of the fast beating, and his skin tingled unpleasantly; as if thousands of ants were running up and down his body, frantically seeking for something to disintegrate in joined effort. His chest constricted, and his breathing became heavier, faster. Levi felt dizzy. He felt hot and cold at the same time. He felt like screaming and kicking and hitting something or someone.

…but the worst feeling… 

_The worst feeling was the burning behind his eyelids. _

Levi pressed his lips together tightly, he pressed his fingernails into his thighs, he bit his tongue, he fisted the pillow lying next to him – because he wouldn’t, not now, not ever, cry because of Erwin fucking Smith and the pile of _bullshit_ this man had told that sleazy reporter of a dick.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Help _Levi_ boost _his_ career?  
When Behring had actually threatened to end _Erwin’s_ if _he_ didn’t choose to bottom? Because Erwin wasn’t _versatile_ enough?

What the fuck…?!

Why was Erwin saying those vicious things? When he could be named the one who had actually breached that professional and private line directly in the elevator, touching Levi, putting that fucking strand of hair behind his ear, telling him he was cute? After the way they had flirted the whole day?  
And after Levi had done _everything_ in order to make this new experience pleasurable for his co-star, had been gentle and understanding, treating the blond like a fucking princess? How in the world would that asshole felt if Levi had ignored his little secret and would have just fucked him raw, not mixing personal and business life? _Huh!? _ Instead of just enjoying this this man had to walk around and talk Levi down.

_What the fuck was this fucking bastard thinking?! _

“Fucking liar,” he hissed between clenched teeth, tears still burning behind his eyelids – but Levi didn’t let them escape, starting to type an e-mail to a journalist from _Boner Mag_ whom he had known for years now, Jean Kirschtein, wanting to tell him all about the true background of the shooting which the man could then publish upon release, how Erwin had been forced to bottom by Behring who had lost interest in the man topping, how Moblit had told him about Erwin’s little secret and that this had been Erwin’s deflowering, how considerate Levi’s had behaved and how the blond man had continued to neglect the border between private and business affairs in the first place.

But…

But Levi didn’t send it.  
He wasn’t even able to finish it, deleting everything he had written so far before actually making it to the juicy details.

Because even if some of the rumours about the blond man had turned out to be true, and Erwin had proved to be an asshole – _Levi wasn’t_. 

He kept his promises. He kept secrets bestowed upon him. And he wasn’t the type of man to discredit his colleagues. He wasn’t one to gossip. He wasn’t one to talk shit about any other person. That’s crap that bored housewives did who were frustrated with their own lives and only felt better when they made someone else feel bad, when they hurt them, when they laughed about them, when they spread lies about them. 

And Erwin was just like that: A frustrated, old, fucked-up housewife. And that housewife had played Levi rather well on the day of the shooting… Making him believe they had chemistry going on when all of this had been just an act to… to what actually? 

Why had Erwin done that? Why had he been so nice, why had he been really flirting with Levi? If it was true and he had been really trying to ease the mood, why the hell did he even bother doing that when he actually thought so little of his younger co-star? Why hadn’t he just acted the way Levi had been scared he would: condescending and full of himself? Sure, it would have ruined all of Levi’s long-harboured fantasies and he would have been disappointed, and it definitely would have somehow hurt him then – but the pain would have been much more _bearable_ then than now, than the wound Erwin had caused by doing what he had done during the shoot and then undoing it by saying what he’d said in that interview.

Was… Was Erwin suddenly mad that he had been forced to bottom and was directing his anger towards Levi because he couldn’t be openly mad at Behring? Was the man scared that Levi would be seen as the better top? Was he angry because he actually realised what kind of boost this would truly be for Levi? Was he scared he would be ‘dethroned’ as a porn star? Wouldn’t get to top anymore? Would be forgotten with youngster like Levi taking over the stage?

Those questions also left Hange’s mouth, as they returned after Levi had sent them the link, errands and other duties forgotten – and Hange had almost blown up when reading those words. 

“Who the hell does this motherfucker think he is?!” they ranted as they shared a big bottle of Pinot Grigio with Levi. Hange had immediately wanted to contact _Boner Mag_ about the article, angry that they had only depicted one side, not having interviewed Levi about his point of view, wanted Levi to comment publicly – but the raven declined.

“There’s no point,” he repeated now as Hange tried to convince him one more time, “I don’t feel like doing this shit. Erwin and me, we’re through, and that’s just it. Let him talk crap, I don’t give a fuck.”

“And what if you have to shoot with him one more time?”

“I won’t. I’ll decline.”

Hange sighed. And Levi didn’t like the sound of that. And deep down he knew that declining another movie with Erwin might prove to be problematic. Especially if their first would prove to be a success. And especially if Behring or any other major director was the one making the request. Saying no might hinder his career, he knew, he feared it; the struggle was real and making his pulse quicken. “Let’s not talk about this now,” he thus spat, as Hange opened their mouth, swallowing anything that they had wanted to say, complying.

“Erwin’s a bastard,” they stated after a pause, and Levi nodded.

He felt so… dumb.  
He felt betrayed.  
He felt as if someone had ripped out his fucking heart.

He felt vulnerable.  
And he didn’t like it.

And when Hange left for the night and Levi entered his bedroom, intoxicated as he was, and his eyes focused on Erwin’s sapphires on paper – he fucking lost it. The battle with his tears, and a loud sob escaped his throat, making him feel even more miserable, making him feel ashamed and embarrassed in such a hurtful way, his whole belly constricting, and he felt physically sick, the wet and salty tears flowing down his cheeks, blocking his vision, making him feel so weak and so fragile…

And just so fucking angry.

He decided to sleep on the couch that night, away from those ocean blue eyes that he didn’t want to think about anymore, that had looked at him so intensively that day in the penthouse, that had been filled with lust and softness… And that now made him only think of ice cold water in which he could freeze to death and drown.

“…bastard…” Levi whimpered, sniffling, wrapping himself in his blanket as if he was trying to hide in some sort of cocoon, angry that he had started crying, and he wished… 

He wished his mom was here, to put his arms around him, give him a kiss on top of his head like she had used to do when putting him to bed; and considering he hadn’t felt this need for a few years now… it made everything so much worse. It kicked him into a deep, emotional abyss, tears now flowing without any restriction, the barrier holding them back long crumbled, his throat hurting from all those pathetic sobbing noises his body was creating.

Trying to fall asleep that night was torturous, Levi’s mind pulling up images he didn’t want to see and eventually, after he had finally somehow drifted off after hours of tossing and turning around in his bed, it mingled pictures of Erwin and Kuchel together in his dreams, depicting both of them as monsters; and when Kenny entered those nightmares, telling Levi his mother had lied to him and was still alive but just didn’t want to see him as she was so ashamed of what her boy was doing for a living, Erwin laughing nastily somewhere in the background, Levi awoke with a start – and a throbbing head.

“_Kurwa_…!” he cursed, surprised the probably most vulgar word of his mother-tongue had slipped out of his mouth automatically, literally meaning ‘whore’ but being used as a very vile equivalent of ‘fuck’.

Levi was fluent in Polish but he barely had someone to talk to in said language. He hadn’t used it in a long-ass while, the last person he talked to probably even being his uncle Kenny; and that had been two years ago, after his first porno had come out, when Kenny, drunk as fuck, had called him on the phone and screamed at him for being a fucking disgrace to the family, telling him how his mother surely wept in heaven and that he was glad his sister was dead and didn’t have to witness Levi’s downfall, talking shit about Levi going to hell for this and whatnot.

“Fucking Catholic hypocrite,” Levi murmured as he wiped his moist face, hating himself for obviously having continued to cry in his sleep, vowing that this had been the first and last time he’s shed tears because of Erwin. “Fucking ridiculous, _kurwa jego mać_…!” he cursed, getting up.

…which literally meant something along the lines of “his mother is a whore”… even thought he didn’t mean to insult his own grandmother. That was just the way Polish cursing worked…

Levi took a shower. And his chest hurt.  
He forced himself to have a small breakfast. And his chest hurt.  
He went to the gym and spent an hour jabbing at kicking furiously at the punching bag in order not to kill anyone for real, making people around him look frightened. And his chest hurt.  
He discussed his appointments with Hange over freshly brewed tea, somewhat glad a shooting, planned long before the one with Erwin, would finally take place the following day – because work, sex, always helped him take his mind off things; but when Hange reminded him of who would fuck him, Levi’s chest hurt – because Porco Galliard was a handsome blond with an undercut, and even though he wasn’t as big and old as Erwin… he still kind of reminded him of said bastard.

“Are you going to be okay?” Hange asked softly, and Levi nodded.

Even if Erwin claimed he was lacking experience and thus professionalism, Levi knew better. He’d fucking prove this to that asshole. “I’m gonna be fine,” he assured, even managing a little grin.

But he wasn’t.  
Damn, he _wasn’t_ fine.

Porco was charming, a funny guy, maybe a little bit in love with himself, but polite and forthcoming nonetheless. He had a hot body, too, lots of piercings and tattoos covering his skin, and hell, this boy could fuck. But Levi was hurt, from the inside, and it was so hard to loosen up because of that, to give in, to focus on directions, the verbal interactions with his shooting partner, his mind always returning to the feelings he had had, when shooting with Erwin, how pleasant all the shivers had been running up and down his spine, how light-headed he had been, how that certain kind of warmth had started to spread inside of his chest.

Being around Porco was nothing like that.

Nothing.

It wasn’t bad, no… But compared to that fresh experience it was… It was way colder, flat. There wasn’t any sort of big chemistry going on. They were just two dudes who didn’t hate each other’s guts and who had to fuck – and when Levi tried to keep his dick hard and tried to boost his lust in order to finally completely loosen up, his mind did what it had always done in such a situation: it conjured up images of Erwin Smith.

Only this time… Only this time, when Levi pictured all the details of the man and not only thought of the feelings the blond had evoked in him – _it hurt like a bitch_.

The images made his insides freeze, his guts stir in a very non-pleasing way, they made him tense up, and Porco’s big-ass dick infiltrating his ass from behind, the man pushing in the last inches of his cock, fucking hurt. “Stop, stop, wait—“ Levi hissed, fingers digging into the bedding, just like his co-star’s digits were clawing into his hips.

“…you okay?” came the breathless enquiry from the director as well as his co-star and Levi held his hand up, eyes closed tightly, a storm raging inside of him.

“Yeah, just… just gimme a minute…” he pressed out, biting in his bottom lip next to focus on that pain instead, retaking his place in the formation of his inner battle.

He needed this to work. Getting off would release a flood of wonderful endorphins, helping him to push the coldness away that had invaded his emotional world. And he wanted to prove to Erwin that the man was wrong, and Levi was a professional, could keep private and business matters apart from each other, didn’t he? 

Didn’t he?

As rage, stemming from the memories of the article, started flowing through his veins, pushing the hurt away, Levi nearly laughed out. Anger was good, he thought, focussing on Porco’s fingers that had started to rub his hips, and he touched his own dick, stroking himself back to hardness without thinking of anything not connected to this shoot, telling his mind to focus on the sensations of his hands and Porco’s dick inside of his ass instead, telling the man next to switch positions, the cameras readjusting to film the pierced guy fuck Levi facing the raven; his wide-spread legs forming the letter “M” as Porco started pushing in and out of him slowly, the man’s hands grabbing onto Levi’s thighs, their eyes connected. 

Because looking at his co-star made it easier for Levi not to think about Erwin. It allowed him to focus on the here and now – and somehow… somehow he got through it. He even came, when Porco shot his load all over his face in the end and Levi was jerking himself off during the cum shot. The director was pleased, his co-star surprisingly hugged him briefly when he was saying goodbye, thanking him for a good shoot. And the man even asked him if he felt like having a beer downtown, no romantic feelings or whatsoever involved, just a drink shared between colleagues, he emphasized. And probably Levi would have agreed, happy that Porco proved to be an exception and didn’t find him cold – if his chest didn’t hurt so much because he had been played a few days ago, thinking the same about Erwin Smith and so much more...

Levi did, however, agree to take a few pictures with Porco, and he chose the one, where the man was hugging him from behind pressing a kiss onto his cheek while both of them were grinning into the camera, to post on Twitter, his hands trembling a little as he typed in the caption reading: “Lovely shoot, lovely lad, lovely lay ;-)”

“That’s a nice pic,” Hange commented as Levi got into the car when they picked him up as they always did, “so it was good, then?”

“…it was all right,” Levi answered, conversation dying down after that as he stared at his phone instead, observing the growing numbers of likes and shares as well as comments. They were decent, but the success of the posting was not at all comparable to the one achieved concerning his shoot with Erwin…

_And Levi’s chest hurt. _

The pain grew even worse as the days passed and he realised that no matter what he posted on Twitter – a picture of him in the shower, revealing his naked torso covered by white shower gel imitating cum, a shot of him taking a thorough sexy lick of vanilla ice cream, a short sequence of Levi taking off his sunglasses and pushing them into his hair while he stared seductively at the camera – Erwin did not like or retweet _anything_ of it.

Not a single post.

Which was… _unusual_.

And… And it… It just fucking _hurt_.

Especially because Erwin was active himself, posting and retweeting stuff, which made it very clear to the raven that Erwin was deliberately ignoring him on social media. And Levi knew that Erwin was active because… Because he’d looked. He’d stalked, as he always did. And it was so hard not to click on the little heart-button beneath the things Erwin shared; because it was almost a habit, liking everything that motherfucker put out there on the web.

Levi still could not understand what the fuck had happened. Why Erwin had been so nice to him and then had given him a wrong number, talked shit about him publicly and ignored him on social media.

What had he done to deserve this?

He would have been fine with the fact that Erwin had only flirted with him because of non-romantic feelings, he would have been fine with being friends or just good colleagues even. Why did Erwin shun him? Why did Erwin cut him out of his life like that?

The following days his mind didn’t stop racing, and his chest didn’t stop hurting.

He was glad he had some meetings with directors, a few photo shootings and that Hange insisted on him feeding his YouPorn with some masturbation videos. Reading nice comments about his body and dick proved to be helpful. For a few minutes at least. Because then, people started to talk about how excited they were for the movie with Levi and Erwin to come out.

_And Levi’s chest hurt. _

Levi knew that… That maybe he was thinking and acting a bit melodramatically. After all, Hange had been right with one of their drunken side comments, about Levi acting like an ex-lover when actually he had just met Erwin and interacted with him for one day. But then again Hange had no idea what it had really felt like to Levi. 

It had been the first time he had felt something when filming. Because he had harboured all the emotions for Erwin for years, and when the man had seemed like motherfucking prince charming, of course the concoction of feelings overflowed. It had been just one day – but it felt like a lifetime to Levi. Erwin had touched something deep within him, had ignited the will and desire to be close to the man, no matter in what type of relationship. So being completely cast aside now, for reasons unknown, felt… It felt… It felt horrible. 

It was the worst.

What the hell had he done?

Had Erwin received some type of information about him he didn’t like the day of the shooting when he had gone away to ask Moblit if he could stay behind with Levi?

Had he even really planned on spending that time in the Jacuzzi with him, or had this also been just a joke?

Had Erwin just found him truly too clingy and had decided to play along for the shooting’s sake, to then blurt out his real opinion after?

Levi needed answers.  
But he was too scared to ask the questions.  
He couldn’t bring himself to ask Hange to contact Moblit.  
He felt miserable.

And it totally ruined the release of “_Mr. and Mr. Smith_” for him which… Which made the internet blow up yet again.

Behring’s choice of being completely secretive about the type of movie as well as about his co-star’s sexual positions had proved to be clever. Because people loved being served the unexpected. And they did _not_ expect for Erwin Smith to bottom, just like Levi’s fans did not expect the raven to top – and the majority of viewers seemed to like that very much. No. They _loved_ it. They _adored_ it. They _devoured_ it.

“Don’t you wanna see it now?” Hange enquired a bit shocked when they were having tea in one of Levi’s favourite places that day. “I’m dying to see it…!” they nearly squealed.

“Then watch it, I don’t care,” he said, taking a sip of his wonderfully warm beverage.

“But we always watch your movies together!” Hange complained and Levi rolled his eyes.

Yes, it was a weird tradition of theirs, always viewing Levi’s movies together eating popcorn or nachos and drinking beer or wine as if they were watching another Hollywood blockbuster. Levi did not feel any shame towards Hange, they were more like… well, not even a sibling, because that would’ve been weird; watching your pornos with your brothers and sisters. Hange felt… They felt like a part of Levi, more than just a best friend. There were no secrets between them, and no feelings breaching the borders of their platonic bond. Hange had seen him naked and being fucked for a thousand times and they had no shame to undress in front of Levi neither. It was wonderfully relaxed between them. But this time… This time Levi couldn’t bear the thought of watching it with Hange. Watching it _at all_, actually.

“I don’t want to see it,” he said. 

“But you have to!” Hange protested, grabbing their phone, scrolling through something. “We have ten interview requests already about the movie and we need to answer them today!”

“I’ve kinda _been there_ when it was made…” Levi snorted.

“…so tell me, Mr. Ackerman, what do you think about the opening sequence?” Hange prodded, raising their eyebrows and glaring at Levi.

Levi’s heart began to race when he started thinking about the first shots they had done, how Erwin had grabbed his hand, and… “…that lobby and elevator shit?”

“Gee, I don’t know, because I _haven’t seen it_ yet!” Hange nearly screamed back, and an unpleasant shiver ran down his spine.

Because Hange, unfortunately, was right, and he had to watch it in order to be able to answer shit about it, because he had no idea how it had been edited and shit.

“Fuck,” he cursed, his tea suddenly tasting like bitter crap, “I’m not watching it without wine.”

“Fine! Just don’t get _too_ drunk. You still need to answer questions.”

“It’s all written interviews anyway, so _you’re_ the one who has to stay sober to type my answers up correctly. Not _my_ fucking problem.”

Hange sighed. “Damn. Being the manager sucks,” they joked, “I’m getting drunk _after_, then.”

“Be my fucking guest.”

And this is how Levi found himself plopped down on Hange’s old but huge and very comfortable mega couch in front of the big screen TV, a huge glass of his favourite Riesling in his hand, his heart beating a little bit too fast to be regarded as normal.

“Okay, here we go…” Hange mumbled, pressing the play button.

…_and Levi’s chest hurt_.

Erwin and him entering the hotel lobby, checking in, talking to each other with big smiles on their faces, the way the blond _looked_ at him… so full of adoration, happiness and desire… the camera focussing on their golden wedding rings…

_It hurt. _

The moment the elevator doors opened and they came stumbling out, kissing so intensively… the energy when Erwin pressed him against the wall, against the close elevator doors, the way their mouths connected… the scene when Erwin carried him towards the bedroom, his own happy laughter, making him remember how good he actually felt at that moment…

_It hurt. _

Levi watched himself undress in front of Erwin, those mesmerizing blue eyes focussed on his body. He observed as if in a trance how they made out in the whirlpool, how he was feeding Erwin the champagne, how he… how his hand moved between Erwin’s legs and he started stretching him. And the moment Erwin started feeling it, when Levi found his prostate… the camera had captured it. And it was… enthralling and arousing, utterly beautiful and deeply sexy… and…

_And it hurt. _

“Holy shit,” Hange whispered, watching how lust was taking over Erwin, the way it made Levi’s eyes darken as well.

And the actual sex scenes…

“…holy shit…” Hange whispered again, and Levi couldn’t agree more, taking a huge sip of his chilled white wine when he watched Erwin impale himself on his cock from a perspective he hadn’t seen before, glad that Behring had chosen to focus on the blond man’s ass and his hole stretching around the raven’s cock; and watching his own dick disappear in Erwin’s sticky asshole was… Damn, Levi started to grow hard in his pants…

_But it also hurt. _

It was fascinating and erotic just as much as it was painful and saddening.

Levi was actually only now able to really take in their size difference, registering how Erwin’s thighs were almost twice as big as his own, how the man towered over him, how thick the blond’s arms were in comparison to his; and he understood why Behring had chosen _him_ to top Erwin. Because seeing such a short man fuck such a big hunk… it was more than just arousing. It completely fucked with your brain, especially if you had anticipated the complete opposite, it made you feel that power shift that Levi had experienced during the shoot at one point himself, seeing such a tall and proud man _submit_ to a much smaller partner was… simply mind-blowing.

And the blowjob at the end…

There was a beautiful shot taken from behind, depicting Levi’s naked ass, enabling a good look at Erwin through Levi’s spread legs, at the man’s big hand stroking himself; but the close-ups of Erwin’s face, the man’s swollen lips wrapped around Levi’s cock… Jesus… They were just as mesmerising.

They were sinful.

_And they hurt. _

Almost as much as the dialogues had hurt Levi, the way Erwin had addressed him as _Mr. Smith_…

And when the movie ended… Levi could not describe his emotional status. 

He was way too confused for that. Hurt and horny at the same time, ready to cry while at the same time feeling the need to grin, because he was feeling giddy and light-headed, knowing that this movie was… _perfect_. He felt sad and happy at the same time. Angry and defeated. Ready to charge and ready to hide. Chaos had been unleashed in his chest, and he had no idea how to deal with this.

“Let’s check out the comments and ratings so far,” Hange broke the silence that had descended upon them, “and then let’s answer the questions.”

“…okay…” Levi agreed wearily, emptying and instantly refilling his glass.

People were literally going crazy. And only then, as he took his neglected phone into his hand, he saw that Hange had posted something on his account in the morning, one of his older selfies, his torso naked, black jeans hanging seductively low around his waist. He was smirking into the camera in this one. “Are you ready for ‘_Mr. and Mr. Smith_’?” Hange had written, and the notifications were still blowing up. And he was so grateful his manager had thought of this. Almost a thousand people had retweeted and liked the post, and there were hundreds of responses, Levi had already gained 500 more followers. And… reading about how people loved Levi topping, how they would’ve never expected to like seeing it and were now “so ready for more” really made him happy.

For a little bit at least.

Because then, while Hange was ecstatically reading out loud the first very positive reviews and reactions posted by some gay bloggers as well as queer online magazines, Levi couldn’t stop himself from taking a look at Erwin’s profile. He, too, had posted something in the morning, a picture of him lying in bed, hair a bit dishevelled, blue eyes dreamy, smiling seductively – it made Levi’s skin tingle.

_And his chest hurt. _

“Can’t wait to see ‘_Mr. and Mr. Smith_’ – what about you?” was the caption, and people were going crazy here, too, confessing how they had never thought it possible for Erwin to bottom and how hot it actually was. He saw tons of similar responses: “I DID NOT EXPECT THAT WTF!”, “this was so unexpected!!! But soooo hot!”, “holy shit! Did not see THAT coming – and then I was coming. Great job!”

And then his heart froze. Because a lot of people were commenting on the fact how great Erwin and Levi looked together, people talking about the fact that they could totally feel the LOVE between them, asking themselves, if Erwin and Levi actually were a real-life couple – because it had just looked too real; some people then pointing out the article where Erwin had been quoted saying this shit about Levi, discussing that, even though it would be nice for the two of them to be together, as they looked so handsome together, it couldn’t be true due to this.

_…and it hurt. _

It hurt so much.

“Babe,” Hange’s voice pulled him back into reality, “…are you all right?”

“Yeah,” he answered, shutting off his phone and clearing his throat. “Interviews?”

Hange smiled at him softly. “Yeah, interviews… Let’s do it.”

It took them an hour to answer all the questions.

And it hurt like a bitch. Because of course a lot of reporters and bloggers wanted to know what he thought of Erwin as a person and what it had been like to shoot with him, top him. And even though Hange pointed out that this would be a great opportunity to get back at the blond and respond to his remarks in the _Boner Mag_ article, Levi chose not to. Instead, he told Hange to remain professional, saying that Erwin Smith was just that: a professional. With a lot of experience. That he was nice to talk to, yet always focussed on delivering, and that even though both of them had not expected to switch positions, Erwin Smith had had no problem or whatsoever with this course of events, which had made Levi feel very secure, as he had been put under a lot of pressure by having to top such a legend that Erwin Smith. And because he had never done that in front of a camera.

“But Erwin took all of my worries away and made me feel confident about our work,” Levi ended his response that Hange was typing out.

“All right,” they said, looking at their small laptop, “so where can I put the ‘actually Erwin Smith is a total asshole and people should hate his guts and punch him in the face’ part?” they then asked, grinning lightly at Levi.

The raven scoffed, though it felt good to hear such things out of his friend’s mouth. “I guess this will be our little secret,” he then said and Hange sighed.

“No matter what the fucking circumstances are… the movie is really good,” Hange stated calmly, albeit sounding a little bit sad, “and I’m sure it’s gonna help you a lot. Look at how many followers you have already gained today… Just focus on that.”

Hange proved to be right. During the next three days the numbers climbed even higher. Every gay magazine that Levi was a fan of was praising their tape – and its big surprise. Other stars like Nike Dok and Reiner Braun tweeted about it, stating how much they loved it – and for one, wanted to top Erwin, and for two, also found the prospect of being topped by Levi alluring. And the propositions of Levi doing just that started coming in…

Hange was ecstatic.  
And Levi should have been, too.

Only…

_It still hurt so bad. _

And it hurt even more, when Hange told him of the phone call they had received from none other than Franz Behring. “…he wants to do a second part of ‘_Mr. and Mr. Smith_’…” they explained carefully, looking Levi in the eyes. And the raven froze, cold shivers taking over his whole body, his chest beginning to constrict itself. “…but Levi, I totally get it, if you choose not to, I mean… even if we lose Behring’s interest, I think—“

“No,” Levi interrupted. Even though Hange meant well, right now they were talking as his friend, not his manager, because they had witnessed how destroyed Levi had been after that fake number thing and Erwin’s mean words, the man totally ignoring him out of the blue. But deep down Hange knew Levi was in no position to say ‘no’ to such an offer. “You know I have to do it. Otherwise Behring will destroy me,” he thus told them, and Hange sighed. Because, yeah, they knew, had basically claimed this a few days ago themselves without really saying it out loud. Just like Moblit and Erwin had known and the blond had agreed to bottom...

“_Kurwa_…” Hange sighed and it made Levi’s lips twitch into the beginning of a grin; he loved it when Hange cursed in his mother tongue. It sounded just… so funny.

“Yes, _kurwa_, indeed…”

“How are you going to get through this?” Hange wondered out loud.

“I have no fucking idea…”

“…_kurwa_…”

“…indeed…”

Levi tried to focus on his anger, tried to build up that stone cold wall around him that usually was so easily constructed. He went to the gym, nearly destroying that punching bag that helped him to blow off some steam, he took a lot of selfies, feeding his ego with all the positive responses he was receiving from his fans, old and new, proud of how many followers he had gained on each platform. He posted another video of himself playing with his dick, receiving even more wonderful reactions. He cooked a five-course meal for Hange and they got drunk on way too expensive wine, watching the trashiest movies they could find. He went running, paid a visit to the new swim hall, he went biking with Hange, bought himself a new tablet, they went to play laser tag. And…

And he was beginning to feel… okay.

It surprised him, but… 

The stinging pain in his chest had turned into a slightly uncomfortable knot. It was there, and at times he could still feel it, when it pressed into his heart. At other times, he was able to forget about it.

Yes.

Levi was _okay_.

Not happy and euphoric, but he was okay.

He could do this. The shoot with Erwin. 

Somehow…

He’d be _okay_.

He knew that some of his wounds would be ripped open, and that there was nothing he could do to completely prevent this from happening. But he could fix them right after. With a wonderful evening with Hange – the wine was already chilling in the fridge – and a little trip to Poland he had already booked for a few days later for the both of them, and the night life in Gdańsk was rad. They’d have a good time, maybe he’d meet some hot bloke he could have sex with, maybe Hange would get lucky, too. And they’d have lots of alcohol and lovely food, and they’d bathe in the sea and do some sight-seeing.

It was a wonderful perspective. Something to look forward to. 

Levi felt confident.

But then, one day before the shooting with Erwin, one day before having to face and fuck the man again, two things happened.

An unannounced surprise tape filmed by none other than Franz Behring was released. Featuring Mike Zacharias and… _Erwin Smith_. And Levi’s heart almost stopped beating, before it started to really hammer against his rib cage. Not only was Mike topping Erwin… it proved to be the pilot scenario initially planned for _Erwin and Levi_… And… And it…

And it was utterly hot.  
Just as much as it was… _horrific_.

Seeing Erwin being fucked roughly by the man who was even bigger than the blond. Watching them snog and grunt. Watching Erwin being slammed into from behind, from the side, against the door. Seeing that huge thing of a prick disappear in Erwin’s asshole over and over again. Making the man feel… _good_. Making him _come_.

It was…

It was as if…

For Levi it felt as if the last traces of him had been erased by Mike’s cock.

He couldn’t really explain it, once again confused by his own emotions, all different and contrasting and yet filling the same space at the same time, making his blood run cold and his legs shake, his chest hurt… And when he finished the movie and couldn’t stop himself from stalking, he saw that Mike as well as Erwin had both posted sexy pictures of them together, half naked, skin pressed against skin, promoting that tape, getting lots of hyped responses.

_And it hurt. _

And Levi’s newly constructed wall began to crumble.

And then, just a few hours later, when another new article of _Boner Mag_ came out… a part of it _collapsed_.

**“Hot hook up alert: Porn stars Erwin Smith and Mike Zacharias are dating – and it’s your wet dream come true!”**

And the world… it stood still… Because even though Levi understood the words he was reading, he _didn’t_ understand them. At least not for a few seconds in which the cogs of his brain were still turning and he stared at the photo of the short article, depicting Erwin and Mike at some sort of park, sitting on a bench, hugging tightly. The piece of writing itself was short. A source, a good friend of Mike, had confirmed to _Boner Mag_ that the two men had grown extremely close in the past few weeks and that they were now much more than just friends, stating that the shooting had probably deepened their feelings for each other.

…and it…

And it fucking hurt so bad, that Levi’s hands began to tremble and his phone fell onto the floor, and he just stared at it dumfounded, his throat hurting just as much as his chest. And… And it was so hard to hold back the tears, Levi’s mind once again swimming, so many questions ricocheting in his brain.

Had Erwin already been close with Mike when they had been shooting?  
Was this the reason the man had given him a wrong number?  
Why he had said this shit in the interview? To make Levi back off because Erwin had felt his infatuation and was afraid his partner could get angry because he had flirted with his co-star and ignited some sort of hope in the raven?

It made sense, didn’t it?

_DIDN’T IT? _

It didn’t, however, make him feel any better.

Actually, it made him feel worse, made him feel even more like trash. Because this is how Erwin had treated him. _Like garbage_. 

And it hurt.

It hurt so bad, and it made his eyelids burn so much, and the repeated need to cry made Levi so angry, he totally fucking lost it. He exploded, all of his rage flowing out of his body, his jaw clenching, hands forming into fists – and then he stomped into his bedroom, jumping at the walls, tearing down every single poster of that blond motherfucker. 

Levi ripped them all to shreds. 

Every single picture.  
Every single poster.

He got rid of every tiny piece of paper, stuffing them into the bin and taking them outside into the trash, also throwing away that vibrator shaped after Erwin’s dick, vowing to remodel his whole bedroom when he came back from Poland, wishing that he could run away now, right this very moment, cancel the shoot, cancel everything and just flee this mess, cross the border and drown in Easter European happiness not looking back once.

But he couldn’t.

He knew.

He also knew he couldn’t get drunk: he had that fucking shooting tomorrow morning at 10. 

And so he went to the gym instead, working out until he nearly collapsed and his trainer started shouting at him to get fucking stop and go home. He took a long bath at home with some herbal shit Hange had once gifted him and that were supposed to make you fall asleep easier – and when he finally hit the bed, he was so glad he had exhausted himself this much, because he instantly drifted off.

His dreams, however, were not soothing.

For he dreamed of Kuchel once again. But instead of being a lovely mother, she was ignoring him in his dream. He tried talking to her, but whenever he got closer, she turned away, or simply glared at him.

…and it hurt.

So much, that he awoke with tears in his eyes, his head throbbing yet again even though he hadn’t drunk anything.

“Shit…” he cursed again, rubbing his face, only to realize his charging cable had slipped out of his phone leaving it dead, and when he looked up at the clock hanging over his bed, he realized that he had only about five minutes left until Hange’s arrival. “_Kurrrrwa!_” he spat, jumping out of bed and nearly falling down to the floor, already hearing his front door being opened, as Hange owned and always used their spare key.

“Honey! What the fuck, you look like you’d just woken up, we need to go!” they exclaimed as they laid their eyes on Levi.

“I overslept, I’ll just quickly use the shower.”

“No,” Hange protested, “you know Behring likes his darlings to be punctual. You’ll shower there anyway. Come on, let’s go.”

Levi hurried, putting on the first clothes he could find, black tight jeans and a grey t-shirt, sneakers, running down the stairs after Hange, his heart starting to beat faster as the got into the car and the vehicle started moving, his brain only now starting to register that in just a few minutes… he would see Erwin Smith again.

He swallowed dryly, something uncomfortable stirring in his belly, his palms growing sweaty, all the emotions he had successfully suppressed the day before by working out suddenly crashing into his heart, causing utter chaos and uproar. 

He needed to distract himself, play that stupid balloon shooting game on his phone or something. “Hange, you got a charging thing lying about here somewhere?” he asked.

“Um, no, I have a power bank somewhere in the trunk, though. Why? Your battery low?”

“My phone’s _dead_,” Levi replied sighing.

“Oh… Since when? I mean: did you get my message about today?” Hange enquired.

“No?”

“Oh…” Hange made, clearing their throat, stopping the car at a red light and turned towards the raven. “You’re, um, the one _bottoming_ today,” they then stated.

And…

And the world stood still.

For the prospect of one of his most desired dreams coming true… was now a _nightmare_.


	7. Lunar storm, part II

Expect the unexpected. That was Behring’s fucking motto. So why was Levi even surprised the man went back to his original plan now? 

It made sense. People had gone crazy about Erwin bottoming, having actually seen that twice now. For the first time with Levi, then with Mike, Erwin’s _boyfriend_ – who was the complete opposite of the raven; broad, tall, fair-haired with lots of body hair. And now the horny masses of desperate men wanting to jerk off were ready for another round of seeing Erwin’s ass get pounded. They were _convinced_ they’d get a third time. Because what counted for speech and writing, did also count for porn – and basically anything else. If you wanted something stuck in your head, you had to put it in a sequence of three, that was the deal. That was the rule. So that’s exactly what Behring was _not_ going to do, shattering it. Because Behring made his own rules. And his movies would be stuck in the heads of his fans and critics anyways.

“You all right?” Hange asked after Levi still hadn’t said a word and they were parking the car. 

The shoot was to take place in a rented holiday home this time because the honeymoon was over and the newlyweds were supposed to be back in their everyday lives, their private space. This much Behring had disclosed before. …_without_ mentioning he wanted Levi to bottom. And so the raven asked himself what else the old fart had come up with, when he nodded to answer his friend and manager, and both of them got out of the vehicle and started walking towards the main entrance of today’s set.

BDSM? Fisting? Outdoor sex? The house seemed to have a huge garden, at least… Maybe intercourse in the pool? Just like Mike and Eren had done? 

And as the big man – _Erwin’s real life partner_ – repeatedly occupied Levi’s mind, he froze. Because what if… What if Behring, upon hearing those “hot hook up news”, had decided to let Mike Zacharias… _join_ them? What if the director turned this spontaneously into a threesome? Considering the reveal of Erwin’s and Mike’s relationship was super fresh, this would definitely boost the movie’s popularity even more… So… Such a decision would… _It would make sense._

And usually Levi wouldn’t have been put off by the prospect of having to participate in a threesome. But right now… Right now he felt nauseous and his legs almost gave out as he climbed the steps to the big double door of the fairly new, bright home that was supposed to be the love nest of Erwin and him. Only there was no Erwin and Levi. There was only an _Erwin and Mike_. And imagining how he would have to watch the two _boyfriends_ kiss and touch and then have both of them fuck him at the same time – because he knew Behring was a fan of double penetration – made him almost throw up. Levi truly felt the taste of acid on his tongue, in his mouth, and something unpleasant stirred in his belly, as Hange rang the bell. 

The door was opened almost immediately by Donatella who looked like a porn star herself taken right out of the 80s with her backcombed, partly artificial hair, and the tons of colourful make up she was wearing today matching the very revealing bright red dress. “Follow me,” was her greeting – and off she went with her Louboutins making Hange and Levi almost run after her.

“Damn, how can she be so quick in those fucking stilts?” Hange whisper-hissed to Levi.

“They’re called high-heels darling, and any woman or man can master walking in them with the right mind set, the determination to practise and a little bit of talent,” Donatella answered flatly without turning around, and Hange blushed.

“Definitely not _me_…” his manager remarked, not whispering this time.

“I agree,” Donatella said, turning around without stopping to march down the hallway, “though they _would_ look good on you,” Behring’s assistant added, smirking a little, before turning back around – and seeing Hange flustered even managed to paint a little grin onto Levi’s face.

It was wiped off just a few seconds later, as they followed the Louboutins-lady round the corner and entered the spacious living area of the house with a huge five-piece sectional mega couch you’d surely never want to leave again, once you were seated or rather spread out all over it. But this wasn’t what caught Levi’s main attention.

Erwin Smith did.

And when Levi spotted the tall blond man standing next to Behring, Moblit having presumably left already, conversing with the smiling director, dressed in a black t-shirt and white tight jeans this time – his chest started hurting. So much, that he thought he’d faint, all the memories of their first shoot crashing through his mind, instantly obliterated by the hurtful things Erwin had said in the interview about him, and even further destroyed by the knowledge of this man being an item with Mike Zacharias.

But Levi didn’t faint.

Instead, anger started infiltrating his insides, flowing through every vein of his body, infecting every cell. 

Seeing Erwin Smith, with all those thoughts and realisations inside of him, made Levi feel… It made him fucking fuming. 

And even though deep down he knew that this was just a defence mechanism, knew what his heart and body were trying to do, push away the pain and vulnerability by focussing on his rage, he gave in. For being pissed off was definitely better than being sad – Kenny had taught him _that_.

And so Levi concentrated on all the reasons that weren’t supposed to make him hurt, but _angry_.

Levi hated the way Erwin had spoken about him after the way the blond man had treated him during their filming; he hated the man for actually _having_ acted so nicely and caring and interested, when in fact, he had felt none of those things towards Levi. He hated Erwin for having given him that fake number – because couldn’t he have just said no? Couldn’t he have said that he felt uncomfortable sharing it or wasn’t interested in keeping in touch? Maybe he had gone home to Mike afterwards and both of them had laughed about this naïve little porn rookie, so totally enthralled by the big and famous Erwin fucking Smith… It _was_ possible, wasn’t it? 

Or was Erwin angry because Levi had ruined his chance of being deflowered by Mike? _This_ was possible as well, wasn’t it? But focussing his anger in that matter that should be directed at Behring onto Levi… that was just an abomination. It was ridiculous. It was unfair. It was totally unprofessional.

Levi gritted his teeth, and when they came closer and Behring’s attention shifted towards him, Erwin also turned his head, and those fucking blue eyes moved to fixate on the raven-haired – and Levi felt like lashing out and punching this son of a bitch straight in the face then, breaking that very prominent jaw of his.

_…while his chest hurt. _

Because it was a treacherous motherfucker that wasn’t following the bloody plan.

The way Erwin looked at him… 

Levi couldn’t describe it. It definitely wasn’t like any look the man had given him during their first encounter; soft, intense, mesmerising. No. This look… This expression… It was different. It was cold. Like steel. And it didn’t last long. Erwin’s gaze shifted just after a few seconds; and when it did, he crossed his arms in front of his chest – a dismissive gesture. And it made Levi’s throat go tight, and a cold, oh so very cold shiver ran down the whole of his body, making him shudder – while at the same time he felt the need to scoff and mock Erwin. Because this was _also_ anything _but_ professional…

“Right on time!” Behring greeted them, shaking hands with Hange and then with Levi.

And then Levi held his breath, watching how Erwin extended his hand to greet his manager with a firm shake and a short “hello”. His skin was crawling, as he observed the man turning towards him, Levi’s eyes focussed on Erwin’s big hand, that was suddenly right in front of him. And as much as he wanted to click his tongue and tell Erwin he could shove his hand up his own ass, he grasped it, meeting his despicable co-star’s gaze shortly, registering no smile or grin or smirk on the blond man’s face, his expression still hard instead, while they exchanged their quick “hellos”.

And it hurt.

Just as much as it made him even angrier.

Because what the hell had he done to deserve being treated like this?  
Was it really only because he was a creepy stalker-fan guy?  
Then why hadn’t Erwin just told him to turn it down a little? That Levi made him feel uncomfortable? Instead, he had encouraged his behaviour, had he not? Had made him feel that the way he had acted was fine, cute, and anything but bad.

_Fucking bastard. _

Levi’s head had begun spinning once again.

…but at least _Mike_ was nowhere to be seen. Right?

“I was just talking to Erwin what a great success the first part has been and I wanted to thank you in person as well,” Behring started speaking to Levi, who totally focussed his attention on the director, blending Erwin out completely. Or at least trying to do so… Because: Erwin acted cold? Well, Levi had _invented_ acting cold and dismissive, and he’d show that blond shithead just how this dish should be served properly.

Because he’d stick to the plan and focus on his anger, no matter what his fucking heart and chest did.

“Thank you, Franz, for choosing me in the first place,” Levi answered, offering the old man one of his most charming smiles ever that even creeped Hange out a little. He was sure to have seen them flinch slightly out of the corner of his eye. “It turned out truly magnificent,” Levi continued, “and it has helped me a lot already. Over 1000 new followers on each platform, a lot of media coverage and many movie offers. Though, of course, I will always favour _yours_.”

Behring laughed in a contented way. The man loved being buttered-up. Levi knew. “I’m honoured and also very happy for you. And it’s so good to be working with you again so quickly. Levi, you’re bottoming today, you’re okay with this, right?”

“Of course, Franz,” Levi answered, keeping the polite smile on his face, “I have _no problems_ with switching positions,” he added distinctively, hoping that Erwin would get his little verbal jab, hinting at the way Erwin had stormed out of Behring’s office when being given the news of having to bottom the other day. And Levi didn’t care anymore that the blond had been forced and that it had been his first time. He really didn’t care anymore. 

But…

But Erwin didn’t react, he didn’t even flinch. 

And it made Levi angry, while it also hurt a little.

_Focus. _

“That’s wonderful,” Behring answered, “and basically, just like the first time, I have no specific script I want to follow: just do your thing again and I will give you my ideas along the way. You both were so wonderful las time, I cannot wait to see what you do today!” he almost cheered, clapping his hands like an excited kid, which once again showed how passionate Behring was about his creations. Levi really had to give him that. “You can have harder sex this time, if you want,” the director then suddenly suggested, “the honeymoon phase is over, after all,” the old man added smirking – making Levi’s blood run cold. 

And then Erwin made it even worse, by responding, “I’d love that.”

_I’d love that. _

That was exactly what that fucking dickhead had responded to Levi’s pierogi proposition. Those were some of those words that had driven the raven almost crazy over the past days. And actually they still were making him insane, confused. They hurt – just as much as they fuelled his anger. Because why in hell would Erwin _love that_, if he thought so little of Levi and shooting with him? Because this put him in a position of power and he could take “revenge” for Levi topping him? Get rid of some of his own anger? Why the hell had Erwin even _agreed_ to filming the second part, if he couldn’t stand his guts?

…because of the same reasons Levi had.

Damned fucking porn industry, damned fucking pressure.

_I’d love that. _

Erwin even almost _sounded_ like he had during their first shoot; warm, gentle, genuine. When in fact none of it had been true. It had all been just an act. And why the hell was Levi even thinking about his first shooting with the blond again when he had decided to focus on his anger instead?!

Erwin Smith was, once again, screwing with his brain. And Levi hated it.

_Because it hurt. _

“Donatella will take you to a bathroom you can use to prepare yourself, Levi,” Behring told the raven, and Levi nodded, making sure not to look at Erwin, before he first said goodbye to Hange and then followed the clacking sound of the Louboutins out of the room, telling his stupid heart to finally stop aching.

_I’d love that. _

His heart didn’t listen. 

And Levi hated it.

_Because it hurt. _

“The bathroom has a really lovely bathtub,” Donatella was saying as she opened the door leading to their destination on the upper floor; and the woman was right. It was a modern appliance, a freestanding tub placed just under a big window with a marvellous view onto the river. “You can use it, if you like. I’ve brought some bath pearls, they can help you relax,” Donatella pointed out, and it was probably one of those rare occasions one could see her smiling.

“Um, thanks,” he said.

“You have two enema kits, two different kinds of lube, three dildos and an anal vibrator,” the woman than started explaining, tone placid, “if you need anything else, just let me know. Franz says you should take your time, so: do that.”

“I will, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome,” the assistant responded, nodding almost courtly. Then, she left the room, and Levi let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, wondering if he had ever felt so lonely during the preparation for a shoot while staring at the tub that reminded him of his bath with Erwin.

…and man: that hurt.

_Focus. _

Levi took that bath after his enema and after he had stretched his entrance a little with the help of his fingers. The pearls Donatella had talked about really had a positive effect on him, the appealing smell of lavender mixed with the heat of the water making him feel almost dizzy as if he had smoked a little joint. He’d put on music on his phone, closed his eyes and tried to make his mind go blank as he grabbed his own dick and started stroking himself; only it was so hard _not_ to think about Erwin, not only because he was used to thinking of the blond whenever he jerked off, but also because he had just actually seen him again in real life. “Fuck…” he cursed, rolling his eyes and letting go off his cock that hadn’t even managed to grow fully hard, letting out a frustrated sigh while staring at the ceiling. 

He tried again, trying to think about nothing, just focussing on the feeling around his cock like he had done while filming with Porco. Only that led to Levi thinking about Porco, and thinking about _that_ blond, got him back to thinking about _the other_ blond who was merely metres away from him and was supposed to fuck him in just a few moments. “_Kurwa mać! _” Levi cursed as a wave of coldness passed through his body. “Shit!”

Then, Levi grabbed his phone, placed it on a stool next to the tub, and started looking at porn, watching two guys that looked nothing like Erwin make out sloppily. And having something to truly focus on helped. His dick woke up while his mind shut up, or at least those voices reminding him of what had happened, and what was _about_ to happen with Erwin were quieter now. 

Levi started fucking himself with one of the dildos when the protagonists began to fuck hard, adjusting the rhythm of his thrusting hand to the movements of the top’s hips, and he almost rejoiced when he started moaning, as the toy brushed his prostate and he couldn’t deny the arousal storming through his veins, settling in his abdomen.

He would be fine.

Watching a second sequence of two other men fucking, Levi used the other bigger dildos to stretch himself even more and in the end even shoved the waterproof vibrator into his ass, a truly magnificent toy, that made Levi’s body arch and his toes curl; and when he almost came from those sensations, fingers still wrapped tightly around his girth, eyes glued to the little screen of his phone, he almost laughed.

Yes, he would be just fine.

Only… 

He wasn’t.

The moment he entered the master bedroom, his naked body wrapped in a black bathrobe, his new-found confidence left him. It fucked off. Didn’t even bother to say goodbye.

Jimmy waved lazily to him and Levi registered an unknown crew member adjusting the second camera focussed onto the king size bed. Some other dude in his 30s was checking the lighting while another staff member, probably in his 50s, nodding courtly at Levi, went over to Jimmy to talk about something he had obviously written down on his clipboard. And Behring… Behring was standing right next to the bed on which Erwin Smith already waited for Levi, completely naked, leaning against the massive headboard, the duvet barely covering his abdomen, wearing frameless fake glasses that made the blue of his eyes even more intense, or was Levi imagining things? 

Behring spotted him and immediately beckoned Levi over, and when Erwin’s eyes also fixated on him, Levi’s knees buckled, and he cursed himself for that and also for the fact he still found Erwin handsome, despite the man having turned out to be total jerk who should be totally and thoroughly hated by Levi. 

_Fucking bastard. _

Levi ignored Erwin as he stepped closer. His gaze merely brushing over the man’s pectorals, before he shifted it to look at Behring instead. The old man disclosed to him that he had actually _just_ come up with one scene he would like them to engage in. “So, _your husband_ is already in bed, reading, ready to fall asleep after a long day at work, totally exhausted,” he started explaining, pointing to a book resting on the nightstand as well as to Erwin, who was looking up at Levi, “but then _you_ come in,” Behring continued, now pointing at Levi with both of his hands, “and you’re horny as fuck. I want you to _seduce_ Erwin. And that’s the important part: I want you to make it look like you as if you’d top him again. But then Erwin’s going to overpower you – and then push you down and pound you into the mattress. Any way you like. Does that sound good?”

Cold shivers were running down Levi’s back upon hearing Behring’s words and his throat went tight. His jaw clenched and he didn’t know if punching Erwin or punching Behring would have made him feel any better.

“Yeah,” he answered, “sure.”

It was a flat-out lie. One of the biggest he’d told this week. 

Levi had hoped they could skip the fucking foreplay and get this shit over with. That he’d just turn around, let Erwin fuck him from behind, maybe ride that thick dick with his back facing Erwin – both positions in which he didn’t have to _look_ at the guy. And now he had to fucking approach him, talk to him, _seduce_ him and let himself be _overpowered_ by this bastard, whom he was still trying to ignore as much as possible.

“Wonderful!” Behring cheered and then retrieved something from the pockets of his trousers. “Your rings, my married darlings.”

Levi stared at the golden wedding band he was supposed to be wearing and took it wordlessly, and while it had made warmth spread all around his chest the first time it had been slipped onto his finger, now all that he felt was… _pain_.

And anger.

Pain and fucking anger.

And that was a venomous mix. 

“Okay, are we ready to roll?” Behring’s voice echoed through the room, while Levi, out of the corner of his eyes saw how Erwin slipped the ring onto his big finger.

And his chest hurt.

_Focus. _

Affirmatives came from the crew and Behring turned his attention back to Erwin and Levi. “You all right to start?” he enquired.

“I am,” Erwin answered immediately and Levi felt the man’s eyes boring into his – and so he finally looked back; giving Erwin his most feared death glare; and he _swore_ he saw the man flinch slightly, which gave him a little bit of satisfaction at least.

“Of course,” he answered flatly, nodding shortly at Behring. “Where do you want me?”

“Go back to the hallway, we will film you coming into the room. Okay?”

“Sure,” Levi said, turning around on his heels, starting to cross the bedroom, while Behring was giving his crew members the last directions. Donatella, sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room with her tablet on her lap, briefly looked up and gave Levi a faint nod before focussing back on whatever she had been doing on the device. And Levi, leaving the chamber, wondered if the woman, who had probably witnessed a million of pornos being filmed, would even look up _at all_ during this shoot, having already seen almost any lewd thing possible being done right in front of her face. Levi had no idea if porn had actually started to bore her, positioning himself in front of the door, waiting for Behring’s starting signal.

It came quickly. Just when these thoughts had crossed Levi’s mind, he heard the old man shouting “and action!” Rolling his eyes briefly, he pushed down the handle of the door, telling his motherfucking heart to stop beating so fast, his stomach to stop feeling queasy and his hands not to fucking tremble. And when he lay his eyes on Erwin, sitting totally relaxed in “their” bed, pretending to be reading a book – a fucking copy of “Quo Vadis” written by the Polish novelist and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, Henryk Sienkiewicz, long dead… _was Behring fucking kidding him?! _ – all Levi wanted to do was… to fucking run away.

Because all the talking around him had stopped, and everybody was quiet, focussed on him, focussed on Erwin and there was no way _around_ this: Levi would have to interact with Erwin, he would have to talk with him, kiss him, touch him, pretend he was _in love_ with him.

And it fucking hurt.

It hurt so badly, he thought his stupid chest was about to break, and he felt his throat constricting, as if someone had started pushing small needles into it, making his eyes begin to burn and...

_Stop it_, he commanded, reminding every fibre if his body to bloody _kurwa mać_ focus on his anger, act coldly, be a pro, get this shit over with and be done with it and the blond. Go home, get smashed and then fuck off to Poland. That was the fucking plan – and he had to fucking stick to it.

Taking a deep breath, he started walking towards the bed containing the blond motherfucker, while loosening the knot of his bathrobe. And thankfully his anger resurfaced slowly, grew with every step he took forward; for Levi was truly pissed off about today’s scenario, having to be the one prompting Erwin to have sex with him. He fucking hated it. He fucking hated Erwin. And Levi reminded himself of wanting to teach that blond cunt a lesson on how cold he could _really_ be, how jaded he was. He wanted to show the man how _little_ his words meant to him. That he didn’t care about what Erwin had done to him with the fake number, the defiant interview, the silly ignoring on social media, the dismissive behaviour towards the raven today – even if it wasn’t true and all of this _upset_ Levi. But Erwin didn’t have to know.

He wanted him to feel that he meant _nothing_ to him.

And saying this to himself, while he got closer to the bed, actually made it so much easier to access his anger and push the hurting into the background.

He’d done this before, after all. Having sex with someone he disliked. Acting as if he desired a man that actually didn’t turn him on at all, even if according to Erwin Smith he was lacking experience, and thus shouldn’t actually be able to accomplish this, right? Levi knew better. He knew it wasn’t true, that Erwin’s statements were made-up fucking bullshit to make Erwin feel better about himself or whatever, and that he, indeed, was a natural. That he had talent, that he was all business when it came to having sex with no strings attached, with no emotions, when penetration was only a transaction. And that’s what it would be like today – it wouldn’t mean anything. It didn’t matter.

Oh, but it _did_…

“Hey honey…” the sickly sweet words poured out of Levi’s toxic mouth, and when Erwin looked up at him, the raven let the loose bathrobe fall onto the floor, revealing his stark naked, clean and lightly glistening body; and he swore he saw something bordering on surprise touch the surface of the blond man’s eyes for a brief moment, almost making Levi smirk; because what the hell had the bastard been expecting? For Levi to act all shy and hurt because of what that son of a bitch had done to him? Had the dickhead thought he could make Levi act unprofessional, not follow direction because he was so distraught because of all of that shit? Well, he was fucking wrong – and it helped the plan. It helped Levi even more to focus on his anger, his defiance. “What are you reading?” he continued seductively, crawling onto the bed, and Erwin, now focussing again on his role, his expression neutral, looked back at the book he was so _not_ reading.

“I’m actually just about to go to bed,” the man responded, tone dark.

“But you’re already _in_ bed, baby…” Levi murmured, crawling further towards that big and warm body that still fascinated him, for which he hated himself, but that also made his skin crawl in a very unpleasant way.

Erwin chuckled, and that sound was a stabbing to Levi’s feelings, his chest; because it was so warm and it sounded just like the chuckling he had heard on their first shoot when he’d thought they were having a very nice, private conversation and that Erwin actually _liked_ him…

_Focus! _

“I meant I’m going to _sleep_, silly…” Erwin responded, not looking up from the book at Levi, whose chest had started to constrict again, the closer he got, now only centimetres away from the blond, his hand reaching out to touch the naked skin of the man who had occupied his dreams for more than a decade.

And it hurt.

But he had to push through, calling on every fibre of his body to proceed, shivering uncomfortably, but acting with determination. In the next second, he grabbed the stupid historic novel and literally ripped it out of Erwin’s hands, making surprise flash once more across Erwin’s eyes.

_There you fucking go, you prick_, thought Levi, not stopping the devilish smirk creeping onto his face.

Then, Erwin’s mask returned, and he scoffed lightly, as Levi’s alleged husband. “Darling,” he murmured, reaching out his hand to take the book back, “return that to me. I want to finish the chapter before I go to sleep.”

But Levi didn’t comply and instead moved the book out of Erwin’s reach. Holding it in his hand, focussing on Erwin’s sapphires that shifted to reciprocate his gaze, Levi, smirking smugly, responded in a dark and slightly taunting tone: “I bet you don’t even _understand_ one fucking thing of that book… _precious_.” And with this, Levi flung the “Quo Vadis” copy across the room, making it hit the wall with a loud thud, causing Erwin to flinch slightly and a mix of, yet again, surprise and slight fear appear in those fucking blue eyes – and this reaction spurred Levi on even more. Without thinking, he grabbed Erwin’s stupid fake glasses next, sliding them off his ears and nose – and then he _squashed_ them in his hand; the sound of the crushing plastic making the blond man wince, and those horrifically beautiful blue eyes widen.

“You don’t need those for _fucking_…” Levi breathed, and was slightly astounded himself by how dark and psychotic he sounded, while at the same time his voice had something extremely _erotic_ about it. And Behring’s quietly, yet enthusiastically whispered “…oh, fuck…!” confirmed this and prompted Levi to continue down this path, grabbing the duvet and tearing it off the blond hunk’s body as well as off the bed in one swift and aggressive motion, revealing Erwin’s thick dick between his equally thick thighs. 

Next, he straddled the blond, who seemed to be so confused that he couldn’t respond to what was going on neither verbally nor physically, and Levi grabbed his wrists, keeping them to either side of Erwin’s body, as to prevent him from using his arms to push his younger co-star off, and lunged forward, biting into Erwin’s throat – roughly, without any mercy and with only one intention: to hurt in the guise of wanting to make him feel good.

“Ow!” Erwin shouted out, his whole body jerking and Levi grinned, sucking hard at the skin caught between his teeth, making sure to leave an enormous, visible bruise that only a turtleneck sweater would be able to hide – which was unlikely to be worn now, during the summer period – almost snickering at the thought that Erwin would have to look at it for the remainder of the week, being reminded of whose evil little mouth had left the stain on his flawless skin every single time; that _Mike_ would have to bear it on his lover’s body, hopefully making the huge bastard think of the fact that it was Levi who had topped his boyfriend first, anytime his eyes settled on the anti-lovebite. 

Levi continued to hold Erwin’s wrists captive and bit into the junction of his shoulder and neck. A little bit more gentle this time, yet still definitely causing pain, Erwin’s body flinching one more time, a strained hiss escaping his lips. And Erwin tried to break free, his arms pushing to the side in an attempt to slide his wrists out of Levi’s grasp. But the raven didn’t budge. Instead, he applied more pressure, his fingers digging into Erwin’s skin mercilessly.

And causing pain and discomfort for Erwin Smith felt… _fantastic_.

Levi gave in. Biting his way down Erwin’s chest and his abdomen while holding his arms in place, making that big body of the giant idiot jerk and squirm, sounds of light distress flow from those poisonous lips. And he scared Erwin. For when Levi’s mouth, tongue and teeth were near his cock now, still more flaccid then awoken, he felt the rest of the blond man’s body stiffen. “…you’re not gonna go all vampire on my cock, are you, _darling_?” Erwin asked his fake spouse, voice trembling slightly, and two things happened to Levi in this moment.

For one, he felt his own sickening pain resurface, for the term ‘vampire’ reminded him of Erwin’s posting from out of the bathroom during their first shoot, when he had shown off all the little bite and kiss marks Levi had left on his body; calling the raven _cute_… For two, it made him grin mischievously, because he felt compelled to scare Erwin a little more, and maybe he would do just that; go ‘all vampire’ on that motherfucker’s cock. Bite down a little, causing just a little bit amount of pain without causing any essential _injuries_. That bastard deserved to be in emotional distress. He deserved to feel pain. And Levi deserved to be the one delivering it, didn’t he?

“Baby, I’d _never_ hurt you…” he purred, but it wasn’t a soft or tender sound. Rather, it was one that caused the little hairs at the back of your neck to stand erect, sensing danger in the guise of loveliness. And before Erwin could react, Levi stuck his tongue out, touching the man’s big balls, and started to lick his way up, raising his head as well as his gaze as his wet muscle glided over the hardening, salty shaft – but when their eyes locked, and Levi took in Erwin’s face, he nearly stopped.

Those fucking blue eyes were widened, Erwin’s mouth slightly parted, and his facial expression wasn’t hard or extremely fearful. Rather, it was… It was… Erwin’s expression was one of sadness… Wasn’t it?

And when this fact started to sink into Levi’s brain, his whole body reacted, the anger and rage dissipating along with tension that had gotten hold over Levi’s limbs, leaving room for his own unhappiness, making his grip on Erwin loosen; _and that was a mistake_. Because that was when Erwin, once again, _attacked him_, pulling his arms out of Levi’s practically non-existent grasp, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him forcefully off his body and onto his back. 

Following instinct, a gush of adrenaline shooting through his body, Levi immediately tried to get back up, rolling onto his side – but Erwin practically squashed him, mounting him, pushing the whole of his weight down on Levi, turning the game completely around, capturing the younger man’s wrists and pushing them into the mattress just above his head.

And Levi’s treacherous fucking heart started pounding mercilessly in his chest, spreading the hurt and pain into every god damned part of his body. The heat of Erwin’s naked skin pressed against his own conjuring up too many memories of their first shoot. The man’s sex pushing against his own, evoking conflicting emotions in his stinging chest, his abdomen. Those icy blue eyes boring into his orbs, an artic sea during a storm, making Levi’s throat go tight; and he stilled, knowing that there was no way to escape this position, to escape Erwin, because the man was too strong. And furthermore: this is what was supposed to happen. This is what Behring had instructed Erwin to do: to overpower Levi. And Levi knew what was to follow.

Erwin would fuck him.

And he had to endure this.

_Kurwa_, he cursed on the inside as he suddenly felt this distinct lump forming on his throat, his face tingling and constricting in this very special way, and the beginning of tears starting to well in his eyes.

_Focus, focus, focus! _

“It’s very naughty of you to be interrupting my reading time like that…” Erwin breathed out his scolding, a dark rumble of pure seduction, that would have normally caused Levi to moan already; yet this time it only evoked dread, the man’s face coming closer to his, their lips almost touching. The raven swallowed, reminding himself of his acting job.

_Be professional. Don’t let him get to you. Be angry. _

“Well, it’s very naughty of _you_ to be ignoring your conjugal duty…” he rasped, lips quivering slightly while speaking.

Erwin raised a brow, his lips forming a smug grin. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make you feel good.” And now Levi was truly sure that Erwin’s look of sadness had just been an act. Everything that man did was an act. It was all a big fat lie. Erwin was fake.

_Focus! _

“Then let me go and spread your legs for me, _honey_…” Levi breathed against the blond man’s lips, that murmured a very dark “no” in response – and he had _not_ expected Erwin to kiss him in this moment. But that motherfucker did. Pushing his plump and pliant lips against Levi’s, forcing him to open his mouth almost instantly, invading his cavity with his tongue like he owned it.

…and while it had felt like the happiest day of his life when Erwin had kissed him like that in that elevator of the penthouse, today it felt like the most horrific moment of his life. 

_Because it hurt. _

It hurt so much to be kissing the man whom you were so in love with, knowing he saw you as a piece of trash, knowing he was with someone else, knowing he had only toyed with you.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

The lump in his throat was growing as Erwin’s tongue danced around his and the man started grinding against him and Levi’s body, suddenly detached from his emotions, started responding, his dick reacting to the friction, beginning to grow hard, while tears were still knocking at his door, starting to gather in his eyes.

_Kurwa. Kurwa. Kurwa. _

Levi had to be strong.

Swallowing the lump, he forced himself to grind back, telling himself repeatedly to just focus on his body, the carnal desire within him, the delivered touches – it would all feel good. And it didn’t matter who’s hands and dick were causing this. He’d done this before! Closing his eyes, letting himself be fucked, pretending he was having the best sex of his life and bringing himself to orgasm at the end. He’s been through this. 

…but then why did it feel so bad? 

Why did it feel as if this was the first time he was forced to sleep with someone not to his liking? 

_Why did it hurt so much? _

Suddenly, Erwin let go of his wrists and the weight of his body left Levi’s chest, making the raven automatically open his eyes. 

Erwin was kneeling between his spread legs, and before Levi could say or do anything, the man’s big hands grabbed his thighs and pushed his legs further apart as well as upwards, towards Levi’s face, so forcefully and so far, the raven’s knees were almost touching his shoulders, practically bending him in half, exposing his butthole in an obscene way, spreading it wide open; and the look on Erwin’s face, it was… It was… It was a mixture of anger, lust and coldness; and it pierced Levi’s heart like the sharp sting of a deadly scorpion. And then Erwin pierced _him_, moving his hips forwards, pressing his bulbous cockhead through the loosened and thoroughly lubricated ring of muscle, and a broken sound left Levi’s mouth, when the blond didn’t stop, but continued to insert his length, until he was fully buried inside Levi’s hole, Levi’s sphincter fighting a losing battle to push Erwin’s cock out, his walls clenching around it, pain shooting through his veins – and Levi instantly screamed at himself on the inside to fucking relax, squeezing his eyes shut, his fingers digging into the bedding.

He knew he was stretched enough to take a big cock, it was all in his head. 

_Relax. Relax. Relax. _

His breath hiccupped, as Erwin leaned forward, the man’s lips locking themselves onto his throat, making his body push his girth even further into Levi’s canal, feeling extremely big as it plowed inside of his guts, brushing his prostate, making an unwanted moan escape the raven’s throat, not able to escape the deep penetration, not able to flee Erwin’s warm lips, his tongue and his teeth taking revenge; for the blond bit into Levi’s throat just as ruthlessly as Levi had bitten into his, his canines breaking the first layer of thin skin, making the raven release a deep outcry of pain. “Fuck!” he cursed through clenched teeth, once again squeezing his eyes shut as Erwin started to lick the spot he had just injured, making weird shivers run down Levi’s neck and spine.

It was an unknown mixture of feelings dwelling in his hurting chest. They contained a little bit of everything: the natural arousal Erwin’s fondling with his body was causing, anger that he had been so desperately trying to bring into focus, and sadness he had been feeling since reading the interview.

Sucking a bruise onto Levi’s throat, Erwin’s hands slid between the raven’s back and mattress, gliding up his spine, until his fingers wound around both of his shoulders. Then the man pushed his forehead against Levi’s throat, the heat emanating from his face almost unbearable, as was this awkward tension between them, and when his fingers dug into Levi’s skin further, he knew what was about to happen; Erwin was about to thrust into him.

And Levi was right.

Moving his hips, the man slid his fat cock out of Levi’s asshole, making the raven shudder as the round hard tip glided over his prostate, arousal shortly brushing the surface of his weird emotional cocktail, immediately drowned again by dread, as he felt the cockhead pull out of his muscle ring, spreading it – and without any hesitation, Erwin immediately pushed back in, grunting against Levi’s skin, his hot breath nearly searing Levi’s collarbone, the raven experiencing another strange mixture of sensations; lust mingling with pain and a hint of melancholy followed by a pinch of frustration. 

He didn’t know what to do, how to calm himself down, how to truly focus only on the carnal part, how to push the physical as well as mental pain into the background, moving his hand between their bodies to touch his dick, to at least try to make this easier. It helped. A tiny bit at least, amplifying the arousal minimally, as Erwin started building up a slow rhythm, sliding his thick girth almost completely out of the raven, to push it right back in, circling his hips, rubbing the rigid shaft over Levi’s prostate, sending sparks of desire into every part of his body, while the movement also increased the pain, despite Levi pumping his own dick, and it made his heart ache with every single thrust Erwin made, the pace as well as the force of the blond man’s hips increasing. 

Until Erwin was truly _fucking_ into him. His dick slamming into the raven’s hole in a rhythm that could be described as maniacal, desperate, frenzied, Erwin’s fingers clawing into Levi’s shoulders, his forehead pushing forcefully against his collarbone now, the man’s deep groans making Levi’s ears ring, pathetic high-pitched sounds of surprise, lust and agony leaving his own mouth, his own digits fisting into the bedding, the others stroking his own sex, his head spinning – until the _world_ was suddenly spinning. 

For Erwin, grunting like a fucking bear, slid out of him, grabbed Levi’s waist, fingernails cutting deep into the flesh, making Levi hiss, and then he flipped his body easily around, one of his big hands landing on Levi’s lower back, pushing him firmly with his chest and stomach into the mattress; a clear signal of ‘stay this way’. And Levi was way too horrified, too stunned, too hurt to protest, feeling Erwin move between his legs spreading them further, pushing one of the pillows underneath Levi’s pelvis next, lifting his ass up further into the air; then, Erwin spread his ass cheeks with both of his hands, the tip of his wet cock pressing back into his hole just a second later, breaching his ring of muscles, breaking through his sphincter one more time, pushing back in until Erwin was once again buried to the hilt.

Steadying both of his hands on either side of Levi’s body, hovering over him, Erwin started thrusting into the raven-haired, quickly picking up his pace from before, shoving his dick in and out Levi’s hole in this rear entry position, his big balls slapping against the skin between his co-star’s entrance and sex, every thrust becoming faster and harder, making Levi gasp and whimper and press his face further into the bedding. And then that fucking bastard suddenly slowed down – but only to intensify all it, by wrapping his arms around Levi’s upper body, bending his own forward, his hairy chest pushing against Levi’s back, as he practically lied down on top of him, squeezing their warm and moist bodies together, Erwin’s lips pressing wet kisses onto Levi’s nape, while he started circling his hips, making his thick dick stir Levi’s guts, push against his walls, his prostate, and…

And…

And when Erwin suddenly moved his obnoxious mouth to his ear and started licking his shell and his dick pushed against Levi’s sweet spot particularly hard…

It…

It was…

_It was just too much. _

It was too fucking much.

And not in a good way. Not in a sexual way.

Because Levi realized that his plan had failed. That had been doomed to failed from the very beginning. That it had been futile.

For he _wasn’t_ able to concentrate on his anger, the sadness he felt being much, much bigger, overwhelming, taking up the majority of his emotional capacity. He was furious and pissed off, yeah. But the most prominent feelings were those of humiliation, disappointment and raw pain. Because he had truly felt a connection with Erwin like he had never felt with anyone before. And being betrayed like this… It robbed him of everything. Of every little spark of happiness he had started to feel. He had opened up to Erwin on that day in the penthouse, never having had such flirty and easy-going conversations with any other of his co-stars. And then Erwin had just tossed him away like a dirty tissue full of cool cum. 

Levi’s heart had been broken. _He_ was broken. And the moment he realised this, all of today’s resolves went flying out the bloody window right into the broad river to fucking drown and be carried into the sea. That’s the moment Levi tensed up, in which his body clenched painfully around Erwin’s cock and suddenly _nothing_ felt good even more, not even the pressure onto his prostate or the friction the sheets were causing onto his cock. 

There was only pain, physical as well as emotional. And even though Levi wanted to fight it, he couldn’t, all the energy drained out of his body, his will gone, and everything inside of him just…

It…

It burst.

Like a fucking bubble.

_Popp_ – and it was gone.

And what left his mouth, uncontrolled, was a sob, shaking his shoulders, his breast hurting like hell, as did his throat, as if he had swallowed something wrapped in barbed wire, and the tears that Levi could not hold back anymore began to spill down his cheeks, feeling stinging hot on his skin – and Erwin… Erwin froze in the middle of his movement; which made everything so much worse, because it meant he had definitely heard him. And Levi tried so hard to push everything back, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up, humiliation taking over his body; he bit his tongue, his hands forming fists, he squeezed his eyes shut, repeating to himself that he should shut up, like mantra. And he was so sure he was successful, that he had cut down on what was happening to his body, that he had put an end to his sudden, emotional outbreak.

But he was wrong.

“…Levi?” Erwin whispered right into his ear, sounding… so soft and gentle, sounding worried and concerned; and it went, no, it _shot_ right into Levi’s heart, because this is the way he desired Erwin to speak with him. But knowing it was just an illusion made everything hurt so much more, and whatever weapon he thought he’d had in his hand to war with himself, was tossed away, and another pitiful sob crept up his hurting throat; he couldn’t stop it from spilling out of his mouth, his body trembling, another portion of tears running out of his eyes and down his face, soaking into the sheets. “…fuck…” Erwin breathed, tone serious and kind of shocked, sliding out of Levi, the sudden movement making the raven whimper in pain – and more tears roll down his cheeks, his heart pounding ferociously in his chest, panic spreading into all of his veins, making him shiver, as Erwin hissed at Behring to “fucking turn off the cameras” repeating his command even louder and more aggressive as the director obviously didn’t react immediately.

“O-o-kay, cut! Everybody _cut_!” Behring’s confused and concerned voice filled the room, and Levi pressed both of his hands tightly over his mouth that was twisted in a woeful grimace to stop the sobbing noises from escaping, his eyes now widely spread, panic having infiltrated every cell of his body, his ears ringing, his whole form trembling, his whole being in a state of shock.

…because he had just started crying in the middle of sex during a porno shoot. During Behring’s shoot. 

_Shit. Kurwa. Fuck! _

And for a second it seemed that this realisation would help him sober up, push away the pain just for a little while – but then Erwin’s big hand was placed onto his shoulder, the man, kneeling next to him now, leaning forward, his face to close to Levi’s making their eyes meet automatically, and Erwin’s sapphires… they were almost as wide as Levi’s, full of shock and concern, his rosy lips parted, and the way that blond jerk whispered his name…

“…_Levi_…”

So fragile.

“…fuck, have you I hurt you?”

So caring.

“…talk to me…”

Almost broken.

And Levi snapped. Because he knew that this… That this was fake. That Erwin was fake. That none of his gentleness meant something.

_And it hurt. _

“Fuck off, Erwin!” Levi spat out. But his voice didn’t sound hard and intimating like he had intended in to come out. Instead, it was weak and hoarse, and he sniffled uncontrollably, and when he blinked it caused even more tears to brim over his lids and trickle down his face, and before he knew what was going on, he was already jumping up, mumbling a way too quick “I’m so sorry, I need a minute” to Behring, without looking at the man, picking up his discarded bathrobe from the floor and running out of the room, up the stairs and into the chamber right next to the bathroom where Donatella had told him he could place his things in; and when he slammed the door behind him and sank down into one of the arm chairs facing the windows overlooking the river, he completely broke down – a deep sob that actually hurt when he let it out, filling the room, and more tears running down his face.

“Fuck!” he cursed, pulling at his own hair out of his frustration. “_Kurwa mać! Shit!_”

He needed to calm down. But… But it just hurt so much. It hurt so fucking much he had no idea how in the world he was to endure this. He had no idea how he could go back there, face the people who’ve seen him crying, face Erwin again, sleep with the man, kiss him, act as if this was his loving husband.

“Fuck…!” he panted, pressing his lips together, staring onto the carpeted floor. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…!”

A knock at the door startled him.

He nearly panicked again.

Damn, he thought, this was definitely Behring. Or Donatella. The director loved sending her around to deal with his stars as well as bullshit. And this definitely was bullshit. And he had to sort it out immediately. 

He wiped his eyes with the sleeved of the bathrobe. “Just a minute…!” he shouted, his voice still broken and weak and utterly pathetic. He sniffled, biting his tongue, telling himself in whispers that he should calm the fuck down, wiping at his eyes a little bit more before shouting at whoever was standing at the door to come in, standing up and turning around to face… _Erwin._

Because it wasn’t the director and it also wasn’t his assistant who entered the room.

It was _Erwin_. Dressed in a similar black bathrobe.

The man closed the door quietly behind himself and looked back into Levi’s wide eyes, still wearing that look of concern on his face that… hurt so much, and that made Levi angry at the same time.

“Are you hurt, Levi?” the man asked softly, making the raven’s chest hurt even more. “Do you need me to call a doctor?”

“_Fuck. Off. Erwin._” Levi spat, his hands morphing into fists, his whole body trembling. Because how could this bastard even dare to follow him here, act so nicely again, as if he _cared. _

But the motherfucking blond didn’t listen. “What happened in there, Levi?” he asked instead, his tone still so freaking gentle it was making Levi’s skin crawl.

“_You_ happened!” Levi snapped, sniffling again, hating himself that he couldn’t stop some more tears from flowing out of his eyes. “_You_!” he hissed, trying to sound as mean and venomous as possible; but his voice so hoarse from crying, it just made the whole thing ridiculous.

“…so I _did_ hurt you…” Erwin mumbled, and that look of sympathy mixed with regret on his face… had he practiced this for hours in front of the mirror? “Are you bleeding?” the bond kept enquiring, coming closer. “Why didn’t you tell me to slow down, to stop?”

“I’m fine down there, you fucking prick!” Levi scoffed, despite being quite sore, automatically walking backwards as Erwin was coming nearer, his legs meeting the armchair, stopping him.

“Then wh-what… what the hell happened, Levi? Why are you crying?”

“Stop acting as if you’d fucking care, Erwin!” Levi now screamed, his body jerking, pushing the armchair a bit across the floor. “Just… stop! Fuck off! You’ve done enough, go and humiliate someone else, we’re done!”

“…humiliate?” Erwin picked up, brows rising – and Levi, he… He had enough. He was so done with this shit. He was so done with Erwin Smith. 

This is when everything inside of Levi crumbled.

“You dumb piece of shit!” he yelled, taking a menacing step forward, making Erwin flinch. “What kind of sadistic narcissist are you?! Acting as if we had chemistry going on the whole fucking day at the penthouse, making me compliments while you were actually playing me like a fucking instrument…” he scoffed. “Make that dumb rookie fan believe he’s cute, huh? Make him butter you up the whole fucking day and then toss him away like trash. You know: that fake number thing, that’s what fucking teenage girls do—“

“Whoa…!“

Levi didn’t let Erwin interrupt. Talking time was over for this piece of rotting garbage. “…you could have just told me you can’t stand me, _and_ my behaviour ‘bordering on creepy’…!” Levi recited a passage, one of Erwin’s statement from said article. “It would have hurt, but I would have understood and accepted it, if you didn’t want me to contact you in private. Instead, you got my hopes up, and you fucking made a game out of this. Probably you and your boyfriend have been laughing your asses off this whole fucking time, huh? Look at this dumb kid, thinking Erwin Smith is interested in him. Actually…” Levi made a small pause, calling on every fibre of his body to force his lips into a cruel smile. “I kind of feel sorry for Mike. Maybe he doesn’t see it yet, but he will one day: what kind of egocentric, selfish bastard you are. And then he’ll fucking run. But then again: maybe he’s a dick, too, just like you. What a fucking pair of ridiculous, old men you tow are…”

He glared at Erwin and Erwin…

Erwin looked like a scared dog, not knowing what or who he was facing, unable to decide what to do next; eyes wide, mouth opened, body frozen in place. Probably because no one had ever dared to insult the man, tell him what kind of bastard he was, make him face the brutal truth about his own damned fucking self and—

“F-fake number? What the hell are you talking about?” he suddenly countered. “Boyfriend? Mike? Are you talking about yesterday’s _Boner Mag_ news?”

“Fuck off, Erwin, you know _exactly_ what I’m talking about!” Levi hissed, angry that the guy was daring to fake innocence now. “This fucking conversation is over. Now get the fuck out of this room and leave me alone, or I swear to god, I will break your fucking dick _and_ your jaw!”

Erwin blinked. But the man didn’t move. And then, just as Levi opened his mouth to throw some more obscenities and threats at the blond, the man snapped. “I’m not going fucking _anywhere_ until you fucking tell me what the hell is going on, because I have no fucking clue, and because you obviously have been misinformed about a thing or two, you stupid gothic Barbie doll!” Levi almost choked on his own spit when Erwin’s stern voice reached him and the man took a step towards him. “I’m not laughing about you or any other person behind their back, especially not with my _boyfriend_, as I don’t _have_ one,” he said, tone dark. “Obviously you have been dumb enough to believe a stupid rumour, based on one stupid, innocent picture and statement of an alleged friend that was Mike’s hair-dresser who knows shit about him, us.” Levi’s heart started beating loudly in his chest. This information was… like a little stab. Making him feel _a little_ dumb indeed, but that was not the main point and… “And obviously you didn’t see the correction on the website as well as Mike’s and mine posting about it this morning; we both denied it the minute we spotted that piece of fake news. Just to clarify _one_ of your accusations. As for tossing you away like trash… how dare you say something like that to me, when _you_ were the one making _me_ believe you truly had more than just a _star crush_ on me, and then it turns out that you were only using me for gaining more fame, more followers, more filming propositions?”

“…wh-what…?!” Levi stammered, his heart suddenly beating in his throat. What the…?!

“I wasn’t the one _playing you like an instrument_, Levi,” Erwin clarified, sounding… extremely pissed off. “I was _genuinely_ interested in you. And the way you acted towards me, the things you did, and the things you said to me, the way you _looked_ at me – I was so sure you’d contact me the minute you get home, or the day after. But… But then you ghosted me. _You_ played _me_, Levi.”

“I, I… I did _what_?!” Levi’s skin was tingling and his hands were turning sweaty.

“You ghosted me, you didn’t text, you didn’t call, you didn’t tag me in a posting, you ignored me. Do you know how upset—“

“YOU GAVE A WRONG PHONE NUMBER, YOU MORON!” it broke out of the raven uncontrollably.

Erwin stopped talking and his brows furrowed. “I most certainly did not.”

And Levi was confused as fuck.

Because…

Because what Erwin was saying couldn’t be true.

The man was playing him once again, wasn’t he? But why? Why was Erwin lying? Why couldn’t this piece of trash stop lying? Why was he saying all of that stuff? Why was he pulling open Levi’s wounds, sticking his salty fingers inside and stirring them inside his hurting flesh?

Did he enjoy to see the raven suffer so much…?

“Shut up, you stupid piece of shit!” Levi hissed, now almost jumping at Erwin’s throat; though he had to admit that he was in this high state of uproar because his treacherous heart had, once again, decided, to stab him in the back; still beating viciously, still causing soft voices of hope to whisper into Levi’s ears, repeating the words just uttered by the blond.

_I was genuinely interested in you. _

No. Fuck. What the hell. What was Levi doing? He’d fallen for this once. He wouldn’t be fooled twice! Erwin was fake. The man was toying with him. Just like he had done during the shoot. Acting all nice while truly despising him.

_Focus. _

“Stop lying, Erwin! Do you have any idea what you have already done to me?! How much you fucking hurt me?! Do you know how hard it is for me to open up to someone? And then you flirt with me the whole shoot and get me out of my shell, and… I actually thought there was a chance you really _liked_ me, Erwin, even if only as a _friend_, and then you bastard give me a wrong phone number… do you know how fucking ridiculous I felt when I texted you and a complete stranger answered me? And then just a fucking day later you say all this crap about me to a magazine. Don’t tell me now that you were genuinely interested in me. If you were, you wouldn’t have said all of that shit that could even damage my career. You wouldn’t have started to ignore me on social media. You wouldn’t have acted so cold. And you wouldn’t have given me the wrong number in the first place. So: _Stop. Lying_. You’ve hurt me enough! Go and look for another victim, if hurting people gets you off like that.”

A very intense shiver rolled down the whole of Levi’s body when Erwin responded. In a way Levi did now expect. Almost crashing against the raven as he closed the last remaining distance between them, nostrils flaring when rage took over his face, the massive brows furrowing, eyes turning into dangerous slits. “I don’t like hurting people, and I didn’t give you a _wrong_ phone number! _You_ just never called or texted me. I waited. I fucking waited, Levi! And you ghosted me. Fuck, how many times do you want me to repeat myself. Are you even listening to me?! Did you hear a word of what I have just told you?!”

Erwin’s words knocked the wind out of Levi, and whatever he had been planning to spit into Erwin’s face next was forgotten as the faint voices of hope inside of him were getting louder, and even though he told them to shut up, it didn’t work, and Levi was confused as ever when dealing with Erwin fucking Smith.

“What?!” he spat and Erwin rolled his eyes.

“For the love of god,” he groaned, his body so close to Levi’s they were almost touching. Looking deep into Levi’s eyes he vehemently repeated through clenched teeth: “I didn’t give you a wrong phone number.”

“So what?” Levi finally managed to counter, scoffing, folding his arms across his chest, glaring at the blond, his tears drying on his skin, making it itch. “_Sophia_ is your alter ego, then? Or your sister whom you share your phone with?”

“Sophia?” Erwin enquired sharply and sounded confused. Which made Levi even angrier. 

“How many times do you want me to repeat myself Erwin? Stop lying.”

“I’m not… Fucking hell, I’m not lying!” the man insisted groaning, waving his arms around almost as fiercely as Hange did when they were agitated. And Levi tried so hard to focus on his wrath, on his rage, on his sorrow, his defence… But the voices inside of his mind and heart were still so loud, asking Levi: _What if Erwin was really telling the truth? _

“Then why did _Sophia_ answer me instead of you when I texted that number?” Levi countered in a dark voice, arms still folded tightly in across his chest, weight shifting to his right hip, chin lifting up, going full into his prevocational stance that made Hange nervous when they were arguing about something, his eyes narrowing into slits, oozing anger from every pore – also, because he wanted to block out those pitiful voices inside of him, clinging tightly onto this pathetic hopefulness. 

“Show me your phone,” Erwin suddenly demanded. 

“_What? _”

And then Erwin’s facial expressions hardened. “I said: Show me your phone,” he repeated his request in a much sterner tone.

“And why the hell would I do that?”

“So that I can verify that you have a wrong number saved on it and that you really tried to text me.”

“So you don’t fucking believe me?” Levi snorted, shaking his head.

And that’s… And that’s when Erwin raised his voice again. And it was fucking intimidating. “_You’re_ the one calling _me_ a liar all this time!” he bellowed, his eyes dark and face still hard, making Levi shiver in an unpleasant way and take a half-step back in surprise at Erwin practically charging at him like that, once more pushing against the armchair. “And I’m telling you the truth, once and for all: I _didn’t_ give you a _wrong_ number! So show me your fucking phone and I’ll prove it to you.”

…and the voices inside of the raven started merging into a louder choir, a mass of melodies, a sing-song that sounded almost like a prayer: _Please let Erwin be telling the truth_.

“Fine!” Levi hissed through clenched teeth, stomping over to his bag, fishing out his mobile device and practically shoving it into Erwin’s big hand. “There you fucking go, _Sophia_,” he added, “but it’s dead and I don’t have a charger…”

“There’s one right there on the dresser, idiot,” Erwin muttered, stalking over to the said piece of furniture connecting Levi’s phone and switching it on. “…you’ll need to unlock it for me…” he added a little bit calmer but still grim, and Levi clicked his tongue, stomping over to the blond, following his request, hating the way their warm hands touched when he grabbed the device.

“There…” he mumbled, having activated the screen and pulled up the messages with Sophia, and then slumped down on the armchair to the far left, continuing to stare at Erwin, asking himself what the _kurwa_ fuck was going on here, trying to ignore those voices inside of his head, and Erwin…

Erwin looked at the screen and… And he froze. His eyes widening and his whole form simply not moving. Except for his thumb which the man obviously used for scrolling through the message history – and Levi’s heart was beating in his throat. _And he hated it. _

He hated the fact he was still longing for Erwin. That after knowing the man wasn’t with Mike he actually felt _relief_. That he was indeed truly hoping that… That the man was really telling the truth. That Erwin’s flirting on set hadn’t been just an act. That the blond had told the truth about developing a crush on him, finding him cute, wanting Levi to cook for him and—

“Shit,” Erwin murmured, stopping Levi’s pathetic trail of thoughts. Then, the man put the phone onto the dresser and slowly walked towards Levi, sitting down on the other armchair. He raised his gaze after a while of remaining completely still, eyes locking with Levi’s – and the raven’s breathing was agitated and his skin was tingling. “The last digits have been switched,” Erwin suddenly announced, voice calm, but frail, the energy of his previous verbal attacks completely lacking. Levi watched the man swallow, his own pulse quickening yet again. “It should be 79, not 97…” he explained, and Levi enjoyed the way Erwin looked at him – _ashamed, regretful, and upset_. And the voices inside of Levi’s head asked in a hushed but oh so giddy whisper: _So maybe he really IS tellingthe truth? _ “You sure your transferred it correctly from the piece of paper I gave you?” Erwin enquired.

Levi scoffed. “I took a picture of it, take a look at it yourself in the gallery, twat,” he hissed, clicking his tongue.

Erwin did, standing up and walking back to the device. Levi watched him swiping his thumb across the flat screen repeatedly. And there it was again: that look of astonishment on the blond man’s face, making Levi’s heart race.

A few seconds passed in silence. Then, Erwin broke it, with a long and loud groan of agony. “…shit…” he muttered afterwards, “I’m _such_ a fucking _idiot_…!” he groaned. “Oh god… I’m such a… moron… I _am_ a piece of shit, fuck,” he continued to curse himself, letting himself fall back into the armchair, both legs spread a little bit, elbows resting on them, his face buried in both of his hands. He groaned again; it came out as a deep sound of despair, making the hairs on the back of Levi’s neck stand. “Fuck… I really _did_ give you a wrong number and you really _did_ try to contact me…”

“Yep… I-I d-did…” Levi stammered, starting to play with the fabric belt of his bathrobe because he was so fucking nervous, and utterly confused, two sides fighting in his heart. One telling him to send Erwin to hell and not believe a single word that blue-eyed snake told him. The other trying to convince him to listen to the man, give him a chance of explaining everything, because obviously… this had been a matter of miscommunication.

Right?

It had to be.

RIGHT?

Levi startled as Erwin suddenly turned back towards him, looking him deep into the eyes. And then, finally, came those words Levi had thought he would never get to hear from Erwin. “I am… I am so sorry, Levi,” he said. “I was convinced I had given you my right number, I haven’t changed it for… wow, a decade, I guess. I never get it wrong. _Never_…”

“…so… what are you trying to say?” Levi prompted after Erwin’s voice had trailed off and the man remained silent once again, suddenly staring out onto the river, the voices of hope slowly dying down again within the raven. “That you were too nervous on that day or what?” he enquired scoffing, making Erwin turn his head back to face him, smiling lightly and apologetically.

“That, too…” he said, sighing, “but… I think the main reason was that I was stressed out. Remember when I went back inside to ask Moblit if… if it was all right for me to stay behind with you? I really wanted to, by the way, I… um… I was hoping you’d ask me out on a date when we had some more alone time, in case you were, um… wondering…” When Erwin uttered those words, the voices inside of Levi were given new power and started their encouraging whispering again; but the raven wasn’t ready to listen to them at that moment. 

“So wh-what happened…?” he pressed, sounding way to tense, and only then he realised that he was pulling at the belt extremely fiercely, running the risk of damaging the fabric; because he was just so fucking nervous.

Erwin sighed and folded his hands, staring at them, smiling somewhat… coldly. “I had a few missed calls from the hospital… my mother had been rushed to the emergency room,” he then dropped the bombshell.

“Oh fuck!” Levi gasped, and Erwin just smiled sadly. “God, is she… is she all right?”

The man sighed and then looked back at Levi. “Yeah, I mean… She’s alive, but… not good and, well, let’s just say: it’s not looking good. There’s a lot of damage…”

“Oh holy fuck, I’m… I’m so sorry, shit, I’m…” Levi felt like scum. Because… Because Erwin wouldn’t lie about his mother’s condition, would he now? And if this was true, and he had a feeling it was – Erwin’s reactions, they… they were just so real – then… Then he _should_ feel like scum. Because this piece of new surely was a reason to be distracted, a reason to make… mistakes.

…right?

“Don’t worry about it,” Erwin suddenly said, in a more serious tone, “it’s… It’s always been complicated with my mother and me and it may sound cruel, but I am not really… _sad_ about it, and I knew it was coming…”

“…cancer?” Levi heard himself whisper a question.

Erwin shook his head. “No… I, um, I don’t talk usually about this, but because I want to explain to you what happened on the day of our shooting, why I have made that mistake, I will share this with you. I know you are able to keep a secret, I mean… even after everything that has happened, or you _thought_ that has happened, you didn’t let it slip that… that you were the first guy to _ever_ top me… Not only in front of the camera, but, _ever_…”

“Y-you knew that I knew?!” it escaped Levi’s mouth.

_Kurwa, what? _

Erwin nodded, still smiling lightly. “I mean, not from the beginning, but… I figured it out pretty quickly and… And I was so grateful you chose to treat me… in this very loving way. You… Your compassion and kindness kind of overwhelmed me that day and… I guess these were the final things that made me crush on you this hard. And that’s why I was so confused why… why you didn’t contact me. That’s why I was so upset.”

…

What. The. _Kurwa._ Fuck.

?!

Levi had no idea what to say, the voices now a choir again, singing praises and making Levi’s ears burn.

Erwin obviously wasn’t expecting Levi to respond to this, continuing with his explanation. “My dad died when I was ten, I guess you know that because I have spoken about this a couple of times,” he said, and Levi nodded. It was true. He knew. “After that my mum became distant, blaming me for my father’s death, because my dad had worked his ass off for his family, wanting to provide his son with a bright future. So much that he had a heart attack – that’s how he died. My mum turned to alcohol after this pretty quickly – and she’s been drinking ever since. She’s an alcoholic. And her liver is… completely fucked up. Well, I moved out when I was 16 because I couldn’t stand to see her this druk and have her attack me, throwing china and books and shit at me, and… basically I have never really been in touch with her ever since. But… When you receive the news that your _mother_ is in a very bad condition and you know that she’s gonna kick the bucket soon, it _does_ something to you, even if you have no deep connection.”

“Fuck, it does…” the words poured out of Levi’s mouth uncontrolled, and Erwin smiled again in this melancholic way that made his face look fairly beautiful and made you want to…

“Thinking about her possible death made me realise how much I actually still miss my father. She is the last remaining link to him, sort of. And once she will be gone, I will have nothing on this world left connecting me to him. At least, it feels this way. So… I guess what I’m trying to say is: When that call came in, I was… in a state of shock. I didn’t know how to deal with the situation, and probably that’s why my brain malfunctioned and… I made a mistake when writing down my number. But not on purpose. I was upset and couldn’t think straight. And I’m so sorry about that! Because… I really felt that we had a strong chemistry going on. One that… that I haven’t felt…Well, I guess I have never felt it this strongly with another man… I just can’t explain it. I felt drawn to you before, when I watched your videos and saw your pics and shit, but… But when I met you and we hit if off, it was like, I don’t know: it was like ten times stronger…”

Levi felt another lump forming in his throat. He knew exactly what Erwin was talking about. But… “…if you felt this way… then why did you say such mean stuff about in the interview?” it poured out of his mouth, so many conflicting emotions raging in his chest that he had no idea how to describe this emotional concoction. He felt sorry for Erwin. And, even though he told himself he should know better, the raven was even inclined to believe him. But some of his anger was still residing in his heart, for some of the things he still did not get…

Erwin groaned again, burying his face in both of his large hands repeatedly, elbows still resting on his spread thighs, sighing, and just remaining like that for a few seconds. “Because I’m scum,” he then mumbled into his palms, yet still audible for Levi. The man sat back up and looked at his co-star. And Erwin… He… He truly looked sad. And… regretful once more. 

Didn’t he?

Or…

“I’m so sorry,” Erwin said once again. “I… I’m despicable. I didn’t mean _anything_ of what I said, even if you don’t believe me now, and hell: I wouldn’t fucking blame you after this whole thing…” He shook his head, hand raking nervously through his hair. “God, I’m such an idiot…” he muttered, and Levi swallowed.

“…why _did_ you say those things then?” he repeated his question to which he desperately needed an answer. 

Erwin looked back at him. “Because I was an angry bitch?” Erwin supplied, lips pulling into the faintest, saddest grin ever, making something stir in Levi’s chest. Something painful, yet dipped into a certain kind of warmth.

“An angry bitch?” he picked up, encouraging Erwin to elaborate. No. _Forcing_ the man to finally explain.

Erwin sighed, averting his gaze, staring down onto the floor. “I already told you: the thing with my mother confused me and opened up old wounds, and I was hoping you’d text me so that I could focus on you, instead of grief. But when that didn’t happen – I kind of lost it. Because, as I said, I was convinced _you_ were the one who had just _used me_ to push your career. You know, making me compliments and making me believe you had a crush on me so that the movie would turn out great, because I’d be really into doing it with you, which it did, and I was, but, um, that’s not the point right now. The point is: I was upset, Levi. I was upset because I thought you had lied to me, that _you_ had played _me_; asking for my number and then ignoring me. And mixed with the news about my mom… I acted like a stupid child. I said those things because I wanted to _hurt_ you, because _I_ was hurting because of you. And also… because I did want to damage your reputation and it’s the most despicable thing anyone could do, and I will not even ask for your forgiveness… God, I am so, so fucking stupid…” he groaned, and Levi… Levi had no idea what to think, what to feel, what to say… “Why didn’t you actually DM me?” he heard Erwin asking. “I mean, if you knew you had the wrong number, why didn’t you ask me about it via Twitter or Instagram or whatever? Didn’t it occur to you that it could have been just a mistake?”

Now Levi was the one sighing. “…I was actually going to write to you via Twitter,” he then confessed, “but then I saw the article with all those hurtful things you said about me… and, well… You know the rest.”

“…oh fuck… fuck!” Erwin groaned burying his face in his hands one more time.

Levi cleared his throat.

“I, um… I actually have to ask you the same. I mean: If you are telling the truth, and you like or liked me… why didn’t _you_ just DM _me_? Or ask Moblit to get my number from Hange, if you didn’t feel like using social media for contact?”

“…because my pride always stands in my way and I am, just as I said before, a stupid bitch…” Erwin deadpanned, sighing loudly.

“…wh-what does that even fucking mean?” Levi enquired, shivers running down his spine as those blue eyes focussed back on him.

“I think I liked being wooed,” Erwin confessed, sounding somewhat bitter… and ashamed. “I… I am used to people just _giving_ me what I want, always making the first step. I just need to hint at something and people like Moblit and Behring jump up to give me just that. I think I wanted you to make the first step, but you didn’t: at least I _thought_ you didn’t… and when I don’t get what I want—“

“You turn into a nasty diva…” Levi finished, remembering their first newlyweds shooting and the phrase Moblit had used after Erwin had stormed out of Behring’s office having been told he needed to bottom that day.

“Yeah…” Erwin agreed, smiling grimly. “A nasty diva and a stupid bitch. I’m so sorry,” he emphasised repeatedly.

Levi scoffed, everything Erwin had just told him occupying his mind, his mental processors operating on full stretch, the cogs of his brain turning and squeaking, his heart pumping hot blood into every part of his body. 

There were so many emotions…!

Relief.  
Giddiness.  
Gladness.  
Surprise.  
Shock.  
Pain.  
Sadness.  
Anger.  
Frustration.  
Anxiety.

They both had been suffering because of the same things.

Because they both had, more or less, accused the other of the same things.

Because they both had not been brave enough.

If Levi would have sent that private message on the same day he had texted Erwin, the man would have instantly gotten in touch with him and would have never given that stupid interview, right? And if Erwin had just contacted him via Twitter or gotten to know his number via their managers, it would have been the same positive results.

If Erwin was telling the truth…

“…so you also started ignoring me on social media because you were angry?” Levi enquired, his mind still sorting the new information.

“Yes,” said Erwin and blushed. “I know, it’s… childish.”

Levi sighed, some of his anger resurfacing. “It is more than immature, Erwin. And so is that whole interview fiasco. Fuck! You can’t go around telling reporters shit that can damage your colleague’s careers, just because of an allegedly unrequited crush. That’s fucked up!”

Erwin was pressing both of his lips together, his mouth forming a thin and tense line. “I… I know… and I’m… I’m really sorry.”

“You should be, you fucking prick…” Levi scolded, clicking his tongue.

And then silence suddenly engulfed them.

Until Erwin broke it with his fucking stammering. “…I…I t-totally understand if… if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore and I would probably even understand if you told me now that you don’t believe a word of what I’ve just said, after all the shit I blurted out in that interview and how I acted towards you today, and also because I can totally relate to your way of thinking and would have probably come to the same conclusions if I were you…” He stopped himself midway with a deep sigh, burying his handsome face in both of his palms yet again, remaining still for a few seconds, “I’m so ashamed of myself,” he whispered. Yet it was loud enough for Levi to hear.

…and that sentence, uttered with so much audible pain, Erwin’s voice so weak and frail – it broke something inside of Levi; a huge wall crumbling into pieces, revealing the way it had been blocking, those hopeful voices shouting out praises of beautiful dreams now filling the whole space and blocking out any sound of doubt. 

For Levi couldn’t stop himself from giving in. He _wanted_ to believe Erwin. But… But he didn’t know how. Levi had no idea what to do. And taking into account Erwin was obviously never the one to take the first step, Levi would have to give the man a push.

“What do you want now, Erwin?” he thus flat out asked him, mustering up all his courage, looking the man straight in the eye and drowning all of his blubbering nervousness, because he didn’t want to fuck this up. “From me,” he specified.

He watched the man swallow, his gaze shifting shortly to the raven’s lips, then focussing back on his grey eyes. And then… And then Erwin fucking Smith finally _said_ it: 

“I want _you_.”

Levi swallowed hard.

“…for what? Sex? Conversation? As a friend?” he pressed, his insides boiling by now, but with all that had happened and some of his rage still remaining in his system, successfully fighting his fluttering nerves, he managed to stay calm, or at least make it seem that way; because he just wanted to know exactly what Erwin felt and what the man desired from him, he wanted to know where they stood. He was fed up with his panicky thoughts, interpretations of Erwin’s words and the man’s doing. He wanted straight answers. He wanted the truth. He wanted—

“I want to spend time with you,” Erwin started, sounding eager, his voice as clear as a calm lake in summer time, “I want to talk to you, watch a movie with you, I want… I can’t stop thinking about your mother’s special pierogi,” he confessed, laughing shyly; and that… And that made Levi smile, while he felt pleasant shivers running down his neck and spine. It… It touched him… But he couldn’t get rid of the dread that had seemed to seeped deep into his bones. “…and I can’t stop picturing you in the kitchen making them for me… God, this is so embarrassing,” he added, scratching his neck and averting his gaze for a while and… 

He was blushing again. And it was adorable.

But…

“Um…” Erwin mumbled, “so… I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that… I want to go out with you.”

“…on a date?” 

Erwin grinned kind of clumsily at that. “…that, um, too…” he replied, “but… what I actually mean is… I want _you_ to be my boyfriend… not _Mike_, even if I don’t know you that well yet. But… I think can get to know you, and you can get to know _me_ better… in a relationship…” a few seconds passed in which neither of them said anything, in which both of the men just looked at each other, in which all the voices inside of Levi’s mind and heart were just screaming and his skin was tingling as if someone was tickling him with a giant feather. 

And everything inside of Levi shattered.

Because…

Even though this was what he had been dreaming of basically all of his live and what he had been waiting for… he couldn’t, he just _couldn’t_ say yes. 

…because the stinging at his heart was still too painful. And there was too much doubt. Too much fear. Too much dread…

“And if I say no, will you run back to _Boner Mag_ to tell them how unprofessional I was on set today, sharing gossip about me crying, without telling the journalists the real reason behind it?” he spat out what he was thinking and a cold shiver ran down his spine. “Or if I say yes, and we have our first fight, what will you do then? Block me on Twitter? Share a secret of mine with the media to get back at me? Dude, how can I trust you when I know you act like a spoiled child when things don’t go your way? Because you’re too proud?”

The look on Erwin’s face… It was… It was painful.

A mixture of surprise, anger and sadness. 

“I… I wouldn’t do that… It was just—“

“I know you were upset because of your mother, I get it. I absolutely do. Those things fuck with your head, yes. But in the end that’s nothing but a lame excuse for acting out of order. And what you did was just that: out of order. How… How can I trust you after this?”

Erwin pressed his lips back together, staring onto the floor.

…just like a child that had just been reprimanded for the very first time.

Levi sighed. 

And it hurt.

It hurt so fucking much.

Because… He was really inclined to believe every word Erwin had just told him. He was. He believed Erwin. He really did. The problem now _was_ the truth.

“You really hurt me, Erwin.”

“You hurt me, too,” the man complained mumbling.

“I _didn’t_ talk shit about _you_. I’m not that kind of asshole. _You are_…”

The man kept silent. _And it fucking hurt_.

Levi sighed, his chest feeling heavy, another lump in his throat starting to form. And then he got up. 

His eyes focussing on the beautiful river outside, he said to Erwin: “I’m leaving. Find a reason to cancel the shoot. This shit should be on you.” Erwin remained silent. “And if you really mean what you have just told me… You’re gonna have to find a way to overcome your pride and convince me that I can trust you. I have wasted too much time on assholes that didn’t really want me. I’m not gonna do that again. I have a crush on you, Erwin, yes. More than just a celebrity thing. But… Right now… That’s just not enough, not after what happened,” he finished – and it was so fucking hard to hold back his tears resurfacing, when he walked over to the dresser without looking at Erwin, texting Hange to not ask questions but to come get him ASAP, to which his manager answered immediately, telling him they’d be here in ten minutes.

And Erwin…

Erwin didn’t say anything. He stood up and left the room without saying a single word to Levi.

And it fucking broke his heart all over again.

Because… What the actual fuck?

WHAT THE KURWA FUCK?

What—

Some more tears trickled down Levi’s cheek. This time formed by anger. Because Erwin had just acted as if… As if they hadn’t actually _talked_. And Levi started wondering if… If Erwin would do something stupid again. Because the man didn’t get what he wanted, did he? He wanted to go out with Levi and Levi had declined. So now what? Would he tell Behring shit? Would he blame the filming abort on the raven? Would he destroy this career? Had Levi been played again?

“Behring didn’t say anything,” Hange repeated for probably the tenth time when they were downing the very last droplets of the bottle of Chardonnay in Levi’s bedroom, “so stop driving yourself crazy. And stop staring at your phone. If Erwin talks shit about you again, we will talk shit about _him_ – this time you won’t convince me otherwise. And I will help you to write the shittiest shit of all shits about him, I swear to the holy Dionysus!” 

Levi laughed lightly, releasing another deep sigh afterwards.

“Need another hug?” his manager enquired.

“I need more alcohol…”

“Coming right up…”

Levi had not witnessed Erwin speaking with Behring. He had just fled the set without saying goodbye to anyone, and Hange had received an e-mail from the director informing them politely that the shoot was rescheduled and would take place in three weeks. Three weeks… He wondered how he’d feel by then. About Erwin. Wondered, if the man would get in touch with him.

…and his mind kept going back to the question if Erwin would truly talk shit about him to the queer press once again…

He dreaded it.

That’s why he got totally hammered with Hange that night, watching strange Bollywood movies, trying to imitate the joyful and totally over the top dancing moves to the Hindi music, ending with Hange and him tumbling down to the floor, laughing like crazy. They finished four bottles of wine that evening, two litres each, even downing two shots of Polish wodka at the end; and Levi had no idea how he actually ended up in bed, how he had even managed to undress, put on some pyjama pants. 

He woke up to Hange’s extremely loud snoring, realising his manager hadn’t gone home, but to his bed instead… stark naked. “Fucking shit!” he cursed sitting up – regretting this movement immediately, because it felt as if someone was hammering against his skull from the inside with a heavy tool. “Oh, _kurwa_…!”

“….hnnghhhhhh…?” came the inhuman enquiry from his red-haired friend.

“Put some clothes on you, freak,” Levi screeched, making himself get out of bed and into the bathroom, taking a way too hot and way too long shower after swallowing a mega dose of aspirin, cursing himself for drinking so much in the evening, trying not to look at the gigantic bruise on his throat Erwin had left there. 

He found Hange still resting in his bed, reading something on their tablet, dressed in one of his t-shirts, revealing some of their belly, and one of his boxer briefs and he rolled his eyes. “You need some aspirin, too?” he asked them, and Hange raised their head to look up at him, their eyes somewhat wide.

“Um,” they started to mumble, looking back down onto their tablet. “Levi…” they said his name and there was something in his manager’s voice that was making the raven feel on edge.

“…what?” he asked cautiously.

“…Erwin posted a… He posted very long statement. And… And I think you should read it.”

Everything inside of Levi froze when he heard Hange’s voice, his mind putting together the most nasty things the blond could have possibly written about him.

“Is it…” he started, but his voice failed and he needed to clear his throat before he finished his enquiry, “is it… Is it _really_ bad?”

Hange didn’t answer at first, and Levi couldn’t move. Then, his friend slowly raised their head and… and smiled at Levi. “Just read it,” they told him gently, holding out the tablet for Levi to grab, who hesitated in the first few seconds. “Levi… you _have_ to read it,” Hange emphasized.

Sighing, Levi gave in, plopping down right next to Hange on the mattress. “Fucking fine,” he hissed – because who was he even trying to kid? Of course he would read it. He had to. He had to find out what that bastard had done _now_.

“I’m gonna make tea,” Hange announced, leaving Levi alone in the bedroom to read the very long statement that had been posted on all of Erwin’s social media accounts allowing to upload chunks of texts. And what he read…

What Levi read, it..

It…

It made his chest constrict.

In a fairly different way.

And when Hange returned with two mugs of freshly brewed tea in their hand, Levi was almost trembling.

But this time the origin was not pain – but joy.

Because what Erwin had written was not nasty. It was beautiful. Because Erwin had flushed his pride right down the fucking toilet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear, wonderful readers! I am totally enthralled by all your comments and feedback via Twitter and private messages, your art (!) and discussions about my fic. You make my day - every day! And I have started to finally respond to your comments, I am really trying to get back to all of you, please be patient and be SURE I am reading EVERYTHING you leave for me to read (multiple times!)
> 
> I have especially enjoyed all your theories on what the (kurwa) fuck was going on. And the award of almost nailig it goes to ShadowGale96 :D Damned, you nearly got it all right. And probably you, and all the others thinking along those lines, went "I KNEW YET!" while reading this chapter. I hope you had fun anyway :)
> 
> Miscommunication or misunderstandings are very often the main reasons for emotional distress....
> 
> About the art I mentioned:
> 
> FlyBehemoth drew that cute little balcony scene from chapter 4:  
https://twitter.com/FlyBehemoth/status/1175981525864607744?s=20
> 
> Saurynn drew the heart breaking scene of Levi reading the shit Erwin said about him:  
https://twitter.com/saurynn/status/1178723106044690432?s=20
> 
> Check out all of their creative work!
> 
> And also follow ME on Twitter, if you aren't already doing it: I love to discuss bulshit, eruri, keep you updated on my work and just generally share beautiful art created by beautiful people.   
https://twitter.com/SummoningIsis
> 
> Thank you guys so much!
> 
> I need another beer, phew.
> 
> Cheers!


	8. Into the orbit

“…how many times have you read it?” asked Hange, sipping on their fourth mug of tea and typing something on their phone, still too hung over to leave for their home.

“I don’t know,” Levi replied, starting to read Erwin’s posting yet again – and if he had been truthful, he would have told his friend and manager that this was the eighth time he was reading what the blond porn star had written, and that he was still smitten by the words the man had used, that he was overwhelmed, totally enticed, and that his broken heart was beginning to be put back together again.

_‘Dear all,_

_I know this might not be the posting you expected from me and I understand that you might be upset that I am choosing not to upload a dick pic today. To be honest with you: You won’t get to see my cock for quite a while. But don’t panic: This is not a notice of resignation. I am not quitting porn – but I am taking some time off, considering filming and using social media to some extent. The reason is simple: I fucked up. And because of that I have to undertake some self-exploration. To do this, I have cancelled all but one shooting for the time being. Also, I need and want to apologize to a lot of people._

_I need to say sorry one more time to my dear friend and one of my most favourite directors Franz Behring and the whole team of W.D. productions for aborting yesterday’s filming. Franz, thank you for being so understanding and rescheduling the shoot. You are not only a creator of magnificent movies, but also a very kind person and a true professional. I owe you big time, and I will deliver anything you ask of me the next time you watch me from behind your camera. Thank you for still wanting to work with me. It means a lot. Without you I wouldn’t be where I am today. I will never forget that._

_I also need to say sorry to your colleagues Alfred Dehn, Kevin Klimber and Christoph Rüdke. I thank you for all your very kind movie offers and I apologize for cancelling or declining them because of the reasons I am going to disclose further just now. I respect your work and turning you down has nothing to do with me not wanting to be working with you – I truly hope I will get the chance to perform in your movies once I have figured out my current private situation._

_Which brings me to the person I need to apologize the most to: Levi Ackerman.’ _

Reading his name in the special post made Levi’s heart race each time. Erwin had also tagged him, and that fact also made Levi’s pulse quicken. As did Erwin’s choice of words.

_‘I have been an admirer of your work for quite some time, and I was totally excited to be working with you thanks to Franz Behring’s wonderful vision and offer. During our work on the first beautiful part of “Mr. and Mr. Smith” I finally got to meet you personally, and something happened: I fell for you. Hard.’ _

Even though Levi had already read those lines so many times, he still couldn’t contain his happiness and excitement they were causing, repeating them to himself over and over again; that Erwin fucking Smith had _fallen_ for him. And Levi couldn’t decide whether this was his favourite part or the following.

_‘You proved to be so much more than just a very attractive guy with exceptional sexual skills. You proved to be funny, cute, kind, compassionate and understanding – and I cannot thank you enough for being so caring during filming after you found out that I would be bottoming for the very first time in my life. You took my anal virginity, and I meant what I implied on set: I am glad I lost it to you – and I would give it to you again anytime, if I could.’ _

“It _is_ a bit of a PR-manoeuvre, though, isn’t it?” Levi wondered out loud, having re-read Erwin’s virginal confession. “I mean, people are going crazy and re-watching our movie because they see it in a different light now – knowing that it was truly Erwin’s _first time_, you know…”

Hange sighed, smiling lightly. “I wouldn’t call this a PR-manoeuvre. I’d say it’s a nice _side effect_ of Erwin telling the truth. Because I really don’t think he wrote it with the _purpose_ of gaining attention and promoting your movie. And neither do you.”

“…you’re right: I don’t,” Levi said – and it was the truth. That’s why he was also smiling and feeling that pleasant warmth in his chest.

‘We really hit it off on set. But due to a big misunderstanding that is totally my fault I began to think you had only pretended to like me. Which is not the case as I know now. While I didn’t know this, I accused you of only using me to gain fame in my stupid head, and because of this I did something very unprofessional: I acted like a spoiled child being denied dessert. I acted out. And I want everybody to know that everything I said about shooting with Levi Ackerman to Conny Springer from Boner Mag on 4th August was a lie.’ 

Erwin had linked the article here, and it felt so good to be reading this. Having Erwin confess to yet another thing out in public. It was… It was huge. It was raw. It was intense. And Levi felt yet another shiver creep down his spine as he continued reading.

_‘Levi, I already told you in private, but I want to say it here as well, so that everybody understands what I have done: I wanted to get back at you by talking shit about you to the media, I wanted to hurt you. I jeopardized your career only because I thought you had played me, and I am so sorry and ashamed because of that. I admire you for not having retaliated. Instead of talking me down – and spilling my secret about never having bottomed before in my life, and how I acted like a diva during our shoot as I was not pleased by the news of having you top me in the beginning – you praised me and our collaboration in each interview that you have given. You are ten times the professional that I am supposed to be and I sincerely apologize for having discredited you like that. Also, I want to apologize to Boner Mag for having used the magazine for my despicable purposes.’ _

If Levi had to be honest: When he had started reading Erwin’s statement, he had not expected the man to disclose so much. He had not expected Erwin to come clean this way, lay all the important cards out on the table. That’s probably why he was feeling so giddy. Levi was… He was impressed. And he was happy.

_‘I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me, Levi, and I also hope you will give me a chance. I understand that after what I have done you have no reason to trust me. But I will try to become a better man. One that will not let you down in the future. And I know that this all might sound overdramatic, and some people won’t get it, and that’s okay. Maybe you won’t get it either, Levi. I am confused myself. After all, I have basically only just met you – but while working with you that day in the penthouse I felt such a strong connection between us that I was totally overwhelmed by it. I can’t explain it, but I feel drawn to you and I have no problem confessing this. Because this is the first thing I am working on for you: I am trying to overcome my stupid macho pride. So here it is: I like you, Levi and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things, even if I had been right and you weren’t interested in me.’ _

“I like the fact he didn’t write anything about his mother,” Hange suddenly remarked, finishing their tea, “I mean: If he had done that, he’d just be hiding behind it again, using her hospitalization as an excuse for having acted out. But with not mentioning it, he’s taking full responsibility for what happened, well, for what he has done. And that’s kind of what you wanted, isn’t it? I mean, you told him, rightfully so, that using his mum’s condition for his behaviour was just an excuse for acting out of order, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So I guess Erwin really took your words to heart.”

“What are you trying to say here, Hange? You suddenly an Erwin-fan?”

Levi’s manager smirked. “He has earned _some_ plus points…”

“…yeah…” Levi agreed, looking back at the end of statement he was beginning to know off by heart.

_‘I cannot stress enough how ashamed and appalled I am by my own behaviour. It shows me that I need to reconsider some things about myself and my life choices – this is why I will be taking a break from filming porn. As I said: It won’t be forever, but I really need time to think about what kind of person I have become and what kind of person I actually want to be. I hope all of you out there can forgive me. Yours, Erwin.’ _

Levi let out a long sigh and put the tablet down, staring at the wall, his chest yet again full of so many different emotions.

“…you’re gonna read it again, aren’t you?” Hange teased after a while, and when their eyes met, Levi couldn’t contain a broad smile stretching across his face.

“Yep,” he confirmed and Hange chuckled.

“You are such a dork.”

“Yep.”

Just as Levi was about to start re-reading Erwin’s statement, Hange spoke up again. “So…” they suddenly started, a little bit more serious than before, fumbling with their empty mug, “…you gonna forgive him now and go out with him, or… what?”

Levi stilled. Then, he put the tablet down onto the mattress and sighed. “A part of me wants to do just that…”

“…but?”

“…well, the other part says: it’s a start. But it’s way too early to forgive and forget…”

“Yeah,” Hange said, nodding, “it’s a _big_ start, that statement is really… something, as well as the decision to take a break.”

“Yeah…”

“But I am glad you are not jumping into this right now,” Levi’s friend continued, “I mean: Erwin really needs to prove himself to you. Confessing to what he has done in public is the first, _very_ big and brave step, I gotta give him that, I have not expected this – but he needs to show you that those aren’t just promises. He has to fulfil them, right? …aaand you should definitely make him suffer a little bit to get back at him for talking shit.”

“I… I don’t want to make him _suffer_, Hange…”

“Okay, okay, my bad,” his friend instantly agreed, waving their hand, “maybe that’s not the best term. You should take your time, I guess that is what I really wanted to say. See if he will still be willing to work on himself for you in a few weeks, right? Like: Erwin has to really _mean_ it.”

Another sigh left Levi’s mouth. “Yeah, something like that.”

The truth was: It was so hard for Levi not to instantly run to Erwin, pardon him, and become his boyfriend. Because, fuck, this is what the blond wanted, this is what Erwin had said to him.

_‘I want_ you _to be my boyfriend… not_ Mike…’  
And what Levi felt for Erwin, even if they had only just met, as the blond had emphasized himself: it was more than just a star crush. He, too, had felt a strong connection between them, as if they had known each other way longer. But…  
But his heart was still in pieces.  
They were bigger now as some of them had been glued back together by Erwin’s words, his apologies, his confessions. But it wasn’t completely healed yet. “What do I do now?” he asked out loudly, sighing.  
“…even though I really believe you should take your time and see how things develop with Erwin on the long run, I also believe you should somehow respond, let him know you’ve read it.”

“…yeah…”

“I mean, you do have his correct phone number now, right?”

“Yeah…” Levi answered, taking the tablet into his hand again, scanning all the comments posted underneath Erwin’s statement.

A lot of people were liking it, telling Erwin they respected his decision and they were praising him for coming clean about having behaved like a dick. Some even found Erwin cute and said they were rooting for him and Levi. Others just posted sleeping emoticons, the typical trolls that probably hadn’t even read the man’s statement, writing shit like “boooooring” or “stop writing and show me your dick” of “you’re a porn star, stop behaving like a fucking celebrity, no one cares about your personal life, so get those pants down and fuck”, making Levi roll his eyes and scroll past those lines. Then, he realized that some people had even left comments on _his_ profile, telling Levi to please forgive Erwin, go out with him and make lots of hot porn together; and that actually made Levi grin a little. Because… They’d do that. At least the porn. In three weeks…

Thinking about yesterday’s shooting, however, made his stomach clench slightly. Because even if Erwin’s dick had somehow felt good, it had been horrible nonetheless, and he cringed when he thought about the way he’d started to cry in the middle of sex, when everything had just become too much. And he was sore and…

The media had picked up on Erwin’s statement already, _Boner Mag_ being the first to cover the story, saying they forgave Erwin, of course, making a big thing out of the man having been deflowered by Levi in their first movie while also pointing out how huge it was that Erwin Smith had “openly confessed his feelings for Levi Ackerman” – and that made Levi totally blush. The journalist who had written the story claimed he had tried contacting Erwin and Levi to get an update on their (possible) relationship but that both of their managers had told him that neither of them would comment on a matter that had been addressed publicly but that from now on should remain private for unforeseeable time, asking the media kindly to refrain from any more enquiries. It’s then that Levi checked his private messages, and sure enough: a few bloggers, journalists and some other users had written him just after the posting via this channel, even more probably using his business mail address Hange was managing. And Hange had taken care of all of it.

“Thanks, Hange, for dealing with _Boner Mag_ and shit,” Levi told his friend, who merely smiled lightly.

“That’s my job, man.”

“Yeah. Still: thank you.”

“Of course,” Hange answered and then yawned. “I think I will try to drive home,” they then announced, “if it is okay for me to leave you…?”

“Sure, I’m fine. Thank you for staying with me in the first place.”

“Sure, pumpkin,” Hange snorted, making Levi roll his eyes.

“I think I prefer shorty, to be honest…” he mumbled and Hange snickered.

“I’ll remind you of that.”

And when the manager had left and Levi had downed at least a litre of mineral water and another aspirin, he sprawled himself across his couch and read Erwin’s statement again. And then, when it was already evening, he finally liked it – and erased the mistake in Erwin’s contact info, switching the last numbers into the correct order and texted Erwin; and not Sophia.

_‘Hey, I saw your statement on Twitter. It made me very happy. Thank you. Levi.’ _

The three dots indicating that Erwin was typing appeared almost instantly, and Levi sat up, suddenly nervous; because he hadn’t anticipated to be actually communicating with Erwin more than just sending him that first message about having acknowledged what the man had written. 

_‘Hey Levi, thank you so much for texting. I owed you a public apology. I’m sorry about yesterday, too. Are you really okay? Physically? I should have realized you were not okay with sleeping with me. Are you sure you aren’t hurt? Erwin, definitely NOT Sophia.’ _

Erwin’s last words made Levi chuckle lightly. Actually, the whole message managed to paint a smile onto the raven’s face. And he answered Erwin immediately. _ ‘Hey Not-Sophia, I am fine, a little bit sore, but apart from that I am absolutely healthy down there, don’t worry about it.’ _

Once more, Erwin started responding right away, and Levi rolled his eyes because he was still so nervous about texting with the blond, it was downright pathetic. _‘I am so glad to hear this,’ Erwin wrote, ‘and I am also sorry for just having walked out of the room like that. My head was so full and I was already concentrating on finding a way to tell Behring to cancel the shoot.’ _

This excuse, Levi found, he could live with. _‘It’s okay. Your statement destroyed any kind of frustration I felt about that. What did you tell Behring anyway?’ _

_‘The truth,’_ came the instant reply, ‘because I think I have lied enough.’

‘You are probably right about that.’

_‘Again: I am so sorry…’_

_‘I believe you.’ _

_‘That makes me very happy.’ _

And then… And then their conversation seemed to be over. Because Levi didn’t know what to say. But he realised that he didn’t want to end the communication just yet, starting to sweat and go through his mental catalogue of possible things to write, coming up with just one thing that wasn’t too emotional and wasn’t going into the direction of: Actually, I want to forgive you right now, make you get your ass here and fuck you the whole night.

_‘I’m going on holiday the day after tomorrow,’_ he informed the blond – and his heart started racing as he spotted the three little dots once more immediately after his message was delivered. As if Erwin had been waiting for Levi to continue texting with him...

_‘Where to?’_

_‘Poland. I’m going with Hange for a week and a half to stuff myself with pierogi, bigos and beer.’_

_‘How lovely! But what is bigos? Sounds funny :-)’ _

And this is how Levi started his little culinary lecture, informing Erwin about the traditional dish made of cabbage, sausages and other ingredients, also telling him about _gofry_, hot waffles with many different toppings that Levi was looking forward to try out, and which Erwin was instantly a fan of because, as it turned out, he had a sweet tooth. This is also how Levi found out that Erwin had been planning to visit Poland for a longer time and was now absolutely convinced he needed to go, if only to try out all the dishes Levi had mentioned, making the blond man’s mouth water yet again.

Even through just texting Levi felt… He felt their connection again. How they clicked. How easy it suddenly was for him to speak to Erwin, once he had just begun telling him stuff. Of course, it was only about food and the places he wanted to visit in Gdańsk and around it, but still… Levi usually had a problem with communication and let Hange handle most of it anyway, didn’t have many friends whom he could talk to. Well, basically he only had Hange. Farlan and Isabel, who he had grown up with, had moved to the states for their studies and it was complicated keeping in touch with them on a regular basis, they saw each other once or twice a year. So Levi wasn’t really used to effortless and nice conversation. And here he was, chatting away with Erwin, opening up yet again, having some nice small talk with a little bit of cute banter, if one could call it this way.

But suddenly, the conversation took a turn. 

It wasn’t a bad one. It was just… It was just that Levi had nod expected Erwin to ask what the man asked, even if it wasn’t something complicated or appalling. _‘Can I take you to dinner when you come back from Poland? There’s this new Italian place that has just opened up near my place – and I think you’d enjoy it.’ _

Levi’s hands were suddenly so sweaty and his fingers so weak, his phone nearly slipped out of his grasp.

_Fuck. _

Erwin Smith was asking him to go to dinner with him.

Near his place.

IT WAS HAPPENING!

It was KURWA fucking happening.

But…

But what was he supposed to say?  
Was it too early to give in?  
To say yes?  
Should he say no?  
But why should he say no in the first place, when he really did want Erwin to invite him to dinner? And not only that?  
But…  
But wouldn’t it be too quickly to agree?  
Wouldn’t that make Erwin believe he had Levi already wrapped around his little finger?  
And would the man then still bother to change, to work on himself, to consider some things about his behaviour like he had announced in that statement of his if Levi just gave in like that?  
Hadn’t Hange just told him to give Erwin time to prove himself, prove he meant what he’d said?

_Kurwa,_ what was he supposed to do now?!

Then, Levi held his breath, once more seeing the three little dots appearing, knowing that Erwin was typing again.

_‘I’m sorry, that was a bit too quick, wasn’t it?’ the man wrote. ‘Just ignore my question. I will try again some time after you are back. Just enjoy your holiday and don’t think about me. Have a wonderful time, Levi. You deserve a breather and some relaxation time.’ _

And Levi wanted to do just that, but having read those lines… It somehow… It somehow hurt his heart. Because Erwin was trying, he was really _trying_ to make it up to Levi, wasn’t he? And… and Erwin Smith _was_ already working on himself and his pride and diva-character: He was making the first step here, wasn’t he? When he was so used to others approaching him. 

…and Erwin Smith really _liked_ him. He had fallen for him. Hard. The man wanted him to be his boyfriend. Otherwise the blond would have never posted all those things he had. He would have never come clean. Right?

And so Levi did what felt right to do, shutting off his brain and just following his slowly healing heart.

_‘I’d love to have dinner with you,’_ he answered and smiled dumbly when Erwin sent him twenty smiling emoticons as a response. “What a dork,” he mumbled, reading another incoming message from Erwin. 

_‘Thank you so much! I’m looking forward to it. Now I won’t bother you any longer, it’s late anyway. Have a wonderful night, Levi. And enjoy your holiday! Say hi to Hange.’ _

Only then Levi actually looked at the time, completely astonished it was nearing eleven o’clock at night. Had they really texted for two hours about Polish foods, beverages and the sight-seeing Levi was planning? “Fucking hell,” he muttered, hating himself for blushing because of that, hating himself for suddenly having a severe case of a butterfly-invasion in his belly, and that he went to sleep with a big smile on his face.

When he woke up the next morning, however, things looked and felt a little bit different. Because suddenly, the more time passed and the more Levi thought about it, the more he wondered whether he had done the right thing, and whether he should’ve listened to Hange and made Erwin ‘suffer’ a little, whether he should keep him in suspense, take his time.

“It’s only dinner…” he said to his friend when their plane was already up in the air, though Hange wasn’t really the one he was trying to convince; he was trying to convince himself. Only problem: It didn’t really work.

Hange sighed. “Yeah… but no.”

“Yeah, but no?” Levi picked up, eyebrow raised sceptically. Or was it nervousness that had once again befallen him?

Hange nodded. “It’s a _date_. And even though you haven’t told Erwin explicitly that you accept his apology and forgive him, you kinda _have_ by agreeing to this _date_ so quickly.”

“…so what are you implying?” Levi asked, even though he already knew because those thoughts had crossed his mind right the moment Erwin had asked him. 

“I think you’ve made it way too easy for the golden boy,” they said calmly. “You should have told him that you will _think_ about it.”

Levi groaned. Because this would have been indeed a good answer. It wouldn’t have been an immediate yes, it wouldn’t have been a decline either. How had he not come up with something this simple? Probably because Erwin Smith always fucked with his stupid brain. “Well, it’s too late now…” he hissed, making Hange smile lightly.

“Yeah, but it’s not the end of the world, Levi. I mean. It’s like you said: He really did make the first step. Or rather _steps_: He apologized publicly, which is, I might say it again, huge – _and_ he is the one who asked you out, when usually he is used to being wooed. That’s how he put it, right?”

“Yes.”

“See. I just wished you would have kept him on the hook for a bit longer for what he did... That’s all.”

Levi remained silent for a while, looking out of the window, seeing shit because they were flying through a particularly big cloud. He sighed. “So I fucked it up.”

“You only fucked up the part about making him, well, suffer; even if you don’t like the term, but you know what I mean… Though,” Hange added, emphasizing their words, “I am still extremely proud of you for not becoming an item with him right after the release of his statement. Let’s say that this is also a way of making Erwin… well, _pay_ for what he did and forcing him to prove himself to you. You’re good, Levi. It’s going to be fine.”

“So you are saying he’s gonna be my boyfriend _eventually_?”

“That’s your decision to be made. And I guess what you have to figure out, next to whether Erwin really means what he said, are your own feelings. I mean, I know that you _like_ him. But you need to figure out whether you can _trust_ him enough to have a relationship with him. Do you trust him?”

Levi sighed. “I… I don’t know.”

“And that’s exactly why you should also take your time with this. Sure, you might have agreed to that dinner thing a bit too quickly, but it’s not like you went out with him the same day or agreed to be his boyfriend straightaway, like I said – also thanks to our trip that forces you to be in a different country for over a week now and prevents you from seeing him. And that’s a good thing. Cause let’s see what Erwin will be like once you’re back. And let’s see how _you_ will feel about him when you’re back. Sometimes having the chance to put a little bit of distance between you and the person you like and the shit going on with them is a good thing. It enables you to have a different perspective onto the matters at hand, calm your tits and consider your emotions in a calm state.”

“Yeah… you are one wise bitch, Hange,” Levi replied and his manager grinned.

“I know, and now let’s focus on our trip, all right? The stewardess is on her way. Shall we have a glass of champagne to celebrate the start of our holiday?”

“…why are you even _asking_?”

The both grinned – and got tipsy during their rest of the flight, talking a lot of bullshit and vowing to cut down on the alcohol _after_ their return home. 

During their holiday, they enjoyed it to the fullest, the minibar of their fancy new hotel stocked up to the max, bars and restaurants with traditional as well as exotic dishes and alcohols in walking distance. They went out every day to a different pub. One night they even went dancing a little. But the best parts were their absolutely relaxed strolls through the old town and at the beach. 

They visited a lot of Gothic churches, because Hange was absolutely enthralled with them, they went kayaking, took a little cruise on a very old looking ship, and they always stopped somewhere to have a beer, a bite, talking, shopping, taking pictures. Some Levi posted on Twitter, like a selfie of him and Hange on a bright summer day on the famous wooden pier in the city of Sopot or eating a delicious meal in a pierogarnia, a special restaurant for pierogi, in Gdynia – or a different kind of portrait of himself naked under the shower, his hard cock in his soapy hand wishing his followers a beautiful morning and sending the ‘bestest’ wishes and love from Poland; or the picture Hange had taken of him at the beach, dressed in his tight dark swimming trunks, his muscled upper body glistening in the sunlight when he had just gotten out of the seawater wearing new fancy sunglasses adding to his attraction. One morning Levi even managed to undress completely at the beach, when they were the only ones in their favourite spot, and Hange took a pic of him pretending to be sunbathing, his semi-hard cock resting on his abdomen.

…and Erwin immediately liked those pictures. 

Because even if he didn’t post anything on Twitter, Instagram and all the other platforms, he was obviously still using them to look at stuff. To look at Levi’s uploads. And he did that rather regularly: the man liked _every_ single picture Levi or Hange chose to post during their stay. Innocent or really lewd. But he never commented on them – and he never texted Levi. And that… that started to worry Levi as the days passed. Until Hange couldn’t take it anymore.

“Listen, shorty,” they snapped one day when they were sitting in a restaurant waiting for their lunch to be served, sipping on some chilled white wine, “if you are worried he’s not interested in you anymore, which isn’t the case, because then he wouldn’t be liking _every_ single fucking picture you upload, just freaking text him already, even if I think it’s a bad idea. But I can’t stand those depressive phases of you staring at your phone with dead eyes anymore. I already told you that he just probably doesn’t want to bother you. I’d do the same if I were him: back off a little and wait until you are back in town. Like: He asked you to dinner, you said yes, perfect, it’s done – until then you should just enjoy your holiday and Erwin can wait like a good puppy dog. I really don’t see the problem.”

“But what if he changes his mind about wanting to be with me now that I’m gone?”

Hange rolled their eyes, groaning. “Then he’s an asshole and not worth crying over and you can get on with your life, but, seriously, dude: I just fucking told you: Would he really be liking all of your postings if he had changed his mind?! I don’t fucking think so!”

“But… I… I-I don’t know… what if…” Levi muttered.

“Jesus!” Hange cursed, rolling their eyes. “This is a nightmare. It’s like I’m talking to a 12-year-old girl who is in love for the first time.” And as soon as Levi’s friend said those words, Hange froze. Then they blinked, looked at the raven wide-eyed and blurted out their sudden realisation: “Fuck! You are in love for the first time!”

…and Levi blushed and he was sure his face had taken on the colour of the tomato sauce that was to be served with their _gołąbki_, a Polish form of cabbage rolls. 

“…I-I… well… um… y-yeah…”

Hange’s face immediately softened. “Oh god,” they groaned, burying their face shortly in both of their hand. “I’m sorry for bitching at you just now, Levi,” they mumbled in a soft voice, offering and apologetic smile, and the raven rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine. I mean: you’re right. I-I’m pathetic and I’m ruining our time here. Sorry…”

“No! No, no, no, no, babe, you’re not ruining anything. You’re just… Damn, you really are adorable and I’m a bitch. I’m so sorry. I just totally forgot that, well, that’s _Erwin Smith_. You’ve been in love with him since being a teen. I, sorry, it’s just so absurd that your favourite star reciprocates your feelings and sometimes I just forget the whole story behind all this crap. I think I’m drinking too much.”

“Hey, don’t cut down on the alcohol!” Levi protested, grinning slightly. “We said we’d do that after our holiday.”

“You are right, you are absolutely right, darling. I will just add more water into the equation,” Hange announced, ordering said non-alcoholic beverage immediately – but also another wine. “And to say it one more time: I really don’t think he’s changed his mind. He is practically stalking you on social media, but I think he knows that keeping his distance right now and letting you take a breather and think about all of this shit is important as well – that’s why he isn’t texting you. Okay?”

“…yeah… maybe you’re right…” Levi said – and a part of him believed this. A part of him didn’t. A part of him worried, but he gave it his very best to ignore those emotions rights now, push them to the back of his mind, to focus on his time with Hange. And he somehow managed.

They had a lovely day afterwards, went to play darts, got talking to some nice people from Warsaw who were extremely open-minded (which was a nice thing in a country suddenly so full of Catholic hate due to the fucked up government) and they spent a nice evening together, though their minds were still kind of blown when they found out eventually what Levi’s profession was. In the beginning they didn’t even want to believe it, thinking Hange and Levi were taking the piss, until Levi showed them his Twitter profile and webpage as well as an excerpt of one his movies; his career then became the talk of the group and the members had a lot of questions and got totally excited to be speaking to a gay porn actor for real – and Levi was tipsy enough to actually enjoy this kind of attention and to speak about it more or less casually. Also, because their enquiries weren’t offensive or judgmental but interested and genuine; and Hange helped a lot with providing polite and sophisticatedly formulated information. One of the guys of the group followed Levi on Twitter – and later that night liked some of Levi’s extremely explicit and lewd pictures which made the raven and Hange snicker, when they fell into their hotel room and into their bed. 

The day after the two of them visited a sex shop the group had recommended to them, hidden in a side street. It was big, fairly new and had a lot of stuff for anal play – and this is where Levi spotted it. The shelves with dildos shaped after the cocks of various gay porn stars – including Erwin’s dick. The very model he had disposed of in his furious state after the shit with Erwin had happened; and the blond man immediately occupied his mind again. Fully. And there was this big bundle of emotions spreading out in his chest. A certain kind of longing, mixed with regret over having gotten rid of the sex toy along with all those beautiful posters, for nothing really; because the reasons had all proven to be a false alarm, a misunderstanding. There was also a certain kind of warmth, laced with a peculiar stinging. And Levi was confused, he was uncertain – and then he suddenly had an idea. Or rather an urge.

“Hey Hange,” he said, taking one of the Erwin-dildos into his hand, “take a pic of me.”

“Sure!” his managed agreed, instantly snapping a picture of Levi posing with that particular sex toy in front of the shelf holding many more, pointing to it with his free hand, grinning seductively into the camera.

…and Hange didn’t say anything, merely smirked, when Levi actually bought it along with some interesting edible anal lube he’d found.

They went to swim in the sea again, had a massive dinner with way too much wine and vodka, and when Hange fell asleep instantly, Levi moved to the couch of their hotel room, switched on Netflix on his laptop and decided to relax a bit in his (very) tipsy state, having a foot bath, using some of the eco soaps he had bought in one of the stores they had visited that day smelling of lavender. 

_And he couldn’t stop thinking about Erwin. _

No matter how hard he tried to focus on the movie he was watching, changing it three times, and then just starting to re-watch “Friends”, without really paying attention to the episodes he had seen probably ten times already; because Erwin occupied his whole mind.

The blond man had once again liked his latest posting on Twitter. It was an innocent picture of Levi having a huge beer at a restaurant, wearing his cool sunglasses, waiting for his schnitzel to be served. 

But Erwin he still hadn’t _texted_.

Probably because of all the reasons disclosed by Hange, Levi kept teling himself.

But still…

Levi felt the urge to communicate with the man, presumably enhanced by the alcohol he had consumed. And thinking back to his friend’s outburst about Levi having depressed phases and staring at his phone with dead eyes, he chose to just go for it and text Erwin himself, to either make sure Hange was right and he could kill the worry, or find out that that gloomy part of him had been right after all and Erwin was changing his mind; then, at least, he could start to somehow move on. Right? Levi just wanted to know where he, where _they_ stood right now.

…and he found the courage to pick up his phone and actually do it after half an hour of an internal discussion that involved a lot of cursing as well as a big portion of blushing like a hopeless kid and eye-rolling as well as light scoffing.

Eventually, he sent Erwin the pic Hange had taken at the sex shop, which he had intended for this cause, holding onto the dildo-replica of the man’s cock. “Look what I found,” Levi wrote. Which was definitely nothing ground-breaking or witty; but, _kurwa_, he wasn’t sober and he was nervous and a little bit pissed off and tired and sad and worried and… 

And disappointed as he stared at the screen and did not see the three dots indicating the blond was answering appearing on it. And Levi waited, he waited for what felt like… Damn, he had no idea what it felt like and how much time had actually passed since he had started to glare at the screen of the device in his hand. He only knew that Erwin obviously hadn’t read it and that this was pissing him off even more; and it kinda hurt and made him even more anxious.

Because what if Erwin had started to think that because Levi had turned him down of the day of their latest shoot, and hadn’t given in directly after Erwin’s statement, the raven wasn’t interested after all? Even though he had agreed to go out to dinner? Friends and colleagues went to dinner as well, didn’t they? What if Erwin had started to force himself to kill his feelings for Levi because of those reasons? Trying to already get over him? Had he made a mistake? Should he had forgiven Erwin on the spot? But that… That hadn’t felt right. Right?!

_Kurwa. Fuck. Shit. _

Levi clicked his tongue, annoyed because of his emotional reactions, and put his mobile aside, telling himself now not to fucking freak out so much. Because the man had a life. Even if he was taking time off, he had stuff to do, couldn’t stare at his phone the whole time. Maybe he had gone out with friends? Maybe he was watching a movie? Maybe he was already sleeping? That was more realistic, right?

…or maybe Levi was right after all and Erwin didn’t really care about Levi writing him because he’d done some thinking and had come to the conclusion that getting into Levi’s pants and heart was just a big hassle and totally not worth all the work and drama and—

Before Levi completely drowned in a dark spiral of negative emotions again, his phone chimed; and it was _Erwin_ who had answered him, spamming his screen repeatedly with lots of dorky, laughing emoticons. 

_“That’s so cool!”_ the man added. _“So nice to know I have fans over there, too! Thank you for taking that hot pic for me. I hope you’re having a good time. But from what I can see on Twitter and Instagram, and what you have just sent me, you sure are ;-) Looking forward to having dinner with you!” _

And, fuck, Levi had no idea how to describe all those feelings that were now racing through his insides, making him feel so giddy and happy and utterly excited and relieved… 

For Erwin had obviously not changed his mind.  
Erwin was texting him back.  
Erwin seemed happy that Levi had contacted him.  
Erwin truly liked his pics.  
Erwin still liked _Levi. _

And the raven-haired had no idea whether it was only the alcohol that made him feel so bold and act the way he acted, making him write what he wrote, or if it was also due to the lack of jacking off this whole holiday except this one quick time under the shower when Hange had still been asleep, or if it could generally be just attributed to his major crush on Erwin Smith, now back to its former glory and beyond; but Levi could totally feel a certain kind of tension spreading in his abdominal region, slight arousal flowing further south as he thought about the blond man and his words, and how to answer him, which turned out to be: _“Are you referring to all my lovely shots eating gofry, drinking beer and playing ball at the beach – or do you have all my dick pics in mind?” _

Levi held his breath, blinking and staring at his rather cheeky response, wondering whether this had truly been appropriate – and then he spotted those fucking three dots, which appeared only briefly because Erwin’s answer was short. “_Both_…” the man responded, adding the emoji with a halo, indicating (fake) innocence. 

Levi's heart reminded him of his powerful existence and he swallowed dryly. _“And which ones do you prefer?”_ he dared to ask

_“Hmmmm,”_ came the immediate response from Erwin and Levi could practically see the man grinning. _“Right now I would have to go with… both ;-) I really like your dick but I also like your smile,”_ Erwin wrote and… and it painted just that onto Levi’s face: a smile. Well, maybe a hybrid of a smile and a grin, and it made him blush a little, while also causing the raven to shake his head slightly in light disbelief of how… how cute this answer was despite being a bit dirty; and how it was making him feel. And his fingers were itching to go down a very lewd road, but… But he decided against it and asked Erwin what he was doing instead.

But what Erwin told him defined the rest of their texted conversation.

_“Nothing interesting. I’m still cleaning my whole flat,”_ Erwin replied. _“It may sound dumb but putting everything in order and getting rid of some older stuff kinda helps me to sort out my thoughts and it’s somewhat refreshing. I guess it’s a little bit like yoga, but in the end you get more than just relaxation – you get a very clean house. And that’s a nice thing, right?” _

Levi was already typing before his brain even started fully working on an answer. _“I think this is the sexiest thing any man has ever told me,”_ it totally burst out of him, as he imagined Erwin cleaning, and how his muscles contracted when he dusted the top shelves or carried smaller pieces of furniture over to a different spot in order to vacuum the floor where they had once stood; and generally the thought of Erwin finding cleaning relaxing, liking to have his space in a neat state, considering Levi’s high standards of order, was… it was as intoxicating as all the beverage he had downed that day. 

Once more Erwin sent him a few laughing emoticons and a written response. _“I thought the only way to make cleaning sexy was to do it in kinky underwear – or totally naked…”_ …adding a smirking emoji at the end.

And that, in turn, made Levi feel bold again, forgetting all his thoughts about trying not to make this sexual. _“And ARE you by chance in your kinky undies? Or naked? Cause this would truly turn me on even MORE…”_

And then his heart froze. Because Erwin didn’t respond. He didn’t see the three dots. 

Levi didn’t see shit, starting to chew on his bottom lip, the voices in his mind becoming panicked, like in that movie “Inside out” where each person had little people in their head; and they were all screaming now, running around in a panic, pressing random buttons in the command centre, trying to stop a particular thought from manifesting itself. But it was too late. That ship had already sailed, and Levi was sure that he’d gone too far, that Erwin didn’t know what to say now, because on the one hand Levi was pushing him away, telling him the blond needed to prove himself, that he couldn’t trust him, and on the other hand he was still flirting with him – because their conversation couldn’t be called anything _but_ flirting – and he was being _very_ sexual while flirting.

What the, _kurwa_, fuck had Levi been thinking, what—

Erwin suddenly sent him a picture.

And all the voices in his mind instantly stopped talking, screaming, crying and laughing. There was complete silence. For a few seconds at least, before the pic was finally downloaded and appeared in all its glory on the screen, and all the non-existent little persons started screaming ecstatically, bringing Levi’s heart to create a wicked rhythm in his chest and his groin to throb lightly.

Erwin had taken a bathroom-mirror selfie and Levi was looking at his (very) naked torso, a cleaning cloth hung over his beautiful shoulder, his blond hair held back by a sort of white bandana, probably to prevent the strands from falling into his eyes while he was cleaning. His eyes were clear, the pretty mouth pulled into his signature grin, one that was endearing but at the same time hot as hell. This whole selfie was hot as hell. Probably even _hotter_ than hell, Levi thought, taking in the details of Erwin’s upper body, those nipples he had already sucked on, the flat stomach, those defines abs, Erwin’s golden chest hair and the very tidy bathroom space in the background – and Levi’s dick twitched, taking over the command, sending the brain into a slumber.

_“Damn. This is the hottest cleaning pic I have ever received. But what a shame I can only see your upper body,”_ he wrote, adding a winking emoticon, _“at least TELL me: are you wearing pants or not?” _

_“Guess,”_ came the instant reply, also garnished with a winking emoji, _“if you are right, you might get a full-body pic…”_

Levi’s skin tingled and he was once more surprised he was able to type more or less properly in his still (very) tipsy state, now even more agitated due to his arousal and his very positive nervousness, texting dirty with Erwin fucking Smith, who had fallen for him, who was sorry for what he had done, who wanted to work on himself for Levi, who was still interested, who wanted to take him to dinner, who...

_“I am very bad at guessing. Let’s put it this way: if I could influence reality, I would make you NOT wear anything else except for that bandana around your head.” _

Erwin sent him an emoticon wearing sunglasses immediately. And then nothing happened, and Levi started another inner debate. One side telling him that the blond wasn’t writing right now because he got down to taking a full-body pic, the other side starting to panic, telling him that maybe now he had taken things too far, but…

But those voices grew quiet, still, utterly silent again, as Erwin sent him another picture, still blurry in the beginning as Levi’s phone starting to download it, the raven’s hands trembling slightly, because he just couldn’t contain his excitement – and he nearly screamed when the photo finally appeared in its very sharp form on his screen.

It was another mirror-picture, but one of a different kind, in Erwin’s (very tidy) bedroom. It was a big mirror, one that captured the reflection of Erwin’s whole body. The man was standing with his back to it, legs spread into a wider stance, his body completely stripped, head slightly turned so that he was looking into the mirror over his left shoulder, lips twisted into a smirk, his right hand raised, holding up his phone with which he had taken the shot – and Levi just couldn’t stop staring at those firm, round, naked butt cheeks that made his mouth water and his fingers itch; he wanted to grab those globes, squeeze them, grope them, slap them, fucking bury his face between them. And once again he was writing back automatically:

_“This is like my wildest fantasy coming true. Am I dreaming?” _

Erwin sent him a whole line of smirking emoticons. And then he said something… something awful. And it was awful because it was wonderful.

_“You should see me scrubbing the floor...”_ he wrote and Levi nearly moaned at that because his mind created so many kinky pictures, sequences, of this act, having Erwin naked in each scenario like in that pic. And… And fuck, that was just so fucking hot and…

_“What kind of floors do you have?”_ Levi texted, still not using his brain.

Erwin didn’t question the enquiry. He responded immediately. _“They are almost all tiled.” _

_“God, I fucking love tiles,”_ Levi wrote back, groaning, _“they are resistant to dirt and you can clean them with practically anything and use lots of water without giving a shit...” _

_“Yeah...”_ Erwin replied, adding a grinning emoticon, and then intensified everything by writing: _“though I do tend to use TOO much water and get myself rather wet in the process of cleaning...” _

Levi swallowed dryly, not able to hold back the ferocious grin that had started to spread across his face. He was in the middle of sexting with Erwin fucking Smith. And it was… It was… That was so just so fucking hot – and he couldn’t stop. _“And did you get yourself wet right now?” _

_“Yeah, totally... just got down on the floor after taking that last pic. Wanna see?” _

Levi covered his mouth to prevent the totally embarrassing and nearly girlish scream from leaving his throat and waking up Hange sleeping only a few feet away on the bed. 

_“You scrubbing your floors naked? Are you kidding? OF COURSE!”_ he wrote back and felt all of his abdominal muscles coming to life, as something stirred in his southern regions. Each picture Erwin sent had spiked his arousal and this… _this_ photo would probably be the climax of the lewd selfie series; and Levi was growing hard. So fucking hard for Erwin _Smith_.

His heart skipped a beat as he watched the picture loading the man had just taken and sent him and then—

“Levi?” a hoarse voice suddenly murmured his name close to his left side, and this – Hange’s appearance, their sleepy, still slightly drunken tone – was so unexpected, so out of nowhere, Levi startled so much and fucking jumped up a like a scared-to-death cat, his jolting feet causing the water in the big bowl to splash over the edges and wet the floor, while at the same time, his phone slipped out of his hand and fell into his lap first, making him jump once again and… and the device bounce off his legs and float off into the depth of the lavender liquid surrounding his feet, turning… _instantly dead._

Levi needed a whole second to understand what had just happened.

And then he freaked out.

“Kurwa!” he screamed, his arm darting out to fish out the mobile phone out of the foot bath, making him almost tumble face forward onto the ground. “_Kurwakurwakurwakurwa….!_” His screaming had turned to something like whining when he was staring at his very dead phone, that didn’t react to anything, swearing he would never fall for the label ‘waterproof’ again as it was a horrific, terrible, flat-out fucking lie. “Fucking shit, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

…and Hange’s dumb, alcohol-infused reaction didn’t make it any better. Covering their mouth with both of their hands, Levi’s manager cracked up nonetheless, their laugh, which could not be suppressed, a shrieking abomination, sounds of panic mixed with surprise. “I-I-I’m so s-s-sorry…!” they breathed out in between the bellowing fits of horrifically amused noises laced with dread.

“You stupid fucking… _argh_!” Levi yelled, stomping into the bathroom, dismantling the device, taking out the battery and the cards.

“Rice!” Hange screamed. “We need rice! WE NEED RICE!!”

And before Levi could react, he heard Hange crash out of the room and hurry down the corridor.

“Fucking shit!” Levi cursed, but he couldn’t run after them – he needed to dry the pieces of his phone immediately, using the first small towel he could grab, cursing under his breath the whole time in Polish, English and German, whatever came to his mind. “_Kurwa, fuck, Scheiße!_” His hands were shaking and this was taking fucking forever. 

When he had finally dried off all the parts, he heard his manager’s heavy and quick and very loud stomps before their voice, crashing back into their space and into the bathroom, a bowl filled with rice in their hands, probably provided by the reception. “Quick!” Hange hooted. “Put your phone in here! To dry the insides!” Levi complied, though he feared it was too late to save the device anyway. “I’m so sorry, I scared you like that… I really didn’t mean to!”

“It’s… It’s okay…” Levi mumbled. 

And then, as the adrenaline, that had made him react and fulfil the rescue mission, focus on this, suddenly wore off – he panicked.

“Shit!” he screamed, staring at Hange with wide opened eyes who looked at him with a mixture of surprise and worry. “Fuck!”

“Wh-what’s wrong now?”

Levi felt unpleasant goosebumps spread all over his skin and his heart yet again beginning to hammer against his ribcage, his throat going dry and tight, the little people in his mind once more screaming and running against each other as well as the walls of his stupid brain as reality started to seep in.

“I-I… I was just texting with Erwin, and he sent me another pic, and – oh my god! He’s waiting for an answer and I-I-I… I _can’t_ answer because my phone is fucking dead, and – shit! I don’t have his number anywhere else saved. Do… do you have it?” he practically screamed at Hange acting as if they had switched roles, grabbing them by the shoulders, nearly shaking them because he was so fucking out of control, losing his shit.

Because he had just confirmed Erwin was still interested in him.  
Because they had just started communicating again.  
Because Erwin had just sent him hot shit.  
Because they were in the middle of a conversation that was going really fucking well.

And now the man would think Levi was _ignoring_ him… Or worse.

_Kurwa! _

“Fuck, do you have Erwin’s number? Fuck! I need to contact him, but I didn’t give it to you, did I? Did I? Why am I so fucking stupid?!” he continued to go at his friend and somehow at himself. “Shit! Damn, where’s that motherfucking tablet? I need to contact him somehow, DM him – but, fuck, what if he’s not in Twitter right now and what if he doesn’t check his mail, I mean I don’t really do that, you do, but what if Moblit won’t also check his mails right now? It’s almost fucking midnight! What if Erwin is so angry and frustrated he won’t look on social media and just go to bed thinking I have suddenly just stopped talking to him because… because of some bullshit reason? What if he starts thinking again that I am playing him? Fuck! What if—“

Hange had suddenly grabbed his cheeks with both of their hands, almost squashing them, their face so close to Levi’s their noses were almost touching, the manager’s gaze menacing, making Levi shut up immediately.

“Calm. The fuck. Down. Levi.” Hange sounded almost freaking sober right now, the adrenaline coupled with their previous sleep obviously showing some effect. “I’m going to call Moblit and get Erwin’s number and then you can text him from my phone. Okay?”

“…o-o-kay…” Levi stammered and Hange let go of his head. “But what if you can’t reach Moblit?! What if—“

Hange turned around grabbing Levi’s face once more but using more pressure now, making it almost hurt. They repeated their command, and it was freaking intimidating. “I said: _Calm. The fuck. Down. Levi. Ackerman._” Levi swallowed thickly and nodded faintly, as far as this was possible with Hange’s big and strong hands holding onto his face. “Good,” Hange murmured and let go. “Now sit down, and let mama handle this,” they ordered pointing to the couch of their room, and Levi complied, pressing his lips tightly together, swallowing down all the words wanting to escape his mouth in a river of utter panic, his mind filled with only one thing:

Erwin.

_Erwin. Erwin. Erwin. _

Fuck. 

Silently he watched Hange pick up their phone and hold it to their ear. He held his breath, his heart beating in his ears, fingernails digging into the upholstery of the piece of furniture as he couldn’t almost bear his nervousness and fear.

Had he just destroyed everything?  
Had he just conjured up another big misunderstanding?  
And if he had…

_How would Erwin react?_  
What would he do?  
What would he say? 

A cold shiver crept down Levi’s spine and he bit his tongue, thinking of the horrific article, of Erwin talking shit about him. Right at that moment, he heard Hange speak into the phone, and he held his breath again, listening closely. “Oh, hey Moblit, so sorry to be this disturbing you so late, I hope I didn’t wake you up? Um, I have a kind of an emergency situation… No, no! I’m fine! Levi’s fine, too. Oh, well, actually he isn’t – but he’s not injured or anything! Listen… He… He was just texting with Erwin…” Hange grew silent suddenly. Then, they started laughing. “Did he? Yeah, well, that’s actually exactly why I’m calling you. I accidentally startled Levi – and he flinched and dropped his phone into water and, well, it’s dead…” Levi felt so stupid when he heard Hange tell Erwin’s manager what had happened – and he even heard the man laughing, a blush spreading across his cheeks; but despite feeling embarrassed, he was foremost glad Hange had managed to reach the man. And it made him so relieved, so fucking, kurwa relieved, because it sounded so positive and he was sure Moblit would pass on Erwin’s number to his manager.

And the man did.

“Erwin actually just spoke to Moblit, like literally two seconds before I called him, thinking along the same lines as you did, and look – he already sent me or rather you text. Have fun, I’m gonna take a shower and then go back to sleep, Jesus…” Hange said, smirking and throwing their phone over to Levi – who almost dropped it into the foot bath still standing on the floor _again_, having them both scream for a second. “You are _never_ having a foot bath again!” Hange roared, laughing, before they disappeared in the bathroom, and Levi couldn’t agree more.

And then another situation repeated itself: A voice suddenly startled him. A voice he knew. A nice voice. A male voice. A deep and sexy voice. And then it hit him: It was _Erwin’s_ voice, saying “hello?” for the second time now, and it was coming from Hange’s phone in Levi’s hand, and when he looked down at the screen he realized that he had Erwin on the line.

“What the— hey! Hey!” he said, holding the device to his ear and mouth. “Hey, s-sorry, have I.. Have I called you?”

Erwin laughed. “Yeah, yeah you have,” he answered, sounding amused but also gentle, and the sound made pleasant shivers wander over Levi’s skin.

“Oh, sorry, I-I think it, um, Hange threw their iPhone across the room, I-I th-think I, um, must have accidentally pressed the call button when catching it, I’m hope I’m n-not interrupting anything…?”

“I was waiting for you to answer my text, so no: you are definitely not _interrupting_,” Erwin explained, chuckling – and it was so fucking charming it made that very special warmth spread inside of Levi’s chest; and it made him hopeful. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Levi confirmed, “Hange, um, a-almost scared me to death wh-when I was texting with you before… a-and I literally jumped up and flung my phone into my foot bath and went dead and I had to run over to the bathroom, dismantle it and try to dry it immediately, so th-that’s why I s-suddenly stopped responding…” he explained, laughing nervously and maybe thus speaking a bit too quickly, “a-and I know this sounds like the lamest fucking excuse ever, but it is totally true! And I had Hange call Moblit just now to find out your number again, so that I can tell you what’s going on using their phone and, and fuck… I’m sorry.”

“Shit, I’m the one who’s sorry!” Erwin breathed out, laughing a little. “About your phone,” he added. “I drowned mine in the toilet once, so I know the pain of losing a mobile in such a way. I hope you’ll be able to save it!”

“Yeah, um, me too…!” 

“I thought your battery went dead,” Erwin continued, “because… when you suddenly didn’t respond anymore, I tried calling you after a while and it went straight to voicemail.” Levi’s heart skipped a beat – Erwin had tried to reach him, waiting for his answer. It somehow made him happy… and proud in a weird way. “And then I thought you were just looking for a charger, but when I called you again after a while, I still couldn’t reach you so I thought, maybe you had some charging problems or that you were stuck somewhere or something like that, and I thought, um, well I would just contact you via your manager’s phone, ask if everything is all right. You know, Moblit tends to walk around with at least three power banks on himself and I-I thought Hange would maybe be like that as well so—“

“Hange definitely does that,” Levi interjected, laughing nervously, finding it amusing that Erwin was speaking almost as quickly as he himself had done before. “Um…” the raven mumbled, looking for the right words to convey his emotions and thoughts, “I-I… I was afraid for a minute here that, um, that you’d think I started ignoring you or, um, that you’d think I was playing you, like you did before…”

At that he heard Erwin sigh. “I… I _didn’t_ think _that_,” the blond then responded calmly. “I was, um… At first I was just a little bit worried that I went a little overboard with my last pictures and that they, well, put you off…”

“Pictures? You just sent me more than just one?” Levi blurted out, his mind going back to their (very hot) conversation.

“Um… yeah, I sent you two…” Erwin confessed – and Levi swore the man laughed nervously, and that sound… That sound… It was so cute while at the same time it was utterly sexy.

“Fuck!” he cursed, “Damn it! I wanna see them! I, um, um…” Levi hated himself for blushing and becoming a stammering mess once again, but on the other hand he just couldn’t contain his emotions when confronted with Erwin in this way, now absolutely happy and relieved they had not steered themselves into another big misunderstanding, that Erwin had used his brain and reacted, trying to find a way to contact Levi and not wait for the raven to do that. The diva that wanted to be wooed was already changing, wasn’t she? And to be honest: Levi had been thinking similar things the whole evening, wondering whether he was being too blunt and too eager, too sexual. “I really liked the pics you sent me before, so… Um, I-I don’t think that you sent me something that, um, could put me off… I, um, um, I was… hoping for a dick pic…” he blurted out.

“…and that’s exactly what I sent you…” Erwin then murmured, somewhat seductively, and Levi couldn’t stop that groan travelling up his throat.

“Shit, I really missed out! I hate my life!” he whined, joking, and made the blond man on the other end of the line chuckle lightly. “You, um, you…” Levi cleared his throat, shifting on the armchair near the exit to the balcony, far away from the rest of his foot bath. “You, um, think, you could… You could just send them to this phone? I-I would delete them directly after looking at them, so that Hange doesn’t have them saved, i-i-if you’re uncomfortable with that…”

“…all right,” Erwin agreed, without any hesitation, his response a dark hum that went straight to Levi’s groin. “Give me a second, I’ll put you on loudspeaker… okay… Here it is…” Erwin murmured, probably pulling up Hange’s contact info and a messenger, looking for the pictures to transfer them. “There you are, I sent them to you.”

“All right, let me take a look,” Levi said, his voice but a hoarse whisper, doing what Erwin had done, putting the conversation on loudspeaker so that he could operate on the mobile device – and sure enough: a conversation with Erwin had popped up on the screen. And when Levi activated the messenger, he nearly fell of the armchair, his dick springing to life, a huge wave of arousal paired with nervousness filling his insides, rushing to his head, making him feel slightly dizzy.

“…ho-ly… _fuck_…!” he whispered looking at a photograph that looked like someone had recreated it from Levi’s lascivious fantasies.

In the first shot, Erwin was on all fours, legs spread wide, bending towards the camera placed on the tiles in front of him, his very hard dick, the exposed head glistening with pre-cum, in the centre of the lens, both of the man’s hands holding onto a cleaning cloth that he was pretending to be swiping across the floor; and his whole body was, indeed, wet, little rivulets and droplets of water an ornament on the flawless skin. And Levi couldn’t stop staring at Erwin’s sex, but the man’s massive hairy thighs were a picturesque and erotic sight as well, just as his upper body visible in the shot, and Erwin’s face, mouth slightly parted as if he was moaning, those blue sapphires dreamy. And the second picture, that Levi opened to devour… it was… The second pic was… 

Levi gasped.

“…oh my fucking god…” he then moaned, as he examined it, his cock throbbing between his legs.

Erwin’s pose was the same. But the camera had been moved. Placed behind him. Between his very spread legs, lens focussing on his very spread butt cheeks revealing his rosy and obviously freshly shaved asshole – and Levi nearly lost his mind, not able to tell which one of the lewd shots he liked more.

Erwin chuckled, and Levi immediately put his phone back to his ear to be able to speak better to the man. “Holy fuck, Erwin…!” he breathed.

“…too much?” the man enquired – but didn’t sound insecure. Rather, his low tone was sexily teasing.

“Hell, fuck, n-no, it’s… they’re _perfect_…”

Another chuckle reached Levi’s ear, soothing while tantalizing at the same time. “I’m glad you like them.”

“I fucking love them!” it burst out of Levi’s mouth way too loudly, and he rolled his eyes. But Erwin seemed to like this reaction, chuckling once more.

“It’s weird,” he then suddenly remarked gently.

“What is?”

“This… um, this feels so natural.”

“What?” Levi enquired. “You sending me pictures of your asshole?”

That made Erwin bark out a laugh. “That, too,” he replied. “But what I actually meant was, um, I meant all of it. Texting with you, talking on the phone with you, joking with you, flirting with you…” Erwin’s soft words were making Levi’s whole body being flooded with comfortable warmth, while they were also making him feel somewhat agitated. Excited. “Like… Like it did on set at the penthouse. I don’t know… I just… I felt a connection, and I am feeling it now, and I’m sorry of this sounds strange and I am, once again, getting ahead of myself. I just have this urge to tell you everything that’s on my mind and it’s just crazy and, um, yeah. I’m really angry at myself I fucked it all up.”

“…you haven’t fucked it all up,” Levi replied, a sudden fit of panic infiltrating his emotions. Because he didn’t want Erwin to think this wasn’t going anywhere. “You… Let’s just say you made it a bit more complicated.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“I know.”

“Thank you for… for giving me a chance to prove myself.”

Levi couldn’t stop the smile from creeping onto his face. “You’re welcome, I guess…”

And what Erwin then said, it made the little people inside of Levi’s mind go absolutely crazy – in a very good way.

“I really am looking forward to see you, Levi,” the man nearly murmured softly, “I keep thinking about you every day.” And just as Levi wanted to reply something gentle, a loud crash, mixed with cursing, coming from the bathroom made him startle yet again. “…what… what was that?” asked Erwin who had obviously heard the sound, too.

“Fuck!” Hange’s voice reached Levi and he sighed, frustrated that the moment with Erwin was ruined, but also a bit concerned with his friend.

“Sorry, wait a minute,” he said to Erwin. “Hange, are you all right?” he yelled.

“…the manicure scissors are stuck in my foot…” came the embarrassed reply – and Levi rolled his eyes.

“Fuck, Erwin, I’m sorry, I need to go—“

“…okay, I hope Hange is fine?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, nothing that we haven’t encountered before…” Levi said, getting up.

“Um, okay… One more thing, Levi.”

“Yes?” the raven enquired, stopping in his movement, because somehow Erwin’s voice had sounded as if the man wanted to communicate something important.

“Can I book a table for Friday night after your return at the Italian place I told you about? Would that work for you?”

Once more, a giddy feeling spread through Levi’s chest. “…sure,” he replied, smiling.

“Perfect!” came the excited but still very gentle reply; and Levi just loved hearing Erwin’s voice like that. “Then, good luck with Hange, and enjoy the rest of you holiday!”

“I will, thank you Erwin. Also… thanks for the pics. I really, um… god, they’re so sexy,” he whispered and Erwin chuckled once again lowly.

“…I’m really glad you enjoy them…”

“…Leeeviiiii!” came the pleading yell from the bathroom.

“I need to go,” the raven said.

“Yeah, of course. Take care.”

“Bye.”

“Good night, Levi. Sweet dreams.”

Levi’s heart was still beating in that special kind of way after he had helped Hange with their little injuries and they had gone to bed. The way Erwin had wished him “sweet dreams” at the end of that… very intimate and nice call it… it made him feel on edge. It made him smile. It made him happy. It made him want to talk more to the blond. And also, it really helped him with his mood, which Hange picked up on. Telling him that he was glowing and that it really added to his attraction – and the they were glad for him.

The raven told his friend about the texting, their phone call, what Erwin had said to him, about booking the table, that the man had not thought the worst when he had suddenly not responded in the middle of exchanging messages as well as the lewd pics – which he did not delete from his manager’s phone because he just couldn’t bring himself to do this, especially because his phone stayed dead, broken. Hange promised not to look at them, though laughing. “Honey, thanks to you I think I have also seen all of Erwin Smith’s movies and there is not a single body part of his that I haven’t laid my eyes on”, the remarked grinning.

Levi laughed. Probably they were right. And Erwin hadn’t said that he wasn’t supposed to show it to Hange and he hadn’t remarked anything about being uncomfortable with the pics staying saved on that phone. But… But they had been taken for Levi and he felt as if… As if they were something personal. Private. Intimate. And he couldn’t stop staring at them, sad he didn’t have access to the selfies Erwin had sent him before due to the disaster with his broken phone.

Nonetheless, he enjoyed the rest of his holiday with Hange, with Erwin continuing to like his postings uploaded with his manager’s phone, and with Hange and Levi being absolute relaxed. At the last day Levi undertook a trip on his own – to the cemetery. Visiting his grandparent’s grave, Kuchel’s and Kenny’s parents, laying down flowers, lighting candles, cleaning their grave stones. He hadn’t known them well, but he felt obliged to be visiting, because his mother had always remembered them so well, had spoken so kindly of their childhood, spent in poverty, yet with lots of love. And as always, when he was here, among the gravestones, his thoughts travelled to his mother – and then it hit him.

He hadn’t asked Erwin about _his_ mum’s condition!

And he felt awful.

It was the first thing he did after entering the hotel room where Hange was waiting for him on the balcony, handing their phone over to him without asking any questions, merely smiling. And Erwin answered immediately _“She is a bit better but that’s probably only temporary. She has gone back home and doesn’t want to see me, but don’t worry about it. It’s always been like this, so I’m fine. Enjoy your last day!” _

This message… It pained him. And even though Erwin had told him not to worry about it, he did. And, keeping in mind that Erwin enjoyed sweets, Levi set out on a mission – and bought a full big bag of Polish sugary goodness for the man. Semi-soft milk toffee candies called _Krówki_, literally translating as “little cows”, the main treats of his childhood, various kinds of the famous chocolate wafers Prince Polo, and small bags of different kinds of candy: _Raczki, Kasztanki, Michałki. _

“Will all this actually fit into you bag?” Hange asked, laughing, and Levi just told them to shut up, grinning – and freaking blushing.

And even though he felt a bit melancholic about their holiday coming to an end, he couldn’t deny the budding excitement taking over his body when he boarded the plane. In just a few days he would got out on a fucking date with Erwin Smith. And he couldn’t wait to see the man’s face when he’d give him all of those wonderful sweets.

“Are we sharing a cab?” he asked Hange, after they had gotten their luggage – and the Polish treats had fit into Levi’s bag just fine! – and were walking through the doors into the terminal.

“I don’t think so, babe…” his manager declared, sounding a bit off and grinning lightly, gazing forward. And when Levi followed the direction of Hange’s eyes – he almost froze, his legs just continuing to move him forwards without his brain adding to the action.

Because there stood Erwin Smith.

Dressed in wonderfully tight dark blue jeans and pitch black dress shirt with short sleeves, revealing his toned arms.

And he was holding a big red rose in his hand, smiling almost… shyly at Levi.

“Holy shit…” was all the raven was able to whisper, his treacherous heart once again trying to break through his ribcage and the little people underneath his skull singing epic songs of praise.

And then his knees buckled. So much, that he actually finally did it. Or rather: it happened.

Levi stumbled over his own two feet – and fell to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am so overwhelmed by all your feedback! Thank you so much for commenting! I used some of my time during the past few days to answer and I hope I have succeeded in getting back to each and every one of you. If that's not the case, I apologize, it's due to my clumsiness and my chaotic mind ;-) I truly am happy about ALL of your comments. It is so interesting to read you feelings and thoughts on this. THANK YOU!
> 
> And THANK YOU artists!!! 
> 
> Saurynn has drawn ANOTHER scene, this time from chapter 7 and it is SO AMAZING!  
https://twitter.com/saurynn/status/1180339354260185089?s=20
> 
> And Buckarts posted their kinktober contribution depicting Erwin's and Levi's hot sex scene from the first shoot, and I freaking LOVE IT!!!!  
https://twitter.com/Buckarts/status/1181314199345123329?s=20
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
> 
> And everybody: Check out the rest of their beautiful art!!!
> 
> And let me know how you found this chapter!
> 
> Wanna chat about it? Add me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SummoningIsis


	9. Winds of Venus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers!
> 
> This time you had to wait a little longer for an update. The reason is, I had to take some me time and digest the next bad news of my life. The company of my husband is reducing production because of the current market situation and we have no idea what the next year will bring - which kinda sucks because we just bought a house and have to pay the mortgage. I am trying to remain positive and so is my husband. We will pull through somehow. 
> 
> So, even if I haven't managed to answer all of your comments yet (because I WILL!) just let me tell you at this point that you totally helped me with your words not to fall depressed. Thank you sooooo much for all your interesting and long input and let me stress again: I WILL get back to you :-)
> 
> I hope that you are fine with me using the free time I have to type this update and hopefully you will let me know what you think of it again. This is giving me strength for real life! And it is still so much fun.
> 
> ALSO!!!! LOOK AT THIS ART:
> 
> Saurynn has done it AGAIN:  
https://twitter.com/saurynn/status/1183870514860871681?s=20
> 
> And so has FlyBehemoth:  
https://twitter.com/FlyBehemoth/status/1188516458843656193?s=19
> 
> Take care, you guys! :-)

“Levi!” Hange’s voice was full of surprise and a slight portion of panic, and Levi’s friend and manager tried to grab him, steady him, stop his body from being pulled to the ground by gravity, or rather his own clumsiness. But Hange was too late. Their hands only touching air as they reached out for him, Levi’s body already hitting the filthy linoleum of the airport floor, stemming from an era long before their birth.

He shielded his face, extending his arms and thus cushioning the crash, cringing in disgust when his hands and forearms touched the dirty surface meant for outdoor-shoes only, feeling grains of sand and dust and whatnot press into his skin. His knees hit the floor unshielded, and that actually hurt a little. But what was far _worse_ than the physical impact was the utter shame Levi felt.

“Levi, are you okay???” Hange roared, now in full-parental-mode, kneeling down next to him, touching his shoulder tenderly, as he was already starting an attempt to get himself back onto his feet; and his friend’s loud, exasperated voice as well as their action drew even _more_ attention to Levi and his despicable, embarrassing situation.

He felt his cheeks heat up, as if a raging bush fire infected his sensitive skin and the voices inside of his head were screaming loudly and in full panic – BECAUSE ERWIN (!) HAD JUST _KURWA_ WATCHED HIM TRIP LIKE A FREAKING SLAPSTICK CHARACTER!

...and then suddenly loud, urgent footsteps were coming nearer.

Levi looked up instinctively, and as he did so, he was staring at a pair of dark, elegant leather shoes and the pant legs of dark blue jeans. A second later, the man whom they belonged to squatted down, and when Levi shifted his gaze even further up – he looked right into those beautiful blue eyes full of concern.

Only then, after a few more seconds had passed with Erwin and Levi looking at each other, the latter realized that for one, the blond man, still holding onto the rose, was talking to him, and for two, he was offering Levi his free hand for support.

“Are you hurt?” Erwin asked, and Levi finally managed to answer.

“No,” he said, voice somewhat raspy and a bit strained, “I-I’m fine,” he added and it took all of his willpower to make himself grab Erwin’s offered hand; and when their fingers touched, after a time that had felt like ages, Levi swore he felt electrical sparkles shoot all across his sensitive skin, travelling through the rest of his body, igniting something inside of his belly.

Erwin’s hand felt warm and soft, and Levi felt ashamed, not able to look into Erwin’s eyes when he was back on his feet, pulled up by this strong, muscled arm of his idol. “Thanks,” the dark-haired murmured, face and ears still burning, letting go of the blond man to brush the light layer of dirt off his clothes as well as his arms and palms, feeling terribly nervous. Even more, when Hange enquired if he was all right, which he confirmed, and then his manager suddenly leaned forward and whispered something into his ear; a goodbye.

“Enjoy your evening and call me when you wake up.”

And with this, Hange was gone, yelling a short farewell to Erwin over their shoulder, before speeding off. And Levi wondered if this was Hange’s blessing for Levi to stop making Erwin ‘suffer’ or...

“Hey...” the soft murmur coming from Erwin caught Levi’s attention and he raised his head involuntarily. But when he did, he was quite happy it had happened. For Erwin, smiling gently, making soft wrinkles appear on either side of his mouth, looked... _absolutely gorgeous_. “Welcome home,” the handsome man added, still speaking in that low murmur, holding out the beautiful red rose that Levi was now staring at.

A symbol of love.

...

RED ROSES WERE SYMBOLS OF LOVE, WEREN’T THEY?!

“Th-th-thank y-you...” came the stuttering answer as Levi took the big flower smelling intensively and his thoughts and feelings were thrown into a cocktail shaker once again.

“Um...” Erwin suddenly began to speak, “I’m... like... I said I didn’t want to overwhelm you and rush things, s-so I, um,” he sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his neck, grimacing slightly, making Levi’s heartbeat increase – because a rather nervous Erwin was just so... _adorable_. “I’m not here to force you to, um, do anything with me tonight. I really only wanted to welcome you home, see you, and I obviously couldn’t wait till Friday. So, yeah. I hope you’re not angry with me that I showed up without any heads up? I mean, I will go home now, I swear. I mean, after you let me take you to a cab, that is,” he added a tiny bit more confident, a light grin appearing on his face. “_Then_ we can part ways.”

And Levi, honest to god, just wanted to throw himself into those strong arms of the man who didn’t even _mention_ his ludicrous downfall just now. But he stopped himself, shushing those voices in his head and chest, screaming at him to do it, telling the whole crazy lot to fucking wait.

Which didn’t mean he had to stop conversing with Erwin. 

And it also didn’t mean he couldn’t spend the evening with this man.

“Did Hange tell you the time of our plane?” Levi questioned, still kind of blushing and feeling touched by Erwin’s gesture and his oh so sweet words; and utterly nervous, of course, like he always did in Erwin’s presence.

“Um, no, I checked the connections. And since I was here this morning when the first plane from Gdańsk arrived, and you weren’t on it, I knew you had to be here now.”

“You were here this morning at 7, because you _assumed_ I could be on the early plane?” it burst out of Levi’s mouth, his heart skipping a beat at this wonderful realization. His incredulous words made Erwin laugh. It was a pure and lovely sound, so sincere; so lovely. 

“...yeah...” the blond man confirmed, maybe a bit shyly, once again rubbing his neck in this sweet, embarrassed way.

“Why _didn’t_ you just ask Hange? I mean: You could have slept longer a-and saved one trip...”

“Yeah, well, if I had done _that_, Hange would have told you about it... and I wanted to surprise you,” Erwin answered. “...and then again, I guess I was also a bit scared that if they told you, _you’d_ tell me _not_ to show up...” he added a confession, that nearly broke Levi’s heart, as he was clutching onto the rose Erwin Smith had gifted him. And as he did so, feeling the stem with its slight thorns between his fingers, it hit him: Nobody before had gotten him flowers; this was his first fucking gifted present of this romantic sort.

Because this is what it was: romantic, right?

If Erwin had chosen different kinds of flowers, one could view it as simply nice, just kind. But a red rose...

It meant something, right?

It WAS romantic, wasn’t it?

...and with a lot of dread overflowing his body like a tidal wave, Levi suddenly realized that he had absent-mindedly started smelling the lovely flower, his nose _buried_ in the red petals – and Erwin was staring at him, a fairly insecure and somewhat surprised smile gracing his lips. Because the man was waiting for Levi to fucking answer him, holy shit!

The man who had been scared by yet another rejection from Levi.

And Levi needed to react! Immediately!

“I-I-I wouldn’t have told you th-that... idiot,” he said, finally lowering the flower to get his nose out of the petals, scoffing, letting his gaze wander all over the well-built man, only able to look into Erwin’s eyes shortly; those beautiful, ocean-blue, soft sapphires that made him want to do so many things.

“I’m glad about that,” Erwin replied, voice as soft as the look on his face. “But you must be tired,” he then continued. “Let’s get you to a cab so you can head home.”

“..._or_…” Levi started, mustering up all his courage to let out the words that wanted to escape his mouth, pushing his plan on cutting down the alcohol back, “we could go to my favourite wine bar for a _drink_...” 

When the suggestion finally poured from Levi’s lips, and when he found the next set of courage to look up into Erwin’s eyes, he was met with the most charming look ever. One composed of mild surprise and... happiness.

“I’d love that,” Erwin said – and finally this sentence was loaded with a positive meaning again, “but only, if you really want to. I really don’t want to force you...” the blond repeated a bit more serious.

“You aren’t,” Levi assured, even managing a smile, which increased the intensity of _Erwin’s_ smile, which, in turn, made shivers ripple down Levi’s spine and his heart race and his knees begin to shake again and...

And...

And his heart was racing like a motherfucker on meth when they walked through the terminal, side by side, Erwin filling the silence caused by Levi’s fluttering nerves with pointless but pleasant small talk about flying and how he was actually a little bit scared of it.

“You’re scared of flying?!” the raven-haired nearly snapped, surprised about this revelation. And when he watched Erwin straighten his way too tight, dark shirt and smile faintly, looking on to the ground – clearly feeling a bit embarrassed – the raven wanted to scream; even louder as he registered Erwin’s face heating up, his skin turning slightly red around his cheeks.

Because.... Erwin Smith had always been that hot, confident, tough, sort of sympathetic macho guy in Levi’s eyes. Always in a bad boyish, cheeky mood, ready to pull a prank or split you open with his cock. And now here he was: scratching his neck in this adorably uncomfortable state, cheeks red, starting to chuckle mildly as he dared to look back at Levi.

Seriously, when had this man started to be so... so... Erwin Smith was _cute_ and _adorable_ and _sweet himself_, and this realization kind of overwhelmed Levi. Everything about Erwin seemed to be doing that to him. _Everything. _

“I just perceive flying as a very unnatural form of movement for human beings,” Erwin explained. “And I told you I was gonna try to overcome my pride for you,” the blond added and Levi’s heart started to race once again, “that’s why I’m telling you.”

“…th-thank you…” Levi managed to mumble and stopped himself in the very last second from burying his nose in the flower once more. And walking into a pillar. 

“What about you? Are you scared of flying?”

“No,” Levi answered, his thoughts and heart travelling back to his first experience up in the air. “The first time I was on a plane was with my mother, it was also _her_ first time flying,” he said, thinking it would only be fair to open up, if Erwin was doing the same – overcoming boundaries just for the raven’s sake, and besides… It felt so _natural_ to be talking to Erwin, sharing things with him, things from his past. He didn’t feel pressured, he didn’t feel any negative tension between them, it wasn’t bothersome like with other people where Levi wished they’d just shut up, walk away and leave him alone. He _wanted_ to talk to Erwin – and that was so unique and new, and it was making his skin tingle lightly. “We were going on a big holiday for the very first time. Usually we just went to Poland by car or bus, but this time she wanted to take my somewhere special, and we flew to Mallorca and swam in the sea for a whole week, and… And flying was just so much fun. My mother also enjoyed it tremendously, the start, how we shot up into the sky, how small the houses and cars suddenly looked from above, and… And it all gave me a sense of freedom. Also, because we went alone and I was away from my uncle Kenny and I had my mum all to myself and she wasn’t worried about anything, just smiling all the time, enjoying herself, focussing on our time together… So…”

When Levi looked at Erwin, the man was smiling so tenderly, Levi wanted to get his phone out and capture this moment forever. Only his device was broken and just snapping random pictures of people was generally not a good idea…

“You associate a very positive memory with flying,” Erwin summed it up.

“Yes.”

“That’s very nice,” Erwin said, “and your mum really sounds amazing. You must miss her a lot.”

“Yeah…” Levi agreed as they exited the terminal and were walking towards the cab, “I do.” And then suddenly, he remembered again. “…wh-what about you? Um… anything new from _your_ mum?”

Erwin’s soft face hardened a little, it was only a second before the man relaxed again. “No,” he then answered, giving Levi another smile, probably to show him that he didn’t have to worry about choosing this topic, that it was okay to ask, even if it was hard for the blond to talk about it, “she still doesn’t want to see or talk to me, so I have no idea what’s going on.”

“Oh. I’m sorry…”

“I told you: don’t worry about it.”

“I… um, I got you something,” Levi immediately changed the topic – and he swore he saw Erwin’s whole face light up instantly.

“…a present?”

“Yes,” Levi immediately answered, while the cab driver loaded his luggage into the trunk and both of them got into the vehicle. “I-it’s… it’s not big, or anything, but… W-well, I’ll give it to you i-in the bar…”

Erwin’s face was still lit up when the car started moving towards the directions Levi had given the driver, and Levi swore he could look at this happy face of Erwin Smith all night; and the thought that the man was this excited only because Levi had mentioned buying him a present, it… it was… It totally blew his mind, made him feel giddy, and yet he managed to keep talking to the blond throughout the whole ride, telling Erwin about his holiday, the places he’d seen, the foods he’d eaten, the swims he’d taken in the sea, the blond placing a genuinely interested enquiry here and there. And once more, Levi was surprised, as to how easy conversing with Erwin was, despite him being nervous as fuck in the man’s presence. Well, maybe he wasn’t as nervous as he’d been on the day of their shoot in the penthouse, yet he wasn’t _totally_ relaxed either.

“Look, there’s a lovely place at the back, right next to the big windows,” Erwin pointed out as they’d entered the bar, already leading their way to the mentioned destination.

They ordered each a big glass of Riesling and some crackers to go with it, and when their beverages were brought to their table, Levi finished his holiday-recounting with Erwin still looking at him like a fascinated child looked at someone who’d just told a magnificent tale of action and magic. “Um... wh-what about you?” Levi then asked the blond. “Wh-what have you been up to… while I was gone? …next to sending me pics of your asshole and hard cock while you cleaned your flat?”

Levi had no idea where this had come from, and when it was out, he was yet again surprised he’d managed to be so easy-going and flirty and cheeky and… and Erwin was laughing.

“Well…” he eventually started to answer after clearing his throat, “I’ve been thinking a lot. About everything, just like I’ve mentioned in my statement on social media. And…” the man made a pause, raising his gaze to look back into Levi’s eyes, his sapphires boring deep into their grey counterparts, and then this signature cheeky grin appeared on Erwin’s lips, the one that had always made Levi’s knees go weak. “…and, well… I’ve been jacking off a lot to all the hot pictures you uploaded during your trip…” he then confessed – and Levi nearly choked on his wine, just like he had choked on the champagne in the hot water in the penthouse, his body then producing a nervous fit of laughter automatically, while his heart hammered in his chest.

And a part of him was SCREAMING on the inside. Because Erwin _fucking_ Smith had just admitted he’d jerked off to _Levi’s_ pictures, unholy, _kurwa_ hell...! This was one of the biggest and most wonderful, even if dirtiest, compliments he had _ever_ received. And to think it had come from _Erwin_... it made Levi’s mind spin and conjure up a picture of the very act the man had just described. The big blond hunk sitting stark naked on his bed, his massive thighs spread, big fingers wrapped around his equally giant cock, lips parted, sighs and moans escaping his mouth, brows furrowed, while he stroked his solid length encircled by golden locks as he looked at Levi’s photograph...

A faint wave of arousal washed over the raven at that moment, and it made him act a little bit bolder. It led him to, once again, forget about his nervousness, and push for his luck, reminding him of what he’d felt that night in Gdańsk when texting dirty with Erwin; and his groin stirred some more, wicked excitement taking over.

“...and which one of my pictures was best, huh?” he enquired, his tone a mixture of confidence and lasciviousness, making Erwin chuckle.

Then, the man leaned slightly over the table, coming closer to Levi, a sexy grin on his face, one that Levi also always saw in his dreams, be it during day or night time. “It’s really _hard_ to choose a winner...” Erwin murmured, tilting his head a little in amusement, his mesmerising eyes locked with Levi’s, “I had a good time with each and every one of them, to be honest.”

Levi snorted, still feeling bold. “So you’re telling me you jerked off to me eating a huge chunk of cheese and cuddling with Hange at the beach completely covered in a thick layer of sunscreen? Perverted taste, I’d say...” he commented with a smirk, making Erwin’s grin intensify.

“Those pictures _were_ kinda hot, too, even if in a slightly disturbing way,” the man remarked, feigning contemplating something before he looked back into Levi’s eyes and continued: “But I’m talking about the more _explicit_ snaps.”

“_Are_ you know?” Levi mumbled, taking another sip of his chilled wine as did Erwin, feeling a very specific _tension_ growing between them. A wonderful tension, hot and heavy, making his belly twist a little in a pleasant way.

“Yeah...” Erwin breathed; an innocent word but laced with so much seduction, Levi’s cock throbbed.

“And _which_ one of _those_ in particular?” Levi enquired, acting naive, while keeping his tone low that was _clearly_ to Erwin’s liking. “Pick a favourite...”

“A favourite?”

“Yeah...”

“Huh... Tough choice... But I guess I’ll have to go with the shower one.”

“Which one?” Levi enquired, “I believe I’ve posted two...”

“True,” Erwin agreed, “and if you force me to choose between them, I’ll definitely go with the one where you’re holding your foam-covered cock right into the camera...” he added, looking Levi deep into his eyes, and Levi was so turned on in that instant and excited as well as surprised how smoothly this was going, despite him blushing a little and his pulse having quickened. But... But they _got_ this. The sexy teasing. And not only because it was their job, but foremost because they had a very peculiar and good chemistry going on between them. Levi felt it, now more than ever – their connection. As if they’d always done this, as if this was something _normal_, a regular thing. But it wasn’t. Not yet, at least.

“My...” Levi started to answer, wanting to sensually point out that his cock head _hadn’t_ been covered in foam in this picture and you could definitely see the pre-cum glistening in the sunlight, but a group of four noisy women that had burst into the bar, invading the back of the venue and getting comfortable just one table down from theirs, their laughter and excited chatter filling the bar, interrupted him.

Erwin’s and his eyes met – and both of them grinned somewhat shyly, knowing that their shameless talk of naked pictures and jerking off had just come to an end. Because obviously Erwin, despite being a famous porn star, valued his privacy just as Levi did; and Levi enjoyed it tremendously.

Acting like this within a movie, on set with many people watching, knowing that hundreds more would see and hear it on screen, was something completely different than speaking like this... in private, uttering words like this as _yourself_, and not ‘in character’. Because the Levi on set or rather on screen wasn’t 100% the true Levi – and he was sure it was the same thing with Erwin, just like with any other of their colleagues.

As Levi overheard one of the women tell her friends she wanted a sweet drink, he suddenly remembered his gift. “Shit,” he muttered, grabbing his bag and lifting it onto the empty chair next to him, opening the zipper to get the monster packet of sweet snack out for Erwin.

“What’s the matter?” Erwin enquired, sounding a bit worried, and Levi had to confess that him rummaging through his belongings almost frantically – as the nervousness seemed to be inhabiting the place left behind by the subdued arousal – looked as if he was in search for important documents that might have been forgotten in the hotel room and which he had just remembered; or as if he was looking for his wallet, fearing it might have been stolen.

“Your gift,” he immediately clarified, offering a (shy) smile, “I told you that I wanted to give you your gift at the bar. Why didn’t you remind me?”

Erwin grinned. “Well...” he breathed, lowering his voice to a murmur, “I was rather distracted by watching you and listening to you talking about your holiday, thinking of all those hot pics you’d posted – and I didn’t want to seem greedy,” he added, closing with a little wink.

Levi scoffed lightly – but with a grin on his face, as he finally got hold of the box of sugary goodness he’d picked for Erwin. “Here,” he said, pushing it over the table, “hope you don’t mind it isn’t wrapped,” he added.

He had decided against gift paper because he was afraid it might have led to Erwin thinking it was something huge, while it was only sweets...

“Can I open it here?” Erwin asked in a hushed voice.

“Off course, dimwit,” Levi snorted. “It’s a present, so it’s yours now. Why _shouldn’t_ you open it? Do what you want with it...” he blurted out, realising he was saying all of this because he was a bit afraid of Erwin’s reaction to the sweets, what he’d say, what his facial expression would be like, if he’d like them; Polish sweets were wonderful and many people abroad enjoyed them, but not all of them. Some of the candies _did_ have a... peculiar taste. And... and maybe Levi should have asked Erwin beforehand what his sugary preferences were. Maybe he should have picked only chocolates? Because what if Erwin didn’t like some of them? What if he was allergic to some ingredients – fuck, Levi hadn’t considered that! And what if—

“...I was only making sure it was safe to open in a semi-public space,” Erwin’s cheeky comment stopped Levi’s panicked thoughts, and the raven blinked, not comprehending the blond man’s remark at first, until Erwin gave him an explanation. “I mean: if it was a sex toy, those girls over there would probably feel uncomfortable, like... if I unpacked a huge-ass anal dildo or butt plug it might shock them a little, considering the interested way they keep looking over already...” he added nonchalantly, shrugging with a wide grin ln his lips.

It made Levi snicker. Or did he huff out a nervous laugh? Yes. That definitely had been a nervous, way too high-pitched laugh; and his gaze shifted over to the girl’s table, only adding to his newly budding tenseness when he caught one of the females, indeed, staring at Erwin…

“...wh-why would I be buying you a sex toy, I m-mean—“

“I am waiting for them to bring out a dildo shaped after _your_ dick,” Erwin continued in this calm, but slightly amused as well as sultry voice. “I’d definitely be happy to receive a gift like _that_…”

...and the voices inside of Levi’s head started to scream again, their sounds full of happiness and excitement and agitation; and something inside of Levi’s guts stirred – because, _kurwa_, Erwin had just implied anal masturbation with the help of something tied to Levi, which meant: he had truly enjoyed the raven topping him during their first filming… Right? But Levi couldn’t focus on this now, as the other voices were in full agitation, the little people in Levi’s head running around frantically again, because Erwin’s comment _also_ meant that the man was expecting something more than just sweets, right?

RIGHT?

Fuck.

“I-I-I told you, i-i-it’s nothing _big_,” Levi stammered, “and definitely _not a sex toy_…” he added in a quieter voice, once again checking whether one of the women were looking over. They were. Risking short glances not meant to be registered. But they were. “I-I—“

“Levi,” Erwin’s calm and gentle voice made the raven shut up and look at the blond man sitting on the opposite side of the small table. Erwin was smiling tenderly. “I was only joking,” he said, once he was sure he had the younger man’s attention. “I don’t care what it is you brought with you. I’m happy about shells and sand, rocks, whatever – I’m… I’m just totally touched and _positively_ surprised you… you got me a gift. And that’s why I’m nervous. And when I’m nervous, I either smoke, or, when I’m not able to smoke, I make… jokes. Mostly I try to cover my nervousness up with making _steamy_ jokes… So… sorry… I’m not expecting a sex toy or anything else. I’m really happy. Thank you.”

…and Erwin making yet another confession, Erwin being so sincere, it made Levi’s brain malfunction and he blurted out his thought that had been only meant to be heard inside of him. “…you’re really sweet…”

Erwin’s eyes widened a little, and Levi wanted to face-palm himself. But when he saw Erwin looking at the little paper box placed in front of him with this utterly gentle and happy smile, his eyes turning somewhat dreamy, as he muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, Levi stopped hating himself for his little slip. Seeing what his words did to the tall, strong man, turning him into a fluffy mess – because Erwin’s cheeks were definitely dusted in a lightly rosy colour and he totally looked like a puppy now – that all _did_ something to Levi. Made this certain kind of warmth spread inside of his chest and belly, his knees grow weak. It filled him with a very special type of emotional satisfaction. It made him… _happy_. And excited. And it filled him with _hope_.

Levi cleared his throat. “…so… are you gonna… open it now?”

“Yes!” Erwin immediately exclaimed, maybe a bit too loudly, making all four women look over at once, as Levi could see out of the corner of his eye. “Yes…” Erwin repeated a bit quieter, looking shortly into Levi’s eyes, who grinned and took a big sip of his wine that was causing a wonderful feeling in his tummy and head. Or was that all Erwin’s doing? He almost held his breath as he watched the blond open the box – and then Erwin’s face lit up. 

“Holy shit,” the man blurted out, raising his head, locking eyes with Levi, “are these…?”

“They’re all sweets,” Levi supplied. 

“…and they’re all for me?”

The raven scoffed – not able to deny the fact that Erwin’s state of sweetness-shock, making him act a little bit like an innocent kid, was terribly adorable. “For whom else would they be?”

“Wow… there’s…. there’s so much of them…!” Erwin huffed out, letting his gaze roam over the variety of products Levi had chosen for him. “I… I think I know those _Prince Polo_ waffles. I think I’ve had one before, but that is ages ago…!”

“Want me to explain the flavours of the different candies?” Levi asked, because obviously the descriptions were written only in Polish and he always did that when gifting sweets from his home country, the persons receiving them grateful for his explanation. And Erwin seemed eager, too.

“Yes, please!” the man sounded excited – and it warmed Levi’s heart up even more.

The blond was listening closely, as if Levi was explaining a scientific experiment and your safety depended on sticking to the precautions and regulations – and Levi found that cute. 

Erwin immediately tried one of each sweet goods, despite Levi’s remarks that it probably wouldn’t go well with the wine, but Erwin, as the man said, his mouth full of chocolate, didn’t care – and Levi found that cute, too, even if the fact the blond had talked with his mouth full should’ve annoyed and disgusted him.

When Erwin ate the chocolate waffles and candies, commenting positively on each taste, the faces of culinary satisfaction and noises he made, drew the attention of the four women even more; for there was pure, raw pleasure painted all over Erwin’s lips and eyes and cheeks, and sounds of satisfaction were leaving his mouth – and it made Levi think of all of Erwin’s porn films. _This_, he _didn’t_ find cute – he found it intoxicating.

…and he was utterly happy that what he had chosen was to Erwin’s liking.

“God,” Erwin mumbled after swallowing the last bit of candy and washing it down with his remaining whine, “this is so good, Levi! Thank you so much.”

“You won’t be thanking me once you are diagnosed with diabetes…”

Erwin chuckled and wanted to say something, but a waitress approached them, one that Levi hadn’t seen before here, asking them whether they wanted to order another drink – and their eyes met. And it was obvious Erwin didn’t want to answer this question, waiting for his raven-haired companion to make that decision – and _that_ Levi found cute again. 

Because it proved to him that Erwin really was trying to stick to his words, not pushing for it, trying not to overwhelm Levi, not to force him to spend time with him. The only problem with this was: Levi was sabotaging this plan. At least a little. Because it had been his idea to come to this bar. And it was him who now prolonged their stay. “Two more glasses of Riesling, please,” he heard himself saying to the smiling young women with wild red hair who reminded himself a little bit of Isabel.

“Coming right up,” she said cheerfully, walking over to the women’s table to also take their orders. But Levi didn’t pay it any attention, his eyes refocussing on Erwin and the man’s breath-taking, soft smile, half-confident, half super-shy, and Levi asked himself how this was even possible. Then again, Erwin Smith was Erwin Smith, male superlative perfection, and he had always done strange things to Levi’s mind and body, even before they had met in real life, so maybe he was just imagining things, and even if he was, he didn’t care. Erwin was evidently super happy about Levi choosing to spend more time with him – and that, in turn, made Levi glad.

Excited. Joyous. It made him feel gratified.

“Thank you so much for all the tasty treats,” Erwin said, still smiling.

“Y-your welcome…”

“And I will do my very best not to get diabetes,” Erwin added, grinning a little.

Levi chuckled. “Well, I hope so.”

“Naw, you worried about me?” Erwin teased. “That’s so sweet. Pun intended.”

“Don’t be so cocky,” Levi countered, once again surprised how quickly he loosened up again, forgetting about his nervousness, “I just don’t want you to blame me once you’re miserable when you won’t be able to stuff your face with candy anymore.”

“I won’t,” Erwin retorted, tone amused, “I might cry a little – and then you’re gonna have to endure my ugly crying-face.”

“Ah, so you’re an ugly-crier?” Levi joked, not able to picture Erwin crying at all.

“I think _everybody_ is an ugly-crier,” the man responded, still grinning.

“…yeah, you might be true about that.”

“But _you’d_ cry a little too, then.”

“Uh-huh? And why would that be?” Levi picked up amused and interested.

“Because if I have diabetes, then I won’t be able to drink wine with you anymore. And that would be a shame, wouldn’t it? Cause I am really enjoying drinking wine with you and I think… you are too.”

Levi felt himself blush, the heat spreading across his cheeks. “Yeah,” he agreed, “that would be a shame. And yeah… drinking wine with you is… _okay_…” he finished grinning.

In truth, it was fantastic. Amazing. Marvellous. But teasing Erwin, it… It felt good, and right, and Levi knew that _Erwin_ knew the truth.

The blond laughed indeed. “I take what I can get,” he remarked, “so I’m good with _okay_. I’ll work hard to earn a _great_ next time,” he added, winking – and Levi shuddered, because it was so sexy and at the same absolutely adorable, and it made so many different things twist inside of his belly. He felt hot and cold at the same time, excited and frozen, relaxed and tense. 

Because all the interaction between them felt so good, and he felt comfortable around Erwin and the blond was already referring to their next meeting, talking about a possible future, hinting at the fact that he was okay with waiting, and…

The waitress came up with their wines, and both Erwin and Levi were confused when she also placed two fancy-looking blue shots at their table. “We only order wine,” Erwin remarked, and the waitress grinned.

“These are blueberry lemon shots, with the best regards from the ladies over there,” the red-haired explained, pointing over to the group of women who had been eying them up this whole time.

“Yeah, you can tell them we’re _gay as fuck_, but thankful nonetheless,” Levi deadpanned, staring at the group, each woman sporadically looking over to them, excitement written all over their faces, even if they were trying to hide it. And only then, when those words left his mouth and he noticed the waitress was frozen in place, he realized what he’d just said. “Oh, um…” he turned back – and then Erwin started laughing. And this beautiful, pure sound filled Levi’s whole mind. “I’m sorry…” Levi started muttering, smiling apologetically at the waitress, who couldn’t suppress a wide grin anymore.

“It’s true, though,” Erwin said and offered the lady a charming smile.

“Then I shall deliver these probably very disappointing news,” she remarked, still grinning, and Levi felt relieved the member of staff wasn’t truly shocked or anything by his blunt remark. Then again, he knew all the other people working here were open-minded and had a variety of guests coming in _because_ of that. It was only natural a new worker would be chosen who would fit in, have the right mind set and values. Levi’s words had probably just taken her off guard. 

Erwin was still chuckling when the woman left their table to serve the remaining drinks to the girls, and he saw Erwin raise his shot glass towards the group of women, giving them a cheeky smile and a nod as a means of saying thank you, before refocussing on Levi. “So, we gonna down that before the waitress spills our secret and the ladies might want those drinks back?” he asked, still grinning mischievously, causing Levi’s lips to twitch into a smirk, and another dose of happiness and excitement racing through his veins.

“I like your way of thinking,” he answered, taking his glass, clinking it with Erwin’s before ingesting the more sweet than sour alcohol.

“Tastes like shit,” Erwin concluded and made Levi laugh – because he was about to say exactly the same.

“You’ve been reading my mind! Though it’s funny that you love sweets but hate sweet alcohol.”

“Call me a walking, or rather a _drinking_ contradiction.”

They chuckled and then both risked a glance over to the other table, when they heard a loud female voice exclaim “the good one are always fucking gay!” – and then they laughed some more, meeting the amused and somewhat surprised, maybe even slightly embarrassed gazes of the four women. “Enjoy your date!” one of them yelled over to them.

“We are!” Erwin responded, before turning back to Levi. “At least, _I_ am…” he murmured – and Levi was sure his cheeks were on fucking fire, and his gaze drifted over to the big rose the other waitress had kindly put into a small vase with water and placed on their table.

“…me too,” he then responded, taking another sip of his wine.

“You actually got any living family left in Poland?” Erwin suddenly asked him, changing the topic.

Levi, in fact, had none. Or rather he didn’t keep in touch with the distant relatives of Kenny and his mother. Kenny probably still wrote to their family, maybe even visited, but the raven wasn’t sure. Because he also didn’t keep in touch with Levi. Kuchel’s cousin, Danuta, Levi’s self-proclaimed aunt, had left Germany for the USA with her boyfriend ages ago. She sometimes sent Levi Christmas cards, and had sent him money when he had still went to school, but that was about it.

“And what about you? Any brothers or sisters?” the raven asked Erwin, who shook his head. 

“Just like you I am an only child.”

“Got any relatives around?”

Erwin shook his head once again. “No, those who are still alive all live in the South of the country and… we don’t really keep in touch. Funny thing: I also have an aunt who is the only one speaking to me, and she lives far away, too. In Australia. She’s the only one who is totally okay with what I do for a living and sometimes even brags at parties that her nephew is well-known porn star,” he explained, laughing, infecting Levi with that happy sound.

“That’s something,” the raven said, smiling, and Levi nodded, feeling the effect of the alcohol that started to make his head feel fuzzy and intensified the exhaustion of the journey – also caused by the lack of proper sleep because Hange and him had celebrated their last night in Poland a little bit too heavily with Polish vodka…

And he couldn’t believe they had already finished their wine – he was sure both of them had been drinking rather slowly. How the fuck had time passed so quickly? 

Levi couldn’t suppress a yawn, and when he looked at Erwin, apologizing, the blond man just smiled gently. “I’m the one who should be sorry,” the blond said, “instead of letting you rest I made you go out drinking. You must be exhausted. I’ll tell the waitress to get us a cab, okay?”

Levi nodded, yawning again, watching Erwin walk through the bar, not able to not look at his perfect, round, firm ass and the broad shoulders. He shuddered, and when Erwin turned around and walked back, Levi couldn’t stop staring at the man’s pectorals – and his big crotch.

Erwin smirked. “I like how you’re shamelessly checking me out…” he remarked.

And as much as Levi wanted to reply sharply, say something witty, teasing Erwin a little, his brain disappointed him. For it left him with… nothing. He just rolled his eyes, grinning, and grabbed his bag. Then he got his wallet out.

“I already paid,” Erwin informed him and Levi blinked.

“But I invited you,” he countered.

Erwin shrugged. “I’m the one who practically kidnapped you…”

The raven scoffed, putting his money back into the back pocket of his jeans. “Fine, then I’m paying next time.”

“But not on Friday. I asked you out for dinner, so I am paying.”

“Fine, then the time after that or whatever…” and when those words left Levi’s lips, he realized what he had done: he had given Erwin a signal that eating dinner wouldn’t be the last time for them both to actually go out. 

And…

_And was that bad?_ he asked himself.

And his brain, his heart, every fibre of his being told him: no. No, it wasn’t. As did Erwin’s mind-blowing, beautiful smile gracing his lips as they got up and went outside to wait for the cab, inhaling the fresh night air. Well, as fresh as it could get inside the city.

“So,” Erwin said, as they came to a halt in front of the bar, traffic low at this time as it was a work day, “you think you can get your phone repaired?”

Levi sighed, remembering his disaster foot bath. “I don’t know, I hope so, I really liked it and I hadn’t moved all my pictures to my SD card yet…” he replied, another grin slowly making its way onto his face as he stepped on a particular train of thoughts which he was about to voice, “like your cleaning selfies…” he finished the sentence, and this remark had Erwin chuckling. Then, Levi continued: “I really hope I can get it fixed tomorrow and receive them when I start it up and log on to all the messengers. It would be a shame not to have them…”

“My fingers are crossed,” answered Erwin, actually _really_ crossing his fingers, physically, making Levi grin – because, yet again, this was somehow adorable, “but I can always resend them, you know…” the man added, his tone quieter and his voice… suddenly sultry. Levi swallowed thickly, thinking of the pictures he had deleted from Hange’s phone with a heavy heart. And then a pleasant shiver ran down his spine, as Erwin added in that same wanton tone: “…I could also just take new ones for you…”

And then Levi lost control over the conversation, his dick taking over, yet again. “Can I make requests?” he enquired.

“I thought you _liked_ seeing me clean…” Erwin objected, feigning shock and being appalled.

“I do,” Levi agreed, flashing Erwin a lascivious smile, “but I also like you stroking your wet dick in your bed, or posing with your hard-on on a field or your balcony, wearing only sunglasses…”

Erwin’s grin widened. “I _do_ get that… I also enjoyed you posing naked on the beach…” he said, looking Levi deep into the eyes, making the raven’s pulse quicken, “but it’s unfair if only _you_ are the one receiving private content of this sort…”

“Are you asking me for nudes, old man?”

“Oh my, am I that obvious?” Erwin once more faked being surprised, which made Levi chuckle.

“Sure, I can send you some too,” Levi mumbled, “maybe some more from under the shower. After all, that was your favourite… right?”

“Hell yeah…” Erwin practically growled, standing so close to Levi their arms were touching, and Levi swore he felt utter heat radiating from Erwin’s skin. “You know what I also tremendously enjoyed?” the man suddenly asked, and Levi had to swallow, as his throat had grown impossibly dry.

“…what?” he heard himself breathe out.

“That video of you fucking yourself on that big suction cup dildo stuck to the wall you were advertising some while ago on your channel…” Erwin murmured, and ah, Levi knew _exactly_ what kinky clip and dildo Erwin was talking about: the Stallion D6 made by _Love Factory_ out of body-safe silicone. It was their latest and longest model, formed after the real deal, slightly curved with extra thick veins promising you the solo-fuck of a lifetime – and it truly _did_ keep that promise, Levi found. He had a contract with the company and would post about their products when required.

“…I really recommend the product…” Levi answered, his tone but a scabrous murmur. 

“It surely looked like that…” Erwin answered in a similar tone, which made all the hairs on his arms stand up. 

And then Levi – of fucking course – blurted out another thought: “I also highly recommend the dildo shaped after your cock…”

There were a few seconds of silence, before Erwin began to chuckle. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I-it definitely was supposed to be one…”

“…so you… _own_ it then, I suppose? Did you… did you buy it in Gdańsk?” Erwin enquired, and the beating of Levi’s heart sped up tremendously, his thoughts going back to the moment he was so pissed off at the blond, so hurt and had thrown that thing away along with the posters…

“Um, I… I got a new one… in Poland. Yes…”

“…a-and… did you try it out?”

Heat was filling Levi up from the inside, arousal pooling in his belly and starting to spread. “…I only had… I, um… I only had _one_ chance to jerk off last week… Actually… actually right after I took your favourite photo… in the shower…”

“Fuck…” Erwin groaned and chuckled, “now… now I like it even more…” the man then confessed. And, seriously: all that Levi wanted to do right now was to grab that huge bastard and shove his tongue into Erwin’s mouth and later into his—

“Ah, the cab’s coming,” the blond remarked, stopping Levi’s train of thoughts and making him literally sober up a bit.

The presence of the driver, a stranger, who could hear every word spoken in the back, caused them to ultimately drop the subject. And maybe… Maybe this was for the best, Levi thought. Because he had just about sabotaged himself, almost throwing his body against Erwin’s, the plan of dragging the man into his apartment and into his bed _nearly_ set into motion.

But now, as the vehicle was moving through the night, and their conversation had ceased and Levi’s arousal started to retract, the raven-haired was beginning to think clearly again, realising that he wasn’t in the best condition to make this kind of move. 

He was tired from the journey, still hungover from their departure-party last night, slightly intoxicated anew by the wine he’d shared with Erwin and… and… And what if he was shit in bed because of all of this, and Erwin would be fucking disappointed? And even more importantly: What if he awoke the next morning, realising he hadn’t been ready yet to… to do what actually? 

Did sleeping with Erwin automatically mean they’d be together? Or would this be just a one-night stand? Erwin clearly said he had fallen for Levi and… and that he wanted him to be his boyfriend, right? But what if—

The car coming to a stop and the driver exiting to get Levi’s bag out of the trunk startled and catapulted Levi back into reality. He raised his head and looked over to Erwin who was, yet again, smiling gently at him. “Thank you for tonight,” the man said – evidently not expecting Levi in any way to further prolong their night, to invite him over, and he was obviously not intending to push for this himself but waiting for Levi to leave so the driver could take him to his own place afterwards. “And thanks for the marvellous sweets. I’m definitely gonna have a midnight snack,” Erwin added, and Levi swore the man’s gorgeous smile intensified.

“I’m glad you like’em,” Levi responded, unbuckling, staring at the driver’s seat in front of him, leaning towards the door next in order to get out – and then he hesitated.

Because even if he didn’t want to take things further tonight, a huge part of him wanted to at least _touch_ Erwin somehow. And now, knowing each other, both obviously interested in a relationship that involved _more_ than just friendship, it would be even be awkward if Levi _didn’t_ at least _hug_ Erwin as a means of saying goodbye.

Right?

RIGHT?

Once more, Levi called upon every fibre of his body, drew energy from all of his resources and spun around, leaning across the gap in the middle of the back seat, his lips aiming for Erwin’s cheek to give the man a very quick, little peck like he did with some of his co-workers anyway with whom he was on friendly terms.

Only his lips missed their target.

Because Erwin, probably surprised by Levi’s sudden movement, decided to move at the very same time, turning to his side to look at Levi. And thus, Levi’s mouth did _not_ press into the soft flesh of Erwin Smith’s cheek – but landed right on the man’s _mouth_.

This kiss, or whatever one should’ve called the clumsy and unintended collision, lasted merely for a second, the voices inside of Levi’s head all screaming at once for him to fucking, _kurwa_ move away – even if some part of his being roared from somewhere deep within the raven to _kurwa_ continue and shove his tongue inside of that beautiful, greedy mouth and—

“_GoodnightErwintakecarethanksfortonight_,” Levi blurted out before fleeing the cab of doom – leaving a slightly confused looking Erwin behind – grabbing his bag, shoving some money into the driver’s hand and racing up the stairs to his apartment, to lean against the entrance door with a pounding heart and ragged breath and confused feelings raging inside of his chest – and he couldn’t stop thinking about the softness of Erwin’s lips against his, and how surprised but pliant the blond had been, and he couldn’t get the smell of Erwin’s cologne mixed with the man’s natural scent out of his nose, even if he had only caught a short whiff of it the moment he’d been so close to Erwin and…

And he kind of regretted not having deepened the kiss.  
And he kind of regretted not having asked Erwin to come up with him.  
And he kind of…

No.

No, he didn’t.

He had told himself to fucking wait, and be rational, and not to decide his - _their_ \- next steps in the spur of the moment, but clear-headed and sober. He needed to fucking sleep. Well, to jerk off and _then_ sleep…

But there was something bugging him, he realised after he had come and cleaned up and was lying in his bed, suddenly restless, going over the evening in his mind. Over and over again. Replaying each and every single moment stuck in his head. 

It all… 

It all had been…

It had all been… rather… _sexual. _

Hadn’t it?

It had been sexual during his time in Poland between them, and it had been sexual just now.

_Hadn’t it? _

And of course, one could argue, that it was only natural for it to be sexual, because this was their line of work and they had basically met through having to have sex with each other. But… But what if… 

What if Erwin was only interested in the physical aspect with Levi?

What if he only wanted to have sex with him once, maybe twice, in private? And then he’d get bored and move on, and Levi would be devastated, and what if… What if Erwin didn’t even _like_ their sex as a couple, lovers, whatever? Because sex in front of the camera and sex at home were two completely different things. What if… What if…?!

“Kurwa!” Levi cursed, because he was totally losing his mind and there was fucking nothing he could do, and no fucking way he could fall asleep now.

He jumped out of bed and rummaged through one of his drawers in the living room where he found his emergency mobile phone. An older model, without internet access, one that he had kept for years for situations like these: when his main device was broken and he desperately needed one. 

Levi prayed to the gods that his SIM-card was still functioning, and breathed out in relief when he found out that it still did. Then, he held his breath as he was praying one more time for this old piece of shit to be able to read the data on his SIM-card and grant him access to Erwin’s number. And yet again, Levi was able to breathe out relieved, because this was _also_ the case.

His hands trembled slightly when he finally began to type the old school text message to Erwin, asking the blond what he had asked himself.

_“Erwin, I had a really great time with you today and I’m texting you from an old phone of mine, in case you’re wondering. Important question: Is this all about sex? I mean, is this only physical attraction between us? I had a feeling that our conversations kept coming back to just that, and that sex and nudes and whatever were the focus. Am I right? Do you only want to have sex with me? Please be honest with me.” _

And then Levi waited. And waited, and waited. 

But he got no response. 

And he felt _terrible. _

So terrible, he was plagues by nightmares only when he finally fell asleep after a few shots of vodka. And when he awoke, he felt even worse than before. His head was pounding and his throat was dry. And when he took a look at his ancient phone – his pulse quickened.

He had five missed calls.

_And they were all from Erwin. _

The man had also sent him a few messages. And once more Levi’s hands trembled when he grabbed the phone and stared at the screen.

_“Hey Levi, I’m so sorry – I was already asleep when you texted me! And I guess now you are the one who is sleeping. Please call me when you see this. And to answer your question: NO! No, this isn’t just about me wanting to have with sex with you! I want to get to know you, like I already told you. I want to spend time with you, watch movies with you, go to dinner with you. Because I really like you. Of course, I can’t deny that there IS a strong sexual tension or connection on an erotic level between us, and to be honest (I told you I’d be honest) a big part of me can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you – without other people present, without cameras, without this being just work.” _

…and if Levi had to be honest: some part of him couldn’t stop thinking about it either. And Erwin had made a very substantial point. Because yes, they had already _fucked_. But they hadn’t made _love_. Because – just as Levi had already thought of shortly the day before – sex on set was truly different from sex in private. Because sex on set, in front of the camera, was, as Erwin had correctly put it, nothing but _work_. 

Okay: Naturally, there _was_ physical pleasure involved, because this is how biology worked: If you touched a dick, it reacted, so to say. But the partners with whom Levi had sex – _worked with_ – were nothing but that: co-workers. Yet people whom he had sex with in private… _weren’t_. And sex without cameras and staff members running around, and without the goal to make the whole _act_ look good and arouse viewers was… something completely different. It was another lever. Another league. Another dimension. 

So yes, he had worked with Erwin, and they had seen everything about each other’s bodies that there was to see. But they hadn’t _slept_ together yet. And maybe this was also the reason why Levi continued to be so nervous around Erwin. Because it didn’t matter that he had ‘been’ with so many confident men – letting them top him on set had only been but a task to complete, and he considered himself to be bad at flirting, even worse in having relationships. He lacked experience in those fields. And considering Erwin Smith was the crush of his life, didn’t make it any easier. Even now, after knowing what Erwin’s true goals were. But, if Levi had to be honest again, reading Erwin’s words, his repetition of his motives and feelings, really helped him right now to calm the fuck down again.

_“Having sex with you isn’t my focus – for me this would just be a special and naturally big part of our relationship. My ultimate goal is to be your boyfriend. I want the whole package.” _

“Fuck…” Levi muttered, not able to sink back into the bed and smile like an idiot.

_“And yes, we did make a lot of sexual remarks, but I believe we had a really nice conversation about many things going on, too. Your holiday, our families, before that about Polish foods while you were on holiday and were texting each other… So don’t say this was all about sex. Because it wasn’t, and it isn’t. I am interested in your body, true. But I am more interested in you as a person. Because, without meaning to sound vain, but if I only wanted to have sex with a well-built man, I would have a thousand options, and so would you, considering how big our fan bases are... Back to us: let’s do something during daytime. No bar, no dinner, no alcohol. Something innocent and we won’t talk about anything that has to do with sex or filming. Okay? How about we go play miniature golf? I can’t think of anything more innocent than that, surrounded by families and kids. What do you say? Call me.” _

Levi chuckled. Playing miniature golf was indeed innocent as fuck. He sighed. And it was a contented sound leaving his relaxed mouth. However, Levi did not remain in this state, because as he began dialling Erwin’s number, once more, clumsy nervousness took over his body, and his heart started to race in his chest. 

The blond picked up after the first ring. As if Erwin had been waiting for Levi to call him. “Hey! Good morning. Did you read my texts?” He sounded a bit frantic, concerned even – and Levi instantly felt bad. Because, it hit in like a bomb: Erwin was right and Levi had probably overreacted – their conversations _hadn’t_ just been about sex, and if Erwin was really looking only for a hook-up, he had a variety of willing men to choose from; and he wouldn’t have posted that big-ass bold statement all the people viewed as a love-confession to the raven. Levi was an idiot.

“Good morning,” he breathed into the phone, sighing, “look: I’m sorry. I think I—“

“No, it’s fine Levi,” Erwin immediately interjected, sounding gentle. “I’m glad you contacted me and thank you for being honest. After our big misunderstanding I really don’t want things between us to remain unspoken. We need to communicate with each other to make this work, and… and I really want this to work.”

Levi needed a moment to catch his breath. Because, holy shit, Erwin was… Erwin was… _he was just so freaking wonderful_.

“Yeah…” Levi muttered, swallowing a lump in his throat, “m-me too.”

“So what do you think about my idea? Or is this too dumb?”

“No!” Levi immediately protested, rolling his eyes because he had practically screamed out his protest. “No,” he repeated a bit calmer, “let’s do this.”

“Okay, cool! When?”

“…today? Um, I have to get my phone to the repair shop and I’m having my STDs test at midday, and after that I’m free. I m-mean: if you haven’t planned anything, we could do it then...”

“I’m free,” Erwin said, and Levi swore he could hear the smile on the man’s face, “I’ll look up a suitable place near the lab, how does that sound?”

“Perfect.”

“Okay, I’ll text you the address later.”

“Perfect.”

His heart still hadn’t calmed down when he called his manager next – and Hange wanted to know every little detail, screeching and laughing loudly at the end when Levi told them what kind of date Erwin and him were going on later. “This is so fucking adorable, you two are horrific dorks and I hope you are aware of this!” they mocked him, and Levi scoffed.

“Remember: _you_ are the one who praised me that I didn’t just jump right into the relationship with Erwin…”

“Indeed, I did, and I am sticking to my words: I am proud of you. You go and test that bastard a little bit more before you decide to give it a go.”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

“…though I must confess: when he turned up with that rose yesterday… even _my_ knees buckled…”

Levi sighed, his gaze wandering over to said flower resting in the only vase he owned on his nightstand. “Yeah… I know what you mean.”

“He’s really trying, isn’t he?” Hange sounded soft.

Levi sighed again, smiling. “Yeah… he is.”

“Unreal.”

“…yep… definitely still feels unreal.”

It was real, however.

Erwin’s smile was real when Levi approached him later that early afternoon. Their greeting-hug was real – and this time Levi’s lips didn’t miss their target; and Erwin’s soft mouth touching his face was real too. And it felt wonderful. It was real that they argued a little over who gets to pay the entrance fee and the young woman selling the tickets and giving out the equipment laughed at them in a smitten way. 

It was real.

All of it.

Levi really felt that Erwin wasn’t just interested in sex with him. He felt their connection instantly. How easily they fell into conversation, both remembering their last time on a miniature golf track. Levi had actually played only once on his life, when a girl at school had invited all of the class to go and Kenny was pissed because her stupid parents required the parents of each pupil to pay the entrance fee, and Levi’s uncle was an asshole and had tried insisting on Kuchel just not letting Levi go. But his mother, thank fuck, hadn’t listened. 

“What about you?” Levi then asked Erwin, and the man smiled. It turned out that he had been here with Mike and the man’s son. “Wait, what?” Levi nearly choked on his spit. “Mike Zacharias has a _son_?!”

Erwin nodded and hesitantly said: “Yeah…”

“Who the fuck is his _mother_?”

“…his former girlfriend Nanaba.”

Levi nearly dropped his golf club. “W-w-wait, what the fuck are you saying? Are we talking about the same Mike? The _gay porn star Mike_?”

Erwin laughed, a bit shyly or uncomfortable. “Um, s-sorry, we didn’t actually want to talk about sex or work…”

“This isn’t work!” Levi protested. “Come on, old man! You need to tell me now!”

The blond sighed. “But only if you promise me not to complain we talked about sex again. Or rather, sex and work related stuff.”

“I promise. Now spill it, blondie!”

Erwin grinned. “Okay, okay. Mike is bisexual, though he definitely now prefers men. But right after school he was still together with Nanaba and, well, she fell pregnant. They tried to make it work, but they were only 18 and not really ready for a happy family, and Mike didn’t really know which gender he liked more and he wanted to gain more experience with men. So they split when Armin was three years old, actually just right after Mike had gotten into the porn industry. Nanaba couldn’t really take it, but now that she’s older and more mature she’s come to terms with it and they keep in touch and even share custody.”

“Wow, I did not know that…! That’s… that’s huge.”

“It’s not really a secret, but also not something Mike talks about very often. He likes to keep private things private and, let’s be honest: the people out there are more interested in his cock than his life story.”

Levi chuckled, but Erwin looked a bit terrified. “Wh-what is it?” Levi enquired, and Erwin looked down onto the floor.

“I… I really don’t want to talk about sex and make you feel… the way you felt yesterday.”

And Levi’s chest constricted – in a good way. In a wonderful way. And he blurted it out again: “You really are sweet, you know that?” And he felt reminded of the way Erwin had talked to him during their first shoot in the penthouse… and how wonderful it had made him feel.

And the man now looked at him and smiled. And it was overwhelming. “I’m still gonna kick your ass today and I won’t feel sorry about _that_”, Erwin suddenly said, a grin replacing that gorgeous smile on his handsome face, and Levi felt giddy once again.

“Ha! We’ll see about that,” he countered, a smug grin appearing on his mouth.

…and he really couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun with a person other than Hange.

They laughed a lot, teasing each other about their non-existent minigolf-skills, they shouted and screamed, they talked. About everything and nothing – and definitely not about sex. Levi told Erwin a little bit more about Poland and Polish dishes and how he had always enjoyed visiting the country with his mother when his grandparents had still been alive. Erwin told him about the trips to the forest he had made with his father, how they had gone bird watching and hiking and how much he actually loved nature – something Levi hadn’t known before. 

“Maybe we can go on a hike someday,” the raven heard himself say. 

“…that would be awesome!” Erwin nearly cheered – and it unleashed a herd of butterflies in his tummy.

Both of them got really competitive – and in the end Levi won, making Erwin laugh at himself. “I knew I was bad at minigolf,” he concluded highly amused, “but I had no idea I was _this_ bad!”

“So, what’s my prize?” Levi asked, as they were walking back to the booth to return their equipment, the sun still shining wonderfully and no cloud at sight at the horizon.

“Well, you get _me_…” Erwin remarked, grinning a little, making Levi’s heart almost jump out of his chest, “but, um, you already know that. And, more importantly: you get to choose what we do next. If you still got some time to spare.”

Levi was blushing so heavily, he couldn’t look the blond man in the eyes. “I, um, y-yeah, I’m free, still, so, um, yeah. I know where I’ll take you. For a consolation prize…” He cleared his throat, and off they went.

…and Erwin loved it. The ice cream parlour Levi took him to – insisting on paying this time, which Erwin generously allowed.

“God, this is so good…” Erwin hummed in between devouring his huge pile of various flavours.

“I know, right? It Hange’s favourite place,” he replied licking up his scoop of After Eight mint ice cream, the only flavour he really liked. For Erwin, of course, it wasn’t sweet enough… He had chosen cookies and cream, vanilla with chocolate chips and whatnot… _and Levi found it adorable_. Especially after he found out that Erwin had kind of inherited this sweet tooth from his father, who loved eating sweets and always baked wonderful things for his son on Sundays which they ate up together while watching cartoons.

They talked some more, took a stroll around the park, sat down by the river, and Levi got to know Erwin had always wanted to have a dog but didn’t really have the time. Levi found dogs disgusting and preferred cats, and they both play-argued a little over which pet was better, going for the compromise of a parrot. Because Levi loved the fact they were able to fly and intelligent – and Erwin found them funny.

And then they needed to part ways. Because Levi needed to pick up his phone – his shop had actually managed to repair it – and Hange had texted him about wanting to discuss some stuff with him.

“I had a lovely day with you, Levi,” Erwin told him, smiling gently and Levi reciprocated the smile.

“Me, too, Erwin…” he mumbled.

“Um… the weather is supposed to be so nice the whole week. If… If you don’t have anything planned for tomorrow, maybe we can go on a row boat up, take a trip the river? It’s real fun,” the blond suggested carefully – and it made Levi’s heart ache.

“I’d really love to, but… I have a shoot tomorrow,” he said, smiling apologetically. And he truly wished he hadn’t.

“Oh,” Erwin responded, “I didn’t know that. What a pity.”

“I’m sorry…” Levi muttered, and then his heart started beating heavily in his chest, when Erwin stepped even closer, closing the last remaining distance between them, bending down, placing a gentle kiss onto his cheek.

“Don’t worry about it,” the blond murmured and smiled. “Then I’ll see you on Friday?”

“Yes… yes, of course.”

“You want me to pick you up?”

“N-no, don’t worry, Hange is gonna drop me off at the restaurant.”

“Perfect,” said Erwin, offering another one of his gorgeous smiles that made Levi’s knees buckle

They continued to buckle whenever Levi thought back to their moments spent together for the rest of the day, and his whole form quivered when he booted his repaired phone – and the pictures Erwin had sent him while he was still in Poland plopped up. Those very hot and steamy cleaning nudes that made Levi’s groin stir immediately… and…

He was so distracted with contemplating how to proceed with Erwin, he didn’t really listen to Hange, which would have made them furious, if they didn’t know what kind of situation Levi was in and how much it meant to the raven. “So, the day after tomorrow you’re going for dinner?” they enquired, tossing her tablet aside, giving up on talking to Levi about a possible photoshoot job for a new website selling sex toys. That could wait until after Friday, they said.

“Yeah. He’s taking me to an Italian place.”

“Fancy.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Hange sighed, grinning at Levi. “You are so in love.”

“Yes.” There was no point denying it.

“And… have you figured out whether you _trust_ Erwin yet?”

Levi swallowed, going over each and everything that had happened after their talk in the rented home, in the middle of the horrific shooting, his tears just barely dried. Erwin’s statement, the way they had kept in touch during his holiday, how the man had picked him up from the airport with the rose in his hand, what the blond had said to him about his feelings, their minigolf game… he thought about everything – and a very comfortable warmth, a _wonderful_ warmth, started to spread inside of his chest.

“I am _beginning_ to trust him…” he then answered.

And this feeling still persisted when he woke up. And it was difficult for him to focus on the shoot, to get it up, and the director kept rolling his eyes at him. In the end, he somehow managed to top his co-star, fuck him hard, and the orgasm he experienced in the form of a traditional cumshot, lacing Jesse Maguire’s pretty face with his obnoxious seed, was pretty decent.

And when he got home and took a proper bath, texting Erwin and asking him how his day went and received a photo of (a very dressed!) Erwin, munching on the sweets he had received from the raven, this feeling grew even more intense.

And when Levi woke up the next morning, the morning of their date, the feeling still hadn’t subsided. Actually, it had intensified, and he was already feeling on edge even though their meeting was hours away. And when he looked at his phone and opened up another selfie of Erwin, his heart started beating so fast he nearly fell out of bed.

It wasn’t a lewd picture. Though Erwin definitely was shirtless; lying in bed, his hair all messed up, head pressed sideways into the pillow, smiling beautifully into the camera, telling Levi that he’d just dreamed about Levi showing up with a parrot to their date and it had been the funniest thing ever – and that he couldn’t wait to see him again tonight and already had a good idea what dishes he would recommend to Levi and what wine to choose for them.

This was the moment something inside of Levi crumbled – because a very important realisation hit in.

The realisation that he hadn’t _started_ to trust Erwin – he was already _in the middle of_ it. 

He _trusted_ Erwin. _Full stop_.

Maybe it was dumb and naïve and… And actually Levi didn’t give a shit.

He didn’t want to hold back anymore.

“We need to talk,” he texted the man as he jumped under the shower.

When he jumped out to dry himself, he already had an answer waiting for him. “What’s wrong?” There was a worried emoticon attached to the message. “Is everything okay?”

“Can I come over?” is all Levi managed to write, because if he started to type anything else, anything more specific, he would spill the beans. And he firmly believed that was something to be handled face-to-face.

Erwin sent him the required data. “I’m home so you can come anytime.”

“I’m on my way,” Levi informed the blond just ten minutes later as he got into his car. Because fuck breakfast.

Erwin didn’t live too far away, but traffic in the middle of the day was a bitch, and Levi asked himself whether the summer holidays had come to an end and all the families that had left were now coming back. He cursed the whole ride through and was so relieved and glad when he finally reached his destination and searching for a parking space only took him ten minutes. 

He found Erwin’s building fairly quickly, and his heart starting racing once more inside of his chest when he found the name Smith on the door bell plate; it started pounding even louder as he pressed it and heard a short conformational sound. Then he heard the intercom activate. “Sixth floor,” Erwin told him, before letting him in, and Levi was glad there was an elevator he could use. 

The ride was hell, his nervousness taking on levels he hadn’t known yet, his throat going tight as he walked down the corridor towards the door opening – and sure as fuck, it was Erwin’s. 

The man was wearing a white tank top and light blue jeans and he was barefoot and he looked… Erwin looked… 

Erwin’s facial expression was grim when he let Levi step inside – and the raven’s heart dropped. “…hey…?” he greeted Erwin after the blond had closed the door, and when the man looked at him, he didn’t even smile and…

_And what the fuck was going on?! _

“Hey,” Erwin answered. His tone… grim. Strained. Dark. And his blue eyes… they were kind of… Erwin’s eyes were kind of _dead_. Not shiny and clear like Levi knew them to be. 

And that made Levi fear for the worst. Because… had Erwin changed his mind? Because… Because Levi hadn’t gone on that row boat with him? Or had he talked to someone? Had he maybe reconsidered everything that had happened between them? And…

“…wh… what’s going on?” he heard himself ask Erwin, whose gaze shifted, eyes locking onto the floor. And what Erwin then said, nearly knocked Levi off his feet.

“My mum died this morning. I just got the call.”

…

Levi’s brain hadn’t yet woken up completely and it took quite a few seconds for the cogs to finally start turning and translating this message. 

And then it crashed through Levi’s mind and went right to his heart, making his chest ache. “Fuck…” it poured out of his mouth. “Fuck,” he repeated, as if this was the only word he knew. “Fuck! Erwin… I—“

He wanted to tell him how sorry he was, but the blond giant cut him off in that stern voice of his. “Just get it over with,” he said, and Levi was taken aback and didn’t know how to react, didn’t know what Erwin meant. 

“D-do you want me t-to… leave?” the raven asked, his voice faint and uncertain, and he was freaking _panicking_. “Or d-do you need me to, um, d-drive you anywhere? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just get it fucking over with, Levi,” Erwin growled and glared at him. 

“W-w-what the hell does that even mean?!” Levi snapped back without meaning to. But he was confused, touched, shocked, nervous, tense.

Erwin sighed and walked down the corridor, and Levi, as fucking irritated as he was, followed him into the living room, watching Erwin practically throw himself onto the couch, his big arms crossing in front of his chest, not looking at Levi.

“You said you needed to talk to me and it was obviously urgent. I assume this is the point where you tell me that you won’t be going out with me tonight because you changed your mind or some bullshit. Am I right?” he practically snarled.

And Levi…

He…

The raven once more needed a few seconds to digest what Erwin was saying – and even if he knew he shouldn’t, knew that Erwin was in a state of mind he wished for nobody to be in, knew from his own experience that it fucked with your head and made you act irrational, he couldn’t control it. He got angry. Maybe because he hadn’t had breakfast yet and he had been feeling on edge anyhow.

“No, _you fucking idiot_!” he literally _screamed_ at Erwin, even making the man flinch and raise his gaze to meet Levi’s eyes formed into slits. “You seriously have a problem, dude, and we definitely need to work on our stupid communication!” he roared. “I fucking came here to tell you that I’m in fucking love with you, and that I want to be your boyfriend, because I trust you and I’m done with making us both fucking wait, kurwa mać! How could you possibly assume this bullshit after how well our last date went, huh? You daft fuck!”

Levi was shaking when he was done, stomping over to the couch and pushing his body onto it, right next to Erwin – who was shaking as well. The grim expression wiped off his face and replaced by… _something fragile_. His eyes were glassy, his mouth parted and his bottom lip was quivering. “…are…” he started, but his voice broke off and he needed to swallow. Levi watched his larynx bob, then shifted his gaze back up so that he could look into Erwin’s wide eyes again. “…are… are you…”

“Yes,” Levi said, “I’m sure, I’m telling the truth, I’m in love with you and I’m going to stay with you today, if you need me to. And I’m sorry about your mother, Erwin… I really am, and just tell me what to do to make you feel better, and I’ll do it…”

The man swallowed again, and Levi’s heart was still hammering wickedly in his chest. “..Re… Remember wh-when… I-I told you…” Erwin started mumbling with a broken voice after a few seconds of silence, his face already contorting and the first tears gathering in his eyes, “th-that I ugly-cry…?”

“…yeah…”

“Well… I think…” Erwin muttered, his voice even weaker now, “I think… I’m about to do just… that…”

Levi smiled softly. “You already _are_, Erwin…” he told him ever so softly and then held out both of his arms invitingly – and just a second later a loud sob escaped Erwin’s throat and the man threw himself into Levi’s embrace, those big, toned arms wrapping themselves around the raven’s way smaller form, overthrowing Levi and making his back meet the upholstery, Erwin’s head pushing against his throat while his fingers dug into his shoulders as Levi started stroking the blond hair, the blond man’s whole body now resting atop of Levi. “It’s all right…” the dark-haired whispered, continuing to gently stroke Erwin while the man cried and wet Levi’s t-shirt with his salty tears, sobbing and sniffling and grunting.

And as much as it should have disgusted Levi, it made him feel… It made him feel happy. He wasn’t happy about the fact Erwin’s mother had died, no. But he was glad he was holding the blond man now, comforting him, and that Erwin accepted his help. Accepted him. 

It was an intimate moment. An intense moment. And after a few minutes had passed, and Erwin’s hard crying had started to grow softer, his whole of the mourning energy almost spent… something utterly embarrassing happened.

Levi’s stomach… it _rumbled_.

And not in a normal way.

It was a sound that could have been taken right out of a very, very bad horror movie, stemming from aliens or supernatural beings, like a freaking werewolf that had been threatened but also wounded, or rather a werecat hissing as if it was fighting for its life; and it lasted so freaking long, it nearly scared Levi and he totally tensed up. As did Erwin. And then… And then…

And then Erwin started fucking _laughing_. 

And this sound, so pure and sincere and… and kinda _happy_, it… it was contagious, making the corners of Levi’s lips pull up into a smile first – and then he couldn’t hold it in any longer, joining in, filing the room with his laughter as well, both of their bodies shaking; and Levi was sure this wasn’t only about this horrific and somewhat disgusting growling, but also because all of the tension was flowing out of their bodies, as happiness started to take over, the circumstances of their new situation sinking in.

After a while Erwin finally moved, raising his head, looking into Levi’s eyes, and the latter couldn’t stop his hand from moving, wiping away some of the tears from Erwin’s cheek with his thumb.

“I know I’m disgusting right now,” Erwin mumbled, smiling lightly, his lips still wet from the tears that had streaked down his face, “but… but can I kiss you, Levi?”

Levi didn’t answer. At least not verbally. His hand moved back into Erwin’s blond strands and he pulled him into a soft and gentle and chaste kiss that was so intense nonetheless that it made goosebumps erupt all over his skin. Because this kiss meant so much. Didn’t it?

Erwin leaned his forehead against Levi’s after, closing his eyes, sighing relieved. “I’m so happy right now… I mean, I’m kinda shocked and sad about my mum… but I’m also… _so happy_…” he murmured and Levi continued to stroke his head gently.

“Me too…” he breathed, pushing his lips once more against Erwin’s – and then his stomach reminded both of the men, yet again, about not having been stuffed yet; and this rumbling sound was almost as bad as the very first, making Erwin crack up again.

And as much as Levi was ashamed – he was also grateful his body was producing such obscure sounds. Because they made his _boyfriend_ laugh, they distracted him, they made him feel better.

Because Erwin was his boyfriend now.

…right?

RIGHT?

Technically no one of them had asked _the question_, right?

“Um…” Levi heard himself utter and Erwin looked into his eyes, still lying on top of him, the giant warm body feeling so beautiful, “so… you and me…? Huh?”

Erwin grinned. “Oh yeah,” he then said, clearing his throat. “Do you, um… do you want me to ask you out? _Again_?”

“…yeah…” Levi answered, shrugging – while also blushing like a freaking fresh tomato.

Erwin smiled – and he kissed Levi again, and a thousand fireworks set of inside of the raven as he felt those soft lips sink down onto his mouth again, Erwin’s arms pressing his body further against his. “Will you go out with me?” the man breathed against Levi’s lips – and in that moment his stomach growled again, shorter this time, making Erwin chuckled nonetheless, and he added: “…for breakfast?” making Levi roll his eyes and laugh.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “For breakfast – and anything else.”

“…thank you…” Erwin whispered and pressed their foreheads back together. “I’m in love with you, too…”

And Levi’s stomach rumbled again. And hearing Erwin laugh, despite the sad news he had received – it was the most wonderful sound Levi had ever heard.

And…

AND ERWIN FUCKING SMITH WAS HIS BOYFRIEND NOW!

And that was, kurwa, _fucking great_.


	10. Black Hole, part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers,
> 
> I am back. Or rather: the porn stars are back! 
> 
> Some of you who are reading my dark fanfic "Guilt" feel the same way I do rigt now - I am in a desperate need for SWEET and FLUFFY things. This is why this chapter is way softer than I had initially planned it... but especially you "Guilt"-readers will probably understand and won't mind that after all this heavy and dark content; at least I hope that... :-D
> 
> Some beautiful stuff from the last chapters to look at for all of you:
> 
> D'oki captured Erwin's emotional breakdown sooooo well! This is so stunning and beautiful:  
https://twitter.com/Eruvin_Smisu/status/1188968033362075649?s=20
> 
> And Saurynn has drawn the airport-rose scene so amazingly...!  
https://twitter.com/saurynn/status/1189234597097283592?s=20
> 
> Please check out the rest of their stunning art!!!!
> 
> And if you want to follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SummoningIsis
> 
> I am still trying to get back to all of your previous comments, please don't think that I don't care if I haven't answered you yet - your words on this story mean the WORLD to me and they make me happy and I reach every single comment MULTIPLE times, I LIVE for them :-D ! Writing "Guilt" to celebrate 200 followers on Twitter has just taken up too much time cause it is - like any other story - totally gotten out of control. So, what I wanna say: SORRY I haven't had the chance to answer you yet! I will give it my best and I hope you will enjoy this update!
> 
> Let me know!

“…I know… okay… But… But could you please tell me what… Oh… okay… Uh-huh… That’s… yeah…”

Levi had no idea if Erwin’s phone call was going good, bad, or simply okay. His manner was rigid, every muscle seemed taut as he was walking up and down the room while talking (or rather listening) to the voice on the other end of the line. But then again, who would be _relaxed_ when their mother had just died, when trying to find out whether she had made any arrangements regarding her funeral and other morbid as well as sad shit?

Levi sighed quietly to himself, drying another plate he had just washed up in Erwin’s cosy open kitchen, his gaze following the blond pacing up and down an invisible path along the row of windows in the living area.

They hadn’t gone out for breakfast. Erwin was in no state to leave the house, even if that big blond moron had told Levi otherwise, insisting on wanting to take _his boyfriend_ (and damn, that sounded amazing coming out of Erwin’s mouth) out for an early morning meal – but the raven had remained strong, had declined and offered to prepare something for the both of them instead, elaborating on how homemade food was better anyway. And he was glad he’d won that “fight”, because for one, he had been able to impress Erwin by producing a slightly fancy breakfast from scratch and for two… when Erwin’s aunt from Australia had called, Erwin had broken down again, crying and sobbing, and Levi had held him for probably another ten minutes, stroking his hair and back, kissing his temple, rubbing his head against Erwin’s. 

_And it had felt so pure_.

Now, as Levi was cleaning up, Erwin had finally found the strength to take some of the actions he needed to take. And the first thing he –_they_– needed to figure out was how to proceed with the burial. And Levi was impressed with himself, with how composed he actually was during all of this, surprised that he could hold back all of his excitement and the overall enticing feelings he held inside considering that Erwin and him were… _a couple_ now…!

Probably, it was the adrenaline, the shock about Erwin’s mother’s death, that kept him going, Levi feeling driven to be supporting Erwin, having to be the one – along with the blond’s aunt – to guide him through the first steps in this uncomfortable situation. And also: It all reminded him of his Kuchel’s death. And even though Erwin hadn’t been close with his mother – she still was just that: his mum. And with her death, considering that his father had already passed, his childhood and youth had come to a definite end, and a new chapter of his life was beginning. A chapter in which he was alone.

Well… almost.

Because amongst the dread and sadness of this oppressing situation, a part of Levi was glad, so utterly happy that _he_ was a _part_ of that new chapter; and also that he could be of assistance to Erwin in those heavy hours of the beginning of that chapter.

Maybe getting together on the day your mother died wasn’t _romantic_, and probably anything _but_ normal – but then again… what was normal about them? They fucked men for a living in front of the cameras, and he had been in love with Erwin for more than a decade without even really knowing the guy, and then they’ve met and fallen for each other while shooting a scene together with Levi’s cock buried deep inside of Erwin Smith’s virgin ass… And what was normal about all _that_?

So yes: it was _so_ not the right moment to be overjoyed, but going over all of this in his head Levi couldn’t suppress a certain recurring realisation and the powerful feelings that it made race through his body:

HE WAS TOGETHER WITH ERWIN SMITH! 

And fuck, that made his knees buckle – and he hadn’t told Hange yet! They’d totally freak out and—

Erwin’s deep sigh brought him back to reality. A reality in which they _were_ freshly together – but in which they also had to deal with a _death_. 

“You okay?” he asked (_his boyfriend!_) and Erwin reciprocated his gaze, smiling lightly, walking towards the raven.

“Yeah…” Erwin sighed stepping closer, wrapping his arms around Levi’s form from behind, the giant’s chest meeting the raven’s back, his chin resting on top of the noirette’s head, and Levi couldn’t help but lean back a little, enjoying how well their bodies, despite the enormous height difference, fit together. 

“…you found out anything?”

“…a lot actually,” he answered, his embrace tightening. Then, Erwin shifted his head so that his cheek was now resting on top of Levi’s head, and he was rubbing against it slightly, as if he was some type of cat starved for cuddles and caresses – and it was adorable.

“Like what?” Levi enquired, setting another dry plate onto the side carefully, as to not move his body too much. Because he didn’t want to break their physical contact or give Erwin a false impression of wanting to escape his arms – because he didn’t. He so didn’t…!

“Like the fact that I know _shit_,” the man said, sounding a bit bitter, but Erwin didn’t stop rubbing his cheek against the top of Levi’s head.

“Oh…”

The blond sighed, “yeah… the hospital told me her current address. I didn’t even know she’d moved. It’s unclear whether she’d left a testament and whether she’s made any arrangements with a funeral parlour. Or whether she had some different kind of funeral insurance or… whatever.” 

“Fuck,” Levi breathed out, Erwin’s helplessness getting to him. He put the last dish away and dried his hands, quickly turning around within Erwin’s embrace, looping his arms around the man’s neck, getting up to his tiptoes and placing a small kiss onto the man’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Erwin…” he told him, because Levi knew exactly what this meant: Erwin would need to do some digging himself in order to find out. And this would just add to the strain the situation put him under. 

The blond smiled despite obviously being stressed out by everything going on. “I have to go to her house and see through her papers,” he announced warily, and Levi nodded.

“Yeah.”

“So, um… I’m really sorry, but… it seems we have to postpone our dinner tonight,” the blond added, smiling sadly.

“Of course. I was already sure we’d do that anyway… Is your mother’s house close by?”

“Well…” Erwin said, his hands sliding down Levi’s body, coming to a stop at his hips, “it’s a two-hour drive. She lives… _lived_ far up North, at the coast.”

“Damn…”

“Yeah, I had no idea. She used to have a flat in a village just half an hour away from our city, and the last time that hospital called, I was sure she was just visiting a friend who lives up there and that was how she’d ended up there,” Erwin sighed again. “I’m so sorry, this is definitely not the way I wanted our first day _as boyfriends_ to turn out…” he smiled faintly and Levi rolled his eyes lightly.

“Erwin… s-stop apologising,” he told him, fingers stroking the man’s broad neck. “Seriously…”

“Yeah, um, but I _am_ sorry about… having to go now. I think… I think it’s best if I leave in the next hour, traffic will be a bitch in the afternoon and right now I still have a chance to get out without any major difficulties…”

“You’re right,” Levi said, (reluctantly) freeing himself out of _his boyfriend’s_ embrace to walk over to his phone.

“I think I will need to stay the night, because driving back late in the evening might be a hassle, and I’m not sure I’ll actually be able to look through everything today…” Erwin continued to say, following Levi into the living area.

“Most definitely,” Levi agreed, going through his notifications to see whether Hange had maybe contacted him already, because he needed to get in touch with them anyways, to keep them up-to-date about his whereabouts, and—

“You’re mad, aren’t you?” Erwin’s sudden enquiry shook Levi and he snapped his head around.

“_What?_”

Erwin looked uncertain, his hand once again rubbing his own neck, like he had done at the airport when the blond had picked him up with that beautiful rose in his hand… “You’re… you’re mad…”

Levi rolled his eyes – fully this time – and told himself to calm the fuck down. “You really _do_ suck at communication. Or rather at reading people,” he stated stomping over to his boyfriend. “I’m not mad, what the fuck makes you think that? The scowl on my face is my normal look, I can’t help it.”

“I… um…” Erwin stammered, laughing a little bit at Levi’s last comment, “y-you went directly to your phone, i-ignoring me, and I thought…” he uttered, finally pressing his lips together, and Levi sighed.

“Look… I just wanted to let Hange know I’ll be gone till tomorrow, that’s why I went to my phone.”

Erwin blinked – and that thick fuck didn’t seem to understand. “Wh-what do you mean?” he asked daftly and Levi scoffed.

“_Obviously_ I am coming with you, because I am not letting you drive a car for two hours in the state you are in. I-I’m your _b-boyfriend_ now, s-so it’s one of my d-duties to w-worry about you… i-isn’t it?” he added, the adrenaline-forced confidence leaving him there just for a bit because of that breath-taking smile slowly appearing on Erwin’s lips that was combining utter happiness with deep sadness so beautifully, it made him once again realise how pretty Erwin Smith was. Prettier than on film or pictures. 

And then Erwin said it. _Again_. “You’re really, really cute, Levi,” and it made the raven’s heart flutter, “but I really d-don’t want to… f-force you to—“

“You’re _not_ forcing me,” Levi interjected, feeling the blush on his cheeks appear that was always there when he was dealing with the fair-haired giant, “_Erwin_… And I’m coming with you, I mean – i-if you don’t feel _uncomfortable_ with me being there! I mean: If you do, th-then take somebody else with you, make Moblit drive you! O-or take the train or something like that and—“

“I don’t feel uncomfortable, Levi,” Erwin stopped the dark-haired’s rambling, still smiling so softly, it touched Levi’s heart, “it’s quite the opposite… _thank you_,” he murmured and Levi’s heart skipped a beat at how soft the blond sounded and _looked_.

“N-no… p-problem…”

Without any warning Erwin took a step closer, eliminating the distance between their bodies, pulling Levi into another deep embrace. “_Thank you_,” he repeated in a whisper, his breath tickling Levi’s hair, and it also made his knees buckle a little again, because Erwin’s voice was once more so tender and deep and honest and simply beautiful.

Levi wrapped his arms around the blond, closing his eyes, inhaling Erwin’s scent, enjoying this intimate moment, the voices inside of his head making him once more become aware of the fact that Erwin Smith was now his _boyfriend_; and he felt fantastic. Just for that little moment. Because when it was over, Levi needed to get his shit back together and Erwin through this situation. “All right, big guy,” he told him, clapping the blond’s back in a friendly and encouraging manner. “Pack your undies and then let’s go.”

That actually made Erwin chuckle lightly, and Levi’s heart skipped just another little beat. “Okay,” the man murmured, and while he packed some necessities into a little travel bag, Levi sent Hange that text message he’s been meaning to shoot them.

_ ‘I’m going away for the night to look through Erwin’s dead mother’s things at her house at the coast.’ _

Hange answered immediately. _‘This is the weirdest and creepiest date you have ever been on – but have fun, I guess?’_

And only then Levi realised that he had, indeed, phrased the whole matter in a rather very shitty way, and corrected himself, informing Hange about Erwin’s mum’s passing and why they were going to her place.

_‘Holy shit, I am so sorry! Please pass on my condolences to Erwin – and you are such a cutie pie for helping him,’ _Hange replied. And just as Levi was to stuff his phone into the back pocket of his grey jeans, the device vibrated again. Another message from Hange had come in, and it made Levi grin stupidly. _‘Wait! WAIT! WAIIIIIT! Does this actually mean you’re TOGETHER???’ _

He answered. Honestly: _‘Yes – I came to the conclusion that I have already started trusting him and he’s really great, Hange. I also made him ask ME out, and I generally have a good feeling about this :-)’ _…and then his phone wouldn’t keep still, because Hange was bombarding him with tons of cheering messages, simple texts saying ‘OMG’ or ‘YES’, gifs of screaming and cheering people, as well as pictures of… Erwin’s dick, taken from the man’s social media, with Hange informing him eloquently: _‘This is YOURS now, how does that FEEL, dude?’ _

“Oh god…” he mumbled and put his mobile into silent mode, feeling the heat covering his cheeks and definitely painting them slightly red.

“What’s the matter?” Erwin enquired, coming out of his bedroom (which Levi hadn’t seen yet) with his bag ready for travelling.

“I, um, I just told Hange about us, and… Ah, I’m supposed to give you their condolences, and, well basically they just freaked out a little about us being together. In a positive way,” he quickly added, seeing Erwin furrow his brows.

The upcoming frown stopped and Erwin’s face relaxed, his lips pulling into a smile. “Thank you,” the man replied, making a slight pause, “I guess I have to tell Moblit, too.”

“…about us?”

“Yeah. And about my mother’s death.”

“You haven’t told him yet?!”

“…no…” Erwin confessed, grimacing.

Levi sighed. “You can do it on the road, come on, let’s go. We need to stop by at my place first, so I can pack some stuff, too.”

“…which car are we taking anyways?”

“Since _I_ will be the one doing most of the driving, mine. And before you protest: no, I will _not_ have you driving in your condition right now. Besides: my car’s not parked well and I’m afraid some asshole might be pissed off about it and damage it, you know this city’s full of psychos who hate cars...”

“Yep,” Erwin agreed, nodding, grinning lightly. 

The blond fell in love with Levi’s vehicle the moment he saw it. A five years old, black Audi A1. “This is the cutest Audi ever produced and it _totally_ fits you,” he commented on the small car, chuckling, and Levi rolled his eyes. “Because it’s cool and fast!” the man quickly added, “N-not because it’s… um… _petite_…” the raven grinned at this remark, taking away any fear Erwin might have felt for possibly hurting his feelings by commenting on his (as well as his car’s) small size.

“Being _petite_ has its advantages – especially in the bedroom,” he said, wondering in the next second whether _that_ might have been too much on his side, but Erwin snickered – and seeing the man act like this despite his current situation he was in, _really_ made the raven happy. “What car are you driving then? A Hummer? To fit _your_ size?” he asked.

Erwin snickered again and pointed to a vehicle parked on the other side of the street. “That one,” he said, and Levi followed his gaze, beginning to laugh as soon as he spotted the one Erwin was pointing at: It was a very old, red Volkswagen Golf. That, Levi had not expected. He’d thought Erwin was more of a BMW-type.

“Holy crap,” Levi snorted, “does that thing actually still drive or do you use it for street decoration?” The car wasn’t only old, it also wasn’t much bigger than his little Audi-devil on wheels…

“It’s the best one I have ever driven, and it’s running smoothly and will probably last another decade” Erwin answered smugly, “I take very good care of Herbert.”

“…wait,” Levi muttered, his lips pulling into a grin, “you’ve given your car a _name_?”

“Don’t tell me _yours_ doesn’t have one!” Erwin acted appalled as they got into the, indeed, nameless car.

“That is such a girly thing to do, oh my god…” Levi muttered, chuckling.

“Girly?” Erwin picked up, raising a brow, still grinning. “I think it’s very _manly_ – knowing your car well, fixing it yourself, making sure the machine is running properly... This way it’s only natural you have a _connection_ with it.”

“It’s a car. A _thing_, how can you have a connection with it?” Levi started his vehicle and Erwin buckled up – and the raven had to admit that he felt thrilled that for one, the blond and him were having another banter-filled, relaxed, easy conversation, Levi obviously being able to distract Erwin, and for two: Erwin Smith was inside of his car, that they were going on a trip _together_, as a _couple_.

…even if the occasion was very… _morbid_.

“I think it’s very human to project human traits onto lifeless objects,” the blond mused as Levi steered the Audi without a name onto the main road, “there are people naming all sorts of things they find important in their lives or which they enjoy. Like their computers… or coffee machines.”

“…don’t tell me _your_ coffee machine has a name, too,” Levi snorted, and when Erwin didn’t answer immediately, the raven turned his head to shoot the blond a glance, and what he found was… amazing. A slightly blushing Erwin, looking out of the window, trying not to grin. “Oh god, you did!” Levi laughed out. “Holy hell, you _did_!” Erwin clicked his tongue, but couldn’t suppress an embarrassed laugh from leaving his lips. “Come on!” Levi prompted. “Don’t leave me hanging here – you _need_ to _tell_ me!”

“All right, all right,” Erwin agreed, reciprocating Levi’s next glance, before the raven had to look back onto the street. “My coffee machine is, um, it’s called… Beanelli.”

“Beanelli!!!” Levi practically yelled, breaking out into a fit of laughter. “Beanelli… I-I… Because of the coffee beans?”

“…yes, and because I really like Italian coffee, so…”

“Oh my god…” Levi couldn’t stop chuckling. “Beanelli…”

Erwin was laughing, too, slightly ashamed, slightly amused – and it was _such_ a beautiful sound. A sound Levi could get used to hearing forever…

“Fucking shit, that is so cute…” Levi muttered out his thoughts he couldn’t control, couldn’t hold in.

“…I’m glad you find me cute,” Erwin suddenly said, and Levi just had to turn his head to look at his _boyfriend_ smiling so gorgeously at him.

“You’re the cutest fucking thing ever,” the raven emphasized, keeping the thoughts about Erwin also being the _hottest_ fucking thing ever (and the best fuck he’d actually ever had) inside of his mind, reluctantly turning his head back to focus on the traffic – and thank fuck he did, cause another car just pulled into his lane without even blinking and forced him to brake hard in order to avoid collision. “Fucking shithead!” he screamed, and honked at the Mercedes in front of him. “Did you see what that asshole just did?” he scoffed, shaking his head – and pounded the horn a few more times more, making sure that idiot would get just _how_ much he fucked up. “People in this city, I fucking swear…!”

Erwin chuckled. “I kind of suspected you to be the type of honking and cursing driver…”

“Oh, did you?” Levi was still glaring at the car in front of him, now absolutely following speed limit, and who the fuck did _that_ anyway? He clicked his tongue, annoyed. “What a fucking prick…” he muttered, and Erwin laughed some more; and this sound made Levi’s heart skip another beat.

“So… what do we do about your car?” Erwin suddenly remarked.

“What?” Levi frowned, not following.

“It needs a name,” the blond said – and Levi’s anger about the Mercedes driver was instantly gone, his attention back on his adorable _boyfriend_.

“If you insist on that – why don’t _you_ name it, huh?” the raven suggested, and he swore that Erwin was… beaming.

_…and that was just so fucking cute and adorable and somehow sexy that Levi could almost not stand it…!_

“All right,” Erwin then said, rubbing his chin, Levi now totally convinced he was extremely good at distracting the man, “hmmm… Lemme think…”

“Take all the time you need…” Levi mumbled.

And Erwin did. After a few minutes he came up with it. “Gremlin.”

“…_what?!_” Levi spat out – and Erwin started laughing loudly. “_Gremlin?! _ Like those little… monsters from that old horror movie?!”

“Y-yes…” Erwin answered, his voice shaky because he was still laughing; and it truly did melt Levi’s heart.

“What are you trying to imply, Smith?” he countered, and Erwin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

“That your car is cute, just like you – but also a beast… just like you,” he added a little quietly.

Levi scoffed (but he was blushing so HARD) and when he looked at Erwin, the man was still grinning wildly, and that glimmer in his blue eyes was intoxicating. “Gremlin…” Levi repeated incredulously.

“Hey, _you_ said I should name it!” the blond man protested, and Levi rolled his eyes – even though he didn’t _really_ mean it.

“Will naming it Gremlin make you happy?” he asked, looking over at his _boyfriend_, and Erwin was beaming again.

“Yes,” he answered, nodding, as if trying to emphasize his answer.

Levi sighed. “Fine,” he then agreed, “then Gremlin it is.”

And that enthusiastic “yes!” that came out of Erwin’s mouth, it… it… It made Levi feel so many things and he couldn’t help his lips turning up and into a smile. “Damn, I wish I could kiss you right now,” the blond man suddenly remarked – and those words worked like magic on Levi.

Now _he_ was the asshole driver spontaneously changing lanes, getting honked at, leaving the main road to turn into the next upcoming side street, bringing Gremlin to a stop at the sidewalk, to then lean over the centre console, grab the collar of Erwin’s dark green t-shirt and pull the man down and closer, making their lips literally _crash_ against each other – and Erwin immediately complied, reacted, _melted_ against Levi, cupping the man’s cheek with his big hand, sighing contentedly into the kiss. And Erwin’s lips felt soft and warm, and even though this kiss was chaste, both men not involving their tongues, it was wonderful and intense, making pleasurable shivers run down Levi’s spine as he kept pressing his mouth against Erwin’s, as their lips produced lovely and quiet smacking sounds whenever they parted only to quickly meet again, and Levi’s heart was pounding in his chest, all the voices singing, repeating a line over and over again in their angelic melody: _Erwin Smith was his boyfriend…!_

A car honking made both men startle. “Motherfucker!” Levi cursed – making Erwin chuckle lightly again – and when he looked up, he realised he had stopped Gremlin in a way that was making it impossible for the cars behind him to pass him. “Shit,” he cursed, leaning back to continue the drive, his lips still warm and moist from their contact with Erwin’s, and when he glanced at Erwin, the man had this enticingly, dreamy expression on his face, a soft smile on his equally wet lips, looking outside the window. Yes: Erwin Smith looked simply beautiful, and he was _his_, and Levi still could not believe it, and instantly felt the urge to kiss the man again…

But they needed to get going, and so Levi didn’t stop the car again, until they pulled up in front of his house. “Can… can I come up with you?” Erwin asked, sounding so insecure and innocent, Levi felt as if _he_ was the older one for a second.

“O-of course…”

Erwin smiled and then followed Levi upstairs, and when the raven opened the door to his flat and let his _boyfriend_ inside – that’s when he grew nervous. Because he remembered the state his bedroom was in. The walls. Stripped off all the Erwin Smith posters. Some little paper shreds still sticking to them, and Levi’s heart began to, yet again, pound in his chest.

“I like your place,” said Erwin, and Levi chuckled nervously.

“Th-thanks, I… I-I’m gonna hurry up!” he said, “You call Moblit while I quickly pack my stuff.”

“Will do,” Erwin agreed, grabbing his mobile to do just that, and Levi sprinted off into the bedroom; immediately closing the door behind him and started randomly throwing underwear and socks as well as some shirts and an extra pair of jeans into his bag, to quickly leave the chamber that desperately needed remodelling and stop Erwin from possibly entering.

He succeeded and found the blond standing by the window, finishing talking to Moblit. “…okay… yeah, I’ll call you… thank you, Moblit.”

Their eyes met. “You ready to go?” asked Levi and Erwin nodded – and off they went.

Just like Erwin had predicted, they left the city without any major traffic jams and were quickly on the motorway leading up North with Levi enjoying bringing Gremlin up to speed, driving 180 kilometres per hour, focussing on the other travellers on the road as well as on his attempts to keep conversation going – because he didn’t want Erwin to brood over his mother and her death, didn’t want the man to think about what had happened, what her death meant, where they were going and what they had to do.

So Levi talked. As hard as this was for him, he _talked_. Rambled. About everything and nothing, about the ridiculous price of gasoline and where he had actually bought Gremlin, “a big and flashy car business in the southern part of the town with salesmen willing to lick your asshole. if that’s what would made you buy shit,” he said while Erwin continued to merely grunt, having grown still after they’d left the city, “I bought it after my second filming, to kind of reward myself.”

“Before porn…” Erwin suddenly started speaking, “…you were a camboy, right?”

“…yeah.”

“Why did you quit? I mean: camboys make a lot of money, don’t they? And all you have to do is fuck… _yourself_. Basically.”

Levi sighed. “Yeah… well, I am earning way more now that I’m a porn actor, also with all the extra jobs I do, like promoting sex toys or modelling for the companies’ websites _because_ I’m a known adult performer, which doesn’t mean I totally stopped being a camboy.”

That seemed to pique Erwin’s interest. “Oh?”

“Yeah, well…” Levi said, looking for the right words to explain this. “I still have a few… customers from before that I do videos for, and only a little bit of live shows, if I feel like it, where I, um, fuck myself with a dildo or vibrator – like the one shaped after your dick – or simply jack off,” Levi added, clearing his throat, and when he dared to look over at Erwin, the man was looking at him in this interested fashion, obviously waiting for him to continue. “But I’m not partnered with a site anymore, I-I gave that up when I started doing porn,” Levi elaborated, “um… actually making money as a camboy sounds so easy, but it’s a lot of work, and you need to actually communicate a lot with your viewers, if you want their money, and… and I kinda suck at that, so doing porn, where I don’t even really have to talk to my co-star except for the _‘oh yeah go harder, daddy’_-thing and incessant moaning – you know what I’m talking about,” at that Erwin breathed out a laugh.

“Yeah…”

“…it’s just a lot easier for me,” the raven concluded. “And the customers, or viewers, I kept are the ones that are easy to talk to, because I-I don’t actually need to talk to them at all… Like: they send me a request for a video, like: wear women’s panties, a garter belt with stockings and jack off – and when they paypal me their money, they get their desired video, live or not, and that’s that.”

“…garter belt and stockings…” Erwin murmured, his lips suddenly pulling into a slight grin, “I think… I think I’d like that on you…”

And that’s the moment Levi felt himself _blush_ ferociously. “…I… I, um… I can… I can wear them for y-you… i-if… if you like…” he muttered, fingers holding on tightly to the steering wheel.

Their eyes met briefly, Erwin still lightly grinning in that mesmerising, sexy way. “Yeah…” he rasped, as Levi’s gaze returned to the road, “I think… I… _I’d love that._”

Something stirred at the pit of Levi’s stomach, but it ebbed away as quickly as it had started. Because this wasn’t the time to get aroused. And Erwin seemed to be feeling the same way.

Levi talked a bit more on how he’d stared being a camboy, making some obscure experienced by trying to set up his own business before Hange made him partner with some serious sites providing customers and a somewhat safer space. Then, silence befell them and they both listened to the news on the radio and the presenter talking about the situations on the roads. “Ah, we’re lucky,” said Erwin at the end of that, when both men realised their paths hadn’t been mentioned at all.

“Yep.”

Then, Erwin sighed. “Moblit said that we all – you and Hange, and me and him – need to sit down together after we come back and decide how we will, um… proceed with our relationship.”

Levi frowned, not really understanding what his blond boyfriend meant. “_Proceed?_” Was Erwin not sure about being together with him…? Proceed? Was he willing to already go on a break because of some promotional shit Moblit was planning, or—?

“I mean, if we make it official – meaning, if we announce it publicly – or not, and stuff like that…”

“Ah…” Now that made sense. And as much as it relieved the raven, it also made Levi nervous. And a little bit anxious as well. “Wh-what… um, I mean: wh… what would y-_you_ want?” …and that traitor in his chest started beating fast once again.

Even faster, when Erwin gave him an answer. “I would definitely want to announce being together with you publicly,” the man said, “especially after my public apology to you,” he added, laughing a bit nervously, and warmth filled the raven-haired’s chest when his thoughts travelled back to this beautiful text Erwin had posted.

“Yeah…” he breathed out, “I-I’d really like th- that… too,” he said gently – and that’s the moment Erwin reached out for Levi’s right hand resting on the raven’s thigh – Hange would have lectured him about always having to keep _both_ hands on the wheel, but fuck them, they weren’t here – and when Erwin laced their fingers together, and Levi turned his head to shortly look at his _boyfriend_, he couldn’t stop the smile from reappearing on his face. 

“I’m glad…” Erwin nearly whispered, his thumb stroking in distracting circles over Levi’s sensitive skin – and they just stayed like that for a whole song coming from the radio; not speaking, not conversing, simply keeping quiet, staying connected like that, feeling each other’s warmth; and Levi enjoyed it. Oh god, he enjoyed it so much, the pressure of his fingers joined with Erwin’s tightening, signalling his _boyfriend_ without having to use words that this meant so much to him and that he didn’t want the man to let go. And Erwin didn’t. Even though he started speaking again. “Um… there’s… I guess there’s something you need to know…” he suddenly said, and Levi couldn’t deny the fact that he felt another light wave of anxiety rush through his system filled with fluffy candyfloss.

“…wh-what…?” he asked, swallowing dryly.

“Um…” Erwin began, his thumb not stopping the circular motions, “I… I’ve never…” he sighed, and that’s also when his thumb _did_ finally stop. “You…” Levi was chewing his bottom lip and going crazy a little with that blond moron stuttering around that was supposed to be the big, bad, confident hunk of a man called Erwin Smith. “I…”

“…you… what?” Levi tried pushing him softly, screaming at himself not to jab verbally at Erwin, reminding him to keep his focus and hold his feelings back a little because of the man’s situation.

“I’ve never…” Erwin tried again, and when Levi shot at side glance at him, he saw Erwin roll his eyes, and then the man sighed – and completely let go of Levi’s hand, looking at his own lap where he folded both of his hands now, and he finally let it out, in a despondent and at the same time irritated voice: “You’re my first boyfriend…”

_WHAT?!_ screamed the voices inside of Levi’s head and “WHAT?!” screamed Levi.

And that’s when Erwin screamed “WATCH OUT!” and Levi’s eyes darted back onto the road, where he had almost steered Gremlin against the motorway barrier, both of his hands grabbing the wheel instantly and steadying the car, thinking about Hange’s lecture about both hands on the wheel and how his manager was always right…

“S-sorry…” Levi murmured, changing to the right lane and slowing the vehicle down a little. Erwin sighed, and didn’t seem to want to elaborate. But he, _kurwa_, had to! “What did you say? First boyfriend?” Levi enquired, snorting a little. “I mean, I’ve read so many interviews of yours and I swear to fucking god, you talked about _partners_…”

Erwin pressed his lips tightly together, grimacing, before he let out a fit of air. “Yeah… you’re right about that, but… those partners… they were never my _boyfriends_.”

“…so what were they? Your _plants? Pets?_”

Erwin snorted, shooting Levi a side glance, shortly meeting the raven’s eyes. “No,” he answered, “more of the ‘friends with benefits’ sort? Affairs? I don’t know what to call them to be honest. It was never serious. Just, you know: spending time together, going on dates, fucking, never something really exclusive and never something that lasted long, never something that was officially called a _relationship_…”

Suddenly, Levi’s throat went dry, and his fingers dug into the leather cover of Gremlin’s steering wheel. “So… uh… um… s-so… that means… D-does that m-mean…?”

“I’m serious about you,” Erwin said without any hesitation, “that’s why I want to make it official. And, yeah, it’s what I said: you’re my first boyfriend, my first relationship. And… and, um, I hope we’re on the same page…? I mean, you also wanting—”

“Yes!” Levi boomed even before his brain had completely processed the information. “Yes,” he repeated, nodding, “yes, we’re on the same page. _Boyfriends_. Exclusive relationship. _Not_ just an affair. Not friends with benefits. Hell no! _Boyfriends_.”

…and his outburst made Erwin laugh again – and the man slid his hand back onto Levi’s thigh, and Levi covered it with his, grabbing it, squeezing it, looking at Erwin, offering a smile, which the man reciprocated, and Levi’s mind was… still blown, while he was the happiest human being alive in this moment.

HE. WAS. ERWIN’S. FIRST. BOYFRIEND.

KURWA. FUCKING. MAC.

!!!

“…um, I think it would be better if you looked back onto the road,” Erwin suddenly remarked, making Levi realize he was staring at Erwin.

“I-I-I’m… s-sorry,” Levi stuttered, focussing back on driving and not making them crash into a lorry or road sign, “I-I’m just…”

“You weren’t expecting this,” Erwin finished Levi’s train of thoughts.

“…yeah.”

“I hope it doesn’t bother you…”

“No!” Levi immediately clarified. “No! Not at all…!” Actually… Actually it kind of made him feel giddy, the longer he thought about it. He had taken the man’s anal virginity and now he was taking another once, a more innocent one – but one that meant so much more nonetheless. “I… I-I think I’m… I think I’m actually q-quite h-happy about it…” He squeezed Erwin’s hand again and shot him a quick glance, seeing that Erwin’s was gaze was focussed on their joined hands and that the man was smiling. 

“How many boyfriends have _you_ had… If I may ask?”

“Um,” Levi had to think about it for a while. “Only a few, when I was a teenager and at the beginning of my twenties. Um… four in total. But it was never anything... very serious. And it stopped when I started being a camboy. The guy I was with at that time, Stephan, couldn’t handle it. And when I started doing porn, I didn’t even bother to go looking for a boyfriend…”

Erwin nodded. “Yeah, dating civilians only works in a few cases,” he agreed, humming. “Most porn actors do date other porn actors.”

“Yeah,” Levi said, having heard of a few couples himself. And it made sense. A civilian, a person not filming porn, would never understand what filming porn actually meant – that it was just a job, and that fucking or being fucked in front of the camera had nothing to do with cheating on each other or lusting for somebody else or…

“Mike’s actually dating one of our co-workers,” Erwin continued to speak.

“Oh?” Now Levi’s interest was piqued. “He is?”

Erwin nodded, smiling softly. “Yes, that’s why he was really pissed off when _Boner Mag_ claimed him and I were an item…”

“Yeah…” Levi hated that fucking article so much too, or rather what it had done to him, and didn’t actually want to think about it. “So… So he hasn’t made it official.”

“No,” said Erwin.

“…who is he dating? Can… can you tell me?”

“You have to keep quiet about it.”

“Do I really seem like somebody who gossips to you?” Levi scoffed, and Erwin chuckled.

“No,” the man answered. “No, you don’t. Otherwise I wouldn’t be dating you.” And that just sounded amazing. “It’s Bucky West.”

“What?!” Levi screamed again, and Erwin laughed. “Bucky fucking West?”

“Yes.”

“B-but… but… but…” Levi started cracking up, because he was so surprised and this is how his body reacted. “Like… Bucky...” – the man with the dark blond hair, neatly trimmed beard, sharp eyebrows and flawless chest (and a thick cock) – “Bucky West… it’s like… he’s _such_ a top! And Mike’s such a top! How… what… how does that even work?”

“They wrestle each time they have sex and who wins, gets to top,” Erwin explained calmly.

“…what?” Levi gasped, the according sequences his mind was creating driving him nuts – and then Erwin started laughing.

“That was a joke,” the man explained in a low voice, and laughed some more, while Levi scoffed. 

“…so what? Does Bucky West bottom in private or what?”

“…it’s the other way around.”

“…is… is this _another_ joke…?”

Erwin shook his head. “No. Mike tops as an actor, and does all that BDSM ‘I’m your hard master thing and Imma whip ya around’ and whatnot – but in private, when he’s with the right man, he’s a… he’s such a slut for cock.”

Levi giggled. Holy hell, he fucking giggled, and he couldn’t stop it. “You’re… You’re shitting me, you are f-fucking shitting me, man… You…”

Erwin began snickering as well. “No, I swear, Levi. I’m telling you the truth.”

“Holy macaroni!” Levi babbled. “I would have never expected that!”

“…well, would you have expected _me_ to ever bottom?” Erwin countered, and Levi froze for a second.

He cleared his throat. “…no… But that’s… That was… on film, for film, a-as an actor. And you were forced.”

“…and I liked it.”

…

Levi blinked.

Then, he blinked again, staring at the ass of the lorry driving in front of him, his leg on the gas pedal becoming weak, Gremlin slowing down to 80 kilometres per hour, and Levi’s mouth starting to dry out.

“Y-you… _what_…?”

Erwin laughed, but as he began to speak, his voice wasn’t as confident as that sound he’d just let out. “I… I liked bottoming…” he confessed, sounding soft and a little bit shy. “…with you. I mean, for you. Whatever: I… I liked having you top me…”

“…uh… um… th-thanks…?” Another laugh left Erwin’s mouth as a reaction to Levi’s answers. Then, both men fell silent. But inside of Levi’s head those little people steering his mind and body were up and about, screaming, yelling, and pushing all sorts of buttons in a panic, not knowing what the kurwa hell to do, say and _think_. “Um…” he stammered, swallowing and licking over his suddenly very dry lips, those images from their first movie swamping his brain, and making his body want to do stuff it shouldn’t be doing right now. 

True: Erwin had really seemed like he had enjoyed the act itself, he’d climaxed and he’d written in his statement that he would gladly give his virginity to Levi again. But hearing the man actually say this… it was something completely different. It was so much more intense. And… how had their conversation actually become this sexual again? But: did it matter? He knew now that Erwin wasn’t just in for his body – the man wanted so much more and he was willing to put his emotions out in the open; _had_ already done that with his statement. 

“Ow,” said Erwin and Levi immediately turned his head to face him. “You’re, um, you’re kind of crushing my fingers there…” the blond remarked pointing to Levi’s thigh, where both of their hands lay, Levi’s digits wrapped tightly around Erwin’s.

“Oh fuck!”, Levi gasped, immediately letting go and putting his hand to join the other onto the wheel. “I’m sorry…”

And his brain was still working on what Erwin had told him before, and just before Levi opened his mouth to ask, Erwin’s phone rang, and the man apologized for having to take it. 

It was Moblit, as it turned out, who had been so kind and found a hotel for Erwin and Levi to stay in near Erwin’s mother’s place. “It’s just three streets away,” the man informed Levi after the conversation with his friend and manager, “so we can basically walk. And… it’s both basically almost right next to the beach…”

“Oh,” Levi breathed, and then when he wanted to open his mouth again to come back to the matter of Erwin liking the raven top him… the robotic female voice of the car’s navigational system informed him that he would need to leave the motorway at the next exit; and Levi was dumbfounded. 

How could they be so close already?  
How the hell had almost two hours passed this quickly?

…and when he looked at Erwin, he shut his mouth for good, deciding not to return to their sexual conversations, because the information of having almost arrived at their destination, clearly did something to the man. And Levi could totally understand that. His face had hardened, and he was clutching to his phone, pressing both of his lips together.

That’s when Levi decided to start rambling again, about stuffed motorways, stupid drivers, how horrific they had been in Poland were nobody paid attention to the laws in place and drove like a maniac, how he already missed the food and shit like that. Until they arrived in the town and stopped at the hospital.

“Um, you… you want me to come with you?” Levi asked Erwin, who shook his head, evidently completely tense.

“No, thanks, but… I need to do this alone,” he said.

“Okay…” Levi answered and waited in the car, texting Hange that they had arrived and Erwin was picking up his mum’s things, like the key to her house.

Erwin was pale when he came back after a while. A plastic bag in his hand with a wallet and other unimportant stuff, a set of keys in his hands. “…you okay?” Levi asked him, and the man nodded. But you could clearly see it was a lie. “Um… you need to type in the address of the hotel into the navigation…”

“Oh. Right,” said the blond man and did as asked. Then, Erwin remained quiet, and so did Levi – because he was also tense and his brain couldn’t come up with anything anymore. Except for “that’s some nice houses on this road, huh?” which Erwin didn’t even react to, staring at the key in his hand, turning it to all sides, as if it held the answer to all existential questions, and Levi totally did not blame him, asking himself, if Erwin had gone down to the morgue to see his dead mother’s body… And those things totally fucked with your head…

The hotel was small and old, built in the 1960s, its interior having remained stuck in that era, but it would do. Levi did the talking during the check-in, and Erwin stared at the floor. They carried their bags into the room which wasn’t big but not small either. In the middle stood a big double bed and Levi immediately opened the windows to get rid of the smell of detergents – secretly being happy that the room had evidently been cleaned, and even though the furniture was ancient, it was anything but dirty.

He startled, as Erwin suddenly walked up from behind him, and wrapped his arms around his body, like he had done in the kitchen this morning, his cheek resting on top of Levi’s head, slightly rubbing against it. Levi relaxed and put his hands onto Erwin’s warm and strong arms. “…you okay…?” he asked, knowing it was the most stupid question to blurt out, but what else was he supposed to fucking do?

“I saw her…” Erwin told him, his voice cracking, and Levi felt his heart ache a little.

“I’m so sorry, Erwin…”

“You know what the worst thing was about that?” the man continued to speak in a weak and hushed voice.

“…what?” Levi asked quietly.

“…I didn’t feel anything,” Erwin breathed out, sounding even weaker than before, sounding shocked, and appalled with himself, and…

“Erwin, I—“

“…at least not for her…” the man continued, “I just… I… I had to think about my father again…”

Levi started caressing the skin covering Erwin’s toned arms. “I’m sorry… babe…” he whispered, and he felt Erwin’s arms around him tighten and the man take a deep breath in, as of trying to calm him down, as if trying to hold back the tears; and maybe that’s exactly what Erwin was doing. That’s why Levi didn’t move, didn’t turn around, didn’t break their bodies apart, but waited, merely continuing to caress his _boyfriend’s_ arms. 

So they just stood there, looking outside of the opened window from their room on the third floor, looking at the wide, open water, listening to sea gulls sing their quirky song, a light breeze brushing over their exposed skin.

“…thank you for coming here with me…” Erwin suddenly whispered, and pressed his lips onto Levi’s hair, who closed his eyes, enjoying this tender gesture of affection, smiling lightly.

“Of course,” he murmured, “now that you’ve made me your boyfriend you’ll have to get used to this,” he said, and a moment of silence passed.

“To what?” the blond enquired, mumbling against Levi’s head, his warm breath brushing over Levi’s skull.

“That I’ll be supporting you, whatever you do, and I’ll be going with you, wherever you need to go,” Levi said, once more surprised at his own self for being so… composed, and gentle, and honest, and not stuttering. “I’ll follow you anywhere, Erwin Smith,” he added, and Erwin’s embrace tightened once more.

“…thank you, Levi…” the man whispered and pressed another kiss onto Levi’s crown. “Thank you…”

They stayed like this for another few minutes, until Erwin finally let go of his smaller partner and Levi turned around to look into those blue, glassy eyes. Erwin even managed to smile a little when their gazes met. “So… big guy… tell me what we should do now,” Levi said, and his boyfriend sighed, his head turning, gaze landing on the set of keys he had placed on the dark dresser.

“We should go directly to her house,” Erwin said, “I… I just wanna get this over with…”

“Of course,” said Levi, grabbing the keys, as well as Erwin’s hand, “then shall we?”

Erwin smiled again, his face going so soft, Levi wanted to fucking lick it like ice cream, blushing slightly at that thought. “Yeah, let’s go… _baby_…”

And they went.


End file.
